โDย ad!โ Vera gasped when we walked into their shelter. Home. Hut. Whatever the fuck I was supposed to call this place. โOh my God.โ
โIโm fine.โ Cormac held up a hand streaked with blood. The bleeding had stopped and heโd done his best to wipe his nose and face clean outside before resetting the bone Iโd broken, but he still looked like shit. โI, um . . . tripped.โ
โYou tripped?โ Vera looked between us. Cormac didnโt trip.
โYeah,โ he muttered, going to a small bowl positioned against the wall. It was full of fresh water. They must have a supply somewhere close. He picked up a dingy cloth that had seen better days, then washed his face clean. But even with the blood gone, his skin was pink and swollen.
Iโd hit him with everything I had, and tomorrow, his eyes would be as black as Lylaโs had been the day weโd met. It served the asshole right. My knuckles were beginning to ache, but damn, that had felt good.
Lyla moved to my side, positioning herself as far away from Cormac as the cramped space would allow.
I put my arm around her shoulders, pinning her close, as I surveyed the single room.
Against the back wall were two bedrolls. They each rested on a wooden platform that lifted the blankets about a foot off the ground. The cots, similar to the shelterโs walls, were made from neatly cut and trimmed branches about three to four inches thick. They were held together with parachute cord. No doubt something Vera had bought during her trips into various towns.
The knots keeping the branches together were familiar and clean.
In our years together on the force, Cormac had taught me a lot, but the one area where Iโd always had more knowledge was with tying knots. Square. Bowline. Prusik. Double fishermanโs. I had the Scouts to thank for
that skill. As a kid, Iโd practiced tying knots for hours and hours. Then Iโd taught Cormac.
Then heโd used those knots to make this home for his daughter. Heโd built a place to keep her from the world. From me.
โTime to explain,โ I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
Cormac folded the bloody rag and set it aside. He looked to Vera, arching his eyebrows.
A silent conversation passed between them. Theyโd had that before too, like they could read each otherโs thoughts.
Whatever passed between them made her shake her head. โIโll get fresh water for dinner.โ
She grabbed a flashlight from a small, handmade shelf beside her bedroll, then went outside.
Cormac watched Vera leave, then exhaled. When he looked up, it wasnโt at me, but Lyla. โIโm sorry for what I did to you. Vera doesnโt know.โ
Lyla stiffened. โAnd Iโm guessing youโd like to keep it that way?โ
โI donโt have many secrets from my daughter. She knows who I am.
Youโre welcome to tell her.โ
โWhy didnโt you?โ Lyla asked.
He swallowed hard. โIโm not exactly proudโโ โThat you tried to kill me.โ
โI had no intention of killing you. I panicked. I came down lower than usual to hunt. Weโve been stocking up for winter, and itโs been stressful. When you walked up on me like that . . . not many people can sneak up on me. And besides Vera, I havenโt seen another person in a long time. Needed to make sure youโd stay quiet long enough for me to get the hell out of there.โ Cormac juddered and a strange, faraway look flashed over his face. It was almost like he couldnโt believe what heโd done. โI got spooked.โ
โSo you choked me until I nearly passed out and left me beside a gut pile, where any other predator could have come along and finished the job youโd started.โ
She wasnโt going to make this easy on him.ย Good for you, Blue.
โI watched you get up,โ he said. โI made sure you were okay. Then I followed you back to your car.โ
Lylaโs eyes narrowed. โHow do I know thatโs true?โ โYou drive a navy-blue Honda.โ
โOh,โ she muttered.
So Cormac had hurt her, then followed her to make sure she was okay. That was something, I guess. I sure as fuck wasnโt going to thank him, but maybe I shouldnโt have hit him quite so hard.
Nah.ย He deserved to be punched again for what heโd done. To all of us.
Lyla blew out a long breath and went quiet. Apparently she was done talking about the river. Time to move on to a different discussion.
โShould we wait for Vera?โ I jerked my chin at the door.
Cormac walked to his bedroll and sat down on its end, leaning his elbows on his knees. โShe wonโt talk about it. Four years and I still donโt know everything that happened that night.โ
โWhat?โ Four years and she hadnโt spoken about it. โWhy?โ
โI used to ask. Iโd beg her to tell me. Sheโd just stop talking entirely. After a while, I decided it didnโt really matter. Hadley and Elsie are gone.โ His voice cracked. โI wasnโt going to risk losing Vera too.โ
So he didnโt know what had happened? What the fuck was happening? What about Norah? The evidence was indisputable. Heโd killed her, right? Why was Vera the only one who knew what had happened?
โYou might want to sit down.โ Cormac gestured to the packed dirt floor. โVera wonโt come back inside until weโre done talking. Iโll be quick because I donโt want her outside in the dark alone too long. But thereโs a lot that happened. A lot I never told you.โ
No shit.ย I kept that comment to myself and took a seat on the floor. This would probably be the spot where weโd sleep tonight. Iโd take the ground and let Lyla sleep on my chest. There was no way Iโd risk taking her down the mountain, not on such a steep climb after nightfall.
Lyla claimed the space beside me, her body tucked close. Then we waited, both watching as Cormac stared at the door, like he wanted to be anywhere but this hut.
โBest way to do this is to start at the beginning. The very beginning,โ he said. โDid I ever tell you that Norah and I met in a bar?โ
โYes.โ Once. โYou were there with friends. She was alone. You took one look at her and ditched your crowd. Then you proposed the next day.โ
He huffed. โNot exactly how it happened. That was the story she invented for the girls. The real truth was that I was there with friends. She
was alone. I went to the menโs bathroom and found her passed out in a stall with a heroin needle stuck in her arm.โ
I flinched so violently Lyla gasped. โWhat the fuck?โ
โI didnโt propose the next day,โ Cormac said, dragging a palm over his stubbled cheek. He had more gray hair now than years ago. The white strands blended with the red. โI went to visit her in the hospital I took her to from the bar. Day after that, went back again. I told her that once she got out of rehab to call me. Iโd buy her a cookies-and-cream milkshake from my favorite diner.โ
His voice was flat. Dead. Nothing akin to the way he used to talk about his wife.
The love of his life.
This man had loved Norah with every fiber of his being. How could he talk about her without a hint of emotion?
โShe got clean. And when she left rehab, she found me. I bought her that milkshake.โ His jaw clenched like he was holding back a curse.
โWe took it slow,โ he said. โOr, weโd planned to take it slow. Until we got pregnant with Vera. That changed everything. Norah and I got married. She stayed home with the baby while I worked. And for a while, everything was perfect. Too fucking perfect, I guess. When Vera was about nine months old, I came home to find Norah passed out drunk in the bathtub. Vera was in her crib, dirty diaper, screaming. Starving. Because her mother had decided instead of eating a normal breakfast, sheโd down a liter of vodka instead.โ
This was a joke. This had to be a joke, right? A lie? Except I knew Cormac. Even after four years of hating him, I knew this was the truth. โYou never told me any of this.โ
โNo one really knew. It all happened when we were living in Alaska. Norah promised it would never happen again. She said it was postpartum depression. That and the long, dark winters. So we got her on some medication. I started searching for jobs in the lower forty-eight. Landed in Idaho.โ
Cormac was ten years older than me, and Iโd always looked up to him like a brother. Clearly, a brother I knew fuck all about. It was like heโd had this whole other life that heโd never shared.
โNorah was better after we moved. Normal seasons, sunshine, helped. Being away from her family helped. They were as toxic as those drugs
sheโd been hooked on when Iโd found her. But thereโs a reason I waited so long to have more kids. I needed to make sure Norah was solid. Stable.โ
Norah had been solid. She had been stable. Sheโd loved her daughters. Sheโd doted on them just like the rest of us. The most Iโd ever seen her drink were a couple glasses of red wine with the occasional dinner. Maybe a beer if we were all out on the boat in the heat of summer.
Sheโd been a good mother. Sheโd always made sure the girls brushed their teeth and did their homework. Sheโd braided their hair and made them eat at least two bites of vegetables before they could have a treat.
My world was tipping upside down again, like I was living in an hourglass and couldnโt figure out which way the sand was flowing. Who was the bad guy here?
Cormac? Norah?
Everything Iโd thought, everything Iโd believed, was bullshit. Iโd been living in a world of smoke and mirrors.
These people Iโd loved had omitted so much of the truth. I wasnโt sure what to think. I couldnโt trust them. I couldnโt trust my own memories.
Lylaโs hand slipped into mine.
One touch. The dizzying thoughts stopped. The frustration ebbed. I looked down into those dazzling blue eyes and found steady.
Lyla held my hand, and I held hers. And we listened as Cormac continued to repaint the past with ugly colors.
โI watched her like a hawk after the twins were born. I rarely left her alone. If I was working, Iโd have friends just randomly pop by. Iโd call constantly. She was . . . great. Happy. We were great. We were happy.โ Cormac tossed out a hand. โHell, why am I telling you this? You were there.โ
โYeah.โ Iโd been there. Iโd witnessed this great happiness. Until it had all gone up in flames.
โWhen my parents died, I used my inheritance to buy the place on the lake. Bought the boat because she wanted to teach the girls how to waterski. She got into scrapbooking because she was worried we wouldnโt remember what the girls were like when they were little. Everything was good.โ Cormac closed his eyes. โThat fucking bitch made me believe everything was good.โ
I jerked. Never, not once, had I heard Cormac call Norah a bitch. Even if theyโd been in a squabble, heโd never tarnished her name.
โThe girls were busy,โ he said. โIย was busy. We had an activity every night. Basketball. Softball. Swimming. Hadley wanted to take acting lessons. Elsie decided she wanted to write a book.โ Cormacโs eyes flooded and he sniffled, wiping away a tear. โIt still hurts . . . to say their names.โ
Which was why Iโd rarely spoken them myself.
He took a minute, breathing through the pain. There sat a father missing two beautiful daughters. Mourning two beautiful daughters.
Not a killer.
He hadnโt killed them.
Iโd believed he had, for four years. Maybe. Or maybe deep down, the reason Iโd been so determined to find him was because Iโd known in my soul he wouldnโt have murdered the girls.
He sucked in a sharp breath, pulling himself together.
โA friend of Norahโs from high school came to visit us in Idaho. I never knew the guy. He was in her life before I met her. Honestly, I didnโt think much about it. They met up once for lunch, then he was gone. Guess that lunch was all it took.โ
โTook for what?โ โTook for her to spiral.โ
No. No way. We would have seen it.
Cormac met my gaze, those sad eyes boring into mine. โYouโre thinking we should have noticed, right? If she was drinking or using, we should have seen the signs?โ
โWe should have.โ
โIย should have.โ He slapped his chest, so hard it made Lyla jump. โI should have seen it. And I didnโt have aย fuckingย clue. Not until I came home that night. Not until I found her drunk. High. Alone.โ
Cormac buried his face in his hands, like if he physically shut out the world, he could make it go away, he could stop talking about that night.
Lylaโs grip on my hand tightened as she peered at the door, like she could see Vera through the branches.
Vera had been there with Norah that night. With Hadley and Elsie. And whatever happened had likely scarred her for life.
Cormac hung his head, the tears uncatchable as they dripped to the dirt. โI kissed the girls that morning before they got on the bus, but I didnโt tell them I loved them. Should have told them I loved them. But I was in a
hurry, so I just kissed their heads and shuffled them out the door. Then I went to work.โ
With me.
Heโd come to work with me.
โNormal day.โ He sniffled. โThat thunderstorm had rolled in, but otherwise, just a normal day.โ
โYeah.โ It had been a normal day. The last normal day.
โI had that meeting at the school after work, remember? All the volunteer coaches had to go in and do their concussion training. It was an off night for once. The girls didnโt have anything. I texted Norah that Iโd bring home a pizza for dinner after the meeting.โ
Thereโd been a pizza at their houseโthe crime scene. Half pepperoni, half veggie.
It had been on the coffee table in the living room, not the kitchen. The box had been unopened, the food untouched. Like heโd gotten distracted, so the pizza had been set aside.
โShe was out of her mind.โ Cormac lowered his voice, either because it was hard to voice or because he worried Vera was within earshot. โShe kept mumbling about swimming lessons. How the girls needed more swimming lessons. How they couldnโt go out on the boat again until they had more practice swimming.โ
What the fuck? The girls had been great swimmers, especially Vera. Sheโd been on the high schoolโs swim team. There werenโt many summer weekends when Cormac and I hadnโt taken the girls tubing or waterskiing.
โI got spooked,โ he said.
It was the same thing heโd told Lyla. Was that why heโd choked her at the river? Because it had reminded him too much of Norah? Maybe heโd been thinking about his wife in that moment. Maybe heโd been thinking about his daughters, and when Lyla had surprised him, heโd snapped.
โI kept asking Norah what she was talking about,โ he said. โI got close enough and smelled the booze. Saw how glassy her eyes were. She didnโt even recognize me. She thought I was a lifeguard. She asked me if I could go get her kids from the pool because it was time for dinner.โ
They didnโt have a pool. Just the lake.
โI went outside. I screamed and screamed and screamed for the girls. The boat had been run up on the shore, not tied to the dock. The waves,
they were . . .โ A sob broke free from his mouth. โMy girls were good swimmers. But not that good. Not in that kind of storm.โ
The hut was still for a few long minutes. The only sound came from Cormac as he cried and swiped at his tears.
โI went back inside and slapped her. I slapped her so fucking hard, Vance. Just so sheโd snap out of it. Tell me what had happened.โ
The autopsy had shown an injury to her cheek. The cause of death, strangulation. Thereโd been alcohol in her bloodstream, but weโd all assumed sheโd had one too many glasses of wine from the open bottle in the kitchen. Thereโd been no note of drugs. Though depending on what sheโd been on, some substances like LSD metabolized quickly. Still, would the medical examiner have even thought to test for narcotics?
Small town. Well-known family. Tragic incident. Not a single person, including me, had thought to investigateย Norah.
Not when Cormac had run and cemented his guilt in our minds.
โShe said she took them out for swimming lessons.โ Cormac looked at the door.
My gaze tracked his.
Outside was the only person who knew what had happened on that
boat.
fact.
โI killed her.โ
I whipped back to face him. There was no remorse in his voice. Just
โShe drowned them. She drowned my little girls.โ His eyes blazed
behind more tears. โSo I killed her.โ
This was why heโd run. All the evidence that had pointed to him was true. Heโd killed Norah.
That fucking bitch.
Four years, Iโd blamed Cormac for their deaths. I guess Iโd get the next forty to hate Norah for it instead.
Lyla swiped at her own cheek, catching a few tears for kids sheโd never known. I loved her for that too. She leaned deeper into my side, a silent hug, then held tight to my hand while we waited for Cormac to dry his face.
โSorry.โ He shook his head, sitting taller. โIโve never talked about this.โ
โNot with Vera?โ I asked.
โNo. We donโt . . . itโs easier.โ
Easier if they didnโt mention that night. Easier if they didnโt speak Hadleyโs or Elsieโs names.
โI had the girls cremated,โ I blurted.
Norah and Cormacโs will had requested they be buried in plots theyโd purchased at a cemetery. But there hadnโt been any specific wishes for the girls. Parents didnโt plan for their childrenโs deaths. There hadnโt been two open spaces beside Norah in the cemetery, just the one for Cormac. And I hadnโt wanted to separate the twins.
A blessing now that I knew the truth. So Iโd had them cremated. โRemember that trail we found ages ago, the one that led to that
meadow with all the wildflowers?โ Cormac nodded.
โI took their ashes there.โ It had been the hardest day of my life.
He put a hand over his heart, like he was trying to keep it from breaking. โI knew youโd take care of them.โ
While heโd been taking care of Vera. โHow did you find Vera?โ I asked.
โAfter Norah, I took the boat out. I didnโt have a damn clue where to look. It was dark. Pouring rain. Waves crashing over the hull. Stayed out until I was sure Iโd drown with them. I only came back to shore because I needed more gas. Then there she was, lying on the dock. Soaking wet. Numb. She made it back. Her sisters didnโt.โ
Lyla leaned into my arm, muffling the sound of her own crying in the sleeve of my coat.
Oh, God. My throat closed. My nose burned. My own eyes blurred with tears, one cascading down my cheek.
What horror had Vera survived? How scared had the twins been before theyโd been pulled under?
I pinched the bridge of my nose, breathing from my mouth as my heart broke for what felt like the thousandth time.
Hadley and Elsie were gone. Killed by their mother, not father. And goddamn it, I missed them.
It wasnโt fair. It wasnโt fucking fair. โIโm sorry,โ I whispered.
โMe too.โ โWhyโd you run?โ
Cormac shrugged. โIt was either run or go to prison. I wasnโt leaving Vera, not after that.โ
So heโd found a way for them to stay together. โVera said youโre leaving Montana,โ Lyla said.
Cormac nodded. โWe canโt stay. If Vance found me, itโs only a matter of time before someone else stumbles upon us. Weโve been here too long anyway.โ
My stomach knotted at the idea of him taking her away. Of disappearing again.
โWhere will you go?โ
โThe goal was always to get to Canada, but a couple years ago, we were coming through this area and Vera got sick. Found this place. She didnโt want to leave.โ
โI still donโt want to leave.โ Vera pushed through the door, arms crossed over her chest.
How long had she been listening?
โItโs not up for debate.โ Cormac stood, his hair nearly brushing the shelterโs roof. Heโd made this home just tall enough that he could walk without bumping his head.
โIโm not going this time,โ she said. โNot again.โ โAnd what will you do? Live here? Alone?โ
Vera sighed, dropping her chin. โYou could stay.โ
He crossed the space, pulling her into his arms. โYou know why I canโt.โ
No, he couldnโt stay. And this wasnโt a life for a twenty-one-year-old young woman. She deserved more.
She deserved the world.
โShe can come with me.โ I shoved to my feet, helping Lyla to hers. Maybe Cormac couldnโt stay. Maybe he was okay living a life off the grid. But that wasnโt a life for Vera.
โWhat?โ Cormac whirled, a glare on his face.
โYou really want this to be her life?โ I circled a finger in the air.
His glare flicked to the roof heโd put over their heads. Then it vanished, faster than I could blink. Heโd probably thought about this already. Heโd likely looked into the future and known something would eventually have to give.
This was not the life heโd wanted for his daughter.
He faced her, giving her a sad smile. But when he spoke, his voice was firm. Absolute. โYouโre going with Vance.โ
Maybe heโd expected Vera to argue. But she whispered, โOkay.โ