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ednesdays werenโt the best bar shifts for making cash, but they were better than nothing. Plus Iโd managed to finish up a design project for a clientโa series of Facebook graphics
for a product launchโbetweenย Labelย and my shift at Roosterโs.
The invoice was sent, and my tip jar was half-full. My first paycheck fromย Labelย was slated for next week, and Dad had been discharged back to the nursing home this morning.
Things were moving in the right direction.
โHave a good night, guys,โ I called after two patrons who had warmed barstools for two hours, arguing seventeenth century literature and flirting with me.
Theyโd left me a thirty percent tip that made my mercenary heart tap out a pitter-pat.
That pitter-pat turned into an aggressive timpani solo when Domnic Russo took one of the vacated stools.
We stared at each other while he shrugged out of his coat. He was dressed more casually than he had been in the office. Jeans and a well- fitting gray sweater that made his blue eyes look more silver. His sleeves were shoved up, revealing tattoos on both forearms.
Yum.
What was it about this man that made me feelโฆ whatever this was? Wordlessly, I dropped a napkin on the bar in front of him.
The bar was still loud, still busy. But everything seemed to fade into a blurry background as we stared at each other.
What was this?
Why was he here?
Why did I want to climb over this bar and slide into his lap? Well. Besides the obvious.
โWhatโll it be, boss?โ I asked, going for light, blasรฉ even. But when the words came out, they sounded like a proposition to me.ย Beer? Bourbon? Me?
He pointed to a craft beer on tap and leaned his forearms on the bar. I poured his beer and set it in front of him.
โYo, Al, got a round of bachelorette shots cominโ up,โ one of the servers called from the end of the bar. I was old enough to be his very young aunt.
Relieved I turned away from those eyes that were burning holes into me and yanked the ticket off the printer. I went to work, pretending that every fiber of my being wasnโt focused on the man behind me.
I made six Screaming Orgasms, poured four more beers, and shook up two martinis before finding my way back to Dominic.
โHungry?โ I asked.
โDo you get a break?โ He pushed his empty glass toward me. His gaze lingered on the beaded bracelets on my wrist.
โI get fifteen,โ I said, wondering what he could possibly want badly enough to come down here and sit at my bar.
โWill you eat with me?โ he asked.
Now I was nervous. He was being nice. Polite. I trusted the grumpy, yelly version of him a hell of a lot more than this civilized one.
โSure,โ I said.
He looked relieved.
โAnother one?โ I asked, taking his glass. โYes.โ
TWENTY MINUTES LATER, I was seated across from my boss at a way-too- intimate high-top table tucked into a very dark corner.
Our differences were impossible to ignore. He was in designer duds. I was dressed like a cheap cowgirl. Heโd ordered the filet, and I was dining on my employee discount hamburger.
โWhatโs going on? Youโre not here to get me fired, are you?โ I cut my burger in half so I could save one portion for lunch tomorrow.
He didnโt crack a smile. If anything he looked even more serious. โHow many jobs do you need?โ he asked.
โAs many as it takes.โ
โDoes it have something to do with your family emergency?โ
I chose to take a bite of burger rather than answer him. Dominicโs nostrils flared, and he was back to glaring at me. This at least felt normal.
โHarry seemed to think that thereโs something between us.โ He said the words slowly and to the steak in front of him rather than to my face.
โSomething besides a murderous rage?โ I clarified.
He did look at me then. โHe thinks that weโre attracted to each other.โ I didnโt say anything.
It was a self-preservation thing. There was no way in hell that Iโd admit to being attracted to the man.
โI donโt know how to talk about this without putting you in an awkward position,โ he admitted.
Since when was Dominic Russo worried about making me feel awkward?
โOkay. Now youโre starting to worry me,โ I announced. โHow about just be honest? Spit it out. Rip off the bandage. Weโre adults here on our own time.โ
โFine.โ He took a breath and then looked me dead in the eye. โAre you attracted to me?โ
I laughed.
He frowned. Fiercely.
โWhat?โ I asked. โThatโs a ridiculous question.โ โThen give me a ridiculous answer,โ he growled.
I rolled my eyes. โYes, Dom. Iโm physically attracted to you. I imagine most women and plenty of men are.โ
He held up a bossy, obnoxious hand. โDonโt be flippant.โ โWhatโs the problem?โ I asked.
โIโm your boss.โ
โTechnically I have about a hundred bosses,โ I corrected him. โIt doesnโt matter. Thereโs a policyโโ
โI know thereโs a policy. Are you accusing me of violating it?โ
โWhat? No.โ He closed his eyes for a beat and then opened them again. โWhat Iโm trying to say is Iโm not willing to violate the policy.โ
โWait a second. Dom, are you saying youโre attracted to me?โ I asked incredulously.
He glared at me. โYouโre not stupid, Ally.โ โApparently I might be. Are you attracted to me?โ
I held his gaze, and for the first time, saw the storm in those blue eyes.
He was fighting some kind of internal battle. โDom?โ
His jaw flexed twice before he answered. โIโm attracted to you, Ally.
Very attracted,โ he said, his voice low and rough.
Oh, lord.
Sex hormones dumped into my bloodstream so quickly I felt lightheaded.
โOh.โ It was the only word I could get out as a wave of confusion and white-hot lust crushed me.
โOh?โ he repeated, looking annoyed.
โGive me a minute,โ I told him. โIโm processing. I thought you hated me.โ
โI told you before. I donโt hate you,โ he said disdainfully. โI hate being attracted to you.โ
And just like that those sex hormones turned into white-hot rage.
โYou tracked me downย to my third jobย to tell me youย hateย being attracted to me?โ I said the words slowly, making sure I was reiterating his point with just the right amount of โyou son of a bitchโ in my tone.
โWhat I mean to say is nothing is going to happen between us.โ
โYouโre damn right nothing is going to happen, you cocky, imbecilic ass. You think Iโm so desperate that Iโd say yes to a quick hate-fuck? That my self-respect is so low Iโd throw myself at someone who doesnโtย deserveย me?โ I couldnโt decide whether I wanted to smash my burger in his face or stab him in the hand with a fork.
โAlly, youโre getting it wrong,โ he said dryly. โIโm getting it wrong, or youโre saying it wrong?โ He looked uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable.
โI just want to make it clear that Iโm not going to get involved with you.โ
The arrogance of this guy was almost laughable.ย Iโd definitely go with the fork, I decided.
โFirst of all,ย boss. I decide who I get involved with. Not you. And right now, Iโd rather sleep with literally any human in this bar than you. Dead last. Thatโs where you rank. Just because Iย foundย you physically attractive doesnโt mean Iโd want to sleep with you.โ I emphasized the past tense to drive my point home, ignoring the fact that thatโs exactly what it had meant up until forty-five seconds ago when he opened his big, stupid mouth.
โEat your dinner, Ally,โ he said.
The look I shot him should have made his balls shrivel into raisins.
โLook,โ I said. โYou donโt get to be an asshole to my face when Iโm on someone elseโs clock. You can do it forty-odd hours a week at the office but not here.โ I started to push my chair back, but he closed a hand over my wrist.
His grip felt like a shackle. A warm, hard, unbreakable shackle. And I
hatedย the fact that I liked it.
I stared down at the fingers ensnaring my wrist and felt like Iโd entered another dimension where casual physical touch from a man whoโd just insulted me on the basest level could render me speechless.
โAlly,โ he said again. His voice was a rasp.
It was humiliating to know that the man could insult me to my face and my body would still want to see his naked. Had I lost my self-respect along with my life savings?
โThis is coming out wrong,โ he said.
โIโm not sure thereโs a right way to tell someone that youโre attracted to them but the actual thought of sex with them makes you nauseated,โ I shot back. โAre you the reincarnation of Mr. Darcy?โ
His fingers squeezed harder.
โWhat I am fucking up over and over again is this: I want you to know that despite the fact that I find you interesting, intelligent, infuriating, and very, very attractive, Iโm not going to pursue any kind of relationship with you. I want you to feel safe at work. I donโt want you to think that Iโm going to drag you into a copy room and fuck you against office equipment. I donโt want coworkers whispering behind your back because you had the misfortune to catch my eye. I donโt want your reputation torn to shreds just because I wonder what you look like naked. And, yes, I do think about that. And, no, I shouldnโt be telling you that.โ
He said all this without lessening the pressure of his fingers. As if the physical touch and the words melded into one message.ย Desire.
Fuck me against office equipment?ย Iโd put that in the โObsess About This Laterโ folder.
We were both quiet for a long beat. Him still gripping my wrist. Me still staring at him as if heโd just announced he had four testicles and dreamed of someday raising miniature donkeys.
โI wanted to clear the air,โ he said, pressing on. โIf Harry was picking up on something between us, then others will also. Thatโs not the kind of environmentย Labelย is. Not anymore.โ
My brain was still wading through his speech. There was something real, something vulnerable in there, and I needed several uninterrupted days to process it all.
โSay something,โ he demanded gruffly.
โWell, the first thing that comes to mind is: I look great naked,โ I told him. The man put his head down on the table, and I almost laughed.
โDammit. I knew it,โ he said mournfully. โDid Dominic Russo just crack a joke?โ
โMaybe. I donโt know. Being around you feels like a never-ending boxing match, and I keep getting hit in the nuts.โ
I did laugh then. โYou are really, really bad at this, by the way.โ
โForgive me,โ he said dryly as he lifted his head. โIโve never had this conversation before.โ
I flipped my hand over and wrapped my fingers around his wrist. โI think youโre making this more complicated than it has to be.โ
โIf anyone is overcomplicating things, itโs you,โ he said, his tone grumpy.
โStop being a baby. Just because weโre attracted to each other doesnโt mean we have to act on it. Weโre adults, not oversexed teens with no comprehension of consequences. Iโm not your type. Youโre not my typeโ though in other circumstances, Iโd be happy to broaden my horizons.โ
He growled at that. I grinned.
โBut neither one of us wants to rock the boat at work. I like my job. And I donโt fuck men who donโt like me. Iโm not going to lock your office door and show you that Iโm not wearing underwear.โ
โOh, for fuckโs sake,โ he muttered, swiping his free hand over his face. He looked tortured. I liked it.
โNever in the history of my adult life have I been so overcome with lust that I couldnโt control myself. And Iโm willing to bet the same is true for you,โ I guessed.
โDonโt overestimate my control or underestimate your appeal, Ally.โ
And just like that, I was back in Put Your Dick in Me Town.ย โGeez, Dom.โ
โIโm serious,โ he said. โIโm not putting any responsibility on you. But I am infatuated with you, and Iโve spent a lot of time thinking aboutโฆ things that Iโm not going to repeat.โ
I really, really, really wanted to know what kinds of things.
I took a breath and let it out slowly. โWe want the same thing.โ
His eyes narrowed, and I was overcome by a fantasy of him ripping open my cowgirl shirt and shoving my skirt up to my waist.
For one long second, I had the distinct feeling he was thinking the same thing. The temperature of the air between us rose to a smolder.
โWhat I mean to say,โ I said, clearing my throat, โis that neither one of us is up for a workplace affair. So we wonโt have one. Itโs as simple as that.โ
โWhat if I keep wearing vests?โ
I leaned in, noticing his eyes drop to the first closed snap on my shirt. โThen Iโll just have to learn to control myself. And if you donโt stop wearing vests, I might start skipping underwear to work.โ
He clenched his jaw, swallowing hard.
โShut up and eat your dinner,โ he said curtly, pulling his hand away.
I picked up my now-cold half burger. Not out of compliance, but because, after the tips, the food was one of the better parts of the job.
โHow do you get home from here?โ he asked.
โTrain,โ I said, taking a bite.
He reached for his wallet. โIโd prefer you take a cab.โ
โNo.โ
โNo?โ His voice held disbelief, as if he couldnโt understand my defiance.
I rolled my eyes. โIโm not your property, Dom. You donโt get to worry about me or play protector. Youโre my boss, and Iโm your employee. Unless youโre going to cover cab fares or Uber credits for all the admins, the answer is no. No special treatment. No extracurricular sex. No seduction attempts. No flirting. The air is cleared.โ
He stared at me for a long moment, his eyes filled with an inexplicable sadness. Itโs what he wanted.
So why did he look so damn miserable?