She remembered this feeling all too well.
It had been imprinted upon her soul. Written by his lips and fingers and tongue. He tasted of the brine from the sea. Faintly of
sweat that rolled off with the water. But there was more to him and more to this kiss. His hand shifted, fingers curling around the back of her neck.
Unlike when he’d kissed her in Adela’s cabin—out of fear and desperation—this was slow and purposeful. Easy. Cullen kissed her as if to consume her whole, passion deepening, his tongue sliding past her lips and causing her whole body to tingle. She ran her hand up his arm, to his cheek, and then down his chest. The plane of unbroken skin reminded her of how the majority of their clothes had been left behind on the beach. How bare they both were. How the soaked scraps of what remained on their bodies left so very little to the imagination.
As if he read her mind, Cullen shifted and the slick expanse of his body settled along hers. Kissing him was like the first bracing breath of winter’s air. It was the first drink after a hot summer’s day. It was life and rejuvenation. It woke her body not with throbbing, restless need, but a steady pull of his strong hands as they slid down her sides.
Her nails dug into him slightly, scraping his skin as her hands balled into fists. Eira arched into him, clutching him with all her might. Knowing she had to let go.
Breaking the kiss, they shared ragged breaths. He pressed his forehead against hers. His wet hair fell around his face.
“What is it?” Cullen whispered, eyes searching hers. “What’s wrong?”
“I…I can’t do this with you.” The words ripped through her chest, coming from the woman she once was. “You deserve better.”
“It is not your decision what I ‘deserve.’” He shifted to kiss both her cheeks and then pierced her with a hard stare. “I want you. As much—more than I ever have before. I have looked at you every day with yearning, watching in awe as you’ve transformed yourself into a new and stunning creature. Dying inside until I could find a moment to steal you away.”
“You should be with a woman who knows what she wants.” The dripping of water from the roof of the cavern was almost louder than her words. “I…still don’t.”
Cullen eased back, sitting on his heels. Eira sat as well, glancing down through the transparent water at the underwater cave they’d swum in through, thinking back to Olivin. She suppressed a shiver as the air suddenly felt colder.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured.
“Tell me something.” His words drew her attention back to him. Cullen still had that expectant, impossible-to-hide-from stare. “The part of your heart that loved me once. Is it there? Or has it completely withered beyond all hope?”
“Sometimes, I’m still so annoyed with you I’m surprised my eyes don’t pop,” she admitted and they both chuckled softly. “But, most often…I find myself admiring you. I look at you and I see the man I went to court with. Who was there for me after Marcus’s death in ways no one else was. I see a man who makes me feel safe. Who’s begun to fight for himself and makes me curious to see who he will become when all is said and done.”
“But is it—could it be love?” He seemed like he was hardly breathing, hanging on her words.
“I think so,” she admitted. “It’s not the blind and dangerously fiery passion I once felt. But it’s…deeper. Richer. I’m not blind to your faults and, somehow, I still want you. Even if I don’t always understand why, and sometimes wish I didn’t, I still want you near me. Touching me. Every time I look at you, I can’t help but feel like there’s so much left for us to explore together. You are equal parts known and unknown to me.”
Cullen slowly reached out, his fingers closing around hers. He held her hand with both of his, guiding it to his face. He kissed the backs of each of her knuckles.
“Then nothing must change.”
“But Olivin, he and I—”
Cullen shook his head. “I don’t need to know. I understand and accept the position you’re in. But I don’t want all the details.” He smirked slightly. “If you’re willing to spare me those?”
“Of course.” Eira could hardly believe what she was hearing. First Olivin, and now this? What about her made these men willing to hover in limbo?
“My offer to give you time to sort through your heart, and…his offer as well, I assume, did not have a short leash. These things need care and space. It’s all right to move slowly. Really, it was foolish of me—of us—to think we could know the complete design of our hearts for what we wanted into eternity from a few months together. A few weeks, really.” His eyes drifted up to hers with a soft chuckle. “If I am to have you for forever, then I want it to be a future you yearn for. I want you to look back and know, beyond all doubt, that I was the one.”
“I want the same for you,” she whispered.
“We share in that. I hope to find my own path, my own home, just as you are.” He nodded.
The sentiment made her crack a smile that almost broke into tears. Not because it meant that there was a possibility of their lives charting similar courses. But because he was looking after himself. He was still dedicated to mending all the pieces within him that had been broken, dented, or ignored over the years.
“It only took taking you away from everything you’ve ever known and pirate kidnapping to make you begin exploring what you actually wanted for yourself.”
He smirked. “Some of us are late bloomers.”
Cullen shifted. He leaned over her, forcing Eira to lie back in the process. Her heart began to race again, faster than before. She had reinforced permission now to enjoy this. She could do so without guilt. No more hesitation. Only exploration.
He positioned himself atop her once more; this time the weight of his body pressed her into the sand. His warmth overwhelmed her senses, easing away all remaining vestiges of chill that had settled into her bones.
“I just want you to enjoy yourself,” he whispered against the shell of her ear. “And I want to enjoy myself, with you. Maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll
have years ahead of us to continue doing so. But if it’s not meant to be, then we will always look back on this moment with a satisfied little smirk.”
He returned his mouth to hers. A deep, slow kiss. The world narrowed onto him. All thoughts vanished.
Every ache was smoothed away as he ran his hands over her. The wet fabric of her shirt clung to her breasts. His hot fingertips rumpling the liquid cotton made her whole body ache, tensing to attention.
Cullen kissed down her neck, to her collarbone. He kissed over her chest, his breath hot through the fabric. A whimper escaped her lips. It felt so good to be touched like this. To be wanted and needed. To not worry about the rest of the world for just a little while and lose herself in a moment.
Tension was already arching her lower back as he reached her bare abdomen. His fingers dug into her hips as his mouth continued trailing down. Fire erupted in her.
“Cullen,” Eira said breathlessly. Everything else was vanishing from her mind. The only thing she could think was his name. “I…you…”
“If you want me to stop, I will. Say the word,” he murmured across her flesh, kissing around and beneath her bellybutton. “But, if not…just relax and enjoy, Eira.”
She did as she was told. She stopped fighting the worry and concern that threatened to pull her mind back to reality and force her to overthink the moment. It all faded away as he reached his goal. She let out a sharp gasp, eyes snapping open. Everything was so vivid and bright. So beautiful. His mouth and fingers drove her to new heights that Eira had never known. There were parts of her body that tingled and shuddered that she didn’t even know existed. Her core had turned to churning molten, ripe with
desire as he lavished his affections upon her.
Curling her toes, Eira pressed her eyes closed. She was a bow. Arching. Taut. Ready to snap and spring loose. The sweet, sweet release of breaking was so close. Cullen seemed to know it, too. Everything he was doing remained consistent and yet was somehow more.
Just when it was all about to snap, an unfamiliar voice echoed in to them, “You’re sure they’ll be here this time?”
