Are you expecting company?โ I ask Emory. Someone is knocking on our door, so I look down at my phone. Itโs after ten.
She shakes her head. โItโs not for me. Humans donโt like me.โ
I laugh and make my way to the door. When I look through the peephole and see Trey, I sigh heavily.
โWhoever it is, you seem disappointed,โ Emory saysย atly. โMust be your boyfriend.โ She stands and makes her way toward her bedroom, and Iโm thankful sheโs at least learned the meaning of privacy.
I open the door to let him in. Iโm a little confused as to why heโs here in theย rst place. Itโs after ten at night, and he said he was out of town until tomorrow.
As soon as the door is open, he rushes inside. He kisses me brieย y on the cheek and says, โI need to use your restroom.โ
His hurried appearance throws me o๏ฌย for a second as I watch him remove his things from his belt. Gun, handcu๏ฌs, car keys. He sets it all on the bar, and I canโt help but notice the sweat dripping down his temple. He looks nervous. โGo ahead,โ I say, gesturing toward the restroom. โMake yourself at home.โ
He heads straight for the restroom and as soon as he opens the door, I experience a small moment of panic.
โWait!โ I say, rushing behind him. He steps away from the door, and I brush past him. I walk to the sink and pick up all the seashell soaps. I walk out of the restroom and heโs eyeing my hands curiously.
โWhat am I supposed to wash my hands with now?โ he asks.
I nod my head toward the cabinet. โย ereโs liquid soap in there,โ I tell him. I look down at the soaps in my hands. โย ese arenโt for guests.โ
He closes the door in my face, and I walk the soaps to my room, feeling a little ridiculous.
I have serious issues.
I set the soap down on my nightstand and pick up my phone. I have several missed text messages, and only one of them is from my mother. I scroll through them and theyโre all from Owen. I start at the bottom and work my way up.
Call me.
Are you okay? Itโs important. Meat dress.
Please call me.
If you donโt respond to my text inย ve minutes, Iโm coming over.ย I immediately text him back.
Donโt come over, Trey is here. Iโmย ne.
I hit send and then type him another message.ย Are you okay?
He pings me back immediately.
Someone broke into my studio tonight.ย ey destroyed everything.ย My handย ies up to my mouth, and I gasp.
He took your confession, Auburn.
My heart is in my throat, and I quickly glance up to make sure Trey isnโt standing at my door. I donโt want him to see my reaction right now, or heโll want to know who Iโm texting. I quickly send Owen another message.
Did you call the police?
His response comes through just as I hear the door to the bathroom open.
And tell them what, Auburn? To come clean up their mess?ย I read the text twice.
eir mess?
I immediately hit delete on all the messages. I set the phone down and try to appear casual, but Owenโs last message is playing over and over in my head. He thinks Trey did this?
I want to say that Owen is wrong. I want to say that Trey wouldnโt be capable of doing something like what was done to Owen, but I donโt know what or who to believe anymore.
Trey appears in the doorway and I study his eyes, trying to get a clue from them, but he gives me nothing but a wall.
I smile at him. โYouโre back early.โ
He doesnโt smile back. My heart is trying to climb through the walls of my chest, and not in a good way.
He walks into my room and sits down on my bed. He kicks his shoes o๏ฌย and knocks them onto theย oor. โWhat ever happened to that cat?โ he asks. โWhatโd you say his name was? Sparkles?โ
I swallow. Why is he asking about Owenโs cat?
โRan away,โ I say calmly. โEmory was devastated for a week.โ
He nods, working his jaw back and forth. He reaches a hand up and grabs my arm. I look down at it just as he pulls me to him. I fall against his chest, sti๏ฌย as a board. He wraps his arm around me and kisses the top of my head. โI missed you, so I came back early.โ
Heโs being nice.ย Tooย nice. My guard stays up. โGuess what?โ he says.
โWhat?โ
His hand moves to my hair and he runs hisย ngers through it. โI found a house today.โ
I pull away from his chest and look up at him, just as he tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. โI didnโt realize you were looking for another house.โ
He smiles. โI thought I might get something a little bigger. Now that mom has moved back, Iย gured I could let her have that house, since it was hers to begin with. Itโs probably better if we had more privacy, anyway.ย e house Iโm looking at has a fenced-in backyard. Itโs on Bishop, near the park. Itโs a really good neighborhood.โ
I donโt say anything, because it sounds like he means he foundย usย a house today.ย e thought of that terriย es me.
โMom went with me to look at it. She really liked it. She said AJ would love it there.โ
I canโt imagine Lydia saying AJ would love anything that isnโt hers. โShe really said that?โ
Trey nods, and Iย nd myself imagining what that would be like. Actually being able to live in the same house with AJ, in a good neighborhood with a backyard. And once again the thought makes its way into my head that it could be worth it. Iโll never love Trey like I loved Adam, and Iโll never feel the connection with him that I have with Owen, but Adam and Owen canโt give me the one thing in my life that I need. Only Trey can do that.
โWhat are you saying, Trey?โ
He smiles down at me, and I realize in this moment that maybe Owen was wrong. If Trey were responsible for destroying Owenโs studio, he wouldnโt be here saying the things heโs saying right now. He would be livid, because he would know that confession was from me.
โIโm saying this isnโt a game to me, Auburn. I love AJ and I need to know that youโre in this with me.ย at weโre in this together.โ
He shifts until heโs on top of me, and then he leans forward and kisses me. Weโve been dating for over two months now and Iโve never let him do anything but kiss me. Iโm still not ready to go further than this, but I know he is. And I know his patience has been wearing thin.
He groans and his tongue dives deeper into my mouth. I squeeze my eyes shut and hate that Iโm forcing myself to pretend Iโm okay with this. But internally, Iโm just stalling, giving myself a moment to think about what move I need to make next, because Owenโs texts are still in the back of my mind. Not to mention the fact that Owen may very well be on his way here. Treyโs hands become needier as they grope and pull at me. His mouth moves roughly from mine, and he begins to kiss me all over as one of his
hands works the buttons on my shirt.
I want to tell him to stop, but itโs all happening so fast, I canโtย nd a point at which to push him away. His hand is unbuttoning my jeans, and heโs working hisย ngers inside my underwear when I canโt take a second more of this. I dig my heels into my mattress and push him away as I attempt to scoot up on the bed.
He pulls away for a few seconds and looks at me, but words fail to come out of my mouth. When I say nothing, his mouth is immediately on mine again with even more force. He didnโt get a verbal no, so I guess that means yes to him.
I press against his chest. โTrey, stop.โ
He immediately stops kissing me and presses his face into the pillow. He groans, frustrated, and I donโt know what to say next. I just made him angry.
His hand is still in my jeans, and even though Iโm not kissing him, he continues to slide his hand further until I have to physically push his hand away. He presses his palm into the bed beside me and lifts up until his face is just inches from mine. His eyes are full of anger, but itโs not the anger that scares me.
Itโs the disgust.
โYou can fuck my little brother when youโreย fteen, but you canโt fuck me as an adult?โ
His words hurt.ย ey hurt so much, I have to close my eyes and turn away from him.
โI didnโt fuck Adam,โ I say. I slowly look in his direction again, and I stare him straight in the eyes. โI made love to Adam.โ
He lowers his face until his mouth is directly over my ear.ย e heat from his breath makes my skin crawl. โWhat was it when Owen was fucking you in his bed? Wasย thatย love?โ
I suck in a rush of air.
My entire body tenses, and I know if I try to run, heโll stop me. I also know that if I donโt try to run, heโll more than likely hurt me.
Iโve never been more scared.
He remains on top of me, his mouth poised next to my ear. He doesnโt speak again, but he doesnโt have to. His hand is making his intentions clear as he works his way inside my jeans again.
For a split second, I wonder if I should let him do this. If I just shut up and allow him to take what he wants, maybe itโll be enough for him to forgive what happened with Owen. I canโt let this come between me and my son.
But those thoughts only last for a split second, because there is no way in hell Iโll allow AJ to grow up with a spineless mother.
โGet o๏ฌย me.โ
He doesnโt. Instead, he lifts his head and looks down at me with a grin so cold, it sends a rush of chills over me. I donโt know who he is right now. Iโve never seen this side of him before. โTrey, please.โ
His hand is rough, and Iโm squeezing my legs together, but it doesnโt stop him from forcing my thighs apart. Iโm pushing him, but my weakness is laughable compared to his strength. His mouth is back on mine and when I try to turn away from him, he bites my lip, forcing his kiss on me.
I can taste the blood.
I begin to sob as soon as he begins unbuttoning his own jeans.
is isnโt happening. โShe said stop.โ
Itโs not my voice, and it isnโt Treyโs, but the words force him to stop. I glance up toย nd Emory standing in the doorway, pointing a gun in our direction. Trey slowly turns to face the door. When he sees her, he carefully rolls onto his back with his palms face out.
โYou do realize youโre pointing a gun at a police o๏ฌcer,โ Trey says calmly. Emory laughs. โYou do realize Iโm stopping an assault, donโt you?โ
He sits up, slowly, and she raises the gun even higher, keeping it trained on him.
โI donโt know what you think is going on here, but if you donโt hand me that gun, youโll be in a shitload of trouble.โ
Emory looks at me but keeps the gun aimed at Trey. โWho do you think will be in trouble, Auburn?ย e o๏ฌcer who was forcing himself on you or the roommate who shot his dick o๏ฌ?โ
Luckily her question was rhetorical, because Iโm crying too hard to answer. Trey runs his palm over his mouth and then squeezes his jaw, attempting toย gure out how to get out of the mess heโs just put himself in.
Emory focuses her attention back on him. โYouโre going to walk out of this apartment and all the way to the end of the hallway. Iโll set your gun and your keys on the hallwayย oor once youโre out of reach.โ
I can feel Trey look at me, but I donโt look at him. I canโt. He runs a gentle hand up my arm. โAuburn, you know I would never hurt you. Tell her sheโs confused.โ I can feel him reach up to my face, but Emoryโs voice stops him.
โGet.ย e fuck. Out!ย โ she yells.
Once again, Trey raises his palms in the air. He stands, slowly, and buttons his jeans. He bends to grab his shoes.
โLeave them. Get out,โ Emory saysย rmly.
She slowly backs out of the doorway as he makes his way toward her. I watch the back of his head as he turns toward the front door and Emory follows him.
โAll the way to the end of the hall,โ she says.
Several more seconds pass before she says, โย row me his shoes, Auburn.โ
I reach across the bed and grab his shoes from theย oor. I walk them to her and watch as she sets his shoes outside of our front door. She keeps a close eye on Trey at the end of the hallway as she lays the gun beside the shoes. As soon as itโs out of her hands, she slams the door shut and dead bolts it, then fastens the chain lock. Iโm now standing in the doorway of my bedroom, watching to make sure heโs gone. She turns to face me, wide- eyed.
โI told you I liked the other guy more.โ
I somehow laugh between all my tears. Emory steps forward and hugs me, and as strange as she is, Iโm more grateful to her than Iโve ever been to anyone in my life.
โย ank you so much for eavesdropping.โ
She laughs. โMy pleasure.โ She pulls back and looks me in the eye. โAre you okay? Did he hurt you?โ
I shake my head and pull my hand up to my lip to see if itโs still bleeding. It is, but before I can turn to the kitchen, Emory is already tearing a paper towel o๏ฌย the holder. She turns on the faucet just as a knock lands against the door.
We both turn and look at the door.
โAuburn.โ Itโs Treyโs voice. โAuburn, Iโm sorry. Iโm so sorry.โ Heโs crying.ย at, or heโs a really good actor.
โWe need to talk about this. Please.โ
I know Owen is probably on his way over right now after all of his frantic texts, so I just want to get rid of Trey before they come face-to-face.
atโs the last thing I need tonight. I walk to the door, but I donโt unlock it. โWeโll talk about this tomorrow,โ I say through the door. โI need space
tonight, Trey.โ
A few seconds pass and he says, โOkay. Tomorrow.โ