HALLE
I’M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT that I’ve wondered what it would be like if Henry Turner ever kissed me.
My subconscious was kind enough to give me a more X-rated sneak peek a few weeks ago, but now that I have the real thing, I can con1dently report that my subconscious doesn’t know what it’s doing.
Both of my hands are gripping his shirt, clinging to him like if I don’t, he’ll disappear into a breeze. His hands are cupping my face, mouth working to leave me breathless and hot and pulsing between my thighs. This is what it’s supposed to feel like, I quickly decide.
The longing, the desperation, the desire to do something—anything—to ease
the aching.
The voice in my head saying, no, screaming that this feels right, me and him. “Halle,” he murmurs as he pulls back and rests his forehead on mine. The
smooth way my name rolls oI his tongue should be illegal. “Let’s go to bed.” “Let’s.”
“To sleep,” he adds.
Henry never needs to worry about not giving me enough new experiences because they happen all the time. Like right now, while I’m disappointed that he doesn’t want to go to bed and take this further. I can guarantee this has never happened before.
“Oh. Are you not…” Where was I going when I started this question? “Into it?
Wait, you don’t need to answer that. I wa—”
Moving his hands to my waist, Henry keeps me close to him as he walks me backward for the few steps it takes for my ass to hit the table. He presses his hips into me, and I get my answer. Feeling how hard he is and knowing I’m the reason makes me feel drunk.
“I’m into it,” he says, kissing me gently. “But we don’t need to rush anything.”
I nod in agreement, even though I’m not sure I do agree.
Taking his hand when he steps away, I let him lead me up to my bedroom. Every step reduces the lust-driven haze sitting like a cloud over my head, until we 1nally reach the top of the staircase and the logical Halle is back in control. For now.
“You need a box of stuI for your bathroom,” Henry says as I crouch beneath my sink, trying to 1nd the toiletries he used the 1rst time he stayed over unexpectedly. I put them somewhere safe in case he wanted to stay again, and now I can’t 1nd the safe place. I’ve never needed them, because he brings an overnight bag now, but with work, and Will, and… He’s taking oI his pants. “Halle?”
“Yeah?”
“Why do you look so shocked?”
Great question. He folds them over his arm, then again until they’re in the perfect little square, and then drops them onto the lid of my laundry basket. His 1ngers start on the shirt button and I get back to exploring under my sink. “I’m not.”
“Do you not want me to sleep in my underwear? I could sleep in my pa—” “No! You’re good. Underwear is 1ne. Underwear is great. I don’t want you to
be uncomfortable.” The 1rst time Henry stayed, when I fell asleep downstairs and he carried me to bed, when I woke up he was sleeping on top of the covers fully dressed. “There’s no dress code.”
“Is it seeing my thighs that’s making you act weird or is it because we kissed?” Henry does have very nice thighs. Arguably the nicest I’ve ever seen. After 1nally 1nding what I’m looking for, I stand with his toothbrush and washcloth,
putting them on his side of the unit. “It might be both.”
We look at each other through the bathroom mirror. Well, I watch as he strips oI his shirt and he watches me watch him with a smirk. Walking up behind me, he wraps his arms around my shoulders and kisses the sensitive point between my neck and shoulder. “Have a shower and process. Then come to bed with me.”
“Okay. Good idea.”
After kissing my temple, Henry collects his things and heads to the other bathroom, leaving me alone to “process” and shower. Choosing what I’m going to wear to bed takes longer than it should, but then the time it takes to deglitter myself does help and I’m glad I listened to him. Although even after dousing myself in cold water, the swollen and sensitive feeling between my legs remains.
“I grabbed you a bottle of water. And thanks for getting silk pillowcases,” Henry says as I exit my bathroom. He looks up from his phone as I close the door behind me. “Feel better?”
“Mm-hmm.”
He starts to say something then stops. I climb into bed beside him, putting my phone on the bedside table. He leans over me when I lie down, his bare chest inches from mine, and puts his phone next to mine. “Good night, Halle.”
As he hovers over me, and I don’t know where I 1nd the con1dence, I angle my body toward him and reach until my hands meet at the nape of his neck. My mouth angles up as his comes down. I feel less stunned this time around, more in the moment as his tongue moves against mine perfectly. Every single inch of my skin feels like it’s glowing as I spread my legs and he climbs between them.
His body is made up of masses of hard muscles and de1ned lines, but he holds himself above me like I’m too precious to touch, when all I want is to feel the weight of him between my legs. My hand traces down his back from his neck, and when my 1nger brushes along his spine gently he Rinches. “Firm touches,” he says, kissing my cheek. One by one, he takes my hands and puts them next to my head, weaving his 1ngers through mine to pin them there. “I don’t like being tickled or touched lightly.”
I nod to reassure him. “Got it.” With our hands intertwined, his body lowers onto mine. The pressure of him settled between my thighs does nothing but make the ache worse when I realize how hard he is again. My hips move against
him of their own volition; he moves against me until we’re rocking against each other, the thin fabrics separating us doing very little to dull the sensation.
“I haven’t felt like this with another person before,” I say when his mouth travels along my jaw and down my throat. It comes out more of a whimper, but it makes him pause.
“In a good way? Or do you want to stop?”
“A good way. I like you touching me. I’m not ready to go all the way, though.”
His hips stop moving but he stays on top of me. “Can you tell me what you’ve done before? Was it only with him?”
“Yeah, only him. I let him 1nger me twice and I gave him head a handful of times.”
“And did you enjoy it?” My face must do something weird because he kisses my cheek. “Be honest.”
“I didn’t like giving head, but it sort of wasn’t sexy when I’d been begged for it, and he was a bit rough. I’d try it again if you promised to be more patient, and gentle, I guess. I didn’t like him touching me, either, but I think I’m one of those people who can only get themselves oI.”
“He never made you come?”
While anyone else’s body on top of mine would make me feel trapped, having Henry so close to me while we have such an intimate conversation makes me feel safe. “No, but like I said, I think it’s me. I can do the same thing to myself and orgasm, but with him it wasn’t even close.”
“Is that what you do to yourself when you listen to people fucking on that app on your phone?”
There’s a satis1ed glint in his eyes when my lips part. “Yes.” “Can I make you come, Halle?”
I nod. “But don’t feel bad if you can’t.”
Kissing me again, he rocks his hips one last time, and it sends a lightning bolt up my spine. “I’m pretty con1dent about my chances. We’ll work it out together. Might take a little bit of time for us to get there, but we will.”
Henry unlocks our hands and climbs oI me, lying on his side next to me. I groan quietly in protest, but he silences it with a searing kiss. “Give me your cell
phone,” he says.
I pass it to him without objection. “Why?”
“So you have something better than strangers getting oI to listen to when you think about this.” After I unlock my screen, he clicks on the voice recorder app and places the phone on my stomach. “Show me how you want me to touch you, Halle.”
All the heat in my body rushes to my cheeks. Those ten words are enough for me to delete the Whimper app. “What about you?”
“Always thinking of others.” He smiles and leans toward me to kiss me slowly, reassuringly almost, but it’s not enough to stop the nerves vibrating through my system. “I want to watch you get what you want. Without distraction.”
Pushing my shorts down over my butt, Henry uses his free hand to help pull them oI, tossing them over the side of the bed. I’m grateful he convinced me to shower, otherwise he’d be admiring the pumpkin-themed panties I was wearing, instead of see-through lace ones.
My breathing feels so loud and it’s like my heartbeat is thumping in every bit of my body. “I’m nervous,” I whisper, laughing slightly because I want it so badly at the same time.
“If you change your mind or you don’t like it, just say stop,” he whispers back, running his hand along my thigh. “I only want to make you feel good.”
“I know. I trust you.” Taking his hand, I guide him beneath the lace. My breath hitches, my stomach tenses as his 1ngers brush against my clit. With my 1ngers over his, I apply the smallest amount of pressure and rub gently. “I like this.”
“What else do you like?” he murmurs, not taking his eyes oI me.
If the man wants me to give him some kind of coherent answer, he’s really going to need to stop looking at me like that. And touching me like that. And existing in the same universe as me, because he’s too distracting and my head is 1lled with nothing but heart eyes and cupids on clouds. But, like, the explicit version.
“I don’t know. I’ll know when you try it.”
Henry kisses me, his tongue moving against mine at the same time his 1nger rubs in the perfect rhythm. I take my hand away because he doesn’t need me to guide him. Every whimper, every heavy breath, every movement of my legs, he notices. My hands cup his face, his neck, his body. Anywhere I can touch to feel closer to him.
His hand dips lower as my back arches, my hips desperately trying to follow. He waits until I nod before he slips a 1nger inside of me. “You’re so wet, Halle. You’re soaking my hand.”
It’s amazing how something so personal would embarrass me normally, and yet with Henry, he makes it sound like praise. There’s a tightness building; everything feels so swollen and wet, and I can hear how wet as much as I can hear Henry telling me how pretty I look with my head thrown back. My body bucks against his hand, moans echo, eyes snap shut.
“You’re going to make me come,” I whimper through 1re sparking across my skin.
And, in the most Henry Turner way, he says four words. “I know. Do it.”
My thighs clamp shut around has hand as my orgasm rips through me. Shocking me as much as it overpowers me. I can’t believe I spent a year thinking only I could do this for myself. His mouth meets mine, taking in every moan of his name, never changing his rhythm until I’m too spent and too oversensitive and he stops, gently removing his hand.
He repositions my panties and pulls me in to his chest, kissing my forehead tenderly. “Was that charming enough for you?”
I nod. “Yeah, think you got the charm thing covered.”
“Fake your own death.”
I roll my eyes for the millionth time. “You sound like Aurora.”
“That’s a really cruel thing to say after I made you come last night. You should apologize by not going.”
“Can I add you bringing that up as a bargaining tool to our rule book?” I say, pulling my cardigan over my shoulders.
He pushes himself up to sit against my headboard, covers bunched around his waist like he’s on the cover of a romance book. “The board said no, sorry. Come here, Cap.”
“You need to get up and go back to your own house. I don’t trust you here alone, you’ll throw Quack Efron in the trash.”
“Halle,” he says again, holding out his hand. When I’m foolish enough to take it, he pulls me onto the bed, laughing.
“Was that necessary? You could have just asked.”
“Halle, will you please sit on my lap so I can look at you?” he says far too politely. I push myself up, and he navigates my leg across him until I’m straddling him. He pushes my hair from my face then rests his hands on my hips. “How do you feel?”
“Stressed that I’m going to be late to meet Cami and Aurora for breakfast because you wouldn’t let me get out of bed.” I tried really hard, honestly. But Henry climbed on top of me and kissed me and I just like the feeling of him on top of me. Then he apologized for being hard all the time and I asked if he wanted me to do something about it, but he questioned if I was oIering because I felt like it was only fair or if I wanted to.
When I said I felt bad that I got oI and he didn’t, he climbed oI me and explained in detail about why that was bullshit, and that sex isn’t for exchanging favors. I told him he sounded very wise, and he said he’d read it online. He followed it up with how he didn’t know why some men were so clueless when everything you need to know about sex is on the internet.
“You could have tried harder to get out of bed. And we both know Aurora and Cami won’t be on time.” His hands squeeze my hips and I do everything I can to stay still. “Are you okay after last night?”
I nod, probably a little too enthusiastically. “Very much okay. Are you okay?” “Need to jerk oI as soon as I get home, but yes, I’m good,” he says, lifting his hips up for me to feel how good he is. “You should password-protect that
recording.”
I know I’m blushing. “Do you want me to send it to you? It might help with your morning plans.”
His hands rub up and down the front of my thighs. I truly believe that with a bit more eIort on his part, he could convince me to stay. “Yes, but don’t. Only you should have it. I have the memory of you squeezing and riding my hand, so I’ll be 1ne.”
“I was about to say this is a very formal chat about something very informal, and then you talk,” I say, shaking my head. I feel like I’m in a meeting debrief, but I appreciate Henry checking. It’s more than Will ever did. Will couldn’t make me come, and now I realize he was never truly trying, so he shouldn’t be part of the conversation anyway. “But thank you for caring if I’m okay.”
“I’m down to show you how much I care anytime. I have multiple ideas of things you might like.”
Leaning forward slowly, I kiss him gently. “I’ll make space on my phone for the 1les.”
BY THE TIME I’M WALKING into Blaise’s diner, I’ve created at least three diIerent excuses for why I’m late.
Aurora and Cami are both sitting on the same side of the table, arms folded in the same way looking equally unimpressed. I wouldn’t have invited Aurora to breakfast if I’d known I was going to be ganged up on.
I slide into the red leather booth, poised to plead my innocence and oIer some half-assed excuse when Cami gasps. “You got laid last night!”
“What?” I say, voice squeaking. “No, I didn’t!”
“Then why are you glowing?” Aurora says, leaning in to look at me.
“Maybe it’s the body shimmer stuI from yesterday. Maybe I didn’t wash it all oI,” I say as they inspect me like I’m a zoo animal.
“Liar. You had that I had an amazing orgasm walk when you came in here. Is
that why you’re late?” Cami says. “Was it Henry?”
“Of course it was Henry,” Aurora says, sporting the widest grin I’ve ever seen. “Look at those pink cheeks. I want to know all the details, but also, it’s Henry, so I kind of don’t want to know all the details. Can you kinda 1lter the details speci1cally for me?”
“I want all the details. No 1lter, please,” Cami adds.
I shrug, because what else am I supposed to do? “There isn’t anything to tell.”
“Having integrity is no fun, Halle,” Aurora says, pouring me a glass of water and nudging it in my direction. “Can you at least tell us if you’re happy?”
“I’m happy.”
Cami fans me with her menu, which normally I’d question, but I can practically feel the heat radiating from my face. “And were you safe?”
“I honestly didn’t have sex last night, guys,” I say, lowering my voice so as not to disturb the other Blaise’s patrons with my recently established not-solo sex life. “I haven’t had sex ever, actually. But I’m happy, and I guess I do feel a little like I’m glowing.”
Aurora looks like I just won some kind of competition. “I’m so happy for you, but also, kind of grossed out because it’s Henry and it feels a bit like 1nding out my brother is doing it with my friend. But really happy for you! I bet he was sweet, right? He likes you so much. No wait, don’t tell me if he was sweet. I don’t want to know.”
“Ignore her, tell me if he was sweet,” Cami adds, leaning on her hand.
I know I’m blushing, but I also feel really good. “He was really sweet, and patient, and told me we didn’t need to rush because he knows I’m a virgin. You guys are honestly not acting how I thought you would to that news, by the way.” “What news? You saying you haven’t had sex before?” Cami asks, putting her menu fan down. I nod. “Why would we? It isn’t a big deal. And penetrative sex being considered your 1rst time is a heteronormative thing. My 1rst sexual experience was with a woman. Plus I believe in science and, not to get too deep
on you over breakfast, virginity isn’t a medical concept.”
It’s the second time I’ve been told something similar recently. Aurora is nodding along with her until she 1nishes speaking. “That, but also, Will sounds like he was a dick, so I wouldn’t have wanted to fuck him, either.”
“This conversation is enlightening,” I say, taking a sip from the water glass in front of me. “So many people have made me feel weird about it. The girlfriend of someone on Will’s team once said to me, Aren’t you worried about him cheating on you if you’re not keeping him satisfied? Ironically, her boyfriend cheated on her.”
Aurora’s eyes widen. “Why do people care so much about what’s happening between other people’s legs? It’s so fucking weird. Like, yes, I’m your friend and I want to know all the things going on with you, but, Jesus, I’m not going to try to tell you what to do with your own genitals.”
“Please don’t say genitals so early on a Sunday morning,” I plead.
“Did Will make you feel weird about it?” Cami asks. “I’m totally down to do something I won’t verbalize to make sure he never has a professional hockey career or, like, any happiness in his life, if he did.”
“I feel like if I answer that honestly I’m going to end up being an accessory to a crime.”
“You can only be an accessory if I tell you what I’m planning,” Cami says with a wink. “I’m sorry he was so bad to you, Hals. I hope you know there isn’t some kind of deadline for this stuI. Without sounding like a bumper sticker that I’d de1nitely buy if I had a car, bodily autonomy includes the things you don’t want to do as well as the things you do want to do. I’m so happy Henry is a good guy and he’s experienced, too, which will help make it easier for you.”
I’m happy Henry is a good guy, too. For some reason every time he comes up, I want to bury my head in my hands and kick my feet excitedly. Never occurred to me that him being experienced would be a bene1t. “He is. I do want to have sex with him. I just don’t want to rush into everything all at once, y’know? I’m nervous.”
“Not to sound like your mom, but did someone give you the birds and the bees talk? Do you know how to be safe?” Aurora asks, and honestly, it feels a little like I’m being quizzed by my parents right now. “And y’know, arranging tests and things? Do you take birth control?”
She looks so genuine, but it’s hard not to laugh. This is not how I imagined breakfast going. “Yes, someone gave me the birds and the bees talk. I’m not on birth control because I worried that Will would see it as a green light before I was ready. I should probably look into it before we start, right?”
“Maybe to just decide if it’s something you’re interested in? Not everyone takes it. If you need help navigating them, I’ve literally tried them all. I have killer periods, so I’ve been on it since I was fourteen,” Cami says.
“And if you decide you want to get some, I can go to your doctor with you,” Aurora adds. “I once had to try to get the morning-after pill in some random-ass village in Switzerland in broken Italian so no conversation about contraception fazes me now.”
“I—” I’m so confused. “I have so many questions. What were you doing in a random Swiss village?”
“I lived a life before Russ turned me into the responsible and re1ned woman
Cami looks as confused as I feel. Aurora’s life before Russ is well-documented online, so it’s not hard to imagine. “Okay, I still have no idea how it happened. I was supposed to be in Italy. There was this guy from my dad’s work I used to get into trouble with—it’s a story for another time. Anyway… we’re here to talk about Halle and Henry. I hope what we’ve said makes you feel better.”
It’s comforting to hear them say things I’ve known deep down but never had confirmed. Will always made me feel like I was somehow falling behind, like there was something wrong with me. In hindsight, I’m not even sure he was that great of a friend. But Cami and Aurora? They’re good friends. “Thank you, both of you. Really.”
“You look like you’re having a moment, so I’ll start talking about myself to give you time to process,” Aurora says, leaning her head against her palm. “No more conquest stories, though. My birthday is coming up, and I have no plans. I told Russ I didn’t want to plan anything because he’s so stressed out with his asshole brother, but honestly, I kind of do want something. I just don’t know what. My mom will pay for whatever I want, but I need to decide soon, and I’m picky.”
Our breakfast orders are taken, and while we workshop ideas and after I’ve eaten half of my pancakes, we’ve settled that we don’t have enough time to organize a music festival.
“What about a sleepover?” I say, holding out my plate for Cami to give me her strawberries. “Like a movie night sleepover? We could do it at the hotel. If it’s a weeknight the penthouse will probably be free.”
“Yeah, if your mom waves her Black card at the event planner, they will move heaven and earth to pull something together. They’re actually really good, you just need to decide what you want it to look like,” Cami says enthusiastically.
“I’ve seen them pull functions together with literally days’ notice. Also, not to share company secrets, but I’ve known Pete to move bookings to give the right customer the penthouse when it’s been booked.”
“I can do a mood board for them and create a list of all the things you need. I’ll make sure it’s perfect. I’m pretty sure there’s a gazillion companies that rent beds, screens, etcetera now. It probably won’t be that hard even at short notice.”
“Do you even have the time for that?” Aurora asks. “Your schedule gives me a headache.”
I want to 1nd the time for her. “Sure, I can do most of it while I’m at work.
It’ll be easy.”
“And we de1nitely can’t organize a festival?” “It’s a hard no on the festival,” Cami says.
“Okay, I’ll call my mom later and tell her to call the hotel. Thank you, guys.
So, what do you think about a Reese Witherspoon theme?”
