The shadows beneath Maxโs eyes the next morning told me he had slept about as well as I had. And then his
pointed silence told me that he certainly had no interest in talking about what had happened the day before.
I had so many questions โ about the war, about his family, about the Queenโs father. But Iโd spent enough time reading people and massaging my interactions with them to know that outright asking was not the best way to find out what I wanted to know. So I had obliged his unspoken request, sitting in silence, watching out the window bleary-eyed as the sun rose over the horizon. It wasnโt hard. I felt like I had been trampled by a few dozen horses.
We were halfway through breakfast when the front door abruptly swung open, revealing an unamused-looking Sammerin.
โI hear that you had a very exciting day yesterday,โ he said, calmly, in place of a greeting.
Max grunted something wordless. โYouโre lucky to be alive.โ
โAbsolutely. So lucky.โ
Sammerin gave him a cold, hard look โ one of those looks shared between friends who knew each other well enough to speak silently.
Max shrugged.
โSheโs a child,โ Sammerin said. โYou should have controlled yourself.โ
At this, my mouth went sour, the image of the blood rolling down the steps overtaking my vision. โA child?โ I said. My voice was raspy with exhaustion, like my headache was seeping into my throat. โSheย killedย that man.โ
โThat isnโt the first one, either.โ Max scoffed. โSomeone had to say something.โ
โVery noble of you.โ Sammerin let out a silent breath, invisible except for the lowering of his shoulders. โIf Tare had given her any other sign, it wouldโve been your body kicked down those stairs.โ
Max laughed bitterly. โGood point. All those years ago, would you ever have thought Tare would be the one holding so many lives in his hands?ย Tare?โ He shook his head. โAscended above. What a time to be alive.โ
โThe Valtain with her?โ I asked. Max had addressed him by name yesterday, too, I recalled. โYou know him?โ
โThe Orders are incestuous,โ he replied. โEveryone knows everyone, mostly because everyone has either screwed or screwed over everyone else. Sometimes both. Occasionally even at the same time.โ
โIn-ses-tuโฆ?โ
โIt meansโฆโ His brow furrowed, then he shook his head. โNevermind.โ
Sammerin sighed. โJust tread carefully, Max. You wonโt get chances like that again.โ
Something softened in Maxโs expression, just slightly. โI know.โ Then he stood up, turning to me. โAre you ready?โ
I blinked at him, trying to clear the cloud from my thoughts.
โYou look like death. But you donโt think you get a break because of this, do you?โ
I had assumed, judging by Maxโs foul mood, that Iโd be practicing on my own today. But this was a pleasant surprise. โIf you can do it,โ I said, โI can do it.โ
A smirk glimmered at the corners of his eyes. โThatโs what I like to hear.โ Then, to Sammerin, โExcuse us, Sammerin. We have work to do. Besides, Iโm sure that Moth is probably destroying something as we speak.โ
โProbably so,โ Sammerin muttered. His gaze went far away from a moment, as if imagining what he would go home to find.
Poor Moth. I hoped that they didnโt talk about me that way.
Sammerin turned to the door, then paused for a moment and looked back at Max. โWhat were you doing in the city to begin with?โ
โJust picking up some things from Via.โ
โAnd then you stayed? Some might dare call that out of character, Max.โ
Max shrugged. โAnd paid a price for it. Lesson learned.โ โHm,โ Sammerin gave us one of those quiet, unreadable
looks, and slipped out the door.
โTHIS ISย AWFUL,โ Max said, drawing his arm across his forehead and making a face of disgust.
I couldnโt disagree.
Summer had come in the span of a few days, it seemed. I was used to the heat. But Araโs heat was a whole different beast altogether, so wet and sticky that I couldnโt tell whether the slime on my skin came from sweat or from the air itself.
Neck craned, I watched Max stand at the top of a modest pile of rocks, wiping perspiration off his face and looking down at the lake below him. Water lapped at my bare toes.
We had stepped out of the cottage into this wall of humid heat, and Max had immediately announced, โI am
not evenย remotelyย made for this.โ Then, after a moment of pondering, he led me off much further beyond the tree line than we normally ventured, deep into the woods. I was dripping in sweat and half eaten alive by bugs by the time we arrived at this spot: a break in the forest cradling a beautiful, idyllic-looking pond.
Max yanked his sweat-soaked shirt off over his head with one hand. As he curled his back in a stretch, the tree leaves above flickered light and shadow over the muscles of his shoulders. He crouched to kick the crumbled fabric out of his way and those delicate flecks were shattered by the brutal scar that sliced across his back.
I stared more intently than I meant to. The Queenโs words echoed in my head:ย Captain Farlione is nearly solely responsible for the end of the Great Ryvenai War.
This was a body that was capable of things powerful enough to end a war. Powerful enough to commit whatever acts had inspired such intense, divisive reactions in that crowd, the awe and disgust that had shocked through me like lightning.
Gods, I had so many questions.
Max peered down only briefly before he hurled himself off of the rock in one sleek, graceful leap. His head bobbed back up a second later, shaking his wet hair out of his face. โMuch better. Your turn.โ
I looked from the rocks to the water and strangled a whisper of uncertainty in my stomach.
I mimicked his path up the cliffs, then removed my wrapped shirt and trousers, leaving me in my undergarments โ a chamois shirt and shorts. They were far less revealing than many of the things I wore every day in Esmarisโs servitude, and even in those days, I was never thought twice about having so much of my body exposed. Now, I didnโt feelย self-conscious,ย exactly, but I was acutely aware of Maxโs gaze.
That distraction, however, was far from my mind as I hung my toes over the edge of the rock and looked down.
Seconds passed.
โAre you afraid?โ Max asked, at last. โNo,โ I lied.
The cliff was only about ten feet high. Not far.
โThere isโฆvery little water in Threll,โ I added, haltingly. โYou donโt know how to swim?โ
When I finally made myself look at Max, he was suppressing a smirk of amusement. โI promise I wonโt let you drown. Unless, of course, youโd rather not jump.โ
โOf course I will,โ I said, as if suggesting otherwise was outright ridiculous. And then, since I knew that that tone of voice meant I had to follow throughโฆ
I squeezed my eyes shut and then a moment later I was falling, falling, until the water slapped me.
And then I was sinking, surrounded by cold and darkness.
Fear seized me as my limbs flailed.ย You said you wouldnโt let me drown, you ass!ย I wanted to screech. But of course, I couldnโt speak, or breathe, or seeโ
Until I felt a force solidifying beneath me, as if the water itself was propelling me up and up.
My face broke the surface and I sputtered, coughing. My hands instinctively shot out in a wild flail, grabbing at Max or at anything that might keep me afloat.
โRelax, Tisaanah. Stop moving long enough to feel it.โ Feel it?
And then I noticed: I was floating all on my own. The water pushed up beneath my feet, catching me and supporting my weight. I curled my toes, squirming as the current caressed them.
My head whipped to Max. โYou can do this?โ
โNo.โ Ripples circled his shoulders as he treaded, looking pleased. โYou can.โ
Me?
And, as if on cue, the current sputtered and I dropped. This time, Maxโs hands snaked out to catch me, and he guided me toward the shore until I felt the squishy relief of earth beneath my feet. I let forth a fit of coughs again when my head emerged from the surface.
Unpleasant. So deeply unpleasant.
โYou alright?โ Maxโs palm did not leave my arm, as if he were afraid I might float away. When I nodded, he said, โYouโll get better, or at least more consistent, Iโm sure.โ
I swirled my hand through the water, watching my spotted skin through the pulsating surface. I willed the water to move with me, and it did, running circles around my fingers. A satisfied smile twisted the corners of my mouth.
I had done little tricks with water before, for my performances. But nothing like this.
โYou look far too pleased with yourself.โ Max beckoned to me. โAgain, you have no control. Show me some of those butterflies you like so much and weโll see how much you earned that little smirk.โ
I obliged. The first ones were sloppy, heavy and dripping. But soon they grew more delicate, more controlled.
โBetter,โ Max said. โItโs like speaking another language. Once you learn the accent, it comes easier. I was curious how far youโd be able to go.โ
โCan you do this?โ
โWater isnโt quite a language I speak. The general rule is that water and air tend to be the domain of the Valtain, while Solarie are more attuned to the more physical elements like fire and earth.โ
I arched an eyebrow. โReally?ย Nothingย with water?โ I intentionally infused the shade of a dare into my voice. As much time as Max spent instructing me, I had never seen him perform much magic of his own. And now, after yesterday, I was more curious than ever.
โSome things.โ He looked at me like he knew exactly what I was doing. It was always the same skeptical look: pinched eyes, slightly narrowed, mouth pursed towards one side.
โLike what?โ
He paused, as if deciding whether to accept my challenge.
Then that wary look gave way to a more focused spark, and I knew I had him. He moved a few steps into more shallow territory, until the water lapped around his waist instead of his chest. Then he flattened his hands at the glassy surface.
At first, there was nothing. Then, bubbles started to rise around him, faster and faster, like the water was leaping to a boil.
Orโฆ
A particularly childish image popped into my head and refused to leave.
I couldnโt help myself. I pinched my nose. โMax!โ I breathed, aghast. โIn Threll, it isย very rudeย to do that in front of others.โ
For a moment, Max just looked confused. Then realization swept over his face and his mouth flattened into a very tense, very straight line. โTisaanahโฆ Ascended help me, was that aย fartย joke?โ
I just stood there, pinching my nose, grinning.
Serel and I had wielded this kind of immature humor with nothing less than mastery. And I hadnโt known until this moment exactly how much I had missed it. Joking โ even clumsily.
Maxโs mouth twitched. First the left side, then the right. And then, all at once, he burst into wild, unrestrained laughter. I realized then that I had never heard him laugh before, at least not in a way that wasnโt some biting chuckle or a sarcastic scoff.
I could, I admitted to myself, get used to it.
โSorry,โ I said, not meaning it. โI could not resist.โ
He shook his head, laughter slowly fading. โI donโt know what impresses me more. That you made a joke or that itโs one befitting of a five-year-old. Now that thatโs out of your system, will you let me focus?โ
His final chuckles disappeared as a line of concentration formed between his brows. The bubbles rose more frantically.
At all once, a wall of steam burst from the surface of the water, temporarily blinding me in warm grey. Slowly, the cloud dissipated, and it took me a moment to realize what I was looking at: a massive serpent carved from cloudy mist. It rose and rose and rose, and I craned my neck to follow its ghostlike face, transfixed.
And then, it lunged for me, circling around my body in wet, warm heat before launching into the sky. It was nearly enveloped by the clouds when, at last, it dissipated into โ and here, I could not help but smile โ hundreds and hundreds of little butterflies. It must have been visible for miles.
When I looked back to Max, sweat glistened over his skin. He dunked his head beneath the water and came up pushing his hair away from his face.
โThatโs it?โ I said, casually. โIs veryโฆ performative.โ Fine. I was impressed.
โThrowing all kinds of words back at me today.โ He looked pleased with himself, even if he was trying to hide it. โI donโt recall saying you could stop.โ
I managed a butterfly with wings so finely crafted that they were translucent and smiled at myself.
โGood,โ Max said, giving a little nod of approval. Then his voice grew slightly more serious as he said, โYouโre feeling better today?โ
Iโd managed to distract myself enough to forget about yesterdayโs events, at least for a few minutes. At the
thought of it, self-consciousness burned at my cheeks. โYes.โ
โYou were having a hard time.โ
It wasnโt a question. Andโ of course it wasnโt. It had to have been obvious, how much the emotions of it all had overwhelmed me. Drowned me.
โI felt very much yesterday,โ I said, quietly. โThe thoughts of the crowd. The Lord. The Queen. Very much.โ
Even that small admission of vulnerability nearly stuck to my tongue.
But Maxโs face softened, and his voice was surprisingly gentle as he asked, โDo you often struggle in large crowds of people?โ
I thought of the day I first saw Serel, when I had choked beneath the emotions of the slaves in that pit. Torture. Absolute torture. โSometimes,โ I admitted.
โItโs a common problem for Valtain,โ he said. โThereโs another reason why I brought you here. I wasnโt sure, at first, how I was going to help you with this. Totally unfamiliar to me, after all.โ His fingers skimmed over the surface, releasing tiny waves. โBut as a Valtain, youโre sensitive to what other peopleโs minds release into the world. All of thoseโฆ ripples.โ
A realization clicked into place as I watched his hands move over the surface of the pond. โLike water.โ
โRight.โ He gave me a faint smile. โThe nature or degree to which individual Valtain feel and interpret them is very different, as Iโm sure youโre well aware, but we know how you feel them.โ
โEmotions,โ I said.
โGenerally mild, as far as Valtain mental abilities go. And when itโs just a few, thereโs nothing to be concerned about.โ As if to demonstrate, he dipped his fingertips into the water, releasing delicate circles across its surface. โBut when youโre looking at a big disruptionโฆโ
I lifted my hands and brought them down in a violent splash, spattering myself and Max in water.
He winced. โExactly.โ He gestured to the surface, now shuddering with hundreds of indistinguishable ripples.
Right. It was simplyย too much, all of those waves of feeling clashing together until my mind was as disrupted as this water was. And that was almost exactly what it felt like: like everything that had once been clear and smooth, defined waves and circles, had become a tangled mass of movement.
โIn Ara, itโs a universal and necessary skill to learn how to shield your own thoughts as much as possible,โ Max said. โThere are a lot of Valtain around, and no one, Wielder or no, wants them poking around their thoughts. Iโve always thought of it like putting up a wallโฆ or, if we want to keep this metaphor going, a dam.โ
He gestured to the other end of the pond, where an old stone barrier extended towards the center, crumbling. Maybe once it had created a reservoir of some kind, though by the looks of it those days were long gone.
I thought of the one time I had attempted to so much as brush Maxโs thoughts. Whatever he did, it worked.
โBut,โ he went on, โyouโd probably require something a bit moreโฆ sophisticated. You need to cull what comes in, and what goes out.โ
An old memory whispered through my mind โ my mother and I, kneeling beside a muddy stream, thirst clawing at my throat. She held a swath of thin, delicate fabric in her hands, and together we ran the water through it until it came back clear.
โLike filtering cloth,โ I murmured. A small smile. โLike filtering cloth.โ
I closed my eyes and imagined it โ imagined draping a filter across my own thoughts and building a barrier between me and the world. The faint echo of Maxโs
presence dimmed further, as did the thrumming presence of the birds and fish. My own head felt quieter.
I lifted it, felt those tiny awarenesses bloom back to life.
Lowered it again.
I felt a smile begin to tug at my mouth.
โItโll take some time to master, like most things,โ Max said. โAnd youโre probably always going to feel it to some extent.โ
โGood,โ I said โ and meant it. I wouldnโt want to cut myself off completely from that part of myself, even when it was difficult. As much as it hurt me to feel the overwhelming weight of all those slavesโ emotions at the marketplace all of those years ago, their pain was already mine. I would never want to turn that away.
And the fear and anguish and anger that I felt yesterdayโฆ
My gaze fell to a little waterfall above Maxโs shoulder. The water trickling over the stones reminded me so vividly of the blood on the Palace steps that I suddenly found it difficult to breathe.
Max followed my gaze, paled slightly. I knew we were both thinking the same thing.
โThere are many things I must know,โ I said, quietly. And when Maxโs eyes found mine again, a resignation had settled into them.
He sighed. โI suppose there are.โ