Black Flag Bay was in the distance, fading away, collapsing into a caramel-colored sky. Eira was no longer at the helm of the Stormfrost. Adela had resumed her command and charted a direct
course for Carsovia, their storerooms fully replenished. Oddly, despite the events of the day, Adela seemed to have no interest in speaking with Eira. There would’ve been a time when this had worried Eira, but, at present, she couldn’t find it within herself to be bothered.
Her core was still molten, swirling at the lingering memories of Cullen and his mouth on her. Her hip burned with the feeling of Olivin’s hand grasping it. To think, at one point she felt torn over these men. Over things like who was the best for her or who would make her happier. Torn over guilt for not knowing who her heart was drawn to more.
But in this moment…she was as free as the sea breeze. As bright as the distant sun. Opportunities were as vast as the horizon and her life as worth exploring as an uncharted course. She didn’t need to have all the answers right now. It’d be doing them all a disservice to try. And she’d been completely honest with both men—with all her friends—on where she stood and what she didn’t yet know.
Her whole life was still ahead of her. So much to discover once the Pillars were dealt with. And, after utterly trouncing their ship, even they felt surmountable. For the first time, Eira felt like she had all the resources at her disposal to bring Ulvarth to his knees and he wouldn’t even know it was coming.
Eira rested with her hands on the railing of the back of the ship, reflecting on the events of the day. She didn’t even notice Cullen approaching until he took a position next to her, their sides flush against each other.
“I think I owe you,” he said, somewhat coy.
“I think you do,” she replied with a chuckle. “I’m going to hold you to
it.”
Cullen laughed as well. “I hope you do. I hope you hold a lot more than
that to me.” He glanced in her direction with a smirk.
“I could arrange that, once we’re no longer on a ship with everyone looking over everyone else’s shoulders.” She leaned away from the railing, drawing her height and power with it. The currents beneath them still responded to her whims, doing as she bid. “I’m afraid I don’t feel inclined for an audience.”
“Neither do I.”
“Cullen…” Seriousness slipped its way into his name. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Always a dangerous thing to do.”
“Agreed. I’ve been thinking that once this is all over…once Ulvarth is dead, the Pillars are disbanded and nothing more than a few zealots clinging to a bygone ideal that whatever government Meru instates can deal with… once my parents are saved, the nations have peace, and Vi Solaris has her treaty…”
“Only a few things,” he interjected.
“One or two.” She shrugged as though everything she had listed were trivial matters. “I’ve been thinking that I’m not going to return to Solaris.”
“No?” He shifted away from the railing, looking at her with a furrowed brow. Eira wondered if for the first time he was seeing her. Truly seeing her as the person she was meant to be. Probably because for the first time she felt like she could really be that person—or, rather, she had any idea who that person was.
“I want to see my parents safe and returned to their home, same with my uncle. But it is their place, not mine; Solaris is not my home.”
“They love you, you know.”
“I know.” And for the first time she did. It was unequivocal, without fear, and no doubts or caveats attached. “They came halfway across the world to watch me compete. They left everything to be there, even though I
wish they hadn’t. I know they have been imperfect and, if I’m being honest, there are things that I will never quite forgive them for…but I know they’re trying. And, to a point, that’s good enough. Maybe not good enough for us to spend our winters together huddled around hearths, or summers on Oparium’s beaches, but good enough to sit around the table whenever I’m in town and reminisce about when times were simple and good and easy. They loved me as best they knew how.”
He was silent for a long time. Eira wondered if Cullen was thinking of his own father. Surely he too had wondered what had become of him…but Cullen had said very little about it, and it was something that Eira didn’t feel like it was her place to push. Whatever he was working through was for him alone, until he invited her in.
“If not Solaris, where? What next?” he finally asked.
Eira shrugged. “I don’t know where or what will happen when all this is over, assuming I survive.”
“Of course you will survive,” Cullen said firmly and quickly.
She gave him a small smile. “It was a wonder that we survived the coliseum. I have no expectations. I know what I’m going into. But,” she continued before he could make another defensive statement, “assuming I do, I think I want to go and search for what home is to me.”
“Where are you going to search for it?”
“Anywhere. Everywhere.” The words were as light as the seabirds that followed the ship, gliding effortlessly. “Maybe my true home is somewhere out there across the distance seas. Maybe it’s just over that horizon.” Eira pointed to the distance. “Maybe it is still back in Solaris and I won’t know that until I’ve explored everywhere else and have come to realize that nowhere fits me better.”
Eira savored the feeling of the deck under her feet, a firm contrast to the gently rocking seas. A massive ocean that stretched far beyond her and yet that her power mingled with. The salt wind in her hair… There was a peace here indeed, somewhere she could stay until she found the place she was meant to be.
“I think I’m going to take the ship that Adela gives us and when all this is over, I’m going to explore as far as I can go—as far as the winds and currents allow.”
Cullen was silent again. She gave him his space to process what she had just said. A knot twisted in her gut, wringing out the heat that had lingered
from earlier. Cullen was finding himself as much as she was finding herself. But if any part of him was called back to titles, and courts, and balls…this was the end for them. Maybe not immediately, but eventually. Because, while Eira didn’t yet know where she was meant to be, she knew it wasn’t among the ranks of nobility. Hopefully, it wouldn’t stop them from enjoying each other’s company in the meantime…
“Well, if you’re going to go as far as the sea allows, then having a Windwalker at your side would prove useful.”
Eira’s attention jerked to him. She could feel her lips part as her jaw went slack with surprise. She heard him clearly. And yet, she doubted her ears.
“Cullen…what you’re saying—”
“I know what I’m saying,” he stopped her there, gently. Cullen took her hand and laced his fingers with hers. “Every captain needs a first mate. Or, at the very least, someone who can make sure the wind is always in their sails.”
“But your family…”
“My father is probably dead,” he said softly. On instinct he turned back east, looking in the direction of Meru. “My stepmother, a widow, will have the sympathy of the court. She’ll be fine. And I was never particularly her favorite to begin with… There’s not much else for me there. Other than a life of contorting myself into the mold others have set for me. A mindless existence where I never stop to ask myself what I actually want in the midst of it all.”
Eira silently admitted it sounded horrible…but that had been the life that he’d chosen—or at least accepted—until now. Could he really just walk away from it?
“Be that as it may, the life I want to live isn’t one of accolades and ease.
It will be hardship and hungry nights and cold days.”
“If I hunger, it will be only for your kisses. If I am cold, it is only because I am waiting for you to come and warm me.” He met her eyes, taking a half step closer. “Your home might be out there, somewhere…but I truly believe my home might be with you.”
“And what if I choose someone else?” she whispered.
“Olivin? You can say his name.” Cullen chuckled. “We’re both well aware of the other.”
“You never know, some other burly deckhand could sweep me off my feet and steal my heart.” Eira slid her braid over her shoulder and glanced at him from the corners of her eyes.
“Fair.” Somehow, Cullen still didn’t seem bothered. “Eira, I know you can’t promise how you’ll feel, who you’ll choose, if anyone. Just like I can’t promise how I might feel in a year, five years, or beyond. Forever is a long time from now. But right now I understand that you need to find what you want, for yourself. Just as I am doing. So even if he’s there at your side, too, even if you have a hundred lovers, I still want to go with you because I’m not going for him, or them, or anyone else; I’m going for myself and for you.”
Shock crashed over her. The heat had returned, flushing her body from head to toe and filling her with yearning and admiration. With all the emotions that she hadn’t felt toward Cullen in a long time, and perhaps never this sincerely or powerfully.
“Are you sure?” She tried to prevent her hope from slipping into her voice. This had to be his decision alone.
“If I change my mind, I’ll let you know.” “But—”
“Eira, you kept telling me that I couldn’t always live for others. That I had to live for myself. I took your words to heart. This is what I want for myself and I’m going in with both eyes open.”
“Then…” Her fingers tightened around his. “I would be honored to have you as part of my future crew.”
 |
The anchor clamored with grinding metal and heavy clanking as it fell along the side of the ship and splashed into the water. In the distance was a strip of gray at the very edge of the horizon, where the hazy sky of dawn met the water. Thin enough that it was possible it was just an illusion. But Eira knew better.
It was Carsovia.
“Her Iciness would like to see you before you go ashore,” Crow interrupted the brief conversation that they had all been having at the bow
of the vessel, debating what fate held next for them. Trying to make what plans they were able. It seemed Eira would get answers for them all.
“I’ll be back soon, I’m sure.” She bid farewell to her friends and followed Crow down to Adela’s cabin. Crow stood off to the side, as she usually did, allowing Eira to enter alone.
Adela was situated back at her usual table. But instead of sitting, she stood, poring over maps. Metal cartographer’s tools glinted in the sunlight as they danced over the tanned and dyed leathers. The pirate queen hardly looked up as Eira crossed over.
“We are here,” Adela said without fanfare, pointing to one of the coasts on her map. “The mines are here.” Her finger slid back to the southwest.
“Why not dock off this port?” Eira pointed at a town adjacent to the mines, just southeast. It looked like it was the end of the closest road to the mines.
“Too many ships. We’ll be spotted in an instant by Carsovia’s navy. This is a harder route, but a safer one. More guaranteed that you’ll get there, assuming your better sense doesn’t leave you on land. Once you’ve done what you need to, go through that town and steal a boat to return here.”
“Is this the boat that you promised?” Eira folded her arms.
“What? Not good enough for you?” Adela summoned her cane with a thought as she leaned away from the table.
“It just makes me wonder why I didn’t steal a boat at Black Flag Bay.”
“Because everyone there would’ve killed you for it. And, had you miraculously survived, you would’ve crossed the pirate queen, which does not promise longevity.” She motioned to the maps with an open palm. “This way, you not only end up with a boat, but my favor.”
“A valuable thing indeed.”
“Glad you have enough sense to think so. We still have work to do, you and I.” Adela paused. She added, “If something goes amiss, and your vessel is sunk in the process of getting it back to the Stormfrost—or it isn’t truly seaworthy—I will ensure you get a proper one.”
“Generous of you.”
“I’m told I have a soft spot for you.” Adela gave her a thin smile. “And why is that?”
She chuckled, shook her head, and ignored the question, returning to the maps. “It should take you two days to get the mines from here. I’ll move the
Stormfrost on the night of the third day and hold my position for one dawn and one dusk. If you’re not back by then, I’m leaving you for dead.”
“Not that much of a soft spot,” Eira said with a playful note. “More than I would give most.”
“Then I’m going to leverage your fondness and ask that those from Qwint be taken home if I don’t return. My friends too, if they make it out without me.” When the pirate queen said nothing in reply, Eira placed her hands on the table and looked Adela in the eyes. “Please.”
“Granted,” she said after a moment’s consideration. “But I expect you to prove to me that all our training—all the investment I put in you—wasn’t for naught.”
“I’ll do my best,” Eira vowed and pushed away from the table. “If there’s nothing else…”
“I want his right foot, as proof of his demise,” Adela said coldly. “A foot for a foot.”
Eira paused, staring at Adela’s frozen leg. The pirate queen looked out her window with a sour expression, her gaze piercing Carsovia in the distance.
“I’ll bring it to you.” Eira had no hesitation.
“Good, I expect nothing less.” Adela continued to stare out the windows as Eira took her leave.
Most of the crew had surrounded the small boat that was pulled up to the railing on the side of the Stormfrost. Her friends were already positioned in the vessel, along with Crow and Pine. To Eira’s surprise, Lavette and Varren were included.
“Varren?” Eira said softly as she approached the railing. “What are you doing?” Her words had gone soft with surprise. With the answer she already knew.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” He forced a grin. So clearly trying to be brave. So clearly failing.
And yet, he genuinely seemed all the stronger despite it, from his windswept red hair to his ruddy, freckled cheeks to match. And that snaggletooth smile that kept on despite all he’d been through.
“You need a guide, and I’m the only one who really knows this land. I know the ins and outs of the mines. Plus, I have some unfinished business of my own there.”
“You told us all the details; we will be all right.” Eira had committed to memory every story of Slip and the mines that he’d imparted.
“Believe me, I made every effort to talk him out of this,” Lavette said dryly. There was a sharpness to her gaze that radiated displeasure. “It’s really up to you to tell him not to.”
“I’m not going to do that; it’s his decision,” Eira said, ignoring the pointed look Lavette gave her.
“Good, let’s shove off before I change my mind.” Varren situated himself.
Eira boarded the boat. It was Varren and Lavette in the back. Eira positioned herself in front of Lavette in the same row as Noelle and Alyss. In front of them were the pirates, Ducot wedged between them. Cullen, Olivin, and Yonlin all crammed in the bow.
Crow called for the boat to be lowered and ropes groaned. It swayed slightly and that was the opportunity Lavette used. The one Eira could sense she’d wanted and had given her.
“If anything happens to him, it’s on you.” She’d leaned in to whisper to Eira, breath hot on the back of Eira’s neck.
Eira glanced over her shoulder. “I’m not dictating what people can and can’t do.”
“That’s your job.” Lavette clearly didn’t want Varren to come. She probably didn’t want to come herself—and for good reason. Eira hardly blamed them and so she ignored Lavette’s cutting remarks.
“My job is to keep everyone informed so we can all make the best decisions we can.”
Lavette snorted and leaned away.
Eira shifted her attention to both of them, and before Lavette could speak again, she said, “Adela said she would bring you two to Qwint, no matter what happened to us.”
“What?” Lavette and Varren seemed to say in unison. They both stared at her with wide eyes.
“I asked her to. I didn’t think you were coming and I wanted to make sure that you would get home. If you don’t want to come, I can build you a ladder of ice to get back up,” Eira said hastily.
“Eira,” Varren interrupted softly. “Thank you. But I’m going. I need to do this. Not just for you all, or to get back home, but for me.”
She saw the resolve in his eyes as the rowboat splashed down into the ocean. Varren’s determination and fear were equally palpable. So it wasn’t just for her. Eira gave him a small smile and a nod, turning forward. Lavette might still blame her, and that was fine with Eira. She could handle the responsibility and the blame that came with it.
“Eira, if you please.” Crow gestured to the mainland.
Summoning her magic, she called upon a swell of water. It collected behind the rowboat and they sped off, propelled by a current of Eira’s making. It arced through the water, turning toward the shore. The sun was rising, illuminating the distant strip of land as it rose up from the sea the closer they drew. These weren’t the sloping, gentle shores of the pirate island, but rocky bluffs more akin to the Solaris cliffs Eira was familiar with around Oparium.
“See that dark line in the rock?” Crow called over the wind. Eira nodded. “Go there.”
She did as she was told. The line in the rock was actually a split between two cliffs, a crack that went all the way down to the ocean, where it parted in two with a breeze like a sigh. Eira slowed the current as they entered the natural tunnel. The rock here was different than in Solaris, a pale white and compacted together like columns.
“Did a sorcerer make this?” Yonlin asked. The stone looked too perfect to be natural.
Alyss reached out and ran her fingertips across one of the columns as they passed. “If so, it was a very long time ago…”
“You might not be able to sense anything,” Varren said. “The cliffs have been around for eons. In Carsovia this region is called the Broken Wall of Thecules.”
“Who was Thecules?” Noelle asked.
“A sorcerer so powerful that he created these sheer cliffs across the entire eastern coast with a wave of his hand to keep back the ravaging seas of the early ages that would’ve consumed the land of Carsovia.” Varren spoke as though he’d had to repeat those “facts”—a generous term—many times. “He went on to become the first Emperor of Carsovia. It is said he lived a thousand years and bedded a thousand woman. He was the one to unite the far kingdoms under his banner. They called him the Lord of Endless Blood.”
“Cheerful,” Noelle muttered.
“It’s Carsovia. If the history isn’t written in the blood of the conquered, it’s not worth sharing…” Varren trailed off. His eyes were haunted in the low light of Olivin’s magic circle.
“Not sure how good the wall is at keeping out primordial seas. But it’s pretty miserable at keeping out pirates.” Crow grinned.
The tunnel opened to a small pool, surrounded by the columns like stepping stones. With no more water, Eira guided the boat to one of the lowest stone plateaus. Her friends needed no further instruction to disembark.
They got out one by one. Ducot, Cullen, Olivin, and Yonlin went first. Then Eira, Alyss, and Noelle. She reached a hand back, helping Lavette out.
Then it was Varren’s turn.
He stood in the rowboat, perfectly still. Eira held the boat in her grasp with the water around it. Varren stared at the rock as if he were squaring off with the man who ran the mines himself.
“It’s not too late, Varren. You can go back,” Eira said softly.
“None of us will think less of you,” Lavette added. The rest of them nodded in agreement. “If you want me to, I’ll go back with you. Gladly.”
Varren looked from the stone up to Lavette. He held out his hand to her
—to the woman who had guided and guarded him from the first moment he had left Carsovia. Eira stepped aside, giving them space. Lavette reluctantly took his hand and helped him out of the boat.
One foot. Then two. Varren stood, staring at his feet, then back at the rowboat. As if he couldn’t believe that he had managed to do it. As if they’d moved on their own.
With a fire in his eyes, Varren turned back to them. His tone left no room for questioning. “Let’s go.”
