โAre you okay?โ I find Isaiah with a bowl of pretzels in his lap, sitting and sulking by himself in the dugout while Family Day continues on the field.
โNo.โ
Taking the seat on the bench next to him, I pop a pretzel in my mouth. โYou canโt blame her for being somewhat related to the guy.โ
โI donโt blame her for anything. Sheโs a literal angel who can do no wrong in my eyes, but I can blame her mother for having terrible taste in men and marrying who I can only assume is the devil, seeing as Dean Cartwright is Satanโs spawn himself.โ
I fall forward in laughter.
โItโs not funny, Miller. This is the worst possible scenario.โ โNah. It could be worse.โ
He scoffs. โHow the hell could anything be worse than Kenny being related to Dean motherfucking Cartwright?โ
โThey couldโve been sleeping together, so I count โstepbrotherโ as a win.โ
Isaiahโs brown eyes widen as I watch the realization flash through his mind. โOh my God, youโre right.โ
Feet dangling off the bench, I snag a few more pretzels.
โHappy birthday, by the way,โ he says, nudging his shoulder into mine. โThank you.โ
โItโs going to be weird not having you here, traveling with us. All the other nannies have sucked.โ
God, I donโt want to think about another nanny. I havenโt even asked Kai what his plan for childcare is once I go, mostly because thereโs no part of me that wants to picture someone else in my place.
โDo you . . .โ I begin. โDoes he know who is going to replace me?โ
โNo one yet. The trainers and some of the staff have figured out a schedule to help Kai for the rest of the season so he doesnโt have to bring
someone else on quite yet. And depending how deep we go into the playoffs, we only have a month or so of baseball left at best.โ
I quickly nod. โThat sounds . . . good.โ
He swings an arm over my shoulder. โYouโre irreplaceable, Miller. No one else will ever be the Hot Nanny.โ
My chest rumbles in a silent laugh. โAlways the charmer, Isaiah Rhodes.โ
โHow are you holding up?โ โNot great.โ
โI assume youโre a mess over leavingย meย and it has nothing to do with my brother or nephew.โ
โYouโre charmingย andย brilliant now? You really are becoming a whole new man.โ
He chuckles. โDo you think youโll be back to visit soon?โ
His question holds so much hope, and I know that hope is strictly for his older brother.
โI donโt think so. Work keeps me busy, and at this point I have sixteen kitchens Iโm scheduled to consult for. Thatโs four years of bookings.โ
โFour years?โ His tone is filled with shock. โHell, I donโt know what Iโm even doing in fourย days, let alone in four years.โ
When I first opened my schedule to consultation services, I wanted every booking I could get. I didnโt have much family or friends I was worried about penciling in. I had my attention laser focused on being the best, but now the lack of free time, the lack of a social life sounds dreadful.
And awfully lonely, if Iโm being honest.
โCan I be serious for a moment?โ he asks. โAnd you know this is important because Iโm very rarely serious.โ
โYou and me both.โ
โI know. We drive my brother nuts.โ
I pop another pretzel into my mouth as Isaiah adjusts himself on the bench, trying to get comfortable when getting serious makes him anything but.
โMalakai is the best person I know. Heโs my best friend and the best dad to his son. As Iโve gotten older, Iโve begun to realize everything heโs done for me. No fifteen-year-old shouldโve been left to raise their sibling. He got me through our momโs death. He got me through high school. He taught me how to drive. Hell, the guy even took me to buy my first pack of condoms.โ
He chuckles to himself. โWhich is ironic now, seeing as heโs the one who ended up with an accidental pregnancy.โ
We find those two, Max tugging at the flips of dark brown hair curling out from Kaiโs hat.
โWhat Iโm trying to say is that my brother deserves the world and for him,ย youย are the world.โ
My pulse is thundering, my heart pounding in my chest. Thereโs an odd contradiction happening inside of me. I want to be his world because heโs quickly become mine, but the last thing I want is for this man to get hurt because of me. Isaiah doesnโt have to tell me these things. I know how good his brother is, how much he deserves. Itโs what made me fall in love with him when I was trying so hard not to.
I realized it yesterday at the shoot. I didnโt know what it felt like to be in love, and the realization that I am snuck up on me in the worst way possible. I leave tomorrow and Iโm in love with Kai and his son. Iโm in love with the life and friendships I built here.
And none of it matters because this was simply a pit stop to getting back to my real life.
โIf thereโs any chance of you coming back to see them . . .โ Isaiah shakes his head. โI donโt know what Iโm asking here. Iโm just trying to repay Kai for everything heโs done for me, and Iโve never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you. Iโve never seen him so immersed in someone elseโs orbit, and I donโt know how you did that. If you found a crack and wormed your way in or what, but heโs been so focused on Max for the last year that he forgot about himself. But you . . . you didnโt forget about him. Iโm asking that you donโt forget about him when you go.โ
โIsaiah.โ My head falls to his shoulder with an exhale. โTrust me, Iโll never be able to forget your brother.โ
Iโll never ever be able to forget about Kaiย orย his son. Theyโve etched themselves onto my soul and unfortunately, Iโll never be able to tell Kai that, to give him any sign of hope that I could stay. Tomorrow I leave town, and Iโm hurting, aching at the homesickness thatโs already begun to settle into my bones.
Itโs one of our rulesโno grand declarations of love.
I asked Kai to remember that weโre simply a summer fling, and Iโm praying for his sake that Iโm the only one who forgot.
โHey, are you Miller? Emmettโs daughter?โ
Looking up, a man that looks to be my dadโs age comes hopping down the stairs into the dugout. He seems nice enough until I zero in on Atlantaโs team logo on his quarter-zip.
Lifting my head off Isaiahโs shoulder, I say, โYeah, thatโs me.โ
โIโm Brian. Your dad and I used to play together in the majors back in the day.โ
โOh, very cool. Itโs nice to meet you. Are you working for Atlanta now?โ I gesture towards the logo on his chest.
โI am. Iโd love to come and work with your dad someday, though. He and I used to make a hell of a pair. In fact, he was my catcher until he decided to retire mid-season while we were on a World Series-winning pace.โ
The smile on my lips falls. He retired that season because ofย me.
โHe and I both would have our own rings if he stayed and played out that season, but he just had to call it quits. Absolutely wild to me.โ Brian shakes his head in disbelief.
โIt was a . . . tough time for us then.โ
โYeah.โ He exhales a humorless laugh. โItโs a shame that his rash decision cost him his career.โ
Isaiah looks from the Atlanta coach to me. โWhat is he talking about?โ
I shake him off, realizing Kai hadnโt even told his brother about Monty not being my biological dad or how our family came to be.
โEmmett quit mid-season to adopt her.โ Brian gestures to me. โShe didnโt have anywhere to go so he left the league and started coaching at some tiny shithole of a college. He gave up a good chunk of change over it too.โ
I can feel Isaiahโs attention burning into the side of my face, but all I can do is keep my head down, staring at my feet. As if I didnโt still feel guilty all these years later over my dad giving up his life for me, this random dude had to remind me with an audience present.
โYour dad said youโre some big-shot chef now.โ Brian continues. โSaid youโre going to be on the cover of some magazine soon. Thatโs good to hear. At least youโre doing something impressive with your life after he gave up his.โ
โHey.โ Isaiah stands from the bench. โWhat the hell is wrong with you?โ
Brian seems genuinely confused, as if he were simply stating facts and not trying to make me feel bad with his words.
โIsaiah, itโs okay.โ I pull his arm back for him to return to the bench next to me. โHeโs right.โ
As much as the words burn to hear, itโs exactly the reminder I need to get through tonight and back on the road tomorrow.