IโM TRYING TO NAP,ย but I canโt stop thinking about my pretty assistant.
Ex-assistant.
Fuck. I stare out the windows of my bedroom, where itโs pouring rain to match my mood. Iโve been thinking about her all day. Why do I care? Sheโll get snapped up by someone else in a heartbeat.
An ugly feeling spikes in my chest. I hate the idea of her setting up some other guyโs apartment, smiling for him and singing in his kitchen.
Thereโs a knock at my front door, and I frown. I wasnโt expecting anyone. When I reach the door, Daisy is already there, sniffing under it and wagging her tail.
I open it and freeze.
Mascara runs down Pippaโs face. Sheโs been crying? Pain shocks my chest, but her eyes are clear and her hair is soaked, bangs sticking to her forehead, and my chest muscles ease. At the sight of me, she straightens up, nostrils flaring. In the back of my mind, I notice how cute that is.
โHi,โ she says, and the long column of her throat works. She blinks.
Sheโs nervous. Sheโs holding a plastic container. There are cupcakes inside.
I frown again. โHowโd you get upstairs?โ She needs a key or to be buzzed in.
She waves me off. โThe guys from yesterday remembered me, and I gave them cupcakes.โ
Of course they let her up. This woman could talk a cop into handing over his gun. All sheโd have to do is smile and flick her ponytail, and heโd
be like,ย you want the bullets, too?ย Thereโs a weird, funny pressure in my chest, and for the first time in so long, I feel the urge to smile.
She shoves the container into my hands. โThese are for you.โ
I raise my eyebrows, staring at them through the clear plastic lid. โI havenโt had a cupcake in over a decade.โ
Her eyes bug out. โWhat? Thatโs so sad.โ She catches her reflection in the mirror behind me, which she must have hung yesterday. โOh my god.โ She wipes a finger under her eye to clean up the makeup. โIs this what I look like? Jesus.โ
Sheย doesย know that I fired her, right?
She turns back to me and takes a deep breath. โI did a good job yesterday.โ
I hesitate. Sheโs not wrong.
โNo.โ Her cheeks are flushed. โA great job. I can handle everything you throw at me, no problem. And you didnโt even introduce yourself.โ Her mouth tightens. โWho do you think you are, Ryan Gosling? You can just fire me like a dickhead?โ
I know Ryan Gosling. I met him at some NHL party last year that the team had to go to. Heโs a nice guy. Way nicer than me.
Is that her type? My jaw tenses. I donโt like that idea. โDickhead,โ I repeat.
โSorry.โ She winces. โIโm a person, you know. I deserve to be treated with respect.โ
Her eyebrows pinch together and she blinks rapidly, looking like a kicked puppy. Oh, fuck. My heart sinks. I hate this feeling. I hate her feeling like this, and I especially hate knowing that I did that.
Sheโs right. I was an asshole yesterday. I didnโt mean to be, though. I donโt know how to be normal around her. She showed up looking like a Disney princess, and I could barely say two words to her.
She points at Daisy, whoโs waiting by her feet, gazing up at Pippa with adoration. โI get along great with Daisy. Iโm sorry I was still here last night. I lost track of time, and it wonโt happen again. I promise youโll never have to see me.โ Her voice wavers. โIโll do whatever it takes to get my job back.โ
The air thickens with tension, and we both stare at each other. Is sheโฆ? In my head, images appear of us tangled up in bed. Sheโs beneath me, head
tipped back, eyes closed, with an expression of pleasure on her face as I thrust into her.
Iโm going to be thinking about that later with my hand around my cock, and I hate myself for that.
โThatโs not what I meant,โ she says quickly, cheeks flushing a deeper shade of pink. โI said that weird. I just mean, I really need this job, so whatever I did that made you think Iโm not a good fit, please let me know.โ
Thereโs no way I can tell her the truthโthat sheโs the girl I was obsessed with for two years in high school. And everything she said? Sheโs right. I like the way she set up my apartment. She tired Daisy out yesterday more than I could have. I can already tell this dog needs a ton of mental stimulation as well as physical exercise. Deep down, I trust her with this dog.
I should let the team find me another assistant. Pippaโs problems are not my problems. I have enough on my plate.
Just like at the shelter with Daisy, I ignore that hesitation. The way Pippaโs looking at me now, with a mix of determination and worry, her head held high like that? It gets me right in the middle of my chest.
I stare at her, studying her face. Even though she looks like a drowned rat, her eyes still sparkle. Her cheeks are flushed, so full of life and vibrancy, and my chest feels weird, like I have heartburn.
I raise an eyebrow at her. โYou call me a dickhead, and then you ask for your job back?โ
She shifts, wincing. โYes, I did.โ She flattens her lips, looking up at me with a guilty expression, and the determination in her eyes plucks at a muscle in my chest. โSorry.โ
I like this girl. Sheโs scrappy. It took a lot of guts for her to show up and call me a dickhead. No one talks to me like that.
I canโt screw her over like this. Iโll find a way to focus this year. I always do. Iโve had years to practice discipline. This year, Iโll just have to practice harder.
I canโt fire her, but I can keep her at armโs length.
I fold my arms over my chest, shifting on my feet against the doorframe. The back of my neck feels warm. โOkay.โ
She lights up, and for a moment, Iโm terrified sheโs going to throw her arms around my neck. โReally?โ
Terrified or excited. I donโt know.
โDonโt keep anything here,โ I add quickly.
She claps, and that riles Daisy up. She starts zooming around the apartment. Pippa beams at me, smile stretching wide across her face, and I feel like Iโm about to be sick.
โThank you.โ She clutches her hands together. โI promise, Iโll be great.โ Thatโs not the problem.
โI have training,โ I tell her. Itโs not for an hour, but Iโm not going to sit around the apartment, staring at her.
Sheโs already taking her jacket off. โNo problem. Iโve got everything under control here. Need any groceries?โ
I pull on my shoes and hesitate. I do need groceries.
At whatever my expression is, she nods. โI can get them. What do you like to eat?โ
โUh.โ The dietician for the team has detailed meal plans for every player, but I donโt want to rely on Pippa more than I need to. โI donโt know. Stuff.โ
She nods, smiling. โGreat. I can totally get that.โ I pull the door open. I need to get out of here.
โWait,โ she says, handing me the cupcakes. โTake these with you. You can give them to the team or whatever.โ
I give her a strange look. If I show up with cupcakes, Iโll never hear the end of it. Nevertheless, I take them. I canโt see that look of disappointment on her face again.
On the street outside, I open the container and shove one into my mouth. My eyes roll back in my head as the sugar hits my tongue, and I nearly moan in ecstasy.
Itโs the best fucking thing Iโve ever tasted.