5ACC:ย Youโd probably be more comfortable if you sat on the chair instead of the floor.
LONDON:ย Have you got something wrong with your eyes or somethingแนข You can see that the charging cable for my cell phone wonโt reach the chair.
5ACC:ย And moving the chair is out of the question, obviously.
LONDON:ย Whatแนข
5ACC:ย Nothing.
LONDON:ย Youโve got really crap reception in here. Like, one barโฆ
5ACC:ย Iโd like you to switch your phone off now so I can ask my questions.
LONDON:ย Iโm not stopping you, am Iแนข Ask away. Are you really a copแนข You look too young to be a cop.
5ACC:ย Your name is London, is that correctแนข
LONDON:ย โCorrect.โ Is that how you talkแนข You sound like youโre doing role-play with someone who gets turned on by accountants.
5ACC:ย Iโd appreciate it if you could try to take this seriously. Your name is L-o-n-d-o-nแนข
LONDON:ย Yes!
5ACC:ย I have to say, thatโs an unusual name. Well, maybe not unusual, but interesting. Whereโs it fromแนข
LONDON:ย England.
5ACC:ย Yes, I understand that. What I meant was, is there a special reason why youโre called thatแนข
LONDON:ย Itโs what my parents decided to call me. Have you been smoking somethingแนข
5ACC:ย You know whatแนข Letโs forget that and just move on.
LONDON:ย Itโs not worth getting upset about, is itแนข
5ACC:ย Iโm not upset.
LONDON:ย Right, because you donโt sound at all upset.
5ACC:ย Letโs focus on the questions. You work in the bank, is that correctแนข And you were working at the counter when the perpetrator came inแนข
LONDON:ย Perpetratorแนข
5ACC:ย The bank robber.
LONDON:ย Yes, thatโs โcorrect.โ
5ACC:ย You donโt have to do that with your ๏ฌngers.
LONDON:ย Theyโre perverted commas. Youโre writing this down, right, so I want you to use perverted commas when I do that, so anyone reading your notes will get that Iโm being ironic. Otherwise anyone reading this is going to think Iโm a complete moron!
5ACC:ย Theyโre called inverted commas.ย LONDON:ย Is there an echo in here or somethingแนขย 5ACC:ย I was just telling you what theyโre called.
LONDON:ย I was just telling you what theyโre called!
5ACC:ย Thatโs not what I sound like.
LONDON:ย Thatโs not what I sound like!
5ACC:ย Iโm going to have to ask you to take this more seriously. Can you tell me about the robberyแนข
LONDON:ย Look, it wasnโt even a robbery. Weโre a cashless bank, okayแนข
5ACC:ย Please, just tell me what happened.
LONDON:ย Did you put that my name is Londonแนข Or have you just put โwitnessโแนข I want you to use my name, in case this ends up online and I get famous.
5ACC:ย This isnโt going to end up online.
LONDON:ย Everything ends up online.ย 5ACC:ย Iโll make sure I use your name.ย LONDON:ย Sick.
5ACC:ย Sorryแนข
LONDON:ย โSick.โ Donโt you know what โsickโ meansแนข It meansย good, okayแนข
5ACC:ย I know what it means. I just didnโt hear what you said.
LONDON:ย I just didnโt hear what you saaaidโฆ
5ACC:ย How old are youแนข
LONDON:ย How old areย youแนข
5ACC:ย Iโm asking because you seem quite young to be working in a bank.
LONDON:ย Iโm twenty. And Iโm, like, only a temp, because no one else wanted to work the day before New Yearโs Eve. Iโm going to study to be a bartender.
5ACC:ย I didnโt know you needed to study to do that.
LONDON:ย Itโs tougher than being a cop, anyway.
5ACC:ย Of course it is. Can you tell me about the robbery now, pleaseแนข
LONDON:ย God, could you be any more annoyingแนข Okay, Iโll tell you about the โrobberyโโฆ
