Iย pull into a parking garage across the street from her apartment so Trey doesnโt see my car.
When Iโm out of my car and across the street, I keep running until Iโm
beating on her front door.
โAuburn!โ I keep knocking. โAuburn, let me in!โ
I can hear the locks begin to unlatch one by one, and with each lock that opens, I somehow grow more and more nervous. When sheย nally opens the door, and I see her standing in front of me, every part of me exhales, even my heart.
Remnants of tears line her cheeks, and the two seconds it takes to enter her apartment and pull her to me feel like an hour too long. โAre you okay?โ
Her arms wrap around me and I reach back to shut the door. I lock it and then pull her to me just as she nods.
โIโmย ne.โ
Her voice is anything butย ne. She sounds terriย ed. I push her away from me until sheโs at armโs length, and I take her in.
Her hair is a mess. Her shirt is torn.
Her lip is bleeding.
Her head is moving back and forth and sheโs telling me no. She can see the fury in my eyes, just as I turn around and begin to unlock the door.
He can fuck with me all he wants. I draw the line when it comes to her. Her hands are on my arms, pulling me away from the door. โOwen,
stop.โ I swing open the door and step into the hall, but she pushes herself in
front of me and puts her hands on my chest. โYouโre angry. Calm down
rst. Please.โ
I breathe in and out, attempting to calm myself down. But only because she said please. I hope she neverย nds out that hearing her say that one word could convince me to do anything she wants. Ever.
She urges me back inside her apartment. I walk to the counter and rest my arms on it, pressing my forehead against them.
I close my eyes, and I contemplate.
I think about what he might do next. I think about where he might go. I think about where she needs to be so that sheโs safe from him.
I donโt have answers to any of those thoughts, other than the last one.
She needs to be with me. Iโm not letting her out of my sight tonight.
I straighten up and turn around to face her. โGet your things. Weโre leaving.โ
 |
I choose to take her to a hotel for the night because I donโt trust her being at my studio with me. Iโm still not sure what happened between the two of them and I donโt know what heโs capable of at this point.
She looks over her shoulder the entire way to our room, so I take her hand in mine and try to give her reassurance that sheโs safe for the night.
Once weโre inside the hotel room and I shut the door, it feels as though the air is di๏ฌerent in here. Like thereโs more of it, because sheโsย nally able to breathe a sigh of relief. I hate that sheโs been so worried, and knowing that Trey is a huge part of her life makes me even more concerned for her.
She slips her shoes o๏ฌย and takes a seat on the bed. I sit down beside her and take her hand in mine again.
โWill you tell me what happened?โ
She inhales slowly with another nod. โHe showed up right before I saw your texts. Atย rst, I didnโt think he was capable of doing something like you were suggesting, but when he walked into my room, I saw it.ย ere was something in the way he looked at me.ย eย rst thing he did was ask about Sparkles.โ
I donโt want to interrupt her, but I have no idea what Sparkles means. โSparkles?โ
She shoots me a quick, embarrassed smile. โI told him Owen-Cat was Emoryโs, and that her name was Sparkles.โ
I shake my head in confusion. โWhy would he ask about my cat?โ As soon as the question leaves my mouth, the answer becomes clear. โHe was in my studio,โ I say. โHe must have seen her and put two and two together.โ
She nods, but she stops talking. I wait for her to continue her story, but she doesnโt.
โWhat happened next?โ She shrugs. โHe just . . .โ
She starts crying, quietly, so I give her a minute to continue at her own pace.
โHe started talking about AJ and buying a house and . . . then he started kissing me. When I asked him to stop . . .โ She pauses again and inhales a quick breath. โHe said something about me and you being together in your bed, and thatโs when I knew he read my confession. I tried to get away but he held me down.ย atโs when Emory walked in.โ
I should have gotten there faster, but thank God for Emory.
โย atโs all that happened, Owen. He stopped, and then he left.โ
I lift my hand to her lip and touch the area next to where sheโs bleeding. โAnd here? Did he do this?โ
She glances down and nods. I hate seeing the shame in her expression.
at should be the last thing sheโs feeling right now.
โDid you call the police? Do you want to call them now?โ I begin to lift o๏ฌย the bed to get the phone for her, but her eyes widen and she begins shaking her head back and forth.
โNo,โ she says. โOwen, I canโt report this.โ
I pause for a moment, just to make sure I heard her right. I release her and sit up straighter, facing her directly. My head tilts in confusion.
โTrey attacks you in your own apartment, and you arenโt going to report him?โ
She looks away, more shame in her expression. โDo you know what would happen if I reported him? Lydia would blame me. She would never let me see AJ.โ
โLook at me, Auburn.โ
She turns her head and I take her face in my hands. โHe attacked you. Lydia may be a bitch, but no one would ever blame you for reporting
something like this.โ
She pulls away from my hands and shakes her head softly. โHe knows I slept with you, Owen. Of course heโs going to be angry afterย nding out I cheated on him.โ
I close my eyes. My heart is beating so hard; I think it needs out of this room. โYouโreย defendingย him?โ
e silence that follows crushes me. I stand up and walk away from the bed, toward the window.
I try to understand it. I try to make sense of it, but it makes no fucking sense at all.
โYou didnโt report him for breaking into your studio. Itโs the same thing.โ I immediately spin around and face her. โย atโs only because Iโve ruined my credibility, Auburn. It would look like a pathetic act of revenge if I blamed Trey for that. Heโd get away with it, and I would only make things
worse for myself.
โYou, on the other handโhe physicallyย attackedย you.ย ereโs absolutely no reason in the world why that shouldnโt be reported. Not reporting it will make him feel like itโs an invitation to do it again.โ
Rather than argue with me, she calmly stands and walks toward me. She wraps her arms around my waist and buries her face into my chest. I wrap my arms tightly around her in return. Iโm suddenly a lot calmer than I was a few seconds ago.
โOwen,โ she says, her words slightly mu๏ฌed by my shirt, โyou arenโt a father, so I canโt expect you to understand my decisions. If I report him, things will only get worse. I have to do whatever I can to keep my relationship with my son intact. If that includes forgiving Trey and having to apologize to him for what happened between you and me . . . then thatโs what I have to do. I canโt expect you to understand that, but I need you to support it. You donโt know what itโs like to give up your entire life for someone.โ
Not only do her words physically hurt me, they also terrify me. Even after this, she still doesnโt see how dangerous that man is.
โIf you love your son, Auburn . . . you will keep him as far away from Trey as possible. Forgiving him is the worst choice you could make.โ
She pulls away from my chest and looks up at me. โItโs not a choice, Owen. If it were a choice, that would mean I have other options. I donโt. Itโs
just what I have to do.โ
I close my eyes and take her face in my hands. I press my forehead to hers, and I just stand there with her. I listen to her breathe, and I try to make sense of her words. Sheโs telling herself that I donโt understand because Iโve never been in her position. She thinks all the mistakes Iโve made in the past were made out of selย shness, rather than complete selย essness.
Weโre more alike than she thinks.
โAuburn,โ I say quietly, โI understand completely that you want to be with your son, but sometimes in order to save a relationship, you have to sacriย ce itย rst.โ
She pulls herself from my grip. She takes several steps away from me before turning around. โWhat relationship have you ever had to sacriย ce?โ
I lift my head slowly, looking at her with everything that I have. โUs, Auburn. Iโve had to sacriย ceย us.โ
