Chapter no 34 – Miller

Caught Up (Windy City Series Book 3)

โ€œAre you okay?โ€ I find Isaiah with a bowl of pretzels in his lap, sitting and sulking by himself in the dugout while Family Day continues on the field.

โ€œNo.โ€

Taking the seat on the bench next to him, I pop a pretzel in my mouth. โ€œYou canโ€™t blame her for being somewhat related to the guy.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t blame her for anything. Sheโ€™s a literal angel who can do no wrong in my eyes, but I can blame her mother for having terrible taste in men and marrying who I can only assume is the devil, seeing as Dean Cartwright is Satanโ€™s spawn himself.โ€

I fall forward in laughter.

โ€œItโ€™s not funny, Miller. This is the worst possible scenario.โ€ โ€œNah. It could be worse.โ€

He scoffs. โ€œHow the hell could anything be worse than Kenny being related to Dean motherfucking Cartwright?โ€

โ€œThey couldโ€™ve been sleeping together, so I count โ€˜stepbrotherโ€™ as a win.โ€

Isaiahโ€™s brown eyes widen as I watch the realization flash through his mind. โ€œOh my God, youโ€™re right.โ€

Feet dangling off the bench, I snag a few more pretzels.

โ€œHappy birthday, by the way,โ€ he says, nudging his shoulder into mine. โ€œThank you.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s going to be weird not having you here, traveling with us. All the other nannies have sucked.โ€

God, I donโ€™t want to think about another nanny. I havenโ€™t even asked Kai what his plan for childcare is once I go, mostly because thereโ€™s no part of me that wants to picture someone else in my place.

โ€œDo you . . .โ€ I begin. โ€œDoes he know who is going to replace me?โ€

โ€œNo one yet. The trainers and some of the staff have figured out a schedule to help Kai for the rest of the season so he doesnโ€™t have to bring

someone else on quite yet. And depending how deep we go into the playoffs, we only have a month or so of baseball left at best.โ€

I quickly nod. โ€œThat sounds . . . good.โ€

He swings an arm over my shoulder. โ€œYouโ€™re irreplaceable, Miller. No one else will ever be the Hot Nanny.โ€

My chest rumbles in a silent laugh. โ€œAlways the charmer, Isaiah Rhodes.โ€

โ€œHow are you holding up?โ€ โ€œNot great.โ€

โ€œI assume youโ€™re a mess over leavingย meย and it has nothing to do with my brother or nephew.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re charmingย andย brilliant now? You really are becoming a whole new man.โ€

He chuckles. โ€œDo you think youโ€™ll be back to visit soon?โ€

His question holds so much hope, and I know that hope is strictly for his older brother.

โ€œI donโ€™t think so. Work keeps me busy, and at this point I have sixteen kitchens Iโ€™m scheduled to consult for. Thatโ€™s four years of bookings.โ€

โ€œFour years?โ€ His tone is filled with shock. โ€œHell, I donโ€™t know what Iโ€™m even doing in fourย days, let alone in four years.โ€

When I first opened my schedule to consultation services, I wanted every booking I could get. I didnโ€™t have much family or friends I was worried about penciling in. I had my attention laser focused on being the best, but now the lack of free time, the lack of a social life sounds dreadful.

And awfully lonely, if Iโ€™m being honest.

โ€œCan I be serious for a moment?โ€ he asks. โ€œAnd you know this is important because Iโ€™m very rarely serious.โ€

โ€œYou and me both.โ€

โ€œI know. We drive my brother nuts.โ€

I pop another pretzel into my mouth as Isaiah adjusts himself on the bench, trying to get comfortable when getting serious makes him anything but.

โ€œMalakai is the best person I know. Heโ€™s my best friend and the best dad to his son. As Iโ€™ve gotten older, Iโ€™ve begun to realize everything heโ€™s done for me. No fifteen-year-old shouldโ€™ve been left to raise their sibling. He got me through our momโ€™s death. He got me through high school. He taught me how to drive. Hell, the guy even took me to buy my first pack of condoms.โ€

He chuckles to himself. โ€œWhich is ironic now, seeing as heโ€™s the one who ended up with an accidental pregnancy.โ€

We find those two, Max tugging at the flips of dark brown hair curling out from Kaiโ€™s hat.

โ€œWhat Iโ€™m trying to say is that my brother deserves the world and for him,ย youย are the world.โ€

My pulse is thundering, my heart pounding in my chest. Thereโ€™s an odd contradiction happening inside of me. I want to be his world because heโ€™s quickly become mine, but the last thing I want is for this man to get hurt because of me. Isaiah doesnโ€™t have to tell me these things. I know how good his brother is, how much he deserves. Itโ€™s what made me fall in love with him when I was trying so hard not to.

I realized it yesterday at the shoot. I didnโ€™t know what it felt like to be in love, and the realization that I am snuck up on me in the worst way possible. I leave tomorrow and Iโ€™m in love with Kai and his son. Iโ€™m in love with the life and friendships I built here.

And none of it matters because this was simply a pit stop to getting back to my real life.

โ€œIf thereโ€™s any chance of you coming back to see them . . .โ€ Isaiah shakes his head. โ€œI donโ€™t know what Iโ€™m asking here. Iโ€™m just trying to repay Kai for everything heโ€™s done for me, and Iโ€™ve never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you. Iโ€™ve never seen him so immersed in someone elseโ€™s orbit, and I donโ€™t know how you did that. If you found a crack and wormed your way in or what, but heโ€™s been so focused on Max for the last year that he forgot about himself. But you . . . you didnโ€™t forget about him. Iโ€™m asking that you donโ€™t forget about him when you go.โ€

โ€œIsaiah.โ€ My head falls to his shoulder with an exhale. โ€œTrust me, Iโ€™ll never be able to forget your brother.โ€

Iโ€™ll never ever be able to forget about Kaiย orย his son. Theyโ€™ve etched themselves onto my soul and unfortunately, Iโ€™ll never be able to tell Kai that, to give him any sign of hope that I could stay. Tomorrow I leave town, and Iโ€™m hurting, aching at the homesickness thatโ€™s already begun to settle into my bones.

Itโ€™s one of our rulesโ€”no grand declarations of love.

I asked Kai to remember that weโ€™re simply a summer fling, and Iโ€™m praying for his sake that Iโ€™m the only one who forgot.

โ€œHey, are you Miller? Emmettโ€™s daughter?โ€

Looking up, a man that looks to be my dadโ€™s age comes hopping down the stairs into the dugout. He seems nice enough until I zero in on Atlantaโ€™s team logo on his quarter-zip.

Lifting my head off Isaiahโ€™s shoulder, I say, โ€œYeah, thatโ€™s me.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m Brian. Your dad and I used to play together in the majors back in the day.โ€

โ€œOh, very cool. Itโ€™s nice to meet you. Are you working for Atlanta now?โ€ I gesture towards the logo on his chest.

โ€œI am. Iโ€™d love to come and work with your dad someday, though. He and I used to make a hell of a pair. In fact, he was my catcher until he decided to retire mid-season while we were on a World Series-winning pace.โ€

The smile on my lips falls. He retired that season because ofย me.

โ€œHe and I both would have our own rings if he stayed and played out that season, but he just had to call it quits. Absolutely wild to me.โ€ Brian shakes his head in disbelief.

โ€œIt was a . . . tough time for us then.โ€

โ€œYeah.โ€ He exhales a humorless laugh. โ€œItโ€™s a shame that his rash decision cost him his career.โ€

Isaiah looks from the Atlanta coach to me. โ€œWhat is he talking about?โ€

I shake him off, realizing Kai hadnโ€™t even told his brother about Monty not being my biological dad or how our family came to be.

โ€œEmmett quit mid-season to adopt her.โ€ Brian gestures to me. โ€œShe didnโ€™t have anywhere to go so he left the league and started coaching at some tiny shithole of a college. He gave up a good chunk of change over it too.โ€

I can feel Isaiahโ€™s attention burning into the side of my face, but all I can do is keep my head down, staring at my feet. As if I didnโ€™t still feel guilty all these years later over my dad giving up his life for me, this random dude had to remind me with an audience present.

โ€œYour dad said youโ€™re some big-shot chef now.โ€ Brian continues. โ€œSaid youโ€™re going to be on the cover of some magazine soon. Thatโ€™s good to hear. At least youโ€™re doing something impressive with your life after he gave up his.โ€

โ€œHey.โ€ Isaiah stands from the bench. โ€œWhat the hell is wrong with you?โ€

Brian seems genuinely confused, as if he were simply stating facts and not trying to make me feel bad with his words.

โ€œIsaiah, itโ€™s okay.โ€ I pull his arm back for him to return to the bench next to me. โ€œHeโ€™s right.โ€

As much as the words burn to hear, itโ€™s exactly the reminder I need to get through tonight and back on the road tomorrow.

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