I crept to their doors and listened; they was snoring. So I tiptoed along, and got down stairs all right. There warnโt a sound anywheres. I peeped through a crack of the dining-room door, and see the men that was watching the corpse all sound asleep on their chairs. The door was open into the parlor, where the corpse was laying, and there was a candle in both rooms. I passed along, and the parlor door was open; but I see there warnโt nobody in there but the remainders of Peter; so I shoved on by; but the front door was locked, and the key wasnโt there. Just then I heard somebody coming down the stairs, back behind me. I run in the parlor and took a swift look around, and the only place I see to hide the bag was in the coffin. The lid was shoved along about a foot, showing the dead manโs face down in there, with a wet cloth over it, and his shroud on. I tucked the money-bag in under the lid, just down beyond where his hands was crossed, which made me creep, they was so cold, and then I run back across the room and in behind the door.
The person coming was Mary Jane. She went to the coffin, very soft, and kneeled down and looked in; then she put up her handkerchief, and I see she begun to cry, though I couldnโt hear her, and her back was to me. I slid out, and as I passed the dining-room I thought Iโd make sure them watchers hadnโt seen me; so I looked through the crack, and everything was all right. They hadnโt stirred.
I slipped up to bed, feeling ruther blue, on accounts of the thing playing out that way after I had took so much trouble and run so much resk about it. Says I, if it could stay where it is, all right; because when we get down the river a hundred mile or two I could write back to Mary Jane, and she could dig him up again and get it; but that ainโt the thing thatโs going to happen; the thing thatโs going to happen is, the money โll be found when they come to screw on the lid. Then the king โll get it again, and it โll be a long day before he gives anybody another chance to smouch it from him. Of course Iย wantedย to slide down and get it out of there, but I dasnโt try it. Every minute it was getting earlier now, and pretty soon some of them watchers would begin to stir, and I might get catchedโcatched with six thousand dollars in my hands that nobody hadnโt hired me to take care of. I donโt wish to be mixed up in no such business as that, I says to myself.
When I got down stairs in the morning the parlor was shut up, and the watchers was gone. There warnโt nobody around but the family and the widow Bartley and our tribe. I watched their faces to see if anything had been happening, but I couldnโt tell.
Towards the middle of the day the undertaker come with his man, and they set the coffin in the middle of the room on a couple of chairs, and then set all our chairs in rows, and borrowed more from the neighbors till the hall and the parlor and the dining-room was full. I see the coffin lid was the way it was before, but I dasnโt go to look in under it, with folks around.
Then the people begun to flock in, and the beats and the girls took seats in the front row at the head of the coffin, and for a half an hour the people filed around slow, in single rank, and looked down at the dead manโs face a minute, and some dropped in a tear, and it was all very still and solemn, only the girls and the beats holding handkerchiefs to their eyes and keeping their heads bent, and sobbing a little. There warnโt no other sound but the scraping of the feet on the floor and blowing nosesโbecause people always blows them more at a funeral than they do at other places except church.
When the place was packed full the undertaker he slid around in his black gloves with his softy soothering ways, putting on the last touches, and getting people and things all ship-shape and comfortable, and making no more sound than a cat. He never spoke; he moved people around, he squeezed in late ones, he opened up passageways, and done it with nods, and signs with his hands. Then he took his place over against the wall. He was the softest, glidingest, stealthiest man I ever see; and there warnโt no more smile to him than there is to a ham.
They had borrowed a melodeumโa sick one; and when everything was ready a young woman set down and worked it, and it was pretty skreeky and colicky, and everybody joined in and sung, and Peter was the only one that had a good thing, according to my notion. Then the Reverend Hobson opened up, slow and solemn, and begun to talk; and straight off the most outrageous row busted out in the cellar a body ever heard; it was only one dog, but he made a most powerful racket, and he kept it up right along; the parson he had to stand there, over the coffin, and waitโyou couldnโt hear yourself think. It was right down awkward, and nobody didnโt seem to know what to do. But pretty soon they see that long-legged undertaker make a sign to the preacher as much as to say, โDonโt you worryโjust depend on me.โ Then he stooped down and begun to glide along the wall, just his shoulders showing over the peopleโs heads. So he glided along, and the powwow and racket getting more and more outrageous all the time; and at last, when he had gone around two sides of the room, he disappears down cellar. Then in about two seconds we heard a whack, and the dog he finished up with a most amazing howl or two, and then everything was dead still, and the parson begun his solemn talk where he left off. In a minute or two here comes this undertakerโs back and shoulders gliding along the wall again; and so he glided and glided around three sides of the room, and then rose up, and shaded his mouth with his hands, and stretched his neck out towards the preacher, over the peopleโs heads, and says, in a kind of a coarse whisper, โHe had a rat!โ Then he drooped down and glided along the wall again to his place. You could see it was a great satisfaction to the people, because naturally they wanted to know. A little thing like that donโt cost nothing, and itโs just the little things that makes a man to be looked up to and liked. There warnโt no more popular man in town than what that undertaker was.
Well, the funeral sermon was very good, but pison long and tiresome; and then the king he shoved in and got off some of his usual rubbage, and at last the job was through, and the undertaker begun to sneak up on the coffin with his screw-driver. I was in a sweat then, and watched him pretty keen. But he never meddled at all; just slid the lid along as soft as mush, and screwed it down tight and fast. So there I was! I didnโt know whether the money was in there or not. So, says I, sโpose somebody has hogged that bag on the sly?โnow how doย Iย know whether to write to Mary Jane or not? Sโpose she dug him up and didnโt find nothing, what would she think of me? Blame it, I says, I might get hunted up and jailed; Iโd better lay low and keep dark, and not write at all; the thingโs awful mixed now; trying to better it, Iโve worsened it a hundred times, and I wish to goodness Iโd just let it alone, dad fetch the whole business!
They buried him, and we come back home, and I went to watching faces againโI couldnโt help it, and I couldnโt rest easy. But nothing come of it; the faces didnโt tell me nothing.
The king he visited around in the evening, and sweetened everybody up, and made himself ever so friendly; and he give out the idea that his congregation over in England would be in a sweat about him, so he must hurry and settle up the estate right away and leave for home. He was very sorry he was so pushed, and so was everybody; they wished he could stay longer, but they said they could see it couldnโt be done. And he said of course him and William would take the girls home with them; and that pleased everybody too, because then the girls would be well fixed and amongst their own relations; and it pleased the girls, tooโtickled them so they clean forgot they ever had a trouble in the world; and told him to sell out as quick as he wanted to, they would be ready. Them poor things was that glad and happy it made my heart ache to see them getting fooled and lied to so, but I didnโt see no safe way for me to chip in and change the general tune.
Well, blamed if the king didnโt bill the house and the niggers and all the property for auction straight offโsale two days after the funeral; but anybody could buy private beforehand if they wanted to.
So the next day after the funeral, along about noon-time, the girlsโ joy got the first jolt. A couple of nigger traders come along, and the king sold them the niggers reasonable, for three-day drafts as they called it, and away they went, the two sons up the river to Memphis, and their mother down the river to Orleans. I thought them poor girls and them niggers would break their hearts for grief; they cried around each other, and took on so it most made me down sick to see it. The girls said they hadnโt ever dreamed of seeing the family separated or sold away from the town. I canโt ever get it out of my memory, the sight of them poor miserable girls and niggers hanging around each otherโs necks and crying; and I reckon I couldnโt a stood it all, but would a had to bust out and tell on our gang if I hadnโt knowed the sale warnโt no account and the niggers would be back home in a week or two.
The thing made a big stir in the town, too, and a good many come out flatfooted and said it was scandalous to separate the mother and the children that way. It injured the frauds some; but the old fool he bulled right along, spite of all the duke could say or do, and I tell you the duke was powerful uneasy.
Next day was auction day. About broad day in the morning the king and the duke come up in the garret and woke me up, and I see by their look that there was trouble. The king says:
โWas you in my room night before last?โ
โNo, your majestyโโwhich was the way I always called him when nobody but our gang warnโt around.
โWas you in there yisterday er last night?โ
โNo, your majesty.โ
โHonor bright, nowโno lies.โ
โHonor bright, your majesty, Iโm telling you the truth. I hainโt been a-near your room since Miss Mary Jane took you and the duke and showed it to you.โ
The duke says:
โHave you seen anybody else go in there?โ
โNo, your grace, not as I remember, I believe.โ
โStop and think.โ
I studied awhile and see my chance; then I says:
โWell, I see the niggers go in there several times.โ
Both of them gave a little jump, and looked like they hadnโt ever expected it, and then like theyย had. Then the duke says:
โWhat,ย allย of them?โ
โNoโleastways, not all at onceโthat is, I donโt think I ever see them all comeย outย at once but just one time.โ
โHello! When was that?โ
โIt was the day we had the funeral. In the morning. It warnโt early, because I overslept. I was just starting down the ladder, and I see them.โ
โWell, go on,ย goย on! What did they do? Howโd they act?โ
โThey didnโt do nothing. And they didnโt act anyway much, as fur as I see. They tiptoed away; so I seen, easy enough, that theyโd shoved in there to do up your majestyโs room, or something, sโposing you was up; and found youย warnโtย up, and so they was hoping to slide out of the way of trouble without waking you up, if they hadnโt already waked you up.โ
โGreat guns,ย thisย is a go!โ says the king; and both of them looked pretty sick and tolerable silly. They stood there a-thinking and scratching their heads a minute, and the duke he bust into a kind of a little raspy chuckle, and says:
โIt does beat all how neat the niggers played their hand. They let on to beย sorryย they was going out of this region! And I believed theyย wasย sorry, and so did you, and so did everybody. Donโt ever tellย meย any more that a nigger ainโt got any histrionic talent. Why, the way they played that thing it would foolย anybody. In my opinion, thereโs a fortune in โem. If I had capital and a theater, I wouldnโt want a better lay-out than thatโand here weโve gone and sold โem for a song. Yes, and ainโt privileged to sing the song yet. Say, whereย isย that songโthat draft?โ
โIn the bank for to be collected. Whereย wouldย it be?โ
โWell,ย thatโsย all right then, thank goodness.โ
Says I, kind of timid-like:
โIs something gone wrong?โ
The king whirls on me and rips out:
โNone oโ your business! You keep your head shet, and mind yโr own affairsโif you got any. Long as youโre in this town donโt you forgitย thatโyou hear?โ Then he says to the duke, โWe got to jest swaller it and say nothโnโ: mumโs the word forย us.โ
As they was starting down the ladder the duke he chuckles again, and says:
โQuick salesย andย small profits! Itโs a good businessโyes.โ
The king snarls around on him and says:
โI was trying to do for the best in sellinโ โem out so quick. If the profits has turned out to be none, lackinโ considable, and none to carry, is it my fault any moreโn itโs yourn?โ
โWell,ย theyโdย be in this house yet and weย wouldnโtย if I could a got my advice listened to.โ
The king sassed back as much as was safe for him, and then swapped around and lit intoย meย again. He give me down the banks for not coming andย tellingย him I see the niggers come out of his room acting that wayโsaid any fool would aย knowedย something was up. And then waltzed in and cussedย himselfย awhile, and said it all come of him not laying late and taking his natural rest that morning, and heโd be blamed if heโd ever do it again. So they went off a-jawing; and I felt dreadful glad Iโd worked it all off on to the niggers, and yet hadnโt done the niggers no harm by it.










