The worst partย of being college rivals with Gus Everett? Probably the fact that I wasnโt sure he knew we were. He was three years older, a high school dropout whoโd gotten his GED after spending a few years working as a literal gravedigger. I knew all of this because every story he turned in our first semester was part of a collection centering on the cemetery where heโd worked.
The rest of us in the creative writing program were pulling fodder from our asses (and childhoods: soccer games won in the last instant, fights with parents, road trips with friends), and Gus Everett was writing about the eight kinds of mourning widows, analyzing the most common epitaphs, the funniest, the ones that subtly betrayed a strained relationship between the deceased and the person footing the headstoneโs bill.
Like me, Gus was at U of M on a slew of scholarships, but it was unclear how heโd gotten them, since he played no sports and hadnโt technically graduated from high school. The only explanation was that he was atrociously good at what he did.
To top things off, Gus Everett was stupidly, infuriatingly attractive. And not the universal kind of handsome that almost dulls itself with objectivity. It was more of a magnetism he emanated. Sure, he was just barely on the tall side of average, with the lean muscle of someone who never stopped moving around but also never intentionally exercisedโa lazy kind of fit
that came from genetics and restlessness rather than good habitsโbut it was more than that.
It was the way he talked and moved, how he looked at things. Not, like, how he saw the world. Literally how heย lookedย at things, his eyes seeming to darken and grow whenever he focused, his eyebrows furrowing over his dented nose.
Not to mention his crooked mouth, which shouldโve been outlawed.
Before she dropped out of U and M to become an au pair (a pursuit soon abandoned), Shadi would ask me nightly at dinner for updates on Sexy, Evil Gus, sometimes abbreviated as SEG. I was minorly besotted with him and his prose.
Until we finally spoke for the first time in class. I was passing out my latest short story for critique, and when I handed it to him, he looked me dead in the eyesโhis head tilted curiouslyโand said, โLet me guess: Everyone lives happily ever after. Again.โ
I wasnโt writing romance yetโI didnโt even realize how much I lovedย readingย romance until Momโs second diagnosis two years later, when I needed a good distractionโbut I was definitely writingย romantically, about aย good world, where things happened for a reason, where love and human connection were all that really mattered.
And Gus Everett had looked at me with those eyes, deepening and darkening like they were sucking every bit of information about me into his skull, and heโd determined that I was a balloon in need of popping.
Let me guess: Everyone lives happily ever after.ย Again.
We spent the next four years taking turns winning our schoolโs writing prizes and contests but managed to barely speak again, unless you counted workshops, during which he rarely critiqued anyoneโs stories except mine and nearly always showed up late without half his stuff and asked to borrow my pens. And there was one wild night at a frat party where weโd โฆ not quite talked, but definitely interacted.
Frankly, we crossed pathsย constantly, partly because he dated two separate roommates of mine and plenty of other girls on my floorโthough I use the termย datedย loosely. Gus was notorious for having a two-to-four- week dating shelf life, and while the first roommate had started things up with him hoping to be the exception, the second (and plenty of the others) went in fully aware Gus Everett was just someone you could have fun with, for up to thirty-one days.
Unless you wrote short stories with happy endings, in which case you were apparently far more likely to spend four years as rivals, pass another six occasionally Googling him to compare your careers, and then run into him here while dressed like a teen cheerleader at a car wash fundraiser.
As in, here. Now. Walking into Peteโs Books.
I was already planning what I would text Shadi as I power walked down the side of the store, chin tucked and face angled into the shelves like I was casually browsing (whilst practically jogging, as one does).
โJanuary?โ Pete was calling. โJanuary, whereโd you go? I want you to meet someone.โ
Iโm not proud to admit that when I froze, I was looking at the door, judging whether I could make it out of there without responding.
Itโs important to note that I knew for a fact there were bells over the door, and Iย stillย couldnโt make an immediate decision.
Finally, I took a deep breath, forced a smile, and stepped out from between the shelves, clutching my god-awful latte like it was a handgun. โHiiiiiiiiii,โ I said, then waved in a distinctly animatronic way.
I had to force myself to look directly at him. He looked just like he did in his author photo: all sharp cheekbones, furiously dark eyes, and the leanly muscled arms of a gravedigger turned novelist. He was wearing a rumpled blue (or faded black) T-shirt and rumpled dark blue (or faded black) jeans, and his hair had started streaking through with gray, along with the just- past-five-oโclock shadow around his crooked mouth.
โThis is January Andrews,โ Pete announced. โSheโs aย writer. Just moved here.โ
I could practically see the same realization dawning on his face that had just crashed down on mine, his eyes homing in as he pieced together whatever bits of me heโd caught in the dark last night.
โWeโve met, actually,โ he said. The fire of a thousand suns rushed to my face, and probably my neck and chest and legs and every other exposed inch of my body.
โOh?โ Pete said, delighted. โHowโs that?โ
My mouth fell open silently, the wordย collegeย somehow evading grasp, as my eyes shifted back to Gusโs. โWeโre neighbors,โ he said. โI believe?โ
Oh, God. Was it possible he didnโt remember me at all? My name was January, for shitโs sake. It wasnโt like I was a Rebecca or a Christy/Christina/Christine. I tried not to think too hard about how Gus
could have forgotten me, because doing so would only take my complexion from overcooked lobster to eggplant. โRight,โ I think I said. The phone beside the register began to ring, and Pete held up a finger excusing herself as she turned to answer it, leaving us alone.
โSo,โ Gus said finally. โSo,โ I parroted.
โWhat sort of thing do you write, January Andrews?โ
I did my best not to glance sideways at the stadium ofย Revelatories
curling around the table behind me. โRomance, mostly.โ Gusโs eyebrow arched. โAh.โ
โAh, what?โ I said, already on the defensive. He shrugged. โJust โah.โโ
I folded my arms. โThat was an awfully knowing โjust ah.โโ
He leaned against the desk and folded his arms too, his brow furrowing. โWell, that was fast,โ he said.
โWhat was?โ
โOffending you. One syllable. Ah. Pretty impressive.โ
โOffended? This isnโt my offended face. I look like this because Iโm tired. My weird-ass neighbor was blasting his crying soundtrack all night.โ
He nodded thoughtfully. โYeah, mustโve been the โmusicโ that was making it so hard for you to walk last night too. Hey, if you think you might have a โmusicโ problem, thereโs no shame in getting help.โ
โAnyway,โ I said, still fighting a blush. โYou never told me whatย youย write,ย Everett. Iโm sure itโs something really groundbreaking and important. Totally new and fresh. Like a story about a disillusioned white guy, wandering the world, misunderstood and coldly horny.โ
A laugh barked out of him. โโColdly hornyโ? As opposed to the very artfully handled sexual proclivities of your genre? Tell me, which do you find more fascinating to write: love-struck pirates or love-struck werewolves?โ
And now I was seething again.
โWell, itโs not really aboutย meย so much as what myย readersย want. Whatโs it like writing Hemingway circle-jerk fan fiction? Do you know all your readers by name?โ There was something sort of freeing about new January.
Gusโs head tilted in that familiar way and his brow knit as his dark eyes studied me, the intensity of them making my skin prickle. His full lips
parted as if he was about to speak, but just then Pete hung up the phone and slipped into our circle, cutting him off.
โWhat are the odds, eh?โ Pete asked, clapping her hands together. โTwo published writers on the same little street in North Bear Shores! I bet you two will be shooting the shit all summer. I told you this town was full of artists, didnโt I, January? How do you like that?โ She laughed heartily. โNo sooner had I said it than Everett marches right in! The universe is on my side today, looks like.โ
The ringing of my phone in my pocket saved me from having to answer. For once, I scrambled to answer the call, eager to escape this conversation. I was hoping for Shadi, but the screen readย ANYA, and my stomach sank.
I looked up to find Gusโs dark eyes burning into me. The effect was intimidating. I glanced toward Pete. โSorryโIโve got to take this, but it was lovely meeting you.โ
โBack atcha!โ Pete assured me as I retreated through the maze of shelves. โDonโt forget to mail me an email!โ
โSee you at home,โ Gus called after me.
I answered Anyaโs call and slipped outside.