โโI am reliably informed that youโre a Gen Z s*x symbol.โโ
I nearly drop my phone.
Okay: I do drop my phone, but I save it before it splashes into a beaker full of ammonia. Then I glance around the chemistry classroom, wondering if anyone else heard.
The other students are either texting or puttering around with their equipment. Mrs. Agarwal is at her desk, pretending to grade papers but probably reading Bill Nye erotic fanfiction. A hopefully- not- lethal smell of ethanoic acid wafts up from my bench, but my AirPods are still in my ears.
No one is paying attention to me or the video on my phone, so I press Play to resume it.
โIt was onย Timeย magazine two weeks ago. On the cover. A picture of your face, and then โA Gen Z s*x symbol.โ How does that feel?โ
I am expecting to see Zendaya. Harry Styles. Billie Eilish. The entirety of BTS, crammed on the couch of whatever latenight show the YouTube autoplay algorithm decided to feed me after the pH experiment tutorial ended. But itโs just some dude. A boy, even? He looks out of place in the
red velvet chair, with his dark shirt, dark slacks, dark hair, dark expression. Intensely unreadable as he says in a deep, serious voice,ย โIt feels wrong.โ
โIt does?โย the hostโ Jim or James or Jimmyโ asks.
โThe Gen Z part is correct,โย the guest says.ย โNot so much the s*x symbol.โ
The audience eats it up, clapping and hooting, and thatโs when I decide to read the caption.ย Nolan Sawyer, it says. Thereโs a description explaining who he is, but I donโt need it. I might not recognize the face, but I canโt remember a moment in my life when I didnโt know the name.
Meet the Kingkiller: The No. 1 chess player in the world. โLet me tell you something, Nolan: smart is the new s*xy.โ
โStill not sure I qualify.โย His tone is so dry, it has me wondering how his publicist talked him into this interview. But the audience laughs, and the host does, too. He leans forward, obviously charmed by this young man whoโs built like an athlete, thinks like a theoretical physicist, and has the net worth of a Silicon Valley entrepreneur. An unusual, handsome prodigy who wonโt admit to being special.
I wonder if Jim- Jimmy- James has heard whatย Iโveย heard. The gossip.
The whispered stories. The dark rumors about the golden boy of chess.
โLetโs just agree that chess is the new s*xy. And youโre the one who made it soโ there has been a chess renaissance since you started playing. Someone was running commentaries of your games, and they went viral on TikTokโย ChessTok,ย my writers tell me itโs calledโ and now more people than ever are learning how to play. But first things first: you are a Grandmaster, which is the highest title a chess player can achieve, and just won your second World Championship, againstโโ the host has to look down at his card, because normal Grandmasters are not as famous as Sawyerโ โAndreas Antonov. Congratulations.โ
Sawyer nods, once.
โAnd you just turned eighteen. When, again?โ โThree days ago.โ
Three days ago,ย Iย turned sixteen.
Ten years and three days ago, I received my first chess setโ plastic pieces, pink and purpleโ and cried with joy. Iโd use it all day long, carry it everywhere with me, then snuggle it in my sleep.
Now I canโt even remember the feel of a pawn in my hand.
โYou started playing very young. Did your parents teach you?โ
โMy grandfather,โย Sawyer says. The host looks taken aback, like he didnโt think Sawyer would goย there, but recovers quickly.
โWhen did you realize that you were good enough to be a pro?โ
โAmย I good enough?โ
More audience laughter. I roll my eyes.ย โDid you know you wanted to be a pro chess player from the start?โ
โYes. I knew all along that there was nothing that I liked as much as winning a chess match.โ
The hostโs eyebrow lifts.ย โNothing?โย Sawyer doesnโt hesitate.ย โNothing.โ โAndโ โ
โMallory?โ A hand settles on my shoulder. I jump and tear out one pod. โDid you need any help?โ
โNope!โ I smile at Mrs. Agarwal, sliding the phone into my back pocket. โJust finished the instruction video.โ
โOh, perfect. Make sure you put on gloves before you add the acidic solution.โ
โI will.โ
The rest of the class is almost done with the experiment. I furrow my brow, hurry to catch up, and a few minutes later, when I canโt find my funnel and spill my baking soda, I stop thinking about Sawyer, or about the way his voice sounded when he said that he never wanted anything as much as chess. And I donโt think of him again for a little over two years. That is, until the day we play for the first time.
And I wipe the floor with him.