A junior editor chirped in my ear about canary yellow sundresses and Cuban photoshoots while the January wind worked its icy fingers through my layers. I navigated the curb buried under foot-
tall piles of what used to be snow. Now it was gray slush frozen into dirty, depressing clumps.
I identified with those frozen clumps.
There was a guy, homeless by the looks of his ripped-up sneakers and worn coat, huddled into the corner of an abandoned storefront. He had a dog wrapped in one of those cheap fleece blankets department stores practically gave away at Christmas.
Goddammit. I hated when they had dogs.
Iโd never had one myself, but I had fond memories of my high school girlfriendโs black lab, Fonzie. Myย onlyย fond memory from that particular relationship.
I tilted my head in the guyโs direction, and my driver, Nelson, gave me a nod. He knew the drill. It wasnโt out of the kindness of my heart. I had neither kindness nor a heart.
I considered it atonement for being an asshole.
Nelson ducked behind the rear of the SUV and opened the hatch. He did the shopping and โdistributionโ while I funded the ongoing operation.
When I came back, the guy would have a new coat, a pocket full of gift cards, and directions to the nearest shelters and hotels that allowed animals. And that furry little mutt, looking up at his human with blind adoration, would be in some warm, ridiculous dog sweater.
I headed toward the damn pizza place that my mother had insisted upon. Coming all the way to the Village from Midtown on a bone-chilling Tuesday evening was notย myย idea of fun.
But making me do things I didnโt want to do was myย motherโsย idea of fun.
If there was anyone in the world for whom Iโd willingly do shit I didnโt want to do, it was Dalessandra Russo. Sheโd had a rough year. I could give her greasy pizza and my uninterrupted attention before having Nelson haul my ass home to the Upper West Side, where I most likely would glare at a computer screen for another three hours before calling it a night.
Alone.
Saving a family name and rescuing a family business didnโt exactly leave a lot of time for extracurricular activities. I wondered if I should get a dog.
My coat flapped in the frigid wind as I stalked toward the restaurantโs dingy orange sign, and the art director chimed in with her thoughts on designer pieces for the May cover.
Winter in Manhattan was depressing. I was not a sweaters-and-hot- chocolate kind of guy. I skied because thatโs what you did when you were born into a wealthy family. But instead of ski slopes, I preferred to spend two weeks in the Caribbean every January.
At least I had in my old life.
I yanked open the steamy glass door of Georgeโs Village Pizza. A little bell tinkled above me, announcing my arrival. The heat hit me first. Then the scents of garlic and fresh-baked bread, and maybe I didnโt hate that Mom had dragged my ass down here.
โWhat are your thoughts, Mr. Russo?โ the junior editor asked.
I hated being called Mr. Russo. I also hated the fact that I couldnโt yell at anyone about it. That was the worst part. Not being able to let out the temper that had been building for over a year.
My attention was caught by curves and curls.
The woman straightened away from the table closest to the door, stuffing the cash tip into her flour-sprinkled apron. Her eyes locked onto mine, and I felt somethingโฆ interesting. Like the ghost of recognition. Likeย sheย was the one I was here to meet.
But we were strangers.
โThat sounds fine,โ I hedged into the phone.
โI can put together a board for you,โ the junior editor offered helpfully. โIโd appreciate that,โ I said, relieved that sheโd offered and I hadnโt had
to ask this time.
They were all finally getting used to the idea that I needed toย seeย things together before I could tell if they worked or not. I hoped that they were also getting used to the idea that I wasnโt my fucking father.
Curves and curls was a server, according to the GVP polo she wore over a long sleeve thermal. Her jeans were generics. Sneakers were at least two years out of functionality, but sheโd done something artistic with Sharpies to the white space on them. She was inches shorter and miles curvier than most of the women Iโd spent time with recently.
In the last year, Iโd become immune to leggy, waif-like models in their early twenties. Which, to be honest, was about damn time considering that I was forty-four. There was something arresting about the woman eyeing me and now pointing to the No Cell Phones sign posted on the corkboard just inside the door.
Interesting face. Softer, rounder than those diamond-edge cheekbones that graced the pages of the magazine. Full lips, wide brown eyes that looked warm. Like honey. Her hair, more brown and chestnut there, was jaw-length and styled in lazy, loose waves that made me think of putting my hands in it while she breathed my name under me.
I couldnโt stop staring at her.
โIโll have it for you first thing in the morning,โ the junior editor promised.
I couldnโt remember the editorโs nameโbecause I was an assโbut I did remember her earnest, eager-to-please face. She was the kind of employee who would stay at the office until midnight without complaining if asked.
โBy noon tomorrow is fine,โ I told her, enjoying the glare S*x Hair was sending me as I continued to ignore the sign.
S*x Hair cleared her throat theatrically and, reaching around me, tapped the flyer fiercely. A trio of cheap, colorful beaded bracelets wrapped around her wrist. I smelled the bright, happy tang of lemons as she leaned in.
โTake it outside, buddy,โ she said in a throaty, no-nonsense voice.
Buddy?
Clearly, she wasnโt intimidated by an asshole in Hugo Boss with a haircut that cost more than her entire outfit. I basked in her disdain. It was
miles more comfortable for me than the terrified glances and โRight away, Mr. Russoโs I got in the hallways at work.
I covered the mouthpiece of the phoneโI hated those earbud things and staunchly refused to use them. โItโs cold. Iโll be a minute,โ I told her briskly, leaving no room for debate.
โI didnโt create the weather or the phone policy. Out. Side.โ She said it like I was a truculent three-year-old and hooked her thumb toward the door. โNo.โ I didnโt sound like a whiny toddler. I sounded like an annoyed,
inconvenienced patron who had the right to expect respect. I uncovered the phone and continued my conversation.ย I was a spiteful son of a bitch.
โGet off the damn phone, or Iโll make you wish you had,โ she warned. People were starting to look at us. Neither one of us seemed to care. โDonโt you have tables to wait on?โ I asked. โOr do you specialize in
shrieking at customers?โ
Her eyes were nearly gold under the fluorescent lighting, and I swear she almost smiled.
โOh, you asked for it, buddy.โ She leaned in again, too close for New Yorkers who prized our personal space. The top of her head came to my shoulder.
โSir, are you here for STD panel results or hemorrhoids?โ she shouted in the vicinity of my cellโs microphone.
You shithead.
โIโll call you back,โ I said into the phone and disconnected the call.
S*x Hair beamed up at me, all faux charm. โWelcome to Georgeโs Village Pizza. Dining alone tonight, I presume?โ
โThat was a work call,โ I said icily.
โIsnโt that nice that you can hold down a jobย andย be that rude?โ
It had been too long since Iโd squashed a disrespectful underling. I itched to do it now. She looked not only like she could take it but that she might even enjoy it.
โDominic.โ
I glanced over S*x Hairโs shoulder and spotted my mother waving from a green vinyl booth in the corner. She looked amused.
S*x Hair looked back and forth between me and my mother. โOh, sheโs way too good for you,โ she announced, slapping a menu to my chest and walking away.
โMom,โ I greeted her, leaning in to kiss her on one flawless cheek before I slid into the booth opposite her.
โThat was quite the entrance,โ she said, resting her chin on her palm.
She was the picture of confidence in an off-the-shoulder ivory sweater and red leather skirt. Her hair was its natural sterling silver, cut in a short, hip cap. The haircutโand the chunky emerald on her right middle fingerโ had been her gift to herself the day after sheโd kicked my father out of their Upper East Side townhouse a few decades too late.
My mother was a beautiful woman. She always had been. Sheโd begun her career at fifteen as a doe-eyed, long-legged socialite-turned-model before deciding she preferred the business side of fashion. Now sixty-nine, sheโd long ago abandoned doe eyes in favor of wielding her sharp mind and tongue. She was comfortable being both lovedย andย feared in the industry.
โShe was incredibly rude,โ I insisted, watching as S*x Hair made small talk with a table across the skinny restaurant.
โYouย were incredibly rude,โ my mother countered.
โItโs what I do,โ I said, snapping open the menu and scanning. I tried to ignore the temper that was bubbling up inside me like a sleeping dragon awakened. Iโd spent thirteen months locked down, on my best behavior, and I was starting to crack.
โDonโt start the โIโm an assholeโ spiel again.โ She sighed and slid her reading glasses back on.
โSooner or later, youโre going to have to give up on the hope that Iโm a human being with a heart of gold underneath it all.โ
โNever,โ she insisted with a saucy smile. I gave up. โWhy are we here?โ
โBecause I wanted to spend time with my only sonโthe light of my life
โaway from the office.โ
Our working relationship was as old as her new haircut.
It wasnโt a coincidence.
โSorry,โ I said and meant it. โIโve been busy.โ
โDarling.โ She said it wryly, and it was warranted.
No one was busier than Dalessandra Russo, former model and current editor-in-chief ofย Label,ย a fashion magazine that had not only survived the onset of the digital age but spearheaded the transition. Every month, my mother oversaw hundreds of pages of fashion, advertising, interviews, and
advice, not to mention online content, and delivered it all to readers around the world.
If she were photographed in a pair of shoes or sunglasses, they sold out within hours. If she sat front and center at a show, the designerโs collection was picked up by every buyer in attendance. She made designers, models, writers, and photographers important, successful. She built careers. Or destroyed them when necessary.
And she hadnโt asked for or earned the chaos of the past year. For that I had to atone as well.
โSorry,โ I said again, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. The emerald winked at me under the fluorescent lights.
โCan I get you a drink?โ Rude S*x Hair was back. โI donโt know.ย Canย you?โ I shot back.
โWeโre fresh out of the blood of children, Satan. How about something that matches your personality?โ She was saying the words nicely. Sweetly even.
โIโll have aโโ
โUnsweetened iced tea,โ she filled in for me.
Bitter. Boring. Bland.
โIs this one of those places where you pay people to be assholes to you?โ I asked my mother.
โOh, honey. Iโm doing this for free.โ S*x Hair batted thick lashes in my direction.
I opened my mouth to destroy her.
โHeโll have water. Tap is fine,โ my mother cut in.
โAbsolutely. Now, how about dinner?โ S*x Hair flashed my mother a genuine grin.
โIโve heard rumors of your pizza crusts far and wide,โ Mom said coyly.
S*x Hair leaned in, a friend sharing secrets. โEvery word is true,โ she said. โItโs perfection.โ
I smelled lemons again.
โIn that case, Iโll have the personal with green onions and black olives.โ โYou are a woman of excellent taste,โ the mouthy server announced.
โHow about for you, Prince Charming?โ she asked.
โPepperoni. Personal.โ I closed the menu and held it out without looking at her.
โVery creative,โ she quipped.
So maybe it wasnโt fair of me. She obviously didnโt know she was pushing a button. That I still wasnโt confident in my ability toย beย creative, to be good at the job my mother needed me to do. But she said it. And I reacted.
โShouldnโt someone your age have a real job by now, Maleficent?
Because obviously youโre not good at this one.โ
The entire place went silent. The other patrons froze, gazes fixed on our table. S*x Hair met my eyes for one long beat. God, it felt good to let out some of the fight Iโd been bottling up for so long.
โSince you askedย soย nicely, Iโll be sure to give your orderย extraย special attention,โ she promised. The wink she gave me was so insolent, I almost got out of the booth to chase her into the kitchen.
โDonโt you dare,โ Mom said, grabbing my hand before I bolted.
โShe canโt get away with that. Weโre paying customers,โ I told her.
โYou are to sit there. Be polite. And eat whatever she sees fit to bring you,โ Mom ordered.
โFine. But if she poisons me, Iโll sue her and her entire family. Her great-grandchildren will feel my wrath.โ
My mother sighed theatrically. โWho hurt you, darling?โ It was a joke. But we both knew the answer wasnโt funny.