โโAaron,โ Mr. Shaw said. โIf you could be so kind as to give us a moment.โโ
Aaron didnโt seem inclined to leave Sloane in a room with his father, and that told me volumes about them both.
โAaron,โ Mr. Shaw said again, his voice perfectly pleasant. The older man had a powerful aura. I knew, before Aaron did, that he would give in to his fatherโs demand.
You canโt fight him,ย I thought, watching Aaron go.ย No one can.
Once Aaron was gone, Mr. Shaw turned the full force of his presence on the rest of us. โIโd like a moment with Sloane alone,โ he said.
โAnd Iโd like a dress made of rainbows and a bed full of puppies who never grow old,โ Lia shot back. โNot happening.โ
โLia,โ Judd said mildly. โDonโt antagonize the casino mogul.โ
I took Juddโs tone to mean that he wasnโt planning on leaving Sloane alone with her father, either.
โMr. Hawkins.โ The mogul in question surprised me by knowing Juddโs last name. โIf I wish to speak to my daughter, I will speak to my daughter.โ
Sloaneโs expression was painfully transparent when he said the wordย daughter.ย He meant it as an expression of ownership. She couldnโt help hopingโdesperately hopingโthat it might be one of care.
โSloane,โ Judd said, ignoring Shawโs display of dominance, โwould you like to go back to the room?โ
โSheโd like,โ Shaw said, his words very precise, โto speak with me. And unlessย youย would like me to let it slip to interested parties that your agent friends have been visiting teenagers in the Renoir Suite, youโll let Sloane do as she pleases.โ
We should have set our base of operations up off the Strip,ย I realized.
Off the radar, out of the wayโ
โCassie and Lia stay.โ Sloaneโs voice came out tiny. She cleared her throat and tried again. โYou can go,โ she told Judd, her chin held high. โBut I want Cassie and Lia to stay.โ
For the first time since heโd entered the room, Sloaneโs father actually looked at his daughter. โThe redhead can stay,โ he said finally. โThe lie detector goes.โ
I realized thenโSloaneโs father knows what Lia can do. He doesnโt just know that thereโs a connection between us and the FBI. He knows everything. How could he possibly know everything?
โSloane.โ Juddโs voice was as calm as if he were sitting at the kitchen table, doing his morning crossword. โYou donโt have to do anything you donโt want to do.โ
โItโs fine,โ Sloane said, her fingers tapping nervously against her thigh. โIโll be fine. Just go.โ
Sloaneโs father waited until the door was closed before turning his attention back to his daughterโand to me. Clearly, I hadnโt rated as a threat. Or maybe heโd just realized that Judd was never going to leave Sloane in here alone, and I was the lesser evil.
The fact that heโd kicked Lia out made me wonder what lies he was planning to tell.
โYou look well, Sloane.โ Shaw took a seat behind the desk.
โIโm twelve percent taller than I was the last time you came to see me.โ
Shaw frowned. โHad I known you were going to be in Vegas, I would have made alternative arrangements for your littleโฆgroup.โ
Alternative arrangementsย as inย farther away from him and his.
I replied so that Sloane didnโt have to. โYou know what our group does.
How?โ
โI have friends in the FBI. Iโm the one who suggested Sloane for your Agent Briggsโs little program.โ
Sloane blinked rapidly, like heโd just tossed a bucket of water in her face. Michaelโs father had traded him to the FBI for immunity on white- collar crimes. Sloaneโs, apparently, had just wanted her out of town and away from his son.
โYou need to stay away from my family.โ Shawโs voice was deceptively gentle as he refocused on Sloane. He sounded like Aaron had, his voice calm and soothing, but there was no mistaking his words. โI have Aaronโs mother to think about.โ
โAnd the little girl.โ The words escaped Sloaneโs mouth.
โYes,โ Shaw said. โWe have to think about Cara. Sheโs just a child.
None of this is her fault, is it?โ he asked, his tone still so gentle, I wanted to hit him as hard as Michael had punched the man at the pool.
None of this is Sloaneโs fault, either.ย โTell me you understand, Sloane.โ Sloane nodded.
โI need to hear you say it.โ
โI understand,โ Sloane whispered.
Shaw stood. โYouโll stay away from Aaron,โ he reiterated. โIt would behoove you to encourage your FBI friends to do the same.โ
โThis is a serial murder investigation,โ I said, breaking my silence. โYou donโt get to dictate who the investigators do and do not talk to.โ
Shaw turned his eyesโthe same blue as Aaronโs, the same blue as Sloaneโsโon me. โMy son knows nothing that could be of use. The FBI is wasting their time with him as much as theyโre wasting their time on this ridiculous idea that a killer whoโs managed to evade arrest thus far would hog-tie himself to committing his next murder in the Majestyโs Grand Ballroom, come hell or high water.โ
โItโs not a ridiculous idea.โ Sloane stood up. Her voice trembled. โYou just canโt see it. You donโt understand it. But just because you donโt understand something doesnโt mean you get to ignore it. You canโt just pretend the pattern doesnโt exist and hope it goes away.โ
The way he pretends you donโt exist,ย my brain translated.ย The way he ignores you.
โThatโs enough, Sloane.โ
โItโs not ridiculous.โ Sloane swallowed and turned toward the door. โYouโll see.โ
YOU
Waiting is harder than youโd anticipated.
Every night, you sit with the knife balanced on one knee. Every night, you run through each iteration, each possibility, each second leading up to the moment when you will step up behind your target and use the knife to slit their throat.
Just another calculation. Another number. Another step closer to what you will become.
You want it. So badly you can taste it. You want it now.
But you are at the mercy of the numbers, and the numbers say to wait.
So you wait, and you watch, and you listen.
Youโre told the FBI suspects that the next murder will take place in the Grand Ballroom. Youโre told theyโre watching it. Waiting, just like you. You take that to mean that someone has seen the patternโjust a fraction of it, just a piece. In your quietest moments, when youโre staring at the blade, you wonder who at the FBI figured it out.
You wonder if that person truly appreciates what you have done, what you are doing, what you will become. But how could they? Whoever they are, whatever they think they know, itโs only a fraction of the truth.
They know only what youโve allowed them to know. You set them on the path to discovery.
Itโs not their attention you want.
Slowly, contemplatively, you take off your shirt. You pick up the knife. You turn to face the mirror, and you press the tip of the blade to your skin and begin to draw. Blood beads up. You welcome the pain. Soon, you wonโt even feel it.
Let the FBI come at you. Let them do their worst. And as for the rest of it, perhaps itโs time to send a message. You are at the mercy of the numbers.
Let the world be at their mercy, too.