The pavilion overlooked a courtyard of wisteria, the trees draped with clusters of lilac blossoms. I stood behind my mistress, Lady Meiling, who wore a pink brocade dress
with gleaming flowers on the flowing sleeves and skirt. It was exquisite, the embroidered petals blushing a deep red before turning silver once more. My eyes widened. Lady Meiling possessed countless outfits, but this was a rare
one. Only the most skilled seamstresses could enchant their creations to respond to its wearerโs powers.
In addition to serving Lady Meiling and keeping her rooms and courtyard pristine, I was assigned the care of her garmentsโher robes, cloaks, and sashes of silk, satin, and brocade. At first, it seemed a pleasant if somewhat tedious task. But I soon learned I bore the brunt of her
considerable displeasure whenever anything was misplaced, for the slightest scratch or speck of dust. To make matters worse, Jiayi selected our mistressโs attire each day, adding to my workload with her never-ending stream of complaints and demands.
Perhaps sensing my distraction, Lady Meilingโs lips pursed as she glanced my way. โTea,โ she said curtly.
I hastened to refill her cup, the fragrant steam curling in the air.
A strong gust of wind blew through the courtyard,
showering petals across the grass. Lady Meiling smoothed down her fluttering sleeves, her brow puckering as though vexed the wind had dared to disrupt her morning.
โXingyin, fetch my cloak,โ she demanded. โThe peach silk with the gold hem. Make sure you get the right one.โ
I bowed, fighting the urge to grind my teeth. Lady Meiling was young, but she possessed the imperious temperament of a thousand-year-old matriarch.
Just a few months had passed since I came here, but the warmth of being among loved ones had already faded to
the echo of a memory. As promised, I kept my identity a secretโyet it was never far from my thoughts. At night, I listened out for the deep and steady breathing of my
roommates before letting my mind drift to the shining halls of my home. Thatโs when the nightmares began, of my mother and Pingโer being captured by soldiers. Of
returning home to find it deserted and left in ruins. It was no wonder that I often awoke drenched in sweat, gasping through the cramp in my chest.
The other attendants disliked me, thinking my situation beneath theirs. Their contempt only steeled my spine,
although they made life hard for me in countless petty ways: ruining the things in my care, mocking my every word, carrying untrue tales of me to our mistress. She sent me to kneel in the courtyard so many times, I felt I was one of the carved stone lions that guarded the entrance. I
should not complain; this was better than imprisonment or being flogged with flaming whips. Yet more than the discomfort, it was the indignity which stung. Each time I
sucked back my tears, swallowing them all until I could almost taste the difference between the bitter tang of
humiliation and the salt of sorrow.
I hurried to Lady Meilingโs room and searched frantically for her cloak. Her patience was short and her temper as
incendiary as those firecrackers the mortals set off during
festivals. Finally, I spotted it flung onto a chair. Picking it up, my relief vanished at the sight of the dark blot seeping
through the fabric, the ink still glistening. Without thinking, I dropped it back down before it stained my skin.
โWhatโs the matter?โ Jiayi entered, a smile playing on her lips as she stared at the ruined garment. โIf you donโt look after our Young Mistressโs clothes properly, you only have
yourself to blame.โ
As her hand flicked out in a disdainful wave, I stiffened to see one of her fingers darkly stained.
โIt was you,โ I said flatly. It should have come as no surprise.
Her cheeks reddened as she tossed her head. โWho would believe you anyway?โ
My temper, simmering over the months of indignities, roiled over. โSuch tricks donโt make you better than anyone, they make youย less,โ I hissed.
Jiayi took a step back. Was she afraid I might attack her?
All I wanted was an apology, an admission of her guilt instead of hiding behind her mocking smiles and accomplices.
But I was denied even that, as Lady Meiling stormed into the room. โWhatโs taking you so long? Iโm almost frozen
from the wind!โ As her gaze slid to the cloak on the floor, her mouth fell open.
Jiayi recovered her composure first, her eyes wide and guileless as she picked up the garment and shook it out to better display the mark. โYoung Mistress, Xingyin spilled ink on it. She told me not to tell you because she was
afraid.โ
I breathed deeply, fighting for calm. Lady Meiling would never side with me against her favorite attendant. Not
without proofโwhich I had, this time. โJiayi is mistaken; I did no such thing. It was stained before I got here. Young Mistress is welcome to inspect us for stains.โ
Jiayi paled as she buried her hands into the silken folds of the cloak. She need not have bothered as Lady Meilingโs eyes pinched tight, like a cat who had been stroked the
wrong way. She disliked me, perhaps influenced by the stories the others told her.
โJiayi is your senior in this household. Apologize to her at once. Then clean this and make sure itโs spotless.โ She
snatched the offending garment and tossed it at me. It struck my cheek, slithering down to pool by my feet.
I could not speak, my gut recoiling from the injustice. My arms remained wooden by my sides in defiance of her orders. A wild urge gripped me, to hurl the garment back
at her. To pour freshly ground ink over Jiayiโs own robe. To storm out . . . but here the fantasy ended. Where could I go?
As Lady Meilingโs lips clamped into thin streaks, I
dropped my head, forcing out an apology. Grabbing the cloak, I ran from the room, unsure how much longer I could contain myself.
I wanted to be alone, far from the chatter of the other attendants. I was beginning to understand why my mother preferred solitude during the times that burdened her heart. With a bucket and a bar of soap, I made my way to the nearby river. Clusters of bamboo grew all around, lush emerald green as they stretched proudly toward the sky. I
sat by the riverbank, scrubbing the cloak, my chest so tight I could barely breathe. How I missed my home! The vow I had made to rescue my mother crushed me with its sheer
futility. How could I ever help her, powerless as I was? My future stretched before me, lonely and bleakโa lifetime of servitude without hope of betterment. An unwanted tear
welled up in the corner of my eye. I had learned to swallow them, inhaling sharply or blinking them away. But as I was alone, I let it trail down my cheek.
โWhy are you crying?โ A clear voice rang out, startling me.
I spun around, only now noticing the young man sitting on a rock a short distance away, an elbow resting on his raised knee. How could I have missed his aura, which
pulsed in the air? Strong and warm, as bright as a cloudless noon. His dark eyes gleamed from beneath
sweeping brows, and there was a radiance to his skin like it had been glazed by the sun. His long black hair was
gathered up into a tail, spilling over his blue brocade robe, which was fastened around his waist with a silk belt. A yellow jade ornament swung from his sash, its tassel
reaching to his knees as he jumped down and strode
toward me. As he returned my gaze unreservedly, heat crept up my neck.
โIt canโt be that hard to clean some dirty clothes,โ he remarked, staring at the bundle in my hands.
โHow would you know? Itโs a lot harder than it looks,โ I retorted. โAnd I would never cry over this. Itโs just . . . I miss my family.โ The moment the words slipped out, I bit my tongue. It was the truth, but what had possessed me to speak of such things to a stranger?
โIf you miss your family, just go back to them. Why would you leave? Especially for work such as this.โ He gestured at the sodden garment dismissively, the corners of his lips
curving up.
Was he mocking me? Iโd had my fill of such treatment
today. His arrogance, the careless way he spoke, snapped my frayed nerves. What did he know of my troubles? Who was he to judge?
I cast a pointed look at his finery. โNot everything is that simple. Not everyone is as fortunate to do as they please.
And Iโll take no advice from someone who has never worked a day in his life.โ
His smile vanished. โYour attitude is rather insolent for an attendant.โ He sounded more curious than offended.
โBeing an attendant doesnโt mean I donโt have my pride. The work I do is not a reflection of who I am.โ Turning my
back to him, I scrubbed at the cloak with more vigor than before. I had wasted too much time already; Lady Meiling would be furious if I took too longโwhich would mean another night of kneeling on the cold, hard ground.
There was no reply and I thought he had left, tired of teasing me. Yet I twisted around to find him still there.
โLooking for me?โ he laughed. As a heated denial rose in my throat, he added quickly, โAre you from the Golden Lotus Mansion?โ
โHow did you know?โ I rose to my feet, wondering if he was an acquaintance of Lady Meiling.
He leaned forward then, his outstretched hand grazing the side of my head. I recoiled and swatted him away,
knocking out the brass lotus pin from my hair. Before I
could move, he bent down and picked it up from the grass. Without a word he wiped the pin against his sleeve, sliding it back into my hair. Dirt smeared his robe, which seemed not to bother him in the least.
โThank you,โ I said, finding my voice. No, he could not be my mistressโs friend. None of them would ever help an attendant.
โYour pin,โ he explained. โDonโt all the attendants from there wear the same one?โ
I nodded as I sat down, plunging the cloak into the
stream again, cursing inwardly at the stubborn ink. Instead of leaving as I expected, he settled down beside me, his legs dangling over the edge of the bank.
โWhy are you so unhappy?โ
It had been so long since I had someone to talk to, someone willing to listen. My cautionโso carefully
cultivated hereโthawed in the spark of his warmth. โEach morning when I awaken, I donโt want to open my eyes,โ I began haltingly, unused to unburdening myself.
โMaybe you should sleep more if youโre so tired.โ
He grinned but I scowled at him, in no mood for humor.
How silly I was to think he might have cared. I grabbed the
cloak and bucket to leave, as he scrambled to his feet.
โIโm sorry,โ he said sti๏ฌy, as though unaccustomed to apologizing. โI shouldnโt have made fun of you when you were trying to tell me something important.โ
โNo, you shouldnโt have.โ Yet there was no rancor in my voice; his apology had blunted my resentment. It was
heartfelt and kind, both of which I had encountered little of since leaving my home.
โIf youโre still willing to tell me, I would be honored to listen.โ He inclined his head with unexpected formality.
I snorted. โI would hardly describe this as an honor, but I appreciate your clumsy attempt at flattery.โ
โClumsy?โ It was his turn to scowl. โDid it work?โ he asked, unrepentantly.
I could not suppress my smile. โUnfortunately.โ
As an awkward silence settled over us, I plucked a long blade of grass and wound it between my fingers.
โSo, why do you dread each day?โ he probed.
I tied a knot in the grass, and then another. It was easier to look at it than at him. โBecause I have nothing to look
forward to. Iโm a failure and no matter what I do, how hard I tryโnothing will ever change. Have you ever felt this way? Helpless?โ At once, I chided myself for being a fool.
Someone like him would never understand. โYes,โ he said simply.
โYou do?โ It was not that I doubted him, but he seemed to be one of those golden creatures who possessed more than their fair share of blessings. I knew nothing of him except his appearance and fine garments, yet his assured manner heralded privilege louder than bloodlines or titles.
He leaned back, resting his palms on the grass.
โEveryone has their own troubles; some lay them bare
while others hide them better. For myself, I do what I can to stretch the boundaries which chafe, even if itโs just a little each time. Who knows when the slightest shift might make a difference?โ
What he said struck a chord in me. I had berated myself for being weak, but had that been an excuse for doing nothing? These past months I had been a shadow of myself, hollowed by grief and self-pity. It was true that I possessed no powers to speak of, no friends or family to aid me. But I wasย notย helpless, not even when those soldiers had chased Pingโer and me. I had taken a wild chance then, rather than await certain capture. So why not here? Where shelter
came at the price of my dignity and dreams? I might not
find a means out now, but through small nudges, little steps
โI might carve my way after all, one that might lead me home.
A giddy relief swept over me, unexpected yet welcome. I was grateful to him, this odd-mannered manโat times offensive, yet courteous and kind. Oh, my situation was still dire but my spirit, while bruised, was unbroken. Perhaps all it had taken was finally being seen as a person again. As
myself. To be reminded there was life beyond the Golden Lotus Mansion once I broke this cycle of misery, which I had somehow trapped myself into believing was my only path forward.
โI would leave tomorrow, but I have nowhere to go,โ I muttered fervently.
โWhat about your family? Your friends? Canโt they help?โ
My face shuttered. My mother and Pingโer were lost to me. โI have no one.โ
โHave your parents . . . passed?โ he asked tentatively.
I shuddered at the thought, wishing I had not spoken of my mother. The mortals believed it courted bad luck to
even speak such things aloud. Too many fears still
shrouded my heart, of too many things which could go wrong.
His expression softened. โIโm sorry,โ he said gently, taking my silence as an answer.
Guilt lay heavy on my tongue. I did not want to lie to him, yet I could not tell him the truth. But worse still was
claiming his sympathy which I had no right to. I opened my mouth to correct him, to utter the words that would dispel his compassion and leave him a disinterested stranger once moreโbut the sound of footsteps cut me off.
It was Lady Meiling, stalking toward me in a rustle of brocade. I leapt to my feet, fighting the familiar dread
spreading through me. The air shifted with the heat of her aura, anger rolling off her in waves. I was well versed in
the stages of her temper and from the scarlet mottling her cheeks, she was truly furious.
โXingyin! How long does it take to clean one small stain?โ
I winced at the sharpness in her tone, even as something hardened along my spine. No apology sprang to my tongue, nor did I drop my gaze.
My silence seemed to enrage her further. โHow dare you sit here, idling about and chatting to strangers?โ She cast a scornful look at my new acquaintance, but then a strange
and wonderful thing happened. Her face drained of color, a gasp sucked from her lips. Dropping to her knees, she
cupped her hands together, holding them before her as she folded over in a formal bowโto the young man who had
risen to stand beside me.
โLady Meiling greets His Highness, Crown Prince Liwei.โ Her voice turned as sweet as honey. โIf we had known you were honoring us with your presence, we would have
prepared a proper welcome.โ
I would have followed her to sink to my knees, too, but all I could manage was to stare at him in disbelief. Why didnโt he tell me who he was?ย He had not lied either, I reminded myself. Gone was the gentle young man I had confided in;
in his place was a lord, secure in his might. He stood with his hands clasped behind his back, his expression aloof. If I had seen this side of him earlier, I might have fled.
He nodded to her with cool formality. โLady Meiling,
what has this attendant done to earn such a harsh rebuke?โ
A soft sigh slid from her as her shoulders drooped. How
frail and lovely she appeared right now, like a rose stripped of its thorns.
โYour Highness, I have always treated those who serve me as though they were my own family. What you
witnessed was just a slip in my temper, caused by this attendantโs repeated offenses.โ
Strangled sounds emerged from my throat which I choked back down. Prince Liweiโs expression was
inscrutable. Did he believe her? And why did my spirits sink at the thought?
โHow has she offended you?โ His tone was pleasant, yet he did not give Lady Meiling permission to rise.
โShe spoiled my favorite garment and tried to lie her way out of it.โ
โI did not lie!โ I cried out, all decorum forgotten.
Prince Liweiโs back stiffened a little. Did he regret being drawn into this trivial squabble? Such were my days at the Golden Lotus Mansion; an incessant stream of pettiness
which wore away and gnawed at me. But no more, I decided. My encounter with the princeโinexplicable
though it wasโhad reminded me that I did not need to
meekly walk the path set before me. I would seek and use all the advantages I could find, even that of his position now.
โDid you see her ruin your garment?โ he asked Lady Meiling.
She hesitated. โNo, I heard fromโโ
His hand flew up, cutting her off. โLady Meiling, you appear quick to cast blame without proper investigation.โ He took the cloak from me and looked at the blot, which all my efforts so far had failed to lessen. The air warmed as
golden light streaked from his palm into the silk. The stain disappeared, the cloak drying as though it had never been wet.
His magic was strong! As was the ease with which it flowed from him. How I wished I could do that. The gale
which had sprung up to snatch Pingโer to safety seemed a distant dream. If it had come from me, I had no idea how to do it again. When I closed my eyes, I still caught tantalizing glimpses of the lights within me, but they darted away the
instant I reached out. My attempts were halfhearted at best
โthe sight of them stabbed me with fear and remorse. If only I had not drawn the empressโs attention, I would still be home. Maybe Pingโer would have eventually taught me how to use my powers. I thought, bitterly, what use was magic when it was untrained? And there would be little
hope of advancing my skills as long as I remained here.
In the Golden Lotus Mansion only the most favored servants were taught to channel their magic to perform rudimentary tasks, to aid their chores. The guards were instructed in attack and defense enchantments, from
raising shields of protection to casting bolts of fire or ice. While the rest of us were expected to labor as the mortals did. Admittedly, most of the other attendants possessed a weak lifeforce, unlikely to ever become strong enough to ascend the hierarchy of immortals.
Perhaps it was true for me as well, but deep down, I did not think so. It was my powers which had drawn the
Celestial Kingdomโs attention. It had been my bane, but perhaps I could turn it into an advantageโif I found
someone willing to train me.
Prince Liwei passed the now pristine cloak to Lady Meiling. โI trust there will be no need to berate anyone further.โ His tone hardened. โAny senior attendant in your household, or even you yourself, could have fixed this
without resorting to these measures. Such behavior from a position of privilege does not reflect well upon you.โ
Two red spots burned in Lady Meilingโs cheeks. A petty part of me relished watching her get reprimanded, but
what would happen when the prince left? As a new voice
rang out, that of Lady Meilingโs father, my anxiety increased threefold.
โYour Highness.โ He hurried to where we stood, likely alerted to the Crown Princeโs presence by a vigilant attendant. Sinking to his knees, he performed a formal obeisance, touching his brow to the ground. โIf my
daughter or this servant has offended you, I plead for your forgiveness.โ
โI was disappointed to see how Lady Meiling treats those in her household,โ the prince said. โSuch behavior has no place in my court. When I return, I intend to rescind the
invitation to your house for the selection of my companion.โ I stifled a gasp. Lady Meiling had spoken of little but this,
ever since she was chosen as a candidate. The Crown Prince had arranged this competition to choose a study
companion, one who would learn alongside him. Was this what he meant by stretching the constraints which chafed him? Was he tired of his friends in the palace? It was said the prince wished to open the opportunity to the entire
kingdom but was overruled. Now each candidate had to be sponsored by a noble household, who then proceeded to
put forth only their kin.
Lady Meilingโs father blanched. It would be a terrible humiliation to be struck off the list and there would be endless gossip as to why his daughter had been found
wanting. โPlease forgive her, Your Highness,โ he implored. โMy daughter would be a true flower to grace your court, should she be fortunate enough to join it.โ
A bold idea formed in my mind. Audacious even, but I might never have such a chance again. To no longer be at the mercy of a capricious mistress, to study with Prince Liwei, to learn to harness my powers . . . my mouth went dry at the thought. Perhaps then, I could help my mother.
I sank to my knees, performing a clumsy bow. โYour Highness, please donโt withdraw Lady Meilingโs invitation.
Butโโ The words stuck in my throat like a firmly lodged fish bone.
He waited, his patience calming my scattered nerves. My tongue darted over my lips as I gathered the courage to
say, โI wish to participate, too.โ
Lady Meiling and her father spun to me, their eyes bulging. To them, I was nothing, undeserving of such an honor. I wanted to sink through the ground, unused to
putting myself forward this wayโbut Prince Liweiโs opinion was the only one that mattered.
He blinked, seemingly taken aback for the first time since I met him. โWhy?โ he drew out the word.
Lady Meilingโs father had hoped to knit closer ties with the royal family. There was even talk of her winning the princeโs affection. I cared little for all that. It crossed my mind to flatter him, but I decided to speak from the heart. It was what I had done before I knew who he was. โYour Highness, it would be an honor to be in your company, but that is not why I want thisโโ
He tapped his chin, his lips twitching. โYouย donโtย want to be in my company?โ
โNo, Your Highness. I mean, yes! Yes, I do want to be in your company,โ I stammered. โBut more than anything, I want to learnย withย you, from the greatest masters of the
kingdom.โ Silently, I cursed my fumbling words.ย He would refuse, I thought in despair. But it would have been worseย notย to have tried.
He stilled as though weighing my answer. Finally, he said to Lady Meilingโs father, โI will allow your daughter to keep her place, on one condition: that you sponsor this attendantโs participation as well.โ
Hope soared in me like a kite swept up by the wind. โYour Highness, she is just an attendant,โ Lady Meilingโs
father protested.
โWhat we do is not a reflection of who we are.โ Prince Liwei echoed my earlier words, his gaze steely beyond his
years. โSponsor them both or none at all.โ
โYes, Your Highness.โ Lady Meilingโs father bowed, as Prince Liwei walked away, disappearing into the bamboo forest.
A tense silence followed his departure. I picked up my things, intending to make myself scarce when Lady Meilingโs father waved me over.
โHow do you know the Crown Prince?โ he demanded. โI only met him today,โ I replied honestly.
He squinted at me, stroking his beard. โWhy is he so interested in your well-being?โ he wondered aloud,
observing nothing in my appearance that might have prompted the Crown Princeโs defense.
From the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Lady Meilingโs face, still red from fury and humiliation.
Reluctant to salt her wound, I chose my words with care. โHe saw me crying and I think he felt sorry for me.โ It struck me, then, this was probably the truth.
He nodded, dismissing me with a flick of his hand. Pity for someone like me was something he could comprehend.
I bowed and excused myself, my steps lighter than a gliding feather. I was no deluded fool; it would take a
miracle for me to win. But there was a deep satisfaction in reaching out to grasp this opportunity. Even if I lost. Even if I was turned out of the Golden Lotus Mansion. This sliver of hope was a breath of fresh air in my stagnant existence.
Spurred by new resolve, I walked back with my head held a little higher. I was no longer a child willing to drift with the tideโI would steer against the current if I had to. And if I won, by some miraculous stroke of luck, I would never be helpless again.
