Chapter no 16

Anxious People

5ACC: Is there anything more speciﬁc you could tell me about the perpetratorṢ

LONDON: You mean the bank robberṢ

5ACC: Yes.

LONDON: So why not just say that insteadṢ

5ACC: Is there anything more speciﬁc you could tell me about the

banh robberṢ

LONDON: Like whatṢ

5ACC: Do you remember anything about his appearanceṢ

LONDON: God, that’s such a superﬁcial question! You’ve got a really sick binary view of gender, yeahṢ

5ACC: I’m sorry. Can you tell me anything else about “the person”Ṣ

LONDON: You don’t have to use perverted commas for that.

5ACC: I’m afraid I’m going to have to say that I do. Can you tell me anything about the banh robber’s appearanceṢ For instance, was the bank robber a short bank robber or a tall bank robberṢ

LONDON: Look, I don’t describe people by their height. That’s really excluding. I mean, I’m short, and I know that can give a lot of tall people a complex.

5ACC: I’m sorryṢ

LONDON: Tall people have feelings, too, you know.

5ACC: Okay. Fine. Then I can only apologize again. Let me rephrase the question: Did the bank robber look like the sort of bank robber who might have a complexṢ

LONDON: Why are you rubbing your eyebrows like thatṢ It’s really creepy.

5ACC: I’m sorry. What was your ﬁrst impression of the bank robberṢ

LONDON: Okay. My ﬁrst “impression” was that the “bank robber” seemed to be a complete moron.

5ACC: I’ll interpret that as suggesting that it’s perfectly okay to have a binary attitude to intelligence.

LONDON: WhatṢ

5ACC: Nothing. On what did you base your assumption that the bank robber was a moronṢ

LONDON: I was handed a note saying “Give me six thousand ﬁve hundred kronor.” Who the hell would rob a BANK for six and a half thousandṢ You rob banks to get ten million, something like that. If all you want is six thousand ﬁve hundred exactly, there must be some very special reason, mustn’t thereṢ

5ACC: I have to confess that I hadn’t thought of it like that.

LONDON: You should think more, have you ever thought about thatṢ

5ACC: I’ll do my best. Can I ask you to take a look at this sheet of paper and tell me if you recognize itṢ

LONDON: ThisṢ Looks like a kid’s drawing. And what’s it supposed to be anywayṢ

5ACC: I think that’s a monkey, and a frog and a horse.

LONDON: That’s not a horse. That’s an elk!

5ACC: Do you thinkṢ All my colleagues have guessed either a horse or a giraffe.

LONDON: Hang on. I just got a flash in my bud.

5ACC: No, stay focused now, London—so you think this is an elkṢ HelloṢ Put your phone down and answer the question!

LONDON: Yes!

5ACC: SorryṢ

LONDON: At last! At last!