โIย HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!โย Iย MOANED TO MYSELF.
Every item of clothing I owned was strewn across my bed; my drawers and closets were bare. I stared into the empty recesses, willing something suitable to appear.
My khaki skirt lay over the back of the rocking chair, waiting for me to discover something that went with it just exactly right. Something that would make me look beautiful and grown up. Something that saidย special occasion.ย I was coming up empty.
It was almost time to go, and I was still wearing my favorite old sweats. Unless I could find something better here โ and the odds werenโt looking good at this point โ I was going to graduate in them.
I scowled at the pile of clothes on my bed.
The kicker was that I knew exactly what I would have worn if it were still available โ my kidnapped red blouse. I punched the wall with my good hand.
โStupid, thieving, annoying vampire!โ I growled. โWhat did I do?โ Alice demanded.
She was leaning casually beside the open window as if sheโd been there the whole time.
โKnock, knock,โ she added with a grin.
โIs it really so hard to wait for me to get the door?โ
She threw a flat, white box onto my bed. โIโm just passing through. I thought you might need something to wear.โ
I looked at the big package lying on top of my unsatisfying wardrobe and grimaced.
โAdmit it,โ Alice said. โIโm a lifesaver.โ
โYouโre a lifesaver,โ I muttered. โThanks.โ
โWell, itโs nice to get something right for a change. You donโt know how irritating it is โ missing things the way I have been. I feel so useless. So . . . normal.โ She cringed in horror of the word.
โI canโt imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh.โ
She laughed. โWell, at least this makes up for missing your annoying thief โ now I just have to figure out what Iโm not seeing in Seattle.โ
When she said the words that way โ putting the two situations together in one sentence โ right then it clicked. The elusive something that had been bothering me for days, the important connection that I couldnโt quite put together, suddenly became clear. I stared at her, my face frozen with whatever expression was already in place.
โArenโt you going to open it?โ she asked. She sighed when I didnโt move immediately, and tugged the top of the box off herself. She pulled something out and held it up, but I couldnโt concentrate on what it was. โPretty, donโt you think? I picked blue, because I know itโs Edwardโs favorite on you.โ
I wasnโt listening.
โItโs the same,โ I whispered.
โWhat is?โ she demanded. โYou donโt have anything like this. For crying out loud, you only own one skirt!โ
โNo, Alice! Forget the clothes, listen!โ
โYou donโt like it?โ Aliceโs face clouded with disappointment.
โListen, Alice, donโt you see? Itโs theย same! The one who broke in and stole my things, and the new vampires in Seattle. Theyโre together!โ
The clothes slipped from her fingers and fell back into the box.
Alice focused now, her voice suddenly sharp. โWhy do you think that?โ
โRemember what Edward said? About someone using the holes in your vision to keep you from seeing the newborns? And then what you said before, about the timing being too perfect โ how careful my thief was to make no contact, as if he knew you would see that. I think you were right, Alice, I think he did know. I think he was using those holes, too. And what are the odds thatย twoย different people not only know enough about you to do that, but also decided to do it at exactly the same time? No way. Itโs one
person. The same one. The one who is making the army is the one who stole my scent.โ
Alice wasnโt accustomed to being taking by surprise. She froze, and was still for so long that I started counting in my head as I waited. She didnโt move for two minutes straight. Then her eyes refocused on me.
โYouโre right,โ she said in a hollow tone. โOf course youโre right. And when you put it that way โ
โEdward had it wrong,โ I whispered. โIt was a test . . . to see if it would work. If he could get in and out safely as long as he didnโt do anything you would be watching out for. Like trying to kill me. . . . And he didnโt take my things to prove heโd found me. He stole my scent . . . so thatย othersย could find me.โ
Her eyes were wide with shock. I was right, and I could see that she knew it, too.
โOh, no,โ she mouthed.
I was through expecting my emotions to make sense anymore. As I processed the fact that someone had created an army of vampires โ the army that had gruesomely murdered dozens of people in Seattle โ for the express purpose of destroyingย me,ย I felt a spasm of relief.
Part of it was finally solving that irritating feeling that I was missing something vital.
But the larger part was something else entirely.
โWell,โ I whispered, โeveryone can relax. Nobodyโs trying to exterminate the Cullens after all.โ
โIf you think that one thing has changed, youโre absolutely wrong,โ Alice said through her teeth. โIf someone wants one of us, theyโre going to have to go through the rest of us to get to her.โ
โThanks, Alice. But at least we know what theyโre really after. That has to help.โ
โMaybe,โ she muttered. She started pacing back and forth across my room.
Thud, thudย โ a fist hammered against my door. I jumped. Alice didnโt seem to notice.
โArenโt you ready yet? Weโre gonna be late!โ Charlie complained, sounding edgy. Charlie hated occasions about as much as I did. In his case, a lot of the problem was having to dress up.
โAlmost. Give me a minute,โ I said hoarsely.
He was quiet for half a second. โAre you crying?โ โNo. Iโm nervous. Go away.โ
I heard him clump down the stairs. โI have to go,โ Alice whispered.
โWhy?โ
โEdward is coming. If he hears this . . .โ
โGo, go!โ I urged immediately. Edward would go berserk when he knew. I couldnโt keep it from him for long, but maybe the graduation ceremony wasnโt the best time for his reaction.
โPut it on,โ Alice commanded as she flitted out the window. I did what she said, dressing in a daze.
Iโd been planning to do something more sophisticated with my hair, but time was up, so it hung straight and boring as on any other day. It didnโt matter. I didnโt bother to look in the mirror, so I had no idea how Aliceโs sweater and skirt ensemble worked. That didnโt matter, either. I threw the ugly yellow polyester graduation robe over my arm and hurried down the stairs.
โYou look nice,โ Charlie said, already gruff with suppressed emotion. โIs that new?โ
โYeah,โ I mumbled, trying to concentrate. โAlice gave it to me.
Thanks.โ
Edward arrived just a few minutes after his sister left. It wasnโt enough time for me to pull together a calm faรงade. But, since we were riding in the cruiser with Charlie, he never had a chance to ask me what was wrong.
Charlie had gotten stubborn last week when heโd learned that I was intending to ride with Edward to the graduation ceremony. And I could see his point โ parents should have some rights come graduation day. Iโd conceded with good grace, and Edward had cheerfully suggested that we all go together. Since Carlisle and Esme had no problem with this, Charlie couldnโt come up with a compelling objection; heโd agreed with poor grace. And now Edward rode in the backseat of my fatherโs police car, behind the fiberglass divider, with an amused expression โ probably due to my fatherโs amused expression, and the grin that widened every time Charlie stole a glance at Edward in his rearview mirror. Which almost certainly
meant that Charlie was imagining things that would get him in trouble with me if he said them out loud.
โAre you all right?โ Edward whispered when he helped me from the front seat in the school parking lot.
โNervous,โ I answered, and it wasnโt even a lie. โYou are so beautiful,โ he said.
He looked like he wanted to say more, but Charlie, in an obvious maneuver that he meant to be subtle, shrugged in between us and put his arm around my shoulders.
โAre you excited?โ he asked me. โNot really,โ I admitted.
โBella, this is a big deal. Youโre graduating from high school. Itโs the real world for you now. College. Living on your own. . . . Youโre not my little girl anymore.โ Charlie choked up a bit at the end.
โDad,โ I moaned. โPlease donโt get all weepy on me.โ โWhoโs weepy?โ he growled. โNow, why arenโt you excited?โ โI donโt know, Dad. I guess it hasnโt hit yet or something.โ
โItโs good that Alice is throwing this party. You need something to perk you up.โ
โSure. A partyโs exactly what I need.โ
Charlie laughed at my tone and squeezed my shoulders. Edward looked at the clouds, his face thoughtful.
My father had to leave us at the back door of the gym and go around to the main entrance with the rest of the parents.
It was pandemonium as Ms. Cope from the front office and Mr. Varner the math teacher tried to line everyone up alphabetically.
โUp front, Mr. Cullen,โ Mr. Varner barked at Edward. โHey, Bella!โ
I looked up to see Jessica Stanley waving at me from the back of the line with a smile on her face.
Edward kissed me quickly, sighed, and went to go stand with the Cโs. Alice wasnโt there. What was she going to do? Skip graduation? What poor timing on my part. I should have waited to figure things out until after this was over with.
โDown here, Bella!โ Jessica called again.
I walked down the line to take my place behind Jessica, mildly curious as to why she was suddenly so friendly. As I got closer, I saw Angela five people back, watching Jessica with the same curiosity.
Jess was babbling before I was in earshot.
โ. . . so amazing. I mean, it seems like we just met, and now weโre graduating together,โ she gushed. โCan you believe itโs over? I feel like screaming!โ
โSo do I,โ I muttered.
โThis is all just so incredible. Do you remember your first day here? We were friends, like, right away. From the first time we saw each other. Amazing. And now Iโm off to California and youโll be in Alaska and Iโm going to miss you so much! You have to promise that weโll get together sometimes! Iโm so glad youโre having a party. Thatโs perfect. Because we really havenโt spent much time together in a while and now weโre all leaving. โ
She droned on and on, and I was sure the sudden return of our friendship was due to graduation nostalgia and gratitude for the party invite, not that Iโd had anything to do with that. I paid attention as well as I could while I shrugged into my robe. And I found that I was glad that things could end on a good note with Jessica.
Because it was an ending, no matter what Eric, the valedictorian, had to say about commencement meaning โbeginningโ and all the rest of the trite nonsense. Maybe more for me than for the rest, but we were all leaving something behind us today.
It went so quickly. I felt like Iโd hit the fast forward button. Were we supposed to march quite that fast? And then Eric was speed talking in his nervousness, the words and phrases running together so they didnโt make sense anymore. Principal Greene started calling names, one after the other without a long enough pause between; the front row in the gymnasium was rushing to catch up. Poor Ms. Cope was all thumbs as she tried to give the principal the right diploma to hand to the right student.
I watched as Alice, suddenly appearing, danced across the stage to take hers, a look of deep concentration on her face. Edward followed behind, his expression confused, but not upset. Only the two of them could carry off the hideous yellow and still look the way they did. They stood out from the rest of the crowd, their beauty and grace otherworldly. I wondered how Iโd ever
fallen for their human farce. A couple of angels, standing there with wings intact, would be less conspicuous.
I heard Mr. Greene call my name and I rose from my chair, waiting for the line in front of me to move. I was conscious of cheering in the back of the gym, and I looked around to see Jacob pulling Charlie to his feet, both of them hooting in encouragement. I could just make out the top of Billyโs head beside Jakeโs elbow. I managed to throw them an approximation of a smile.
Mr. Greene finished with the list of names, and then continued to hand out diplomas with a sheepish grin as we filed past.
โCongratulations, Miss Stanley,โ he mumbled as Jess took hers. โCongratulations, Miss Swan,โ he mumbled to me, pressing the
diploma into my good hand. โThanks,โ I murmured. And that was it.
I went to stand next to Jessica with the assembled graduates. Jess was all red around the eyes, and she kept blotting her face with the sleeve of her robe. It took me a second to understand that she was crying.
Mr. Greene said something I didnโt hear, and everyone around me shouted and screamed. Yellow hats rained down. I pulled mine off, too late, and just let it fall to the ground.
โOh, Bella!โ Jess blubbered over the sudden roar of conversation. โI canโt believe weโre done.โ
โI canโt believe itโs all over,โ I mumbled.
She threw her arms around my neck. โYou have to promise we wonโt lose touch.โ
I hugged her back, feeling a little awkward as I dodged her request. โIโm so glad I know you, Jessica. It was a good two years.โ
โIt was,โ she sighed, and sniffed. Then she dropped her arms. โLauren!โ she squealed, waving over her head and pushing through the massed yellow gowns. Families were beginning to converge, pressing us tighter together.
I caught sight of Angela and Ben, but they were surrounded by their families. I would congratulate them later.
I craned my head, looking for Alice.
โCongratulations,โ Edward whispered in my ear, his arms winding around my waist. His voice was subdued; heโd been in no hurry for me to reach this particular milestone.
โUm, thanks.โ
โYou donโt look like youโre over the nerves yet,โ he noted. โNot quite yet.โ
โWhatโs left to worry about? The party? It wonโt be that horrible.โ โYouโre probably right.โ
โWho are you looking for?โ
My searching wasnโt quite as subtle as Iโd thought. โAlice โ where is she?โ
โShe ran out as soon as she had her diploma.โ
His voice took on a new tone. I looked up to see his confused expression as he stared toward the back door of the gym, and I made an impulse decision โ the kind I really should think twice about, but rarely did.
โWorrying about Alice?โ I asked.
โEr . . .โ He didnโt want to answer that.
โWhat was she thinking about, anyway? To keep you out, I mean.โ
His eyes flashed down to my face, and narrowed in suspicion. โShe was translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic, actually. When she finished that, she moved on to Korean sign language.โ
I laughed nervously. โI suppose thatย wouldย keep her head busy enough.โ
โYou know what sheโs hiding from me,โ he accused.
โSure.โ I smiled a weak smile. โIโm the one who came up with it.โ He waited, confused.
I looked around. Charlie would be on his way through the crowd now. โKnowing Alice,โ I whispered in a rush, โsheโll probably try to keep
this from you until after the party. But since Iโm all for the party being canceled โ well, donโt go berserk, regardless, okay? Itโs always better to know as much as possible. It has to help somehow.โ
โWhat are you talking about?โ
I saw Charlieโs head bob up over the other heads as he searched for me. He spotted me and waved.
โJust stay calm, okay?โ
He nodded once, his mouth a grim line.
In hurried whispers I explained my reasoning to him. โI think youโre wrong about things coming at us from all sides. I think itโs mostly coming at us from one side . . . and I think itโs coming at me, really. Itโs all connected, it has to be. Itโs just one person whoโs messing with Aliceโs visions. The stranger in my room was a test, to see if someone could get around her. Itโs got to be the same one who keeps changing his mind, and the newborns, and stealing my clothes โ all of it goes together. My scent is for them.โ
His face had turned so white that I had a hard time finishing.
โBut no oneโs coming for you, donโt you see? This is good โ Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one wants to hurt them!โ
His eyes were huge, wide with panic, dazed and horrified. He could see that I was right, just as Alice had.
I put my hand on his cheek. โCalm,โ I pleaded.
โBella!โ Charlie crowed, pushing his way past the close-packed families around us.
โCongratulations, baby!โ He was still yelling, even though he was right at my ear now. He wrapped his arms around me, ever so slyly shuffling Edward off to the side as he did so.
โThanks,โ I muttered, preoccupied by the expression on Edwardโs face. He still hadnโt gained control. His hands were halfway extended toward me, like he was about to grab me and make a run for it. Only slightly more in control of myself than he was, running didnโt seem like such a terrible idea to me.
โJacob and Billy had to take off โ did you see that they were here?โ Charlie asked, taking a step back, but keeping his hands on my shoulders. He had his back to Edward โ probably an effort to exclude him, but that was fine at the moment. Edwardโs mouth was hanging open, his eyes still wide with dread.
โYeah,โ I assured my father, trying to pay enough attention. โHeard them, too.โ
โIt was nice of them to show up,โ Charlie said. โMm-hmm.โ
Okay, so telling Edward had been a really bad idea. Alice was right to keep her thoughts clouded. I should have waited till we were alone
somewhere, maybe with the rest of his family. And nothing breakable close by โ like windows . . . cars . . . school buildings. His face brought back all my fear and then some. Though his expression was past the fear now โ it was pure fury that was suddenly plain on his features.
โSo where do you want to go out for dinner?โ Charlie asked. โThe skyโs the limit.โ
โI can cook.โ
โDonโt be silly. Do you want to go to the Lodge?โ he asked with an eager smile.
I did not particularly enjoy Charlieโs favorite restaurant, but, at this point, what was the difference? I wasnโt going to be able to eat anyway.
โSure, the Lodge, cool,โ I said.
Charlie smiled wider, and then sighed. He turned his head halfway toward Edward, without really looking at him.
โYou coming, too, Edward?โ
I stared at him, my eyes beseeching. Edward pulled his expression together just before Charlie turned to see why he hadnโt gotten an answer.
โNo, thank you,โ Edward said stiffly, his face hard and cold.
โDo you have plans with your parents?โ Charlie asked, a frown in his voice. Edward was always more polite than Charlie deserved; the sudden hostility surprised him.
โYes. If youโll excuse me. . . .โ Edward turned abruptly and stalked away through the dwindling crowd. He moved just a little bit too fast, too upset to keep up his usually perfect charade.
โWhat did I say?โ Charlie asked with a guilty expression.
โDonโt worry about it, Dad,โ I reassured him. โI donโt think itโs you.โ โAre you two fighting again?โ
โNobodyโs fighting. Mind your own business.โ โYouย areย my business.โ
I rolled my eyes. โLetโs go eat.โ
The Lodge was crowded. The place was, in my opinion, overpriced and tacky, but it was the only thing close to a formal restaurant in town, so it was always popular for events. I stared morosely at a depressed-looking stuffed elk head while Charlie ate prime rib and talked over the back of the seat to Tyler Crowleyโs parents. It was noisy โ everyone there had just
come from graduation, and most were chatting across the aisles and over the booth-tops like Charlie.
I had my back to the front windows, and I resisted the urge to turn around and search for the eyes I could feel on me now. I knew I wouldnโt be able to see anything. Just as I knew there was no chance that he would leave me unguarded, even for a second. Not after this.
Dinner dragged. Charlie, busy socializing, ate too slowly. I picked at my burger, stuffing pieces of it into my napkin when I was sure his attention was somewhere else. It all seemed to take a very long time, but when I looked at the clock โ which I did more often than necessary โ the hands hadnโt moved much.
Finally Charlie got his change back and put a tip on the table. I stood
up.
โIn a hurry?โ he asked me.
โI want to help Alice set things up,โ I claimed.
โOkay.โ He turned away from me to say goodnight to everyone. I went
out to wait by the cruiser.
I leaned against the passenger door, waiting for Charlie to drag himself away from the impromptu party. It was almost dark in the parking lot, the clouds so thick that there was no telling if the sun had set or not. The air felt heavy, like it was about to rain.
Something moved in the shadows.
My gasp turned into a sigh of relief as Edward appeared out of the gloom.
Without a word, he pulled me tightly against his chest. One cool hand found my chin, and pulled my face up so that he could press his hard lips to mine. I could feel the tension in his jaw.
โHow are you?โ I asked as soon as he let me breathe.
โNot so great,โ he murmured. โBut Iโve got a handle on myself. Iโm sorry that I lost it back there.โ
โMy fault. I should have waited to tell you.โ
โNo,โ he disagreed. โThis is something I needed to know. I canโt believe I didnโt see it!โ
โYouโve got a lot on your mind.โ โAnd you donโt?โ
He suddenly kissed me again, not letting me answer. He pulled away after just a second. โCharlieโs on his way.โ
โIโll have him drop me at your house.โ โIโll follow you there.โ
โThatโs not really necessary,โ I tried to say, but he was already gone.
โBella?โ Charlie called from the doorway of the restaurant, squinting into the darkness.
โIโm out here.โ
Charlie sauntered out to the car, muttering about impatience.
โSo, how do you feel?โ he asked me as we drove north along the highway. โItโs been a big day.โ
โI feel fine,โ I lied.
He laughed, seeing through me easily. โWorried about the party?โ he guessed.
โYeah,โ I lied again.
This time he didnโt notice. โYou were never one for the parties.โ โWonder where I got that from,โ I murmured.
Charlie chuckled. โWell, you look really nice. I wish Iโd thought to get you something. Sorry.โ
โDonโt be silly, Dad.โ
โItโs not silly. I feel like I donโt always do everything for you that I should.โ
โThatโs ridiculous. You do a fantastic job. Worldโs best dad. And . . .โ It wasnโt easy to talk about feelings with Charlie, but I persevered after clearing my throat. โAnd Iโm really glad I came to live with you, Dad. It was the best idea I ever had. So donโt worry โ youโre just experiencing post-graduation pessimism.โ
He snorted. โMaybe. But Iโm sure I slipped up in a few places. I mean, look at your hand!โ
I stared down blankly at my hands. My left hand rested lightly on the dark brace I rarely thought about. My broken knuckle didnโt hurt much anymore.
โI never thought I needed to teach you how to throw a punch. Guess I was wrong about that.โ
โI thought you were on Jacobโs side?โ
โNo matter what side Iโm on, if someone kisses you without your permission, you should be able to make your feelings clear without hurting yourself. You didnโt keep your thumb inside your fist, did you?โ
โNo, Dad. Thatโs kind of sweet in a weird way, but I donโt think lessons would have helped. Jacobโs head isย reallyย hard.โ
Charlie laughed. โHit him in the gut next time.โ โNext time?โ I asked incredulously.
โAw, donโt be too hard on the kid. Heโs young.โ โHeโs obnoxious.โ
โHeโs still your friend.โ
โI know.โ I sighed. โI donโt really know what the right thing to do here is, Dad.โ
Charlie nodded slowly. โYeah. The right thing isnโt always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So . . . good luck figuring that out.โ
โThanks,โ I muttered dryly.
Charlie laughed again, and then frowned. โIf this party gets too wild . .
. ,โ he began.
โDonโt worry about it, Dad. Carlisle and Esme are going to be there.
Iโm sure you can come, too, if you want.โ
Charlie grimaced as he squinted through the windshield into the night.
Charlie enjoyed a good party just about as much as I did.
โWhereโs the turnoff, again?โ he asked. โThey ought to clear out their drive โ itโs impossible to find in the dark.โ
โJust around the next bend, I think.โ I pursed my lips. โYou know, youโre right โ it is impossible to find. Alice said she put a map in the invitation, but even so, maybe everyone will get lost.โ I cheered up slightly at the idea.
โMaybe,โ Charlie said as the road curved to the east. โOr maybe not.โ The black velvet darkness was interrupted ahead, just where the
Cullensโ drive should be. Someone had wrapped the trees on either side in thousands of twinkle lights, impossible to miss.
โAlice,โ I said sourly.
โWow,โ Charlie said as we turned onto the drive. The two trees at the entry werenโt the only ones lit. Every twenty feet or so, another shining
beacon guided us toward the big white house. All the way โ all three miles of the way.
โShe doesnโt do things halfway, does she?โ Charlie mumbled in awe. โSure you donโt want to come in?โ
โExtremely sure. Have fun, kid.โ โThanks so much, Dad.โ
He was laughing to himself as I got out and shut the door. I watched him drive away, still grinning. With a sigh, I marched up the stairs to endure my party.