Life is strange.
I have no idea how I went from working at the salon this morning, to an appointment at a law o๏ฌce this afternoon, to working at an art studio tonight, to walking into a bar for theย rst time in my life.
I was too embarrassed to tell Owen Iโve never been to a bar before, but Iโm pretty sure he could tell by my hesitation at the door. I didnโt know what to expect when we walked in because Iโm not yet twenty-one. I reminded Owen of this and he shook his head and told me not to mention it if Harrison asks for ID. โJust tell him you left it at the studio and Iโll vouch for you.โ
Itโs deย nitely not what I expected a bar would look like. I imagined disco balls and a huge, central danceย oor, and John Travolta. In reality, this bar is much less dramatic than I imagined. Itโs quiet, and I could probably count the number of occupants on both hands.ย ere are more tables covering the
oor than there is room to dance. And thereโs no disco ball anywhere in sight. Iโm a little disappointed by that.
Owen weaves through a few tables until he gets to the back of the dimly lit room. He pulls out a stool and motions for me to sit while he takes the one next to it.
ereโs a guy at the other end of the bar who looks up at us just as Iโm taking my seat, and I assume this is Harrison. He looks to be in his late twenties, with a head full of curly, red hair.ย e combination of his fair skin and the fact that there are four-leaf clovers on almost every sign in this place makes me wonder if heโs Irish or if he just wishes he were.
I know it shouldnโt surprise me that this guy owns a bar and appears this young, because if everyone around here is anything like Owen, this city must be full of young entrepreneurs. Great.ย Makes me feel even more out of place.
Harrison nods his head in Owenโs direction and then brieย y glances at me. He doesnโt stare long, and then his eyes are back on Owenโs with a perplexed look. I donโt know what has this guy confused, but Owen ignores the look he shoots him and turns to face me.
โYou were great tonight,โ he says. His chin is resting in his hand and heโs smiling. His compliment makes me smile back, or maybe itโs just him. Heโs got such an innocent, charming vibe.ย e way his eyes crinkle in the corners makes his smile seem more genuine than other peopleโs.
โSo were you.โ We both just continue to smile at each other and I realize that although bars arenโt typically my scene, Iโm actually enjoying myself. I havenโt in so long, and I donโt know why Owen seems to extract a whole di๏ฌerent side of me, but I like it. I also know that I have so many other things I should be focusing on right now, but itโs one night. One drink. What harm can it do?
He lays his arm on the bar and swivels his chair until heโs facing me full- on. I do the same, but the chairs are really close together and our knees end up overlapping. He adjusts himself until one of my knees is between both of his, and one of his is between both of mine. We arenโt too close and itโs not as though weโre rubbing our legs together, but theyโre deย nitely touching and itโs kind of an intimate way to be seated with someone I barely know. He looks down at our legs.
โAre weย irting?โ
Now weโre looking at each other again and weโre both still grinning and it hits me that I donโt think either of us has stopped grinning since we left his studio.
I shake my head. โI donโt know how toย irt.โ
He looks back down at our legs and is about to comment when Harrison approaches us. He leans forward and casually rests his arms on the bar, placing his attention on Owen.
โHowโd it go?โ
Harrison is deย nitely Irish. I almost canโt even understand him, his accent is so thick.
Owen smiles in my direction. โPretty damn good.โ
Harrison nods and then focuses on me. โYou must be Hannah.โ He reaches his hand out to me. โIโm Harrison.โ
I donโt look at Owen, but I can hear him clearing his throat. I take Harrisonโs hand and shake it. โNice to meet you, Harrison, but Iโm actually Auburn.โ
Harrisonโs eyes grow wide and he slowly turns back to Owen. โShit, man,โ he says, laughing apologetically. โI canโt keep up with you.โ
Owen waves it o๏ฌ. โItโsย ne,โ he says. โAuburn knows about Hannah.โ
I donโt really. Iโm assuming Hannah is the girl who just dumped him.
e only thing I do know is that Owen told me coming to this bar after a showing was tradition. So Iโm curious how Harrison has never met Hannah if sheโs worked shows for Owen before. Owen looks at me and can see the confusion on my face.
โI never brought her here.โ
โOwen has never brought anyone here,โ Harrison o๏ฌers. He looks back at Owen. โWhat happened to Hannah?โ
Owen shakes his head like he doesnโt really want to talk about it. โย e usual.โ
Harrison doesnโt ask what โthe usualโ is, so Iโm assuming he understands exactly what happened to Hannah. I just wish I knew what โthe usualโ meant.
โWhat can I get you to drink, Auburn?โ Harrison asks.
I look at Owen a little wide-eyed, because I have no idea what to order. Iโve never ordered a drink before, considering Iโm not yet old enough to do so. He understands my expression and immediately turns back to Harrison. โBring us two Jack and Cokes,โ he says. โAnd an order of cheese sticks.โ
Harrison taps the bar with hisย st and says, โComing right up.โ He begins to turn around but quickly faces Owen again. โOh, weโre all out of cheese sticks. Travesty. Cheese fries okay?โ
I try not to frown, but I was really looking forward to cheese sticks.
Owen looks at me and I nod. โSounds good,โ I say.
Harrison smiles and begins to turn around but then faces me yet again. โYouโre over twenty-one, right?โ
I quickly nod, and for a second I see doubt appear in his expression, but he turns and walks away without asking for my identiย cation.
โYouโre a horrible liar,โ Owen laughs. I expel a breath. โI donโt normally lie.โ โI can see why,โ he says.
He adjusts his position on the stool, and our legs brush together again.
He smiles. โWhatโs your story, Auburn?โ
Here we go.ย e moment when I usually call it a night before the night even gets started.
โWhoa,โ he says. โWhatโs the look for?โ
I realize I must be frowning when he says this. โMy story is that I have a very private life and I donโt like to talk about it.โ
He smiles, which isnโt the reaction I was expecting. โSounds a lot like my story.โ
Harrison is back with the drinks, saving us from what was about to become a failed conversation. We both take a drink at the same time, but his goes down a whole lot smoother than mine does. Despite being underage, Iโve had a few drinks in the past with friends back in Portland, but this is a tad strong for my taste. I cover my mouth to cough and Owen, of course, smiles again.
โWell, since neither of us feels like talking at all, do you at least dance?โ He glances over my shoulder at the small, empty danceย oor on the opposite side of the room.
I immediately shake my head.
โHow did I know that would be your answer?โ He stands up. โCome on.โ
I shake my head again and almost instantly, my mood changes.ย ereโs no way Iโm dancing with him, especially to whatever slow song just started playing. He grabs my hand and tries to pull me up, but Iโm gripping my chair with my other hand, ready toย ght him o๏ฌย if I have to.
โYou really donโt want to dance?โ he asks. โI really donโt want to dance.โ
He stares at me for a few quiet seconds and then takes a seat back in his chair. He leans forward and motions for me to come closer. He still has hold of my hand, and I feel his thumb brush slightly over mine. He continues to lean toward me until his mouth is close to my ear. โTen seconds,โ he whispers. โJust give me ten seconds on the danceย oor. If you still donโt want to dance with me after my time is up, you can walk away.โ
ere are chills on my arms and legs and neck, and his voice is so soothing and convincing, I can feel myself nodding before I even know what Iโm agreeing to.
But ten seconds is simple. Ten seconds I can do. Ten seconds isnโt enough time to embarrass myself. And after his time is up, Iโll come back and sit down and heโll leave me alone about dancing, hopefully.
Heโs standing again, pulling me toward the danceย oor. Iโm relieved the place is relatively empty. Even though weโll be the only ones dancing, the place is deserted enough that I wonโt feel like Iโm the center of attention.
We reach the danceย oor and he slips a hand to my lower back. โOne,โ I whisper.
He smiles when he realizes Iโm actually counting. He uses his other hand to position my hands around his neck. Iโve seen couples dance enough to know how to stand, at least.
โTwo.โ
He shakes his head with a laugh and wraps his free hand around my lower back, pulling me against him.
โย ree.โ
He begins to sway, and this is where dancing becomes confusing to me. I have no idea what to do next. I look down at our feet, hoping to get an idea of what Iโm supposed to do with mine. He rests his forehead against mine and also looks down at our feet. โJust follow my lead,โ he says. His hands slide to my waist and he gently guides my hips in the direction he wants me to move.
โFour,โ I whisper as I move with him.
I can feel him relaxing just a little bit when he sees Iโve got it down. His hands slip to my back once again and he pulls me even closer. Naturally, my arms loosen slightly and I lean into him.
His smell is intoxicating and before I realize what Iโm doing, my eyes are closed and Iโm inhaling the scent of him. He still smells like he just stepped out of the shower, even though itโs been hours.
I think I like dancing.
It feels very natural, as if dancing is part of a humanโs biological purpose. Itโs a lot like sex, actually. I have about as much experience with sex as I do with dancing, but I deย nitely remember every moment I spent with
Adam. It can be very intimate, the way two bodies come together and somehow know exactly what to do and exactly how toย t while doing it.
I can feel my pulse getting faster and warmth spreading over me, and itโs been so long since Iโve felt this way. I wonder if itโs the dancing thatโs doing this to me or if itโs Owen. Iโve never slow-danced before, so I have no other dance to compare it to.ย e only thing I have to measure this feeling against is the way Adam used to make me feel, and this is pretty close to that. Itโs been a long time since Iโve wanted someone to kiss me.
Or maybe itโs just been a long time since Iโve allowed myself to feel this way.
Owen lifts his hand to the back of my head and lowers his mouth to my ear. โItโs been ten seconds,โ he whispers. โDo you want to stop?โ
I shake my head softly.
I canโt see his face, but I know heโs smiling. He pulls me against his chest and rests his chin on top of my head. I close my eyes and breathe him in again.
We dance like this until the song ends, and Iโm not sure if Iโm supposed to let goย rst or if heโs supposed to let goย rst, but neither of us does. Another song begins and luckily, itโs slow like the last one, so we just keep moving as though theย rst song never ended.
I donโt know when Owen began moving his hand away from the back of my head, but itโs slowly moving down my back, making my arms and legs feel so weak, I question their existence. Iย nd myself wishing he would pick me up and carry me, preferably straight to his bed.
His initials are very appropriate for the way heโs making me feel right now. I want to whisper, โOMG,โ over and over.
I pull away from his chest and look up at him. Heโs not smiling right now. Heโs piercing me with eyes that seem a thousand shades darker than when we walked into this bar.
I unlock my hands, and I slide one against his neck. Iโm surprised I feel comfortable enough to do this, and even more surprised by his reaction. He exhales softly and I can feel the chills erupt over the skin on his neck as his eyes fall shut and his forehead meets mine.
โIโm pretty sure I just fell in love with this song,โ he says. โAnd I hate this song.โ
I laugh a little and he pulls me closer, resting my head against his chest. We donโt speak, and we donโt stop dancing until the song ends.ย e third song begins to play and it isnโt something Iโm willing to dance to, considering itโs not a slow song. When we both accept that the dance is over, we inhale simultaneous breaths and begin to separate.
His expression is full of concentrated intent, and as much as I like his smile, I also really like it when he looks at me like this. My arms leave his neck and his hands leave my waist and weโre both standing on the dance
oor, staring at each other awkwardly, and Iโm not sure what to do now.
โย e thing about dancing,โ he says, folding his arms across his chest, โis that no matter how good it feels when youโre doing it, itโs always extremely awkward when itโs over.โ
It makes me feel good to know that itโs not just me who doesnโt know what to do now. His hand touches my shoulder, and he urges me back toward the bar. โWe have drinks toย nish.โ
โAnd fries to eat,โ I add.
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He didnโt ask me to dance again. In fact, as soon as we got back to the bar, he seemed like he was in a hurry to get out of there. I ate most of the fries while he chatted with Harrison a little more. He could tell I wasnโt really digging my drink, so heย nished it for me. Now weโre walking back outside and it feels a little bit awkward again, like when the dance came to an end. Only now, itโs the entire night thatโs coming to an end, and I hate that I really donโt want to say good-bye to him yet. But Iโm certainly not about to suggest we go back to his studio.
โWhich way is your place?โ he asks.
My eyes swing to his and Iโm shocked by his forwardness. โYou arenโt coming over,โ I immediately say.
โAuburn,โ he says, laughing, โitโs late. Iโm o๏ฌering to walk you home, not asking to spend the night.โ
I inhale, embarrassed at my assumption. โOh.โ I point to the right. โIโm aboutย fteen blocks that way.โ
He smiles and waves a hand in that direction, and we both begin walking. โBut if Iย wereย asking to spend the night . . .โ
I laugh and push him playfully. โI would tell you to fuck o๏ฌ.โ
