HALLE
HENRY TURNER KICKS MY ASS at gift giving.
Spinning to face him, I lift onto my toes to wrap my arms around his neck, burying my head in the curve of his shoulder. His arms circle my waist, hands linking at my lower back, holding me as tight as I’m holding him. “Are you stalling because you think your presents aren’t going to be as good as mine?… Ow. Don’t poke me.”
Leaning back, my hands cup the back of his neck. His hands travel farther down my body before stopping on my ass. “They’re not. I can tell you that right now. Lower your expectations signi1cantly.”
Henry grabs my upper thighs and lifts me high enough that he can throw me onto the bed. “It isn’t your fault I’m more thoughtful than you. Don’t worry about it.”
“Just open the damn presents before I cancel Christmas altogether.”
“Okay, Grinch.” He holds up his hands defensively, grinning. Henry reaches for one of the boxes and I sit up from the spot he threw me onto, crossing my legs to watch patiently. “Didn’t bother to draw on the wrapping paper? Okay, lazy.”
I throw one of the pillows from the bed at him but he dodges it with ease. He rips the brown paper oI, and I swear he goes slowly to get a reaction out of me. Finally, the brand comes into view, followed by the picture of the headphones I chose for him. “They’re noise canceling,” I explain. “I know you have some headphones already, but when I borrowed them that time to listen to an
audiobook, I realized how much noise they let in. These ones will shut everyone out if you need them to.”
“What do you mean, lower my expectations? This is amazing, Cap. I love not having to listen to people talk.” He looks genuinely thrilled as he examines the box. Then he 1nds the extra bit. “There’s a code stuck to it; do I need that?”
“Yeah, if you want to listen to the audio I made for you.” His head shoots up, looking right at me. “Audio?”
It felt a little unfair to me that I have something intimate between us and he doesn’t. But I’m also glad Henry said the only person who should have the one we made is me. I’ve listened to it a lot, and it’s really clear that it’s us from the talking. While I believe that Henry would never, ever share it with anyone, I still know that the smart thing to do is to protect myself 1rst. Even though I trust him not to betray me, there are so many other external factors that could go wrong.
This audio could be anyone, because the only name on it is his. “For when you miss me,” I say. “Open your other present.”
“Why? Are we not having a listening party?” I roll my eyes as I climb oI the bed. I start to collect the stray pieces of wrapping paper, putting them in the trash can beneath the desk.
“No, you can listen to it alone on your new headphones.”
I take my gifts and the headphone box—although he resists—and put them on the table, leaving the bed clear of everything but him and his 1nal gift.
He shakes it, and the nerves I’ve been suppressing all day erupt in me like a volcano. “It’s very light. Did you make me a recipe book, too?”
“I didn’t. I thought about it, but then I realized 1nding out you’re a naturally gifted chef would be annoying for me as a habitual food burner.”
He tears the 1rst strip of paper and I reach behind me to pull down the zipper on my dress. My hands are shaking, but it’s from excitement as much as anything else. He slides the box out, the brand name in bold red letters on the lid. Looking up at me with understanding, his eyes immediately follow my hands as I push each sleeve over my shoulders. “The lingerie isn’t in the box, is it?”
I shake my head as I push the dress down my stomach, revealing the delicate Roral and nude lace bra. It goes over the matching garter belt next, then over my
hips so he can see the matching thong until the dress slides down my thighs, revealing the straps to the stockings, and pools on the Roor. It’s exhilarating and nerve-racking, but I feel so pretty in it. Vulnerable, but pretty. “The lingerie isn’t in the box,” I say, my voice thankfully staying steady.
Henry climbs oI the side of the bed, walking around slowly until he’s standing right in front of me. He pushes my hair behind my shoulders gently, tucking any strays on my face behind my ears, then he takes the H and repositions it so it’s sitting perfectly on my chest. With his 1nger, he nudges my chin up to look at his face. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“I think that about you every day.”
Henry leans in slowly, his hands entwined with my hair as he kisses me gently, giving me the most ridiculous urge to pop my foot up like a cartoon character. Maybe it’s because when he touches me life feels too good to be real.
I unbutton his shirt until I reach the last one, and he only lets me go to shrug it oI before holding my face tenderly. His tongue moving against mine makes it harder to concentrate on undoing his belt, but I manage. My hand brushes against him as I pull his zipper down and he groans into my mouth.
The pants fall to the ground and he steps out of them, walking me backward until the backs of my thighs hit the edge of the bed. “I’m ready. I have some things in my bag that might help make it easier.”
“Ready?” he asks, tracing my jaw with the backs of his 1ngers. “Ready for what?”
“To have sex? The lingerie… I thought I was being obvious. I’m sorry…”
His eyes widen slightly, and he kisses me before saying anything at all. “Don’t apologize, Halle. It’s just good to say it so I don’t assume the wrong thing. Lie down and I’ll get the bag. You’ve clearly thought a lot about it to be so prepared. That makes me feel good. I’ve been scared of making you feel rushed.”
I’ve thought a lot about it, but I also con1ded in Cami that I was ready when she helped me after I decided I wanted to start taking birth control. She gave me a list of things to bring like my vibrator, lube, a towel in case I bleed, and condoms. It was her idea to wear the lingerie and give him the box.
I tuck myself under the covers and watch Henry grab the other things from my overnight bag. He places them on the bedside table and climbs in beside me. “You haven’t made me feel rushed. You’re so patient. I’m so grateful.”
Patient feels like an understatement. There was part of me that thought maybe he wasn’t interested because I’m not used to not being hounded about it. Then I realized no, this is just what it’s supposed to be like.
“I’m glad, but don’t be grateful for the bare minimum you deserve.” We lie on our sides facing each other, and Henry pulls me closer until our stomachs are touching. His forehead presses against mine. “We can stop if you change your mind, okay?”
“Henry,” I whisper. “Yeah?”
“You’re my best friend.”
His lips brush mine gently, sending sparks of electricity across my skin. “You’re my best friend, too.”
“Please be gentle.” It comes out so quietly I almost imagine I’ve said it until he answers me.
“I promise I will be.”
Henry grips my leg and pulls it over his hip. Rolling onto his back, he guides my body on top of him. With one hand on my ass and the other in my hair, he brings my mouth to his. It’s diIerent. It feels hotter and dirtier, his normal careful restraint gone, and he grinds himself into me. With my legs spread across him, I can feel how hard he is. My hips roll and he moans in a way that makes me throb. The friction is incredible even while we’re still wearing underwear.
Reaching to the bedside table, he grabs my vibrator and hands it to me. I sit up straight and he grips my hips. “Show me how you use it on yourself.”
I know my cheeks are heating up, but now isn’t the time to feel shy. “I normally lie on my back,” I say as I climb oI him and lie beside him. Unclipping the stockings, I start to take oI the thong. Henry moves in front of me, helping pull it down my legs until it’s removed completely. My heart is pounding as his hands rub up my shins to my knees. He pauses, watching my face carefully before slowly guiding my legs open. It’s as exhilarating as it is vulnerable. Putting the vibrator on the lowest setting, I lose myself to it while Henry kisses my neck,
chest, jaw. My hard nipples are poking against the lace, but he ignores them, focusing on all the other bits of me he has access to.
His 1ngers touch below the vibrator and my pulse soars. I nod at him desperately, eyes shutting tight when he slides a 1nger into me, then another.
“Touch me,” he says. His voice is gravelly in a way I haven’t heard before. I reach my free hand toward him, and he helps by moving his body into the right position for my hand to slip beneath the elasticated band of his boxers and close around him. “Oh fuck. That’s it, Halle. Grip it tight,” he groans.
Hearing him talk like that makes me shatter into a thousand tiny pieces so quickly that it surprises the both of us. I turn oI the vibrator as he removes his 1ngers, my own hand still wrapped around him, he looks at me with the biggest grin. “You like being told what to do in bed.”
I think about it before realizing he’s totally right. “I think it’s because I like not having to be in control of everything. I like not having to make the choices.”
“My sweet girl,” he says carefully. “I want to know everything about you.” It’s wild for me to realize that whenever I think of the 1rst time I ever had sex,
I won’t have to remember a time when I wasn’t ready with someone I didn’t truly want to be with. I’ll get to think of this moment, here with Henry, where he makes me feel as special as the whole night sky.
He holds my wrist at 1rst, guiding me up and down, focusing on the tip until I get it right and he lets go. He explores my body with his hands, brushing and touching, until he gets too close and tells me to stop what I’m doing.
When he reaches for the condoms, he also grabs the lube and towel. “I read online the 1rst time is easier from behind,” I say when he gets onto his knees to spread the towel across where our hips will be. “I don’t know, though… obviously.”
“Next time, let’s keep these on.” He directs me over the towel and starts rolling each stocking down my leg. The garter belt goes next, followed by my bra, until I’m totally naked with my legs spread open for him. I’ve wondered if I’d regret it when I got to this point, but as his eyes rake over me, dark and heavy, I realize there’s no chance. “You’re so perfect, Halle. I’ve dreamed about having you like this.”
“Henry…” It’s a moan and a plea, I don’t even know. I just want him.
“We can do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. But do you want to look at the pillow or the headboard? Or would you rather be looking up at my face the 1rst time I slide inside of you?”
I swallow so hard I swear it’s audible. My skin prickles. “I want to be looking up at your face.”
“Good. Because I want to see yours, too. Stay on your back to start, and we can try the other way if it’s not good. I’m going to make it good for you.”
“I had a sex dream about you once. Weeks ago, and I couldn’t look at you,” I admit, sort of frantically, while I watch him push down his boxers and roll on the condom. It’s so thick and heavy. I know biology is on my side and I’m designed to take it, but holy shit. “My subconscious hasn’t done you justice.”
“We’re going to revisit this conversation.” He looks so smug, and it truly makes me relieved I didn’t tell him at the time. “For now I’ll have to give your imagination a lot of material to work oI then.”
I love that we’re not rushing. At no point do I feel like I’ve been groped or pushed. But I really, desperately, borderline obsessively want him to put it in.
“Henry, please. I’m aching and my body feels a little like it’s going to burst into Rames.”
“And I’m supposed to be the impatient one.” He positions himself over me, lips pressed against mine as I feel him nudge into me. It’s unlike any sensation I’ve had before. “Oh shit, Halle. Fuck, you feel so good.” He kisses the corner of my mouth. “Are you okay?”
I nod, clinging to him desperately. “You’re bigger than your 1ngers.”
“I know, I know.” It almost sounds like an apology. “You’re so wet, though, it’ll get easier. Pass me your vibrator and take a deep breath to relax.”
He turns the vibrator back on to its lowest setting, wedging it between us against my clit, and my entire body trembles. He’s not hurting me; it’s just this mix of relief as the throb eases while still feeling stretched, and everything feels more intense.
I grip the vibrator so he can slide his hands back into my hair the way I like, and I wrap my legs around him, crossing them at the small of his back. The angle shifts something, and I watch his eyes roll back as he sinks even deeper.
His abs tighten, and when he looks back at me, there’s something in his gaze I can’t quite decipher, but I know I feel it too—whatever it is.
We fall into a rhythm, perfect and steady. Our bodies glisten with sweat as Henry’s mouth finds one nipple, then the other, sucking and teasing while his hips roll against mine. It’s almost too much. Almost too good.
My fingers dig into the hard muscles of his back, holding onto him like he’s the only thing anchoring me to the earth. He moves harder, deeper, the sound of our skin meeting mixing with his moans of my name. It all makes me come undone. My legs tighten around his hips, pushing him deeper with my feet. His face buries into my neck, kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin there. My back arches, pressing me against him as if I could somehow get closer.
His hips jerk and I feel him swell and twitch, sealing this whole thing.
I don’t want to let him go as he lies on top of me, the pair of us panting. There’s an almost emotional reaction bubbling to the surface, but this couldn’t have been more perfect.
“Are you okay?” he asks carefully, kissing my eyelids, then my nose, then my lips.
“I’m starting to get a little bit sore,” I admit, wincing when he pulls out even though he’s gentle.
“I’m going to run you a bath, okay?” he says.
I nod. “That would be nice.” I hate it when he climbs oI me, but I rationalize that at some point he does need to clean up and dispose of the condom. “Henry,” I yell as he rounds the corner toward the bathroom.
“Yes, Cap?”
“I wouldn’t have wanted it to be anyone other than you.”
There’s an almost bashful smile I haven’t seen before as he nods. “I feel the same.”
