When I wake for the second time, light streams through the window over my bed. I canโt see the sun from the porthole, but the sky is bright, the shore so distant it could be an illusion. Waves glisten in the sunlight, the ship rocking along. I rub at my eyes and hope that my middle-of-the- night conversation with Rocco was all a dream, that Iโve slept straight through.
But it wasnโt.
How long was my brother suspicious of me? Only these last few months.
Months. And Harristan never said a word.
I shouldnโt be so upset about it. Honestly, he should have been suspicious of me forย years.
He left me in the Hold for an entire day. It makes me wonder if heโs put me on this ship to get me out of the way as efficiently as he did with Lochlan.
But he snuck into my carriage before I left. He all but threatened the captain.
He sent this jacket. I slide a finger along the lapel.
I wish I could talk to my brother. My throat threatens to tighten, but I breathe through it. Iโm being ridiculous. Iโm not a little boy.
I want to talk to Tessaโbut the irony is that Iโve closed that door, too.
My joints are sore from a poor night of sleep. Or maybe I truly am hungover this time. I should just go pick a fight with Lochlan and get it over with. Or that captain. Surely heโs around here somewhere. That might be more satisfying.
Perhaps Iโm just hungry.
All of these options require leaving my quarters. I find my pocket watch and discover itโs past midmorning. Very late for me. I should have asked one of the guards to wake me.
I wash my face, then take a good look in the mirror and realize I should spare a few minutes to shave, too. Itโs my first morning on board the ship. No sense looking how I feel.
I consider leaving that jacket in the trunk, but something about it keeps calling to me, so I buckle it into place again. By the time I emerge from my quarters, Iโm buttoned up and presentable, my tumultuous thoughts locked away. The Kingโs Justice, Cruel Corrick, ready to face the decisions of the day.
Kilbourne is down the hallway a bit, near the staircase, but he heads my way when he sees me. โYour Highness.โ
โKilbourne.โ I have no doubt that the guards have discussed every second of what has transpired over the last twelve hours, but theyโre too well disciplined to mention any of it to my face. Even still, as Kilbourne strides toward me, I remember my early morning conversation with Rocco.
Which one of you had a mark on me?
I wonder if it was Rocco himself.
These thoughts all war with each other as Kilbourne draws close and stands at attention. โI can give you the morningโs accounting,โ he says.
โGo ahead.โ
โSilas is above board with Lochlan and Tessa. Rocco retired at six. He will relieve one of us at midday, unless youโd rather I call for him sooner.โ
Lochlan.ย I remember the way he was looming over Tessa in the hallway. โLochlan and Tessa are above board together?โ
โI donโt know. Iโve been stationed in the hallway.โ
Because I was sleeping. I scowl. Iโm hungry and irritated, and I feel like Iโve completely lost control of everything in my life that matters.
And Iโm in the middle of the Queenโs River, hurtling toward โฆ who knows what.
โMiss Tessa awoke before Lochlan,โ Kilbourne continues. โI was able to see a bit of the main deck from the stairwell. She was climbing the rigging with Captain Blakemore early this morning, but now it seems most of the crew is awake. I donโt think sheโs in danger from Lochlan.โ
โWaitโdid you say she was climbing the rigging?โ
โYes, Your Highness.โ He pauses. โThey seemed to be in good spirits.โ
I scowl. I want to storm onto the deck and demand answers, but I know that will only reinforce the illusion that Iโm bothered by any of this.
What did Rocco say last night?ย Do your best to enjoy the journey. The longer they believe we are willing passengers, the more we can learn.
Fine. Kandala is most important. I can lock away my feelings. Iโve been doing it for years.
I tug my jacket straight and look at Kilbourne. I keep my voice light, as though I donโt have a care in the world. โSurely thereโs a kitchen on this ship. Do you know the way?โ
โI do.โ
โGood. Have you eaten? Iโm famished.โ
The kitchen is at the front of the ship, directly opposite our cabins and one deck lower. Thereโs an undercurrent of smoked fish and sour ale in the air as we approach, but above all that is the sweet warm scent of something baking. When we step through the doorway, I discover the โkitchenโ to be not much more than a set of ovens built into one wall, and a wide stove set into the other. No windows, so the space is overly warm, and sweat finds my brow almost immediately. Pots and pans and utensils are hung everywhere thereโs room, including over the tables and benches bolted to the floor.
A middle-aged woman is pulling a pan full of tiny loaves
out of one of the ovens, a stern expression on her face. A young girl sits nearby, chopping root vegetables at one of the tables. She canโt be more than seven years old, but she wields the knife with the precision of a surgeon. When her eyes fall on me and my guard, the knife goes still for a moment, but then she returns to her task without saying a word. A tiny line forms between her eyebrows, the shadow of a frown on her lips.
Splendid. I donโt know what Iโve done to aggravate a
child, but somehow Iโve accomplished it.
The woman sets the pan on a flour-speckled counter in front of her, then bobs a half-hearted curtsy. โYour Highness.โ She swipes at a sweat-damp forehead and barely glances at me. โLooking for some breakfast, I assume?โ
She sounds annoyed, too, and I frown.
No one talks to me like this in Kandala. Iโm not offended, not really, but it rattles my foundation. I donโt
know how to move forward. They canโtย allย be angry that Iโm not fawning all over their captain. We might need Moonflower, but heโs the one who came toย usย looking for steel.
โYes, in fact.โ I pause, wondering how soon Rocco will be awake and ready to eat. โFor my guards as well.โ
โI cleaned up from breakfast two hours ago. Iโm on to lunch now.โ
โLunch, then.โ
โItโll be ready in an hour.โ She pulls eggs from a cabinet and begins cracking them into a bowl. The little girl scowls at me and chops her vegetables with renewed vigor.
โAre you truly angry that I did not arrive on time for breakfast?โ
โAngry?โ She laughs, but thereโs no humor to it. More like she canโt imagine my audacity. โI have six extra people to feed. Iโmย busy.โ She starts whisking the eggs briskly.
I try to imagine Harristan being treated this way. I canโt even fathom it.
Then again, I canโt see my brother downing shots of brandy at three in the morning because heโd been spurned by a girl. Harristan would have been on time for breakfast.
I could seek the captain and complain, and heโd probably make her prepare me breakfast, but that wouldnโt endear me to anyone on the crew. It doesnโt seem like a good idea to alienate the cook. Iโm also certain heโd have a quip that would make me feel inadequate. No, thank you.
โWhatโs your name?โ I ask the woman.
โDabriel,โ she says. She nods at the girl. โThis here is Anya. She doesnโt like strangers.โ
She saysย strangersย as if we boarded the ship like pirates. The girl glances at me with shadowed eyes but says nothing. Her hands are swiftly slicing through the
vegetables, but I see a dozen scars lining her tiny forearms. Straight, clean lines that had to come from a blade.
โYour daughter?โ I say. โNot mine. Gwynโs.โ
Gwynโs.ย So this girl is Lieutenant Tagasโs daughter, the one Rocco said we could use as leverage. For a moment, Iโm struck by the brutal practicality of his suggestion. I thought he meant a younger member of the crew. I hadnโt realized he meant aย child.
As Kingโs Justice, Iโve been forced to do a lot of terrible things, but Iโve never harmed a child. Iโm sure there are rumors of me boiling children alive, but truly, I donโt have much interaction with children in any way at all. Some of it is due to my vicious reputation, and some is due to my brotherโs cool aloofness, but either way, children rarely grace our halls.
It was very different in the Wilds, when I could lose myself in the persona of Weston Lark. I knew dozens of families. Easily a hundred children.
I helped dig graves for some of them, when the medicine wasnโt enough.
Maybe Anya can sense my sudden disquiet, because the girl looks up, her dark eyes evaluating me. I shouldnโt be kind, in case Roccoโs warnings come to pass, but regret has already started eating at my gut.
โAre those for lunch?โ I say to her.
She hesitates, then shakes her head.
Then the vegetables sheโs chopping are obviously for dinner, but I say, โAh, so you must be preparing a meal for the fish, then. You throw them overboard? Get the fish nice and fat?โ
She looks at me like she canโt decide if Iโm crazy or stupid. Dabriel glances over, and itโs clear she probably thinks Iโm both.
Anya shakes her head again.
โYou feed them to the seagulls, then? I really donโt think seagulls like carrots.โ
A tiny smile begins to peek through. โTheyโre for
dinner,โ she whispers.
โWeโre having seagulls for dinner?โ I say, feigning horror.
That brings out the full smile. โNo! The carrots.โ โOh. Just carrots for dinner then.โ
โNotย justย carrots. I have potatoes, too.โ She spreads her hands as if I canโt see the neatly sliced vegetables on the table. โAnd Dabriel does the fish.โ
โOh. Youโreย the head cook. I should have known.โ I nod appraisingly. โYouโre very good with a knife. So obvious now. I should have askedย youย for breakfast.โ
She giggles, then holds up a piece of carrot. โHere.โ
โMy guard is very hungry, too. Could you slice it in half?โ
She laughs, full out, then holds out a second piece.
I take them both, then give her a nod. โYou have my deepest gratitude, Miss Anya. I promise not to be late for breakfast tomorrow.โ
She grins, but I turn away to extend a hand to Kilbourne, offering our โbreakfast.โ This timeย heย is the one whoโs looking at me as if Iโm crazy.
โClose your mouth, Kilbourne,โ I say.
He snaps his mouth shut, then takes one piece of carrot. โTake them both,โ I say to him as we turn for the
doorway. โItโs my fault you didnโt get to eat.โ โYour Highness,โ Dabriel calls from behind me.
I turn, and Iโm glad I have quick reflexes, because sheโs tossing an apple at meโand then a warm roll from the pan. โFor your guard, too,โ she says, and she tosses a second set. Kilbourne snatches them out of the air.
โMy thanks,โ he says to her. โMine, too,โ I add.
โJust donโt make a habit of it.โ She doesnโt smile.
But I do. Itโs a tiny win, and rather meaningless, really, but for the first time aboard this ship, I feel like Iโve done something right.