I don’t have time to apply the handbrake when she’s there, in front of the door.
Unless she’s really clairvoyant, she must have been doing nothing since I called.
I feel guilty at the thought, noticing his worried expression.
Welcome, Ever, she said with a smile as she led me into a pretty, tastefully decorated living room.
I look around the room: framed photos, a coffee table supporting a stack of books, a sofa and matching armchairs. I am surprised to find the furnishings so normal. She bursts out laughing.
Did you expect to see purple drapes and crystal balls?
She motions for me to follow her into the sun-drenched kitchen, with beige tiled floors, stainless steel appliances, and a Velux window that
lets in floods of light. She offers me a chair and puts water to boil.
I’m going to make some tea.
I watch her place some biscuits on a plate, let the tea steep, before sitting down in front of me.
Um, sorry for being so…so rude, I said, blaming myself for my clumsiness.
Ava places her hand on mine, smiling. And, at this contact, I can’t help but feel better.
Don’t worry. I’m glad you came, Ever. I was very worried about you.
I keep my eyes down, fixed on the apple green placemat, not knowing what to say.
But she has the situation well in hand.
Have you seen Riley these days? She begins abruptly. I didn’t expect it and hesitated before answering.
Yes. Besides, she doesn’t look good at all, I say, convinced that she has something to do with it.
Ava bursts out laughing and raises her cup to her lips.
She’s very well ! Believe me.
I’m stunned. I watch her sip her tea and nibble her cookie with this serene air that gets on my nerves.
Would you like me to believe you? YOU ? And why should I, in the first place? You’re the one who messed with his head! Who convinced her not to come see me anymore!
I lose my temper, already regretting having come. What monstrous stupidity!
Ever, I know you’re angry and you miss her terribly, but do you have any idea what she sacrificed to stay with you?
I see through the window the garden, a fountain, flowers, a small statue of Buddha, and prepare myself for a stupid answer.
Eternity, she adds.
Ah good ? As if she doesn’t have all the time she wants!
I’m talking to you about something more than time.
Yes ? What for example ?
I’d better put down my cup and run away. Ava is completely crazy, she lies shamelessly.
If Riley stays with you, that means she can’t be with them.
With whom ?
Your parents and Caramel, she specifies, running her finger along the edge of her cup.
But how do you…?
Come on, Ever, it’s clear, right?
Ridiculous, I say, looking down, unable to understand what Riley sees in this woman.
She brushes a strand of hair from her face, revealing a smooth forehead, without a single wrinkle.
You think ?
I look into her eyes and think: we’re going to have a good laugh.
All right. Since you know everything, tell me where Riley spends her time when she’s not with me!
“It floats,” she replies, taking another sip of tea.
Does it float? Do you see that! Instead, admit that you don’t know anything about it.
She has no choice, as long as she chose to stay with you. Your sister didn’t cross the bridge.
I look away, thinking that she can’t be right: impossible.
It’s not true, I saw it. She even waved goodbye to me
hand. They all said goodbye to me. I know, I was there.
Ever, I don’t doubt what you saw. But Riley is not
reached the other side. She stopped in the middle and did a U-turn to find you.
Sorry, but that’s not true.
My heart beats like breaking when I think about the last moment: the smiles, the goodbye gestures, and then… nothing. They disappeared while I struggled and begged to stay. They were taken away, and I didn’t move. It’s entirely my fault. I should have been in their place. I am always responsible for the misfortunes that happen to others.
Riley turned around at the last second, while
no one was looking at it, and that your parents and Caramel had already crossed. She told me, Ever, we talked about it several times. Your parents passed through, you came back to life, and Riley found herself stuck. And now she’s visiting you and old neighbors and friends, plus a few celebrities, she adds with a laugh.
You are aware ?
Yes. This is normal, but most grounded minds get over it.
get tired quickly.
Spirits what?
Rooted, ghosts that roam the Earth, if you like. They are different from those who really crossed over.
So you’re telling me that Riley is stuck between two worlds?
Yes, and it’s up to you to convince her to leave.
I look at Ava accusingly, like it’s her fault. Which is the case, by the way.
She’s leaving. She almost never comes to see me anymore.
You have to encourage him, make him understand that you are ready.
I’m getting tired of Ava meddling in my affairs and telling me how to live my life.
Look, I came here for you to help me, not to tell you about my sister. If Riley wants to stay here, that’s her business. Just because she’s twelve doesn’t mean I can order her around. She’s quite stubborn, you know.
Hmm! It probably runs in the family, Ava jokes, looking at me over her cup.
I get up, tears in my eyes, my nerves in turmoil, my head in turmoil, determined to leave. I remember what my father told me
repeated: the key to any negotiation is to dare to walk away, whatever happens.
If you don’t want to help me, just tell me. Ava motions for me to sit back down.
Well, whatever you want. This is how you should go about it.
It’s dark when Ava walks me to the door. I must have lingered longer than I thought. I learned to enter meditation little by little to anchor myself firmly in reality and forge a sort of psychic shield. It wasn’t easy at first, especially when it came to Riley, but I didn’t
don’t regret coming. It’s the first time since
long as I feel normal, without needing crutches like Damen or alcohol.
I thank Ava once again before leaving her. She is
bathed in the soft light of the porch now that its aura has disappeared from my eyes.
Ever? she says, just as I’m about to get into the car. You should let me show you how to deactivate the shield. You might miss your psychic powers, adds-
her in a persuasive tone.
We have already talked about that. I made my decision, and it didn’t work for me.
won’t change your mind. Long live normal life, and goodbye to immortality, Damen, Perpetual Summer, clairvoyance and the rest. Since the accident, I only want one thing, to go back to the way I was before. So, now that I have arrived, I intend to take advantage of it.
I shake my head as I put the key in the ignition.
Ever, please think about what I told you. I think you are wrong. You said goodbye to the wrong person.
I can’t wait to come home to a taste of my new life.
What do you want to talk about ?
You know very well what I’m talking about.
