WEDNESDAY NIGHT.ย HIGH TIME.
โHello, Mummy,โ I said. I heard my own voice โ it sounded flat, emotionless.
โHow did you know?โ Sharp. Irritated. โItโsย alwaysย you, Mummy,โ I said.
โCheeky! Donโt be insolent, Eleanor. It doesnโt suit you. Mummy doesnโt like naughty girls who talk back, you know that.โ
Old ground, this โ a reprimand Iโd heard so many times before. โI donโt really care what you like any more, Mummy,โ I said.
I heard her snort; short, derisive.
โOh dear. Someoneโs in a strop. What is it โ time of the month?ย Hormones, darling? Or something else โฆ let me see. Has someone been filling your head with nonsense? Telling lies about me? How many times have I warned you about that? Mummy isnโtโโ
I interrupted. โMummy, Iโm going to say goodbye to you tonight.โ
She laughed. โGoodbye? But thatโs so โฆ final, darling. Thereโs no need for that, come along now. What would you do without our little chats? What about your special project โ donโt you think you ought to keep Mummy updated on your progress, at least?โ
โThe project wasnโt the answer, Mummy. It was wrong of you, very wrong of you, to tell me that it was,โ I said, not sad, not happy, just stating facts.
She laughed. โIt wasย yourย idea, as I recall, darling. I merely โฆ cheered you on from the sidelines. Thatโs what a supportive Mummy would do, isnโt it?โ
I thought about this. Supportive. Supportive meant โฆ what did it mean? It meant caring about my welfare, it meant wanting the best for me. It meant laundering my soiled sheets and making sure I got home safely and buying me a ridiculous balloon when I was feeling sad. I had no desire to recount a list of her failings, her wrongdoings, to describe
the horrors of the life weโd led back then or to go over the things sheโd done and not done to Marianne, to me. There was no point now.
โYou set fire to the house while Marianne and I were asleep inside. She died in there. I wouldnโt exactly call that supportive,โ I said, trying my best to keep my voice calm, not entirely succeeding.
โSomeoneย hasย been telling you lies โ I knew it!โ she said, triumph in her voice. She spoke brightly, full of enthusiasm. โLook, what I did, darling โ anyone would have done the same thing in my situation. Itโs like I told you: if something needs to change, change it! Of course, there will be inconveniences along the way โฆ you simply have to deal with them, and not worry too much about the consequences.โ
She sounded happy, glad to be dispensing advice. She was, I realized, talking about killing us, Marianne and me, herย inconveniences. In a strange way, it helped.
I took a breath, although I didnโt really need to.
โGoodbye, Mummy,โ I said. The last word. My voice was firm, measured, certain. I wasnโt sad. I was sure. And, underneath it all, like an embryo forming โ tiny, so tiny, barely a cluster of cells, the heartbeat as small as the head of a pin, there I was. Eleanor Oliphant.
And, just like that, Mummy was gone.