MY JAW IS tight as I stalk back to the group. Something about my gait makes the guys move out of my way.
Fuck. Kissing Pippa was incredible. It’s like she was made for me.
I shouldn’t have done that, but something about Pippa makes me lose control. I can’t give her more than casual, and I know that’s not enough for her. That isn’t enough for me where she’s concerned, and that terrifies me.
At the booth, I down the rest of my beer, watching the entrance to the hallway, remembering how her soft mouth felt under mine, how her curves pressed into me, and how she gasped and rubbed against my cock. I don’t think she even realized she did that. The hazy, drugged look in her eyes lit my blood on fire. Every cell in my body wanted to throw her over my shoulder and carry her home before I fucked her into the mattress.
If Pippa and I were together, I’d never let her rest. The thought curls around the base of my spine, and my balls ache.
I stare at my empty beer glass. My pulse is still racing. Every nerve in my body is on high alert. I wasn’t even this amped up during my game tonight.
I can’t believe I did that. My eyes close. I said you’re my assistant, but what I meant was you’re special and I don’t want to hurt you. She’s been through the wringer. If I crushed her the way I crushed Erin, I couldn’t live with myself.
“You okay, buddy?” Owens asks, raising an eyebrow at me. I nod and drag a sobering breath in. “Fine.”
Behind him, Pippa meanders through the players to her seat. They’re calling out praise for her performance, and she’s giving them shy smiles.
My chest tightens, and the bar feels too small.
Owens glances between Pippa and me. “Oh.”
I glare at him, daring him to say something, but he just smirks.
Pippa reaches the table. “I’m going to go.” Her gaze darts to mine before she looks away.
I stand, pull out my wallet, and slip a few bills out, setting them on the table.
“Don’t leave on my account,” she tells me. “I’m going to walk.”
“It’s dark,” I say before I can catch myself. The idea of her walking down dark alleys makes my shoulders tense. “And I’m tired.”
Her gaze flicks to mine, and I regret leaving that hallway a few minutes ago. “Okay.” She puts on a bright smile for Owens. “Hayden, thanks for inviting me.”
He stands and gives her a bear hug. Her feet lift off the ground, and she laughs into his broad chest. “Anytime. We’re going to make you sing again.”
Something pinches in my gut as I watch them, and my teeth grit. I know he’s like this with everyone, but I don’t like it. I want to touch her like that.
When he puts her down, she’s flushed. “Maybe.”
Everyone gives Pippa hugs as we leave, and when we step out the door, she’s smiling her normal smile again.
“That was terrifying,” she tells me. “But I’m happy I did it.” “Playing for everyone?”
She nods and glances at me. “Thanks for encouraging me.”
My throat tightens as we walk. When she sang tonight, she looked like she was on top of the world. She smiled and sang and played like that fuckface Zach never happened. Like no one had hurt her, or like she had healed from it.
I want that for her. I want it so fucking badly.
That’s why we can’t do more of what we did tonight. She deserves so much better than me.
We stop at a crosswalk and wait for the light to change, and she rubs her arms, shivering. My eyebrows snap together.
“Cold?” I ask.
It’s early November. It isn’t raining, but the temperatures have dropped.
She’s wearing a light rain jacket with no insulation.
She nods. “We’ll be home soon.” I slip my jacket off.
She rolls her eyes. “Jamie. I’m fine.”
“Put this on. Now.” My voice is low, and I see her breath catch.
“Bossy,” she whispers, pulling it on. It’s huge on her. The sleeves are way too long.
She looks fucking adorable.
We walk home in silence, listening to the sounds of the city—the car horns, peoples’ conversations as we pass, noise from restaurants and bars. Inside the apartment, Pippa gives me a quick, tight smile before disappearing upstairs. I take Daisy on a long walk, thinking about Pippa the entire time, and when I climb into bed, certain that she’s sleeping, I pull my aching cock out and stroke it to the memory of her moaning into my mouth.
I broke Erin’s heart because I wasn’t careful, and I know better than to take chances.
This is as close to messing around with Pippa as I’ll get.
