Witness Interview Date: December 3o Name of witness: Roger
5ACC:ย Are you okayแนข
ROGER:ย What sort of question is thatแนข
5ACC:ย Your nose looks like itโs been bleeding.
ROGER:ย Yes, well, it does that sometimes, the quack says itโs โstress.โ Never mind that, just ask your questions.
5ACC:ย Okay, then. You went to the apartment viewing with your wife, Anna-Lenaแนข
ROGER:ย How do you know thatแนข
5ACC:ย Itโs in my notes.
ROGER:ย Why have you got notes about my wifeแนข
5ACC:ย Weโre interviewing all the witnesses.ย ROGER:ย You shouldnโt have notes about my wife.ย 5ACC:ย 5ust stay calm now.
ROGER:ย Iโm perfectly freaking calm.
5ACC:ย In my experience, thatโs what people who are anything but calm say.
ROGER:ย Iโm not going to answer any questions about my wife!
5ACC:ย No, okay, ๏ฌne. Can you answer some questions about the perpetrator, thenแนข
ROGER:ย How can I answer that until youโve asked themแนข
5ACC:ย To start with: Where do you think heโs hidingแนข
ROGER:ย Whoแนข
5ACC:ย Who do you thinkแนขย ROGER:ย The bank robberแนขย 5ACC:ย No, Waldo.
ROGER:ย Whoโs thatแนข
5ACC:ย You donโt know who Waldo isแนข Itโs the title of an old kidsโ book,
Whereโs Waldo?. Forget it, I was being sarcastic.
ROGER:ย I have no reason to read kidsโ books.
5ACC:ย Iโm sorry. Can you tell me where you think theย perpetratorย is hidingแนข
ROGER:ย How should I knowแนข
5ACC:ย I hope youโll forgive me pressing you for an answer, but we have reason to believe that the perpetrator is still in the apartment. I thought perhaps you might be able to help, because your wife says you do exhaustive research before each viewing. And that you check all the measurements on the plans.
ROGER:ย You canโt trust real estate agents. Some of them couldnโt even measure a ruler using another ruler.
5ACC:ย Thatโs exactly what I mean. Did you discover anything special about this particular apartmentแนข
ROGER:ย Yes. The real estate agent is an idiot.
5ACC:ย Whyแนข
ROGER:ย There were three feet missing from the measurements, between the walls.
5ACC:ย Reallyแนข Between which wallsแนข Can you show me on the planแนข
ROGER:ย There. You can hear it if you knock. The gap.
5ACC:ย Why would it be thereแนข
ROGER:ย Probably because this apartment and the one next door used to be one single larger apartment once upon a time, when people around here had more money and apartments were cheaper. Now
the whole housing marketโs being manipulated to screw ordinary people. Itโs the real estate agentsโ fault. And the banksโ. And people from Stockholm. Driving the prices up and everything. What the hell are you rolling your eyes forแนข
5ACC:ย Sorry. I donโt want to get involved. But havenโt you and your wife bought and sold a number of apartments as speculative investments in recent yearsแนข Surely that must push prices up as wellแนข
ROGER:ย So now thereโs something wrong with making a bit of money, tooแนข
5ACC:ย I didnโt say that.
ROGER:ย Iโm a good negotiator, and that isnโt a crime, you know!
5ACC:ย No, no, of course not.
ROGER:ย At least I thought I was a good negotiator.
5ACC:ย I donโt follow youแนข
ROGER:ย I used to be an engineer. Before I retired. Does it say that in your notesแนข
5ACC:ย Whatแนข No.
ROGER:ย So thatโs not relevant, thenแนข A whole life spent doing a job, and it isnโt relevant enough to be included in your notesแนข Do you know what my colleagues did in those last yearsแนข
5ACC:ย No.
ROGER:ย They were faking it. 5ust like her.
5ACC:ย Your wifeแนขย ROGER:ย No, Waldo.ย 5ACC:ย Whatแนข
ROGER:ย You think people in your generation are the only ones who can be sarcastic, boyแนข