When I wake up, I am lying in bed and find my aunt leaning over me. An expression of intense relief is painted on his face while worry clouds his thoughts. She forces herself to smile.
Hi ! You had a great weekend, it looks like, right?
I blink, look at her, then check my alarm before jumping out of bed when I realize the time.
Are you okay, Ever? Sabine insists. You were already asleep when I came home last night. Are you not sick, at least?
I step into the shower, not really knowing what to say. I do not
don’t feel sick, but I don’t understand how I could sleep
as long as.
Is there anything I should know? You have some
things to tell me? she continues, standing in the doorway.
I close my eyes and replay the movie from the weekend: the beach, Evangeline, Damen who slept here and prepared dinner for me, then breakfast…
No, nothing, I said.
Good. You better hurry up if you don’t want to be late. Are you really sure you’re okay?
But yes.
I try to look calm, innocent and confident, but when I turn on the tap and slide under the hot jet, I’m not sure if I’m lying or telling the truth.
On the way to school, Miles only talks about Eric. He tells me in detail about their breakup via text dating back to Sunday evening, trying to convince me that he doesn’t care at all and that he has already forgotten the very existence of his ex-boyfriend, which proves the opposite.
Are you listening to me, at least? he says, with a sullen expression.
Of course.
I stop at a red light, two blocks from the school. I try
in vain to remember the events of the weekend, but I always stumble over Sunday breakfast. No matter what I do,
I can’t remember what happened next.
I’d like to believe you, Miles says with a grimace, looking out the window. Seriously, tell me if I get you drunk, because
that Eric, deep down, is ancient history. I already told you about the time when…
Miles, have you talked to Haven lately? I said before the light turned green again.
No and you ?
I start, not really understanding why just saying my friend’s name gives me goosebumps.
I do not believe.
Miles turns in his seat and looks at me with wide eyes.
What do you mean, don’t you think so?
Not since Friday.
In the parking lot, my heart races when I see Damen waiting for me in his usual place, leaning against his car.
Say, there is at least one who has a chance of living
“I’m happy and have lots of children,” Miles comments, nodding to Damen, who opens the door for me, a red tulip in his hand.
Hello, he said, all smiles.
He hands me the flower and kisses me on the cheek, to which I respond with an incomprehensible mumble as I rush towards the gate.
The bell rings, while Miles gallops away to his class. Damen takes my hand and steps aside for me
let in first. We pass by Stacia’s table, who gives me a murderous look, extends her leg intending to trip me, but bends it back at the last moment.
Mr. Robins won’t be long, Damen whispers, urging me on.
fingers. He’s given up on the hooch and is trying to win back his wife’s heart.
He smiles in my ear as I take a step away from him.
I sit in my seat and take out my books, without knowing why the presence of my boyfriend next to me makes me strangely uncomfortable. I dip my fingers into the inside pocket of my
sweatshirt and suppress a gagging when I realize I left my iPod at home.
I’m here now, you don’t need it anymore, Damen whispers, stroking my hand with his fingertips.
I close my eyes and assume that Mr. Robins will arrive in three, two, one…
Ever, are you okay? Damen whispers, lightly massaging my wrist.
I nod yes.
So much the better. I had an awesome weekend. You too, I hope?
I open my eyes as our teacher enters. His eyes are a little less red and his face less puffy than usual, even if his hands are still shaking a little.
We had fun yesterday, didn’t we?
I turn my head towards Damen and consider him for a long time. Her
hand on mine gives me goosebumps, and I nod because I know that’s the answer he’s waiting for. But I
ask if it’s true.
The next hours pass in a total blur, and it’s not
It was only at lunch that I finally learned of the events of the day before.
It’s hard to believe that you entered the water in this cold! Miles exclaims, stirring his yogurt.
Don’t worry, we’re not crazy, we had wetsuits. By the way, Ever, you forgot yours at my house.
I unwrap my sandwich. I have no memory of it. Besides, I don’t think I have a wetsuit. Unless what if?
Um… wasn’t it Friday? I say, blushing as the events of that day come back to me clearly.
No, Friday I went surfing. Alone. It was Sunday that I gave you your first lesson.
I remove the crust from my bread, trying to remember this lesson, but it’s to no avail.
So, is she doing well? Miles asks, licking his spoon.
In fact, there weren’t that many waves, so we
Didn’t surf much. We stayed most of the
time under blankets, on the beach. And there, she doesn’t manage
bad,” he says, giggling.
I wonder whether or not I had kept my wetsuit under these
famous covers, if anything happened, and if so, what exactly. Is it possible that I did something that I then banished the memory of from my memory?
Miles looks at me questioningly, but I just shrug and bite into my sandwich.
Which beach were you on?
Not knowing anything about it, I turn to Damen, who responds while sipping his red thing.
Crystal Cove.
Miles rolls his eyes.
Oh no ! Don’t tell me you’re becoming
one of those couples where the man speaks for two. Reassure me, he doesn’t order for you at the restaurant? No, Ever, I’m asking you, Miles continued before Damen could.
respond.
I think back to our two meals at the restaurant, the first during this superb day at Disneyland which ended so
singularly, and the second at the racecourse, when he won
this fabulous sum.
Don’t worry, I know how to order at a restaurant by myself, like a grown-up. By the way, can I borrow your cell phone? He takes it out of his pocket and passes it to me.
Did you forget your phone?
Yes, and I would like to send a message to Haven for news. I don’t know why, but I have a strange feeling. I can’t stop thinking about her.
I don’t really understand it myself and even less see how I could explain it to them. I start to type my message when Miles intervenes.
She’s at home, she has the flu or something. And
then she is stunned again, because of Evangeline. But she swore to me that she wasn’t mad at us anymore.
I thought you hadn’t spoken to him again?
I frown, sure of what he said to me in the car.
I texted him during history class.
I look at him anxiously and I get a strange knot in my stomach, without explaining why.
So she’s okay?
She’s vomiting guts and guts, and she’s mourned the loss of her friend, but other than that, yes, she’s not too bad.
I give Miles his phone back. No need to bother her if she doesn’t feel well. Damen puts his hand on my knee, Miles
starts talking to us again about Eric, and I finish my sandwich as best I can, smiling and nodding my head rhythmically, unable to get rid of this strange uneasiness that sticks to my skin.
While Damen has decided not to skip school, this is precisely the day I wish I hadn’t seen him. At the end of each class, I find him waiting at the door to check on me with a worried look. It’s exhausting, I find.
After art time, when he asks me if he can come home and walk me to my car, I answer without hesitation:
Um… I want to be a little alone, if you don’t mind.
Are you sure you’re okay? he asks for the hundred thousandth time. I get into my car, eager to close the door and put some distance between us.
But yes. I have a lot to catch up on, that’s all. So see you tomorrow, okay?
And, without giving him time to respond, I put the car in reverse and leave the parking lot.
When I got home, I was so tired that I
collapse on my bed, intending to take a little nap before Sabine returns, who will start worrying about me again. But when I wake up in the middle of the night, my heart pounding and my clothes soaked with sweat, I am certain that I am not
alone in my room.
I grab my pillow and hug it to me, as if these
Downy feathers could serve as a shield for me, peering into the darkness around me.
Riley? I say quietly, even though I’m pretty sure she’s not my sister.
I hold my breath and hear a muffled sound, a bit like slippers sliding on a carpet, near the glass doors.
Damn? I said in a whisper.
I search the night, but can distinguish nothing but a slight rustling.
I grope for the switch, squinting in the
Raw light. I was so sure I wasn’t alone as I am
almost disappointed to see that the room is empty.
Still clinging to my pillow, I get up to
lock the bay windows. Then I check my closet and under my bed, the way my dad checked for monsters when I was little, ages ago. Finding nothing, I went back to bed wondering if I had dreamed.
Then I remember: I was running in a dark and windy canyon, wearing a thin white dress that did not protect me well.
against the cold, an icy breeze stinging my skin and penetrating me to the bones. However, I barely noticed the cold, so concentrated was I on my run, barefoot on the damp and muddy ground, towards a refuge shrouded in mist, that I
I could barely see a light that was faintly glowing. His back turned to Damen.
