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Chapter no 49

Crave by Tracy Wolff

โ€ŒIs That aโ€Œ

Wooden Stake in Your Pocket or Are You Just

Happy to See Me?

For one second, two, panic immobilizes me. Makes it so I canโ€™t feel, canโ€™t think, canโ€™t breathe as I waitโ€ฆfor pain, for emptiness, for death.

But as time goes by and the agony Iโ€™m expecting doesnโ€™t come, my adrenaline stops shooting like a geyser, and I realize that whatever Jaxon is doing to me doesnโ€™t hurt at all. In fact, it feels really, reallyโ€ฆgood.

Pleasure like molten honey pours through my veins, lighting up my nerve endings and swamping me with an intensity, a need I never imagined existed. My already weak knees give out entirely, and I sag against him, letting him hold me up with his long, lean body and firm arms as I tilt my head to give him better access.

He growls at the invitation, a deep, rumbling sound that burrows deep inside me even as the ground shakes a little beneath my feet. And then the pleasure increases, lighting me up, turning me inside out, making me tremble even as I forget how to breathe. How to be.

I press myself even more tightly against him, wind my arms up and over my head so that I can tangle my fingers in his hair. Cup his jaw in my palm. Push my skin more firmly against his mouth as my eyes drift closed.

Iโ€™m desperate for moreโ€”desperate for Jaxon and whatever he wants to give me or take from me. But heโ€™s obviously got more control than I can even imagine, because just as the pleasure threatens to overwhelm me, he pulls back, pulls away, his tongue stroking softly over his bite marks. The caress sends a whole new volley of emotions straight through me.

I stay where I am, body resting against his, hands clutching onto whatever part of him I can reach, totally dependent on him to keep me from falling as little darts of pleasure continue to zing through me. Theyโ€™re followed by a creeping lassitude that makes it impossible for me to so much as lift my lids, let alone step away from Jaxon.

As if I would.

โ€œAre you okay?โ€ he murmurs against my ear, his voice soft and warm in a way Iโ€™ve never heard from him before.

โ€œAre you kidding?โ€ I answer just as softly. โ€œI donโ€™t think Iโ€™ve ever been this okay in my life. That wasโ€ฆamazing.ย Youโ€™reย amazing.โ€

He laughs. โ€œYeah, well, being a vampire doesnโ€™t come with many perks, so youโ€™ve got to take them where you can find them.โ€

โ€œObviously.โ€ Eyes still closed, I turn my head. Raise my face to his. Purse my lips. And pray Jaxon doesnโ€™t shy away from me.

He doesnโ€™t, his lips pressing against mine in a tender kiss that has my breath catching all over again, though for very different reasons. Moments pass, and he starts to lift his head, but I hold on, wanting just a little more of him.

Just a little more of this boy who has such power and such

tenderness inside him.

He gives it to me, his mouth moving against mine, his tongue stroking along my bottom lip until, finally, I find the strength to let him go.

I pull back, open my eyes slowly, and find Jaxon staring down at me, his dark gaze filled with so much emotion, I donโ€™t know whether to laugh or weep.

โ€œNo oneโ€™s going to hurt you again, Grace,โ€ he whispers. โ€œI know,โ€ I whisper back. โ€œYou made sure of it.โ€

Surprise glows in the depths of his obsidian eyes. โ€œI didnโ€™t think you believedโ€”โ€ He breaks off as the ground rumbles beneath our feet.

โ€œWe should get under the doorway,โ€ I tell him, glancing around for the closest one.

But he just closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. Moments later, the ground settles back down.

Shock explodes inside me. โ€œYouโ€”โ€ My voice breaks, and I clear my throat. Try again. โ€œThe earthquakes. Theyโ€™re you?โ€

He nods, looks wary.

โ€œEven the big ones?โ€ I ask, and I can feel my eyes going wide. โ€œAll of them?โ€

โ€œIโ€™m so sorry.โ€ His fingers stroke over my still-bandaged neck. โ€œI never meant to hurt you.โ€

โ€œI know.โ€ I turn my head, kiss his palm even as astonishment continues to ricochet inside me. How can anyone be so powerful that they actually move the earth? Itโ€™s incomprehensible, unimaginable. โ€œDoes this happen often?โ€

He shakes his head, shrugs, like heโ€™s as baffled as I am. โ€œItโ€™s never happenedโ€ฆbefore.โ€

โ€œBefore?โ€ I ask.

โ€œBefore you.โ€ He pulls me more tightly against him. โ€œI learned control earlyโ€”over myself and my abilities. I had to orโ€ฆโ€

โ€œCities would crumble?โ€ I ask, tongue firmly in cheek.

โ€œI wouldnโ€™t put it exactly like that. But I swear, Iโ€™ve got it under control now. I wonโ€™t hurt you again.โ€ His mouth slides along my cheek, over my jaw, down my neck.

Heat moves through me at the first touch of his lips. It makes me tremble. Makes me want.

I pull his mouth back down to mine and let the need, and the pleasure, sweep me away.

The kiss goes on and on, until weโ€™re both breathless.

Shaky. Desperate.

I arch against him in an effort to be closer, then run my hands over his arms, his shoulders, his back. My fingers tangle in his hair, and he groans low in his throat. Then bites down gently on my lip, sucking at it just a little, until it feels like the Fourth of July deep inside me.

I gasp, shudder, and Jaxon uses my still-weak knees as an excuse to pull away. I try to hold him in place, try to keep his lips and skin and body on mine. But he just smooths a hand over my hair and whispers, โ€œCome on.โ€

He takes my hand in his and tugs me toward his bedroom.

I follow himโ€”of course I doโ€”but as he leads the way, I canโ€™t help but notice that his once neat reading alcove is now an utter disaster.

Books cover the floor, some lying down, some standing up, some leaning drunkenly against furniture halfway in between. The couch is upside down and the gorgeous old

coffee table I liked so much is now splintered into little more than wood chips.

โ€œWhatโ€”what happened?โ€ I gasp, bending down to pick up a few books that are directly in my path.

Jaxon takes them from me with a shake of his head, tosses them onto the bottom of the couch, which is now facing up. โ€œI promised you the earthquake thing isnโ€™t going to happen anymore,โ€ he answers. โ€œBut itโ€™s going to take a little time for me to figure out how to control all the things you make me feel.โ€

โ€œThisย is learning how to control it?โ€ I step over a pile of

rubble that Iโ€™m pretty sure used to be a bookcase and try to pretend his words arenโ€™t making me melt deep inside.

He turns me inside out with a look, destroys me with a kiss. But this? This makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, he feels as much for me as I feel for him.

He shrugs. โ€œThe earth barely shook this time, and no window broke. Thatโ€™s definite progress.โ€

โ€œI guess.โ€ I swallow down the softness he makes bloom inside me and make a show of looking at the scattered wood chips instead. โ€œI really liked that coffee table.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll find you one you like more.โ€ He tugs on my hand. โ€œCome on.โ€

We make our way to his room, which thankfully seems to have been spared the destruction suffered by the reading alcove. It looks exactly the same as last time, complete with gorgeous paintings on the walls and musical instruments in the corner.

โ€œI love your room,โ€ I tell him, trailing a hand over his dresser as I make my way to the drum kit. I resisted it last

time, know I should resist it this time, since what has happened so far today has left us with a lot to talk about.

But itโ€™s been weeks since Iโ€™ve sat behind a kit, weeks since Iโ€™ve held a set of drumsticks in my hands, and I just need to touch it. Just need to run my hands over the skins.

โ€œYou play?โ€ Jaxon asks as I rest my hand on the top of one of the toms.

โ€œI used to, beforeโ€ฆโ€ I trail off. I donโ€™t want to talk about my parents right now, donโ€™t want to bring that sadness into my first conversation with Jaxon postโ€ฆwhatever that was.

He seems to get it, because he doesnโ€™t push. Instead, he smiles, really smiles, and it lights up his whole face. Lights up the whole room. Definitely lights up all the dark and sad places Iโ€™ve been holding on to for too long.

It isnโ€™t until I see his smile that I realize how much heโ€™s been holding back, how much heโ€™s been holdingย inย for who knows how long.

โ€œWant to play something now?โ€ he asks.

โ€œNo.โ€ Itโ€™s my turn to hold a hand out to him. I pull him toward the bed, waiting until he chooses a side to sit on before I plop down on the other side. โ€œI want to talk.โ€

โ€œAbout?โ€ he deadpans even as a wariness creeps into his gaze that hasnโ€™t been there since he bit me.

โ€œOh, I donโ€™t know. The weather?โ€ I tease because Iโ€™m trying to be nonchalant about this whole thing. Trying to tell myself that finding out the boy Iโ€™m falling for is a vampire who can literally shake the earth really isnโ€™t that big of a deal.

He rolls his eyes, but Iโ€™m watching closely and see the corners of his mouth turning up in the smile heโ€™s trying so

hard to hide.

It makes the nonchalance totally worth it, even as I scramble with trying to wrap my head around everything thatโ€™s happened today. And everything thatโ€™s happened in the last six days. Because there is still a tiny part of me freaking out about the fact that I let a vampire bite meโ€” even if that vampire is Jaxon. And even if I enjoyed it way more than I ever imagined I would.

But now is not the time for me to freak out, not when Jaxon is already so on edge. So I settle for giving him a playfulย donโ€™t mess with meย look even as I lay down on one side of his bed.

Jaxon lifts a brow as he watches me make myself comfortable, then stretches out next to me. I donโ€™t miss the fact that he makes sure not to touch me at all as he does.

Which is completely unacceptable. Iโ€™m trying to close the distance between us, not make it bigger. But I appreciate the fact that heโ€™s working so hard not to freak me out. I just wish he realized that Iโ€™m not the one whoโ€™s freaked out here.

But since I want to get the guarded look out of his eyes, I decide to tackle that subject later. For now, Iโ€™m going with, โ€œDid you hear the joke about the roof?โ€

โ€œExcuse me?โ€ He lifts a single disdainful browโ€”which means I have to work really hard to hide how googly-eyed it makes me when he does it.

โ€œNever mind.โ€ I give him a cheesy grin. โ€œItโ€™s over your head.โ€

He stares at me, bemused, for several seconds. Then he shakes his head and says, โ€œSomehow, they always get

worse.โ€

โ€œYou have no idea.โ€ I roll over until Iโ€™m on my stomachโ€” and then scoot so the right side of my body is pressed to the left side of his. โ€œWhatโ€™s the difference between a guitar and a fish?โ€

Both brows go up this time, even as he answers, โ€œI donโ€™t think I want to know.โ€

I ignore him. โ€œYou can tune a guitar but you canโ€™t tuna fish.โ€

He lets out a bark of laughter that startles both of us. Then he shakes his head and tells me, โ€œItโ€™s an actual sickness with you, isnโ€™t it?โ€

โ€œItโ€™s fun, Jaxon.โ€ I give him the most obnoxious smirk I can manage. โ€œYou know what fun is, donโ€™t you?โ€

He rolls his eyes. โ€œI think I have a vague recollection of that emotion, yeah.โ€

โ€œGood. What do you call a dinosaur thatโ€”?โ€

He cuts me off with a kiss and a yank. The kiss curls my toes, but the yankโ€ฆthe yank curls everything else. Especially when he pulls me over so that Iโ€™m on top of him, my knees straddling his hips and my curls forming a curtain around us.

Jaxon takes hold of a lock of my hair, then watches as the curl twines around his finger. โ€œI love your hair,โ€ he says, pulling on the curl just to release it and watch it boing back into place.

โ€œYeah, well, Iโ€™m pretty fond of yours, too,โ€ I tell him, sliding my fingers through his black strands.

As I do, my palm brushes against his scar, and he stiffens before turning his head away so that Iโ€™m no longer touching

it.

โ€œWhy do you do that?โ€ I ask. โ€œDo what?โ€

I give him a look that says he knows exactly what Iโ€™m talking about. โ€œI already told you that youโ€™re the sexiest guy Iโ€™ve ever seenโ€”and that includes a lot of pretty impressive San Diego surf gods. So I donโ€™t understand why it bothers you so much if I see your scar.โ€

He shrugs. “It doesn’t bother me if you see my scar.”

I don’t believe him, but I’ll play alongโ€”for now. “Fine, it doesn’t bother you if I see it, but it definitely bothers you if I touch it.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “That doesn’t bother me either.”

“Okay, I’m sorry, but I call bullshit.” To prove it, I lean down and press a series of hot, openmouthed kisses along his jaw. I don’t deliberately touch his scar, but I don’t avoid it either. Sure enough, he lasts only a few seconds before threading his fingers through my hair and gently pressing my face into the crook of his neck.

Before I can say anything, he takes a deep breath and says, “It’s not that I think you’ll be disgusted by my scar or anythingโ€”you’re not that shallow.”

“Then why does it bother you so much if I go near it?”

He doesn’t answer right away, and as the silence stretches between us, I think he won’t answer at all. But just when I’ve given up, he says, “Because it reminds me of how I got it, and I don’t want you anywhere near that world. And I sure as hell don’t want that world anywhere near you.”

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