No longer deprived of going out, nor encumbered by my clairvoyant arsenal, I spend the following days in the company of Miles and Haven. We hang out at the cafe, go shopping, go to the movies, walk around town, attend Miles’ rehearsals. I am so happy to have returned to a normal life! But when Riley shows up on Christmas morning, I’m incredibly
relieved to see her.
She gives me a radiant smile. It is no longer blurry or translucent.
Hey! Hold on ! she exclaims, blocking my way to prevent me from reaching the corridor. You’re not going to open your presents without me! I already know what you’re going to get! Do you want a clue?
Out of the question ! I love not knowing, it changes me. I watch her perform a series of cartwheels in the middle of my room.
Speaking of surprises, you won’t believe it, she giggles. Jeff
bought Sabine a ring! He left his mother, moved into an apartment, and now he’s begging her to give him back his
chance !
I notice his faded jeans and layered t-shirts,
Glad to see she stopped dressing up and copying me.
It’s true ?
Of course. Sabine will send him the ring back immediately. Finally, I
I believe, because she hasn’t received the ring yet. We’ll see. But hey, people are rarely surprising, right?
I wonder if she has any juicy anecdotes to tell.
Do you still spy on celebrities?
Oh no, please! It was seriously starting to tire me out,
these stories. And then it’s always the same thing: shopping overdose, food overdose, drug overdose, and presto, in rehab. Wash, rinse, take the same ones and start again… pfft! I wish I could hold her in my arms. I was so afraid of losing her…
What are you looking at ?
You.
So what ?
And so, I’m overjoyed that you’re here. And to be able
to see you. I feared I had lost the ability to do so when Ava showed me how to make a shield.
In fact, you have indeed lost it, this faculty. I had to gather all my energy so you could see me.
Besides, I had to borrow some of yours, too. Don’t you feel a little tired?
Yes, but since I just got up…
It doesn’t matter, it will pass.
Riley? Are you… are you still seeing Ava?
I hold my breath waiting for the answer.
No it’s finished. Finished. Come on, I can’t wait to see your face when you unbox your new iPhone! Oops !
And she puts her hand over her mouth and bursts out laughing, before leaving the room through the closed door. I go out in a more traditional way.
Are you really staying with me? Don’t you have to leave, go somewhere?
She climbs up the railing and slides down, before turning around and declaring with a big smile:
No more now.
Sabine returned the ring. I got an iPhone. Riley comes to see me every day and even accompanies me from time to time to
high school. Miles is dating one of the Hairspray dancers, Haven dyed her hair dark brown, she got rid of her
gothic outfit and began painful laser sessions to erase his tattoo. She burned all her Drina dresses, and adopted the emo look. The New Year came and went, celebrated by
a little evening at home, with cider for myself (I no longer touch a drop of alcohol), champagne bought with a fake
card for my friends, and a little midnight swim in the Jacuzzi.
Rather quiet for a New Year’s Eve, but we weren’t bored. Stacia and Honor haven’t changed, they still give me murderous looks, worse than before, the days
where I take care of my look a little. Mr. Robins has rebuilt his life (without his daughter or his wife), Mrs. Machado continues to shudder in horror when examining my paintings, and in the middle of it all there is Damen.
Like the binding of a book, or a joint between tiles, it
fills the voids and makes my life more coherent, fuller. Whatever I do, during a test, a meal, a film, a song, a dip in the Jacuzzi, I keep it in the back of my mind,
reassured to know that he is there, somewhere, even if I have decided to live without him.
On Valentine’s Day, Haven and Miles are in love – not with each other, of course. We have lunch together, but I could
I might as well be alone: they each have their noses glued to their cell phones, while my iPhone sits next to me, silent and sluggish.
Oh no ! This guy is so funny! Too smart! Miles throws out for the thirty-six thousandth time, his face beaming, searching for the right answer.
Oh, Lord! Josh just sent me tons of
songs! How nice he is! Haven stammers, typing a response at top speed.
I’m happy to see them so happy, wondering if I
I’m not going to skip drawing class at the end of the afternoon. Because here at Bay View High, it’s not just Valentine’s Day, it’s also Secrets of the Heart Day. Which means that we distribute
large red lollipops in the shape of a heart, precisely, decorated
of a rosy favor. And while Miles and Haven no longer hold together
room for the idea of receiving theirs, even if their respective boyfriends do not attend the same high school, I hope to end the day without
leave too many feathers.
Since I gave up the iPod/hood/glasses look
sun, some boys from high school have started to come around to me, but I’m not interested. The fact is, there is no one in this establishment (on this planet!) who can compete with Damen. Nada. Impossible. And I’m in no hurry to place the
bar lower.
But when the last hour bell rings, I
know I can’t dry. My period of absenteeism, like my period of alcoholism, is over. So I gather my courage and enter class, where I concentrate on my
new work, already doomed to failure: imitate one of the movements in “ism”. I made the mistake of choosing cubism, thinking it would be easy. Except that it’s far from it. You can take my word for it.
I feel a presence behind my back. But when I see a boy armed with a red lollipop, I go back to work, convinced that there is a mistake in the person.
Sorry, I think you’re wrong, I say without bothering to turn around, seeing that he insists.
Is that you, Ever? I nod my head yes.
Okay, so the lollipop is for you. Busy, because I have to distribute the whole box before the bell rings.
And he throws the candy at me before disappearing. I put down my charcoal, unfold the map, and read the following:
I always think of you.
Damen.
