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Chapter no 36 – Harristan

Destroy the Day (Defy the Night, #3)

Even with Consul Beechingโ€™s intercession at the border, there are a lot of casualties. A lot of injuries. Worse, a lot of missing people. It takes days to sort through them all. Quint and Saethโ€™s family made it safely into Artis, but thereโ€™s been no sign of Thorinโ€”or Alice, the girl who tried to help him. Thereโ€™s been no sign of Violet, and no sign of Nook, the boy who helped when we faced the traitorous guards.

I know some people fled into the other sectors or went into hiding. The rebels were always rather skilled at going to ground and running from the night patrol, and this is no different. Rebel camps have been built along the river in Artis, just outside Sallisterโ€™s reach, and Consul Beechingโ€™s guards patrol night and day. There are occasional shouts of joy when people find their way here from where theyโ€™ve been hiding and families are reunited. But as days pass and Quint and Karri and I walk among them,ย accompanied by Beechingโ€™s guards, I know that there are many people who wonโ€™t be coming back at all.

By the fourth day, I ask Jonas for guards and horses and an armed escort back into the Wilds. I donโ€™t think Sallister would be brazen enough to attack another consulโ€™s peopleโ€”if the army remains at allโ€”and I need to see whatโ€™s left.

Jonas surprises me by joining us. We ride through the forest, and Iโ€™m struck by how deserted the area is. Iโ€™ve grown so used to the sounds of children playing, or men chopping wood, or women calling their families for dinner. Every house is deserted.

Iโ€™m dismayed to see that many of them have been torched and burned.

The soldiers were thorough.

We come to the small house that Quint and I shared for our last few days in the Wildsโ€”surprisingly untouchedโ€”and then the one that Saeth and his family sharedโ€”burned to the ground. A tiny stuffed doll lies in the mud about twenty feet from the door, and I recognize it as one I saw Ruby clutching. Saeth isnโ€™t with us, but I climb down from my horse to pluck it from the ground, then knock the dirt from it to tuck in my saddlebag.

As we ride on, I know weโ€™re going to come to the cellar where Sommer was kept, and Iโ€™ve been dreading it. I donโ€™t have any idea whether anyone would have released him during the panicked flight from the Wildsโ€”and it might have been reckless to do so. He might have helped our attackers.

But the thought that he might be lying dead in the cellar is almost too much to bear.

Quint must sense my sudden sorrow, because he reaches out and touches my hand, just the tiniest brush of his fingertips. Heโ€™sย grown very good at these small movements now that weโ€™re surrounded by people of grand importance again, even though I wouldnโ€™t mind larger ones. But I look up.

โ€œSommer,โ€ I say, and he nods.

Jonas hears the weight in my voice, and of course Iโ€™ve told him of the guards who tried to capture us. โ€œWhere was he held?โ€

I nod ahead. โ€œThis way.โ€

โ€œI can have my guards retrieve his body.โ€

I start to shake my headโ€”then think better of it and nod. โ€œWe can at least give him a burial.โ€

I hold my breath when they pull the cellar doors open, because itย hasย been several days, but instead of the stench of death, weโ€™re confronted by Nook and Violet, armed with pitchforks, blinking in the sunlight.

โ€œViolet!โ€ I say in surprise. I climb down from my horse. โ€œNook! What are you doing in theโ€”โ€

But I donโ€™t get any further than that because Violet tackles me with a hug. โ€œFox! Youโ€™re alive!โ€

Some of the consulsโ€™ guards move forward to remove her, but I lift a hand. โ€œItโ€™s all right. Violet, what are you doing here?โ€

โ€œWeโ€™ve been hiding! They keep sending the night patrol through, so we havenโ€™t been able to leave. We go out at night sometimes to scrounge for food, but no one searches the cellar, so weโ€™ve been staying down there. It sure wasย dark, I tell you. But weโ€™ve got candles now, and Wolf taught me all the card games he knowsโ€”โ€

โ€œWolf!โ€ I say in shock.

And then I realize more people are coming up from the cellar, just as dusty and worn as Violet and Nook. Alice, too. Then Thorin, his chest bound up in bandages. His entire frame sags in relief when he sees me. โ€œYour Majesty,โ€ he says.

Iโ€™m so relieved to seeย himย that I nearly give him the same greeting that Violet gave me. โ€œWolf,โ€ I say, extending a hand, and he smiles, reaching out to clasp it.

But then another man follows him out of the cellar, and I remember the reason we came to the cellar at all: Sommer.

Heโ€™s not bound anymore, and he looks from me to Thorin to the guards like he wonders if he should flee back down the steps.

Thorin grabs hold of his sleeve and drags him forward before he can. โ€œThe night we had to run, I knewย Iย couldnโ€™t go farโ€”and I knew Sommer was trapped down here anyway. I figured Iโ€™d wait it out and see what happened. Alice wouldnโ€™t leave me, so she hid down here, too. We could hear the soldiers and the fighting overhead, and I told him what was going on.โ€ He pauses, and his voice grows softer. โ€œIt became obvious when people were caught. Sommer told me to cut him loose. He said heโ€™d help.โ€ He pauses again. โ€œSo I did. And he did.โ€

I study them both. They look back at me, but itโ€™s Sommer who looks beseeching.

Eventually, I turn to Nook, and I remember the way the men had him participate in retaliating against Sommer for his role in what happened. His father was one of the men who was killed. He was just as affected as I was.

โ€œSommer is guilty of treason, Nook. Should we bring him back with us? Has he earned his freedom? Or should I leave him in the cellar?โ€

Nookโ€™s eyes widen, and he glances between me and Sommer. โ€œYouโ€™re leaving it up toย me?โ€ he says.

As soon as I hear him say it, I almost take it back. Heโ€™s barely sixteen years old, if heโ€™s even that.

But then I realize Corrick was even younger when I named him as Kingโ€™s Justice, and he had to do a lot worse.

I nod. โ€œYes. Iโ€™m leaving it up to you.โ€

Nook looks at Sommer. โ€œHe stabbed a soldier that was about to shoot me.โ€ He pauses. โ€œAnd he saved Violet, too. Weโ€™re even.โ€

โ€œAlso,โ€ Violet says, โ€œChickenseed isย reallyย bad at cards.โ€

I raise my eyebrows. โ€œChickenseed?โ€

Sommer heaves a sigh and looks at Nook. โ€œThank you for my lifeย andย my nickname.โ€

Alice giggles.

Thorin looks past me, seeming to realize for the first time that Consul Beeching is by my side, and weโ€™re backed by men who arenโ€™t palace guards. โ€œHave you reclaimed the Royal Sector?โ€

โ€œNot yet,โ€ I say.

On our ride back, Jonas indicates that he wants to speak privately with me, so we ride ahead of the group, leaving enough distance that we wonโ€™t be overheard.

โ€œThat girl adores you,โ€ he says to me. โ€œThatโ€™s part of why I agreed to help you, you know.โ€

I look at him. Jonas is older, older than my parents were, and he was never particularly close to themโ€”so heโ€™s never been particularly close to us either. Weโ€™ve never had a strained relationship, but of all the consuls, I know him the least well. Heโ€™s granted me a lot of assistance. Quite a bit more than I expected. He even sent food and sundries to the homes of my guards when I asked, when I fully expected him to balk at something that would so openly defy restrictions that have been put in place by others. Iโ€™ve been keenly aware that his helpย nowย will likely have ramificationsย later, like a debt to be repaid. So Iโ€™m not sure what to make of that comment.

โ€œYou just met her,โ€ I say.

โ€œIt doesnโ€™t matter. Iโ€™ve seen the way the people from the Wilds look at you when you walk among them. I think they wouldย allย hug you like that if they could.โ€ He pauses. โ€œWeโ€™ve all seen Arellaโ€™s proof, and itโ€™s rather convincing. I do believe your parents had devised quite the plan to fleece silver from the people, and they were working with Nathaniel Sallister and Lissa Marpetta to do it.โ€ He studies me in the sunlight. โ€œI do not, however, think that you or Prince Corrick had anything to do with it. In all honesty, I donโ€™t believe thereโ€™s anything Allisander Sallister can say to convince me otherwise. Unfortunately, he and some of the others refuse to yield inย theirย claims that you did. Iโ€™m worried about what that might mean for the future of Kandala.โ€

My spine goes cold when he says that.

Because heโ€™s ultimately talking about civil war.

โ€œWhy donโ€™tย youย believe Sallister?โ€ I say.

โ€œBecause despite your aloof demeanor, I simply donโ€™t believe you would be poisoning the people when you genuinely seem to care for them.โ€ He gestures at everyone following us. โ€œThat girlโ€™s reaction to your arrival spoke volumes. I saw you pick up that doll. I heard you consider burying your treasonous guard. And itโ€™s not just now. When you rejected my funding request for the bridge last month, it was obviously for the protection ofโ€”โ€

โ€œWhen I rejected your request,โ€ I say flatly, โ€œyou said I was heartless.โ€

He breaks off in surprise, then looks over, and I have no trouble holding his gaze.

โ€œDonโ€™t try to deny it,โ€ I say. โ€œI remember.โ€

โ€œYes, Your Majesty. I did say it.โ€ He lets out a breath. โ€œBut I wasnโ€™t talking about you. Orโ€”not entirely. I was angry. We trulyย doย need a bridge, and Sallister was accusing me of trying to manipulate my proposal for my own profit, when heโ€™s the one who is always after every coin.โ€ He grimaces and looks away. โ€œBut Iโ€™m ashamed to admit that when I reviewed my proposal later, I discovered that our engineersย hadย inflated the numbers. I still donโ€™t know if it was deliberate or an oversight, but you and Prince Corrick were right to reject it.โ€

Iโ€™m not sure what to say to this. We ride on in silence for a while.

Jonas eventually looks over. โ€œI simply donโ€™t believe their claims because if you were in on it, thereโ€™d be no reason for Sallister to stop. There wouldโ€™ve been no reason for you to risk your life in the sector on the day the rebels attacked the palace. There wouldโ€™ve been no reason for you to offer amnesty. You couldโ€™ve had the army kill the rebels. You couldโ€™ve had them kill usย all. But you didnโ€™t.โ€

โ€œI had no idea about the poison, Jonas. I wish I did.โ€ I swallow, and my throat is tight. I think about Quintโ€™s years of notes about all the ways Iโ€™ve tried to protect everyoneโ€”and all the ways Iโ€™ve failed. My brotherโ€™s years of doing horrific vicious things until he was broken and couldnโ€™t take it anymore. I think of all the loss and pain and suffering that my people endured. โ€œI would have stopped it the very instant I took the throne.โ€

โ€œI know,โ€ he says. โ€œAnd thatโ€™s what Iโ€™ve been telling Arella and Roydan. Theyโ€™ve requested to speak with you this evening.โ€

My shoulders immediately go tense as I remember the conversation I overheard. I know Sallister is working against me, but heโ€™s doing it in poor faith. Arella and Roydan are different. Theyย genuinely do have proof that points to the royal family, and Arella has always been openly critical of our methods to keep smuggling activity to a minimum.

They have no motivation to help me.

โ€œWhat did you tell them?โ€ I say.

โ€œI said I would ask if you were receiving visitors.โ€

So he allowed me the chance to refuseโ€”and to refuse privately.

I want to. Everything, as usual, is still so precarious.

But a refusal, I know, would imply guilt. I draw a slow breath. โ€œPlease send word that Iโ€™ll welcome their company.โ€

By the time Roydan and Arella arrive, Iโ€™ve spun myself into knots. Iโ€™ve asked Jonas for the room to be mostly empty of guards, because I donโ€™t want to heighten any tensions. I have Thorin and Saeth at the wall, with Quint seated beside me, his book and pencil ready. Iโ€™m so grateful for his presence, and I realize Iโ€™veย alwaysย been grateful for his presence.

Jonas didnโ€™t bring any guards of his own to the room, but Roydan and Arella did. A servant pours wine and tea and lays out a tray of pastries, and we all sip and stir and exchange pleasantries like this is a social visit, until Iโ€™m ready to explode from the pressure of it all. But they asked for this meeting, so I wait.

โ€œYour Majesty, I believe I should be direct,โ€ Arella finally says.

Do you really think thirty minutes of pleasantries could be considered direct?I want to say. But I donโ€™t.

โ€œPlease,โ€ I say.

โ€œJonas has been urging us to consider that you were unaware of the actions of your parents, specifically your father.โ€

โ€œI was,โ€ I say quietly. โ€œI donโ€™t have a way to prove it to you, but I was.โ€

โ€œYour penalties were always very harsh,โ€ she says. โ€œPrince Corrickโ€™s actions were never subtle. You know I have always been an outspoken advocate for change.โ€ She pauses. โ€œIt was alarming to hear rumors that the Kingโ€™s Justice was secretly moving among the populace as an outlaw himself.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ve heard those rumors,โ€ I say carefully.

โ€œSome people say he did that in an attempt to capture more of the people,โ€ she says. โ€œTo punish those who might have uncovered his wrongdoings.โ€

I look right back at her. โ€œI hope you know we have always heard your concerns, Arella. We may have been harsh, but I hope you believe that I have been fair. That my brother has been just.โ€ I pause. โ€œIf Prince Corrick was moving among the people as one of them, it wasnโ€™t to cause harm.โ€

Sheโ€™s quiet for a moment, studying me, but I meant every word, and I donโ€™t look away. โ€œWhen I discovered the shipping logs from Traderโ€™s Landing,โ€ she says, โ€œI wasnโ€™t sure what to believe. A tremendous amount of steel had been shipped to unknown cities over the course ofย decades, and there were notes from Consul Montague about side promises with unknown cities, as well as some correspondence with King Lucas that seems to indicate some argument over who would receive the greatest share of the profits. It wasnโ€™t until we found a note about the means to infuse the poisonous roots of the Moonflower into the water supply that we began to suspect the worst.โ€

โ€œOf me,โ€ I say.

She nods. โ€œYes.โ€ She pauses. โ€œSome of the correspondence is inconclusive, and with your parents dead, and Consul Montagueย dead, we may never have the full picture of it, Your Majesty. But youโ€™ve been removed from the throne and the poisoning has stopped, and word has begun to spread among the sectors. Itโ€™s rather damning.โ€

โ€œAs planned,โ€ I say evenly, though my stomach has formed a knot.

โ€œPossibly,โ€ she concedes. โ€œEspecially since some of the notes from Montagueโ€”and othersโ€”indicate some not-so-veiled threats on your life when you were a child, using this very same poison.โ€

Iโ€™ve gone still, and the silence in the room is thick. Even Quint, at my side, has stopped writing.

Jonas clears his throat. โ€œYour frequent illness as a child was never a secret,โ€ he says.

โ€œAnd as much as youโ€™ve tried to hide it as an adult,โ€ Arella adds, โ€œit was still obvious to those of us in your inner circle.โ€

She pulls a folded piece of parchment from under the table and slides it across to me.

Look what itโ€™s done to your son. This is what you want to do to your people.

โ€“Barnard

Iโ€™m frozen in place. Itโ€™s not proof of anythingโ€”but it also is. I think of all the times we visited Consul Montague when I was a child, or the times heโ€™d visit the palace. I try to remember if I felt more sickly then, but itโ€™s been too long. Thereโ€™s no way to know.

โ€œSo you think Barnard Montague tried to assassinate them toย stopย them?โ€ I say.

She exchanges a glance with Jonas and Roydan. โ€œThereโ€™s no way to be sure. And he wasnโ€™t without fault. He was clearlyย skimming profits from whatever trade deals heโ€™d made with Ostriary for steel. Some of those records go back to your grandfatherโ€™s reign. Possibly even older. Itโ€™s taken us weeks to go through everything. They hid the evidence well.โ€

โ€œFrom me as well,โ€ I say. โ€œI had no idea. Truly. I hope you believe me.โ€

She studies me for a long time, but itโ€™s Roydan who speaks, and he leans over and pats me on the hand like Iโ€™m a child. โ€œI do. You were dealt a rough hand. Youโ€™ve done your best.โ€

I look at him in surprise. Heโ€™s so old, and Iโ€™ve known him since . . . โ€‹well, since birth. I know he occasionally dotes on Corrick, but heโ€™s never really done it toย me.

Arella sighs. โ€œI do, too.โ€

I snap my head around to look at her.

โ€œI do,โ€ she says again. โ€œWhen I first discovered proof, it seemed obvious that this had been a long-running plot between you and Consul Sallister. Again, your penalties were so swift and brutal. Baron Pepperleafโ€™s daughter seemed to be an ally of the people, because she was so interested in Tessa Cadeโ€™s medicine. I shared my records with her, and she told me Captain Huxley had information on the king.โ€ She hesitates. โ€œBut as time has gone on . . . โ€‹ Iโ€™ve wondered if the opposite could be true. That Laurel Pepperleaf was interested in Miss Cadeโ€™s medicine because she was worried she would discover the truth about the poison. Because it has become clear that Captain Huxley has been on Consul Sallisterโ€™s payroll forย yearsย to feed him information about the king. Both Allisander and his father before him.โ€

The more I learn about Sallister, the more I want to seeย himย at the end of a rope. I turn my head. โ€œThorin, why did you and the rest of my guards close ranks against Captain Huxley?โ€

โ€œBecause he couldnโ€™t be trusted.โ€

Arellaโ€™s mouth forms a line.

I sit back in my chair. โ€œYou and Roydan have been quietly reviewing these shipping logs for quite some time now. When you suspected poison, you didnโ€™t consider coming to ask me directly?โ€

โ€œI should have,โ€ she says. โ€œAnd I wish I did. Because now Sallister has taken residence in the palace and heโ€™s practically sitting on the throne himself.โ€

I make a disgusted sound. โ€œI suppose Iโ€™m lucky I didnโ€™t find him sleeping in my bed.โ€

Her eyes flare. โ€œThatย wasย you!โ€

โ€œYes.โ€

She sighs and glances between me and Jonas. โ€œWell, as Jonas said, it has become clear that you couldnโ€™t have been poisoning the people. If you were in the palace, you surely noticed that the halls were empty. Most of the staff has resigned. Your personal guardโ€”โ€

โ€œI know what theyโ€™ve done to my personal guard,โ€ I say darkly.

She clears her throat. โ€œYes. Captain Huxley has maintained as many guards as he could, but nowhere near the number that once lined the halls. I wouldnโ€™t trust anyone who remains.โ€

โ€œI wouldnโ€™t either.โ€

โ€œAllisander may believe he has power now, but he does not have the support you once did.โ€

My eyebrows go up. โ€œSo are you saying that you will join Consul Beeching? You will support my claim to the throne?โ€

โ€œI will,โ€ Roydan says.

Arella nods. โ€œAs will I.โ€

Despite the relief in my heart, their voices carry the weight of unspoken dread, of more to say, and I hold my breath.

โ€œThere is more you need to know,โ€ Arella continues. โ€œAllisanderย still has the means to continue poisoning the people. He can spread it through the water and weaken the populace again, claiming that perhaps someoneย elseย is now working against Kandalaโ€”either Consul Beeching, or me, or even you yourself, as retaliation for his actions. When he heard we were coming to speak with you, he threatened to release more poison immediately. He controls access to the cure, so he could weaken our defenses while fortifying his own.โ€

My fist is tight against the table. At my side, Quint is writing furiously.

โ€œAllisander has also revealed that word has reached the palace that the lookouts at Port Karenin have spotted a ship in the ocean flying the Kandalan flag.โ€

Corrick.I gasp aloud. Quint snaps his head up.

Arella nods. โ€œIโ€™ve sent word to Sunkeep to verify the reports, but the ship will arrive before my runners will.โ€

My heart is pounding so hard in my chest. โ€œHow soon?โ€

โ€œWithin days. But Your Majesty, you mustโ€”โ€

โ€œDays!โ€ My brother is returning within days. My heart wants to explode with so many emotions. โ€œYouโ€™ve known this since we sat down?โ€ I demand.

โ€œI have.โ€ She lifts a placating hand. โ€œHis arrival will not be simple. Consul Sallister and Baron Pepperleaf have access to armed brigantines. Theyโ€™re prepared to destroy the ship upon arrival unless you surrender to them at dawn tomorrow.โ€

Every muscle in my body ices over.

โ€œArtis has ships,โ€ says Jonas. โ€œWe can attempt to form a blockade across the Queenโ€™s Riverโ€”โ€

โ€œAnd wage a cannon battle right here at the docks,โ€ I say. โ€œWeโ€™llย kill half the people we just rescued.โ€ I run a hand across my face. โ€œAnd heโ€™ll release his poison anyway.โ€

The room goes so still. So silent. I think of Violet springing out of that cellar to throw her arms around me.

โ€œSo I am to sacrifice myself or I am to sacrifice my brother,โ€ I say quietly.

She nods.

Itโ€™s no choice at all really. Cory has been sacrificing himself for me for years. I know what I have to do.

โ€œTell him Iโ€™ll surrender,โ€ I say.

The room erupts with protests. Jonas, my guards, even Arella and Roydan.

But not Quint. His eyes are dark and fixed on mine.

Because he knows. He knows I wonโ€™t be swayed from this.

He said it himself.

You love your brother so very,veryย much.

โ€œEnough,โ€ I say, and they fall silent. โ€œTell him.ย I will arrive at the palace at dawn. I will be alone. I want assurance that no brigantines will sail the river, and Jonas, I want your sailors patrolling twenty miles north and south of the docks to be sure of it. You tell Allisander that if we spotย one single sail, I will not appear. Those areย myย terms.โ€

Arella nods. โ€œYes, Your Majesty.โ€

I look at Jonas. โ€œI want my brother to arrive safely, and I expect you to honor your alliance with me and continue it with him.โ€

He stares at me, his eyes wide, but he nods as well. โ€œI will. I swear it.โ€

My heart wonโ€™t stop pounding. I look at Arella and Roydan. โ€œGo. I expect a report back by midnight that he accepts.โ€ Myย thoughts are spinning now, and I barely know what Iโ€™m saying. โ€œConsuls, if youโ€™ll excuse me, I need to spend the evening preparing.โ€

I donโ€™t even wait for a response to this; I simply stand and head for the door. Quint and the guards follow me, but my pulse is a thundering rush in my ears, so I have no idea if theyโ€™re speaking.

Despite everything, Iโ€™m somehow still shocked when Quint follows me right into my sleeping quarters. I brace my shoulders against the wall and run my hands through my hair and try not to scream.

He catches the door before it can slam shut, then eases it closed. He stops right in front of me and takes hold of my wrists.

โ€œBreathe,โ€ he says. โ€œYou donโ€™t have to go alone.โ€

โ€œI do,โ€ I say. โ€œIย do. Heโ€™s not going to imprison me. Heโ€™s going to hang me, Quint. Heโ€™s going to do it as publicly as possible. Heโ€™ll hang anyone who comes with me, youย knowย thatโ€”โ€

โ€œI do know that.โ€ His voice is so quiet, his hands so gentle against my wrists. โ€œIโ€™ll go with you.โ€

I stare into his eyes. I wasted so much time.

โ€œTell me what you need,โ€ he whispers.

โ€œI need you to stay,โ€ I say, and my voice breaks. โ€œI need you to stay for Corrick.โ€ Quint is shaking his head, and I add, โ€œYou told me you would deny me nothing, Quint.โ€

He goes still. He sighs.

โ€œPlease,โ€ I say. โ€œPlease.โ€ I swallow tightly, and it hurts. โ€œItโ€”it would help me to know that my brother wasnโ€™t alone.โ€

Quint stares back at me, and finally, he nods. โ€œYes, Your Majesty.โ€

Out of anything he could say,ย thatย jars me out of my emotion for a fraction of a second. โ€œOh, for goodnessโ€™ sake, Quint,ย still?โ€

He blinks, and I realize his eyes are gleaming with tears. โ€œBut this is the most regal thing youโ€™ve ever done.โ€

โ€œLord.โ€ I press a thumb to his cheek and brush away the first tear that dares to fall. โ€œNo tears yet. If Iโ€™m going to die at dawn, thereโ€™s work to be done.โ€

He blinks in surprise, then pulls his little book from his jacket. โ€œAll right. Go ahead.โ€

I take the book from his hands, but gently this time, no tussling. Then I kiss him softly. โ€œNo,โ€ I say. โ€œNo book, no notes.ย Youย rest.โ€

He frowns. โ€œYou know I wonโ€™t sleep.โ€

โ€œVery well.โ€ I step away, moving toward the desk in the corner of the room, which has been stocked with a rather impressive set of fountain pens and papers and an entire array of wax seals. โ€œTonight, itโ€™s my turn to write.โ€

I have so many things to say to Corrick, and my thoughts can barely contain them all. Heโ€™ll be returning to a country thatโ€™s still divided, on the brink of war yet again. Heโ€™ll have to rule. Heโ€™ll have toย lead. I tell him everything thatโ€™s transpired, but a lot of other things, too. A lot of things I wish Iโ€™d told him when he was here. A lot of things Iโ€™ll never have the chance to say.

Quint sits with me and writes a few letters of his own, but I keep going, well into the night, and eventually he does rest. Despite his promise not to sleep, he drifts off, too, his breathing slow and even.

I write on.

As I near the end, I look out the window at the darkness, thinking back on every moment I spent with my brother at my side. Every moment weโ€™ll never have again.

And it gives me an idea.

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