I
was caught in quite a predicament.
On one hand, I had a beautiful, nude woman draped over me, her face nestled against my neck and slow breaths tickling my skin, and I felt truly content for the first time in weeks — hell, years. It would be so easy to curl up with her and fall into an enticing rest, clinging to the wonderful notion that she would be there when I opened my eyes again.
On the other hand, I had a beautiful, nude woman draped over me, her fingers drifting sleepy circles over my chest, and neither of us had any idea what would happen to us come sunrise. Maybe one or both of us would not make it out alive. Or maybe we’d immediately be whisked back to the Orders to go fight the next war, once this one was over.
Maybe Reshaye would tighten its hold on Tisaanah and steal any promise of future moments alone together, which was a prospect that terrified me so deeply that I pushed it from my mind.
Either way, who knew how long it would be before we could be this way again? And maybe I needed sleep, but did I really need it any more than I needed her? Than I needed to spend every possible second inside of her, or touching her, or watching her, or listening to her? I wanted to
memorize every sound she made, every expression, every freckle or mole, like I was a cartographer tattooing a map of her onto my soul. Still so many paths to chart.
Sure, I was tired. But there was work to do.
Tisaanah’s circles drifted, turning to lazy S shapes over my stomach. I bit back a twitching laugh. Not well enough.
“What a beautiful giggle,” she teased.
“Letting you find out that I’m ticklish will be the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”
Her fingers drifted lower. Ticklishness was no longer my problem.
I craned my neck to look down at her. She blinked back at me with one green, half-open eye, her hair a flurry around her face, kiss-swollen lips twisted into a mischievous little smile. Ascended, that smile. Maybe I knew from the beginning that it would be my undoing.
I raised my eyebrows, as if to say, Really? Again?
“Too tired?” She lifted her head, letting tendrils of black and silver hair dangle over my face. “You would rather sleep?”
My hand ran down her side, following the warmth of her skin and the curve where her waist met her hip.
What a predicament, indeed.
I pulled her face to mine, resigned to my noble sacrifice. “If you can do it, I can do it.”
 |
I DID, eventually, have to pry myself away. The sun had not quite risen when I defied my every instinct and removed myself from Tisaanah’s arms, throwing my clothes back on and giving her a — fine, two; fine, three — goodbye kisses. We were in mutual agreement that it was better to avoid the awkward questions that would come with my leaving after sunrise.
The dusky darkness met me with a wall of cool air that was one part refreshing, one part depressing, like a physical manifestation of how different the inside of that tent was to the rest of the world.
In there, I could remove myself from reality and think about nothing but Tisaanah for five blissful hours.
Out here, we were surrounded by displaced people whose homes had been destroyed, and we were on our way to fight the most powerful house in Threll.
Well, that was more effective than any bucket of cold water: Oh, yes, now I remember. Everything is terrible.
I kept my steps silent as I moved across the path to my own tent, glancing to the other darkened tents and sleeping bodies to my left. Tisaanah’s tent sat on the outskirts of the camp, beside mine, so it wasn’t far. Still, I was careful not to wake anyone as I opened the flap—
“You smell like debauchery.”
I jumped so high that I had to bite back a curse, whipping around to see Sammerin seated cross-legged beside the path, in front of his shelter. With his dark clothing and his typical quiet demeanor, he practically melted into the dusk.
“Shit, Sammerin, don’t do that to me.” I stepped towards him, examining his face while trying not to let him know I was doing it. “Don’t you have more productive things to do? Like sleep, for example. Perhaps that would be a better use of your time.”
Even in the darkness, it was easy to see that shadows pooled beneath his eyes, his quiet amusement weighed down by exhaustion. Yesterday had been a long, hard day for him. Lots of people to heal — and, of course, putting down Reshaye took a massive amount of energy. When I last saw him, he was so spent that he practically had to drag himself back to his tent.
Sammerin just looked at me, that knowing look sparkling in his eye, and raised his eyebrows slightly. “Have
fun?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Max, what’s this?” He pointed to his tent.
I knew this was not going anywhere in my favor. “I’d love to play this game, but I have all kinds of important things to do.”
“This is a tent. A shelter constructed of fabric. Fabric is a material not known for its sound dampening qualities.” He said all of this in that perpetually smooth, calm voice, but his tired eyes glittered with laughter. “You’re lucky that I’m the only one close enough to hear.”
The thought of Zeryth— or Nura —
I cringed and tried not to show it. “Firstly, I am a gentleman and therefore, again, I have no idea what you’re talking about. But secondly, if I did — theoretically — I’d find it highly, highly suspect that you listened to that.”
“Be assured that I tried very hard not to. But at least we got the inevitable out of the way.” Then, something shifted in his expression. The amusement faded. “I hope you’re both ready for today.”
A knot formed in my stomach. Right. In hours, Tisaanah would be walking back into the home of the man who had— well, I didn’t even want to think about all of the things that those people had done to her. She — we — were about the take on the most powerful house in Threll. And I’d have to watch her put herself in that kind of danger. And, of course,
Reshaye…
“I’ll be more ready after another hour of sleep,” I grumbled, shoving my anxiety down my throat.
Sammerin stared at me with that searching concern for a couple of seconds longer, then shrugged. “At least if you die, you’ll die happy.”
“Fuck you.”
“I don’t need anyone’s leftovers.”
I stifled a chuckle as I went into my tent.
