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Chapter no 13

A Shadow in the Ember

The smile that spread across Ashโ€™s face wasnโ€™t slight or faint. It was wide and full of heated sensuality. I caught a brief glimpse of his teeth, two slightly elongated, sharpโ€ฆfangs.

Now that I could really see them, I knew they werenโ€™t the size of a finger like Tavius had once claimed, but I knew they could tear into my skin with shocking ease, nonetheless. The sight of them was yet another reminder of what Ash was. They brought forth a shivery mixture of fear and shameful excitement.

He moved then, erasing the distance between us. Every cell of my body tensed in a breathless sort of anticipation as that woodsy, citrus scent surrounded me.

โ€œI donโ€™t think I ever wanted to hear the wordย yesย more than I do now,โ€ he said, the bridge of his nose brushing mine. The shiver coursing through me had nothing to do with the cool touch of his skin. โ€œEver.โ€

Then his lips met mine, and the first touch was just that. Aย touch. But it was still a shock to my entire system, just like the moment I first entered the water. His lips were cool against mine, and the press of them was soft like satin over steel. He tilted his head slightly, and then I wasnโ€™t thinking about his lips.

I wasnโ€™t thinking at all.

The pressure of the kiss increased, and he tugged at my bottom lip with those sharp fangs. I gasped, my entire body shuddering.

His breathy laugh touched my lips. โ€œI like that sound. A lot.โ€ โ€œI liked that,โ€ I whispered. โ€œA lot.โ€

โ€œBut that,ย liessa, was barely a kiss.โ€

My blood thrummed as his hand settled around the nape of my neck.

Liessa.ย Something beautiful and powerfulโ€ฆย I felt like that now.

His mouth touched mine once more, and this kissโ€ฆit was nothing like the gentle touch of before. It was harder, and the feel of the tip of his tongue against the seam of my lips sent my heart racing. I opened for him, and the

kiss wasnโ€™t only deep. The flick of his tongue against mine was an exploration that tasted of honey and ice, and he kissed as if the same, almost frenzied curiosity that drove me also rode him. To know what it was like to feel wanted, desired, cherished. To justย feel. I knew that was ridiculous. I didnโ€™t think gods had that same curiosity, but the rawness of his kiss went beyond that need to know, as his hand threaded through my hair and his other flattened against my cheek. The kissย becameย all those things. Iโ€™d had no idea that a kiss could be like this.

Needing to feel more, I moved my hands to his shoulders. He shuddered at my touch. His skin was cool, and I didnโ€™t know how he could feel that way when I was a sparking fire. I tugged on him, wanting him closer, only slightly concerned that I wasnโ€™t apprehensive about that desire. A distant, still-operating part of my mind knew I should be more worried because I was feeling wonderfully impulsive and gloriously reckless.

But he was closer, and that was all I wanted to be concerned with. His large body urged mine down, and there wasnโ€™t even a flicker of hesitation before my back met the grass. The weight of his upper body and the coolness of his bare skin bleeding through the thin slip as his chest pressed against mine was a heady, decadent shock to my senses.

The rumbling sound that came from him danced over my skin, my breasts, and then lower still. He seemed to be as affected, and that left me reeling in a dizzying way, knowing that heโ€”a godโ€”could react so strongly.

Hands trembling slightly, I ran my fingers through his hair and then across his skin where the tattoo stretched to the nape of his neck. He slid his hand out from my hair as mine traveled over the corded muscles lining his spine. His fingers grazed the length of my arm, from the top of my hand all the way to my shoulder and then down again. His palm glided against the side of my breast and then to my waist. A soft sound left me as my back arched, one Iโ€™d only ever heard in the shadowy areas of the garden or in the heavily curtained rooms of The Jade.

His hand stilled on my hip, his touch becoming heavier there as his mouth left mine. โ€œWas that kiss satisfactory?โ€

My eyes fluttered open, colliding with his. โ€œIt will do.โ€

He laughed, low and throaty. โ€œYouโ€™re hard to impress, arenโ€™t you?โ€ โ€œNot really,โ€ I said, even though I was thoroughly impressed.

โ€œOuch.โ€ His hand tightened on my hip. โ€œThen I suppose Iโ€™ll have to change that.โ€

Thisโ€ฆthe teasing was unfamiliar and exciting. Like when I discovered a new passageway in the Garden District, but way, way better. I liked it. A lot. It called to something inside me, something easy and free. โ€œI suppose you do.โ€

But it was me who did.

My mouth reclaimed his, and the way our lips met was fierce and demanding, igniting a riot of wild, breathless sensations inside me that I eagerly fell and spiraled into. I was wonderfully lost in themโ€”in him. The feel of his cool lips. The touch of his tongue against mine, and that unexpected nip of his fangs. His honey taste, and his lush scent. And I knew these were the kinds of kisses Iโ€™d read about in those books. The ones Iโ€™d never experienced at The Jade when I sought to ease the restless energy in me. Because I could do this for hours and never grow tired. I knew this because I wantedย more. His hand on my hip squeezed and then skidded lower. A wicked twist of anticipation curled low and deep inside me.

Ashโ€™s hand drifted to the edge of the slip, and then the rough skin of his palm skimmed my bare leg. In that moment, I didnโ€™t think Iโ€™d ever been gladder that I wasnโ€™t wearing pants.

His lips moved against mine as he drew his hand up the length of my leg, under the slip. I reacted without much thought, curling my leg in a silent request for him to keep exploring. Every part of my body went taut as his palm skimmed my bare upper thigh. An ache settled in a veryย unmentionableย place, the one his hand was only inches from.

But he stilled.

Ash ended the kiss, breathing unevenly like me, and that shook me. A god was just as affected as I was. โ€œThis willโ€ฆโ€ He swallowed, looking down between us. โ€œGodsโ€ฆโ€

Every part of me focused on where the tips of his fingers brushed the lower curve of my rear. I looked down, following his gaze. The loose bodice of my slip had inched down, exposing just the hardened tips of my breasts. His gaze fell to where the hem of my slip had bunched around his forearm, dragged above my hips. The contrast of our skin, even in the moonlight, was a surprisingly intimate sight. As were the shadowy areas now exposed to the balmy night airโ€”and to him.

Trembling, I glanced up at him. His features had sharpened, becoming stark. And there was this need andย hungerย to his parted lips. I could see a hint of those fangs, and another shudder ran through me. I wondered if I

should attempt to shield myself from his gazeโ€”if he expected that from me. But if he did, he would be disappointed. I wanted him to look upon me like he wanted to devour me.

And I thought I might actually want to be devoured.

I could feel the heated intensity of his stare as he lifted his gaze. He lowered his head, his mouth claiming mine. His kiss was demanding, tugging on my lower lip with his sharp fangs. I yielded to him, opening. The kiss deepened, and his tongue slid over mine, his mouth capturing my breathless moan. The taste of him, his smellโ€ฆall of him invaded me, my senses, burning me. An aching, pulsing need centered in my core, so close to where his hand remained on my leg. His thumb moved along the crease of my thigh, sending a throbbing pulse through me as his mouth left mine, trailing down the side of my neck. He lingered over my pulse, his tongue a hot, wet slide against the flesh. His head tilted, and I felt the sharp, unexpected drag of his fangs.

My entire body arched as his name escaped on a soft exhale, โ€œAsh.โ€

Mind thick with desire, it took a moment for me to register that heโ€™d stilled. My eyes opened. โ€œIsโ€ฆis something wrong?โ€

He gave a small shake of his head. โ€œNo. Itโ€™s just that Iโ€ฆโ€ He kissed the spot heโ€™d nipped at. โ€œI have never heard my name spoken like that. Itโ€™s a strange feeling.โ€

I skimmed my fingers down his arms, wondering how that could even be possible. โ€œIs it a bad feeling?โ€

โ€œNo. Itโ€™s not,โ€ he said, sounding surprised by his admission. I wasnโ€™t sure what to think of that.

But then I was completely lost again as his lips began to move once more, trailing tiny, hot kisses down the line of my throat and over my collarbone. He moved lower and lower until his chin grazed the swell of my breast. My fingers dug into the taut skin of his arms as his cool breath danced over the turgid nub of flesh.

โ€œYou know what?โ€ he asked.

โ€œWhat?โ€ I stared at the top of his dark head, my heart pounding. โ€œYou can call me whatever you like.โ€

A light laugh spilled out of me. โ€œIโ€™m not sure you really mean that.โ€

โ€œI do.โ€ His head shifted, and his lashes swept up. Swirling silver eyes locked onto mine. โ€œAnything.โ€

I couldnโ€™t look away. His gaze held mine as his mouth closed over my breast, drawing the sensitive skin into the recesses of his mouth. I gasped at the shock of the coldness against the heat of my flesh. Another throbbing pulse darted through me as his hair fell forward, sliding over my skin.

He eased off, leaving me breathless. He kissed the space between my breasts. โ€œWouldnโ€™t want this other one to get lonely.โ€

I grinned as my head fell back against the damp grass. โ€œIs that the one kind, decent bone in your body rearing its head?โ€

โ€œPerhaps.โ€ His tongue swirled on the nipple of my other breast. He drew the tingling peak into his mouth, dragging the edge of a fang across it. Another sharp cry left me. โ€œBut,โ€ he said, sliding his tongue over the stinging flesh, โ€œI think itโ€™s all the wicked, indecent bones in my body guiding my thoughtfulness.โ€

I bit my lip as his mouth closed over the skin there once more. The feel of himโ€ฆit was quite wicked, and then his thumb moved along my inner thigh in slow, maddening circles again, coming so, so close to where a steady ache of need thrummed. I waited and waited, wondering if he wouldย touchย me. Hoping that he would. I needed him to, but that thumb, those fingers of his, drifted closer and then away, closer and then away, all while his mouth, lips, and teeth teased my breasts.

Need, wonder, and the intense fire he lit within me flooded every part of me with liquid heat. My patience, never my strong suit, failed.

I slid my hand down the corded muscles of his arm to where his hand remained on my thigh. His wandering thumb stilled, and his fingers splayed wide, grazing the dampness gathering between my thighs. My fingers ran over his.

His head lifted, and my eyes opened to find him staring down at me in a stark, hungry way that sent another wave of shivers through me. โ€œWhat do you want from me,ย liessa?โ€

Something beautiful and powerfulโ€ฆ Thatโ€™s what I wanted.

His lips parted, revealing the tips of his fangs. โ€œShow me.โ€

Eyes locked with his and heart thumping, I slid his hand from my thigh to where I throbbed. My hips jerked at the cool touch against my hot, damp skin.

Radiant wisps of eather lashed through the silver of his eyes. โ€œShow me,โ€ he repeated, voice rough as he skimmed one finger along my center.

โ€œShow me what you like, and I will give it to you.โ€

I could barely breathe as I molded my hand to his. Never in my life had I done something like this. But it feltโ€ฆso natural. So right. And yet so enticingly scandalous. I moved his thumb with mine, drawing those circles around the bundle of nerves. What air I managed to breathe snagged.

โ€œIs that all?โ€ he asked, his voice a dark, sinful drawl. He moved his thumb under mine. โ€œOr is there more you need,ย liessa? More you like. Show me.โ€

It was as if his voice carried a compulsion, one I had to obey. But I was in complete control as I pressed one of his long fingers against my softness, into the heat and wetness. I gasped at the feel of his cool finger parting my flesh before sinking slowly into me.

Ashโ€™s gaze left mine then, falling to where our hands were joined. His chest rose sharply as he watched meโ€”as he watchedย usย as we moved his finger, working it deeper and deeper. And still he watched as I lifted my hips, moving against his fingers and his hand. He didnโ€™t look away. He didnโ€™t even blink when I pressed in another of his fingers, piercing my flesh with it. I didnโ€™t think he breathed. I thought maybe we both stopped as his fingers filled me, stretching my flesh until I felt a bite of discomfort followed by a ripple of acute pleasure.

โ€œYou feelโ€ฆโ€ He inhaled sharply, drawing those fingers out before tracking the rise of my hips with those churning eyes. โ€œSo warm. So soft and hot. Wet.โ€ He shuddered, his voice thickening as he thrust his fingers while mine simply clung to his wrist. โ€œYou feel like silk and sunshine. Beautiful.โ€ He dragged his teeth over his lower lip, and I thoughtโ€ฆ I thought his fangs seemed longer, sharper as my back arched over the grass, and I ground against his hand. Something about watching him, watching us, was shocking. It sent my stomach dipping and tumbling. Stretched my nerves until they felt as if theyโ€™d snap. โ€œThatโ€™s it,ย liessa, fuck my hand.โ€

His words scorched my skin, burning through every part of me. My head kicked back, and my eyes fell closed. Blood pounded as my hips rocked and twisted against him. Tension built and coiled tighter and tighter.

He moved over me, chest to chest as his mouth closed over mine once more. The way he kissed was just as wild as the sensations building inside me. My other hand sank into his hair as I did just as heโ€™d demanded with wild abandon. All I could hear was the sound of our kisses and the wet thrust of his fingers. All I could feel was him and the tight tension settling

deep in my core, curling and curling. My body went as taut as a bowstring, and then everything unraveled.

His mouth caught the cry of release as pleasure unfurled in wracking spasms, lashing out and flooding pleasure into every nerve, vein, and limb. It was shocking, the waves and waves of pure feeling.

Only when my hand fell away from his wrist did he slowly ease his fingers from me, his mouth from mine. โ€œBeautiful,โ€ he whispered against my swollen lips, and my eyes fluttered open.

โ€œIโ€ฆโ€ Words failed me when he lifted those two very wicked, glistening fingers. His luminous eyes held mine as he drew them into his mouth. My body arched as if his mouth sucked on my flesh, not his.

I had never seen anything so shameless in my life.

He grinned around his fingers, slowly drawing them from his mouth. โ€œYou taste like the sun.โ€

My heart skipped. โ€œWhatโ€ฆwhat does the sun taste like?โ€ That curve of his lips was wicked. โ€œLike you.โ€

His mouth returned to mine. It couldโ€™ve been his words, the taste of myself on his lips, or how I could still feel his fingers inside me. It couldโ€™ve been all of those things. Whatever it was, it fueled the need to give him what heโ€™d given me. To share that pleasure. I slipped my hand between us, finding his thick, hard length straining against the soft cloth of his breeches. Another ripple of tight pleasure radiated out through me at the feel of him. His entire body jerked, much like mine upon his first touch.

Ash made that dark, luscious sound again as he reached between us, folding his hand over mine. He pressed against my palm, shuddering. โ€œThisโ€ฆthis will become more than kissing and touching.โ€

โ€œWill it?โ€ Iโ€™d never heard my voice sound so velvety before. Iโ€™d never quite felt my heart beat throughout my body like it did now, as another whirl of anticipation swirled. โ€œI want to do what youโ€™ve done for me.โ€

His jaw flexed as I cupped him through his breeches. โ€œYou have no idea how badly I want that.โ€

โ€œI want that, too,โ€ I whispered in the space between our mouths.

โ€œItโ€™s not your palm I want wrapped around my cock right now. Itโ€™sย youย I want. Tight and wet and warm,โ€ he breathed, and a deep shiver rolled through me as my grip on him firmed. He groaned. โ€œAnd if you keep touching me like that, thatโ€™s whatโ€™s going to happen. Iโ€™m going to get inside

you, and it wonโ€™t be my fingers youโ€™ll be fucking.โ€ He lowered his head again, brushing his lips over mine. โ€œI think you know that.โ€

I did.

Oh, gods, I totally did.

I swallowed, my hand unsteady as I slid it down over the hard plane of his chest. A hundred thoughts swirled, a battle between impulsivity and caution, recklessness, and wisdom. Weโ€™d already gone too far. A part of him had beenย insideย me. He knew what I tasted like. There were countless reasons for why I should heed the latter, and only a few for the former. But those were louder, more incessant.

I didnโ€™t want this, whatever it was, to end quite yet. I didnโ€™t want to return to reality, where I knew I would never feelย thisย again. This abundant wildness. This connection to my body. To his. The realness. No dying hope of fulfilling my duty; of taking something like thisโ€”something beautiful and powerfulโ€”and using it to kill. No need to be anyone but myself.

So, I shut down the caution and wisdom. โ€œI know what will happen.โ€ His lips curled into a smile against mine. โ€œYouโ€™re a Princess.โ€

โ€œSo? Youโ€™re a god.โ€

Ash laughed then, the sound a thick and heavy smoke in my veins. โ€œAnd you shouldnโ€™t be debauched on the floor of a forest.โ€

โ€œAnd what if I wasnโ€™t a Princess?โ€ I countered, sliding my hand away from him. โ€œWould it be acceptable to commence with said debauching then?โ€

Another low laugh teased my lips as his hand grazed the curve of my thigh. โ€œNo one should be debauched on the floor of a forest. Especially when they will surely feel the hot bite of regret later.โ€

โ€œHow do you know I would feel regret?โ€

โ€œYou will.โ€ His lips touched the corner of mine.

It occurred to me then that he had to be referring to the consequence that often occurred from a good debauching. A child. I relaxed, relieved that he had the foresight to even think of such things when the thought truly hadnโ€™t even entered my mind. A child born of a mortal and god was extremely rare, so much so that Iโ€™d never met one. โ€œThat can be prevented,โ€ I whispered, referencing an herb I knew women could take, either before or after, that inhibited such things. โ€œItโ€™s aโ€”โ€

โ€œI know what it is,โ€ he interrupted. โ€œSurprisingly, that is not what I was talking about.โ€

I frowned. โ€œThen what exactlyย doย you think I would regret? Or do you think that I donโ€™t know my own wants and needs?โ€

โ€œYou strike me as a person who knowsย exactlyย what they want and need,โ€ he returned. โ€œBut this is not wise.โ€

โ€œThen what are you doing?โ€ I demanded, pushing lightly on his chest. โ€œAttempting to not commence with said debauching.โ€ His hand slid

around to my rear, where his fingers pressed into my flesh.

A throbbing pulse of awareness shuttled through me. โ€œInโ€ฆin case youโ€™re not aware, you have an odd way of not engaging in debauchery.โ€

โ€œI know,โ€ he replied. โ€œProbably because I donโ€™t have much experience with everything debauching entails.โ€

Surprise flickered through me. I opened my mouth to ask if he meant what I thought he didโ€”because surely, as a god, he couldnโ€™tโ€”but his lips found mine once more. And kissesโ€ฆhisย kisses were very distracting. His lips moved against mine in a slow, drugging way as if he were sipping from my lips. It felt like hours, even though I knew it was only minutes. Not nearly long enough, and then those kisses slowed even more, gentling. There were no more unexpected pricks of his fangs, and with each sweep of his lips and flick of his tongue, I knew we would go no further than this.

And despite how Iโ€™d challenged him and his somewhat annoying and surprising restraint, thisโ€ฆthis coming to an endย wasย okay. It was the wise thing because forgetting the way he kissed, the pleasure heโ€™d given me, and how I felt now would be hard enough. Anything more would be impossible.

His lips tugged slowly on mine, leaving me in a pleasant haze as his head lifted. I opened my eyes, finding him scanning the elms.

It took a moment for concern to reach me. โ€œDo you hear something?โ€ โ€œNothing like before.โ€ He looked at me as he slid his hand down my leg

and then away. โ€œIf I stayed, I think Iโ€™d find myself obsessed with trying to count just how many freckles you have.โ€

What he saidโ€ฆit tugged at my heart, and I inhaled sharply. I didย not

need to feel that.

โ€œBut I need to go.โ€

Forcing my grip on his shoulders to loosen and unsure of how my hands had even gotten there, I nodded.

โ€œI shouldโ€™ve left already,โ€ he added. โ€œI didnโ€™t expect to linger tonight.โ€

I ignored the burn of disappointment I felt in the pit of my stomach. โ€œI think tonight wasโ€ฆentirely unexpected.โ€

โ€œI can agree with that,โ€ he replied and touched my cheek. The act surprised me. Catching a curl, he tugged it straight and then slowly wrapped it around his finger. He stared at the strand of hair, smoothing his thumb over it. โ€œWill you be heading home now to a bed far more comfortable than a forest floor?โ€

I nodded.

But he didnโ€™t move from atop me, his weight still pleasant in an intoxicating sort of way. While he appeared momentarily engrossed in my hair, I took the opportunity. Seized it, actually. I swept my gaze over his brow and the proud line of his nose, the angular height of his cheekbones, and those shockingly soft lips. I took in the cut of his jaw and the faint scar in his chin. I committed those details to memory as I had the feel of his flesh against mine and how my lips still tingled from the touch of his.

I blew out a soft breath. โ€œIf youโ€™re to leave, you will need to let go of my hair.โ€

โ€œTrue,โ€ he murmured, easing his finger from the twist. He didnโ€™t let the hair fall. Instead, he swept it back behind my ear with a gentleness I decided I also couldย notย remember.

He dipped his head then, kissing the center of my forehead, andย thatย was another thing I would make sure to forget. Then, Ash rose with the same grace he had when heโ€™d faced those creatures.

I sat up quickly, making sure the slip covered all the unmentionables as best as it could. I kept stealing glances, my gaze wandering low to where I swore I could still see the hard ridge of his arousal. He was silent, then donned his shirt. Moonlight glinted off the silver band around his biceps as he set about pulling on his boots. The last thing he picked up was the scabbard and sword.

Ash faced me then, and his stareโ€ฆ I could feel it as if it were a physical touch along my cheek, on my breasts, and then down the length of a bare leg. A heat followed that stare, one I had a sinking suspicion would taunt me during sleepless nights.

He looked out into the woods again. โ€œDonโ€™t wait too long to return,โ€ he advised.

My brows rose as I tamped down whatever antagonistic thing surely sharpened my tongue. I didnโ€™t know if his order came from a place of assumed authority or one of concern, and neither was something I was

accustomed to. It wasnโ€™t often that anyone told me what to do outside of being shooed away, especially these last three years.

He stepped toward me and then stopped, his hair falling to rest against his cheek and his jaw, brushing his shoulder. โ€œIโ€ฆโ€ He seemed to struggle with how to continue.

โ€œIt was nice talking with you,โ€ I said, and I meant it, truly. Ash went completely silent, his stillness making my cheeks flush. โ€œEven though you did spy on me,โ€ I quickly added, โ€œwhich was very inappropriate.โ€

A faint smile appeared on his face, not showing his teeth, but softening his features. โ€œIt was nice talking to you, too. Truly,โ€ he replied, and my heart fluttered in my chest. โ€œBe careful.โ€

โ€œYou too,โ€ I managed to say.

Ash lingered for a moment before turning, his steps barely making a sound as he walked away. My smile faded slightly as I watched him disappear into the dense shadows, a strange ache forming in my chest. It wasnโ€™t about where our conversation or the kisses hadโ€”or hadnโ€™tโ€”led. Nor was it about the lack of contact. It felt like meeting a friend and then losing them just as quickly. Thatโ€™s what it really felt like. Our conversation had the kind of intimacy youโ€™d only share with a friend. As for the other stuffโ€ฆwell, friends usually didnโ€™t share that.

But there was a sense of loss because I didnโ€™t think I would see him again. If he kept watching, Iโ€™d be as unaware as I was before. Maybe he realized this had already gone too far. I thought that because he never asked for my name.

I was still a stranger to him.

I shook my head and rose to my feet, finding my gown in the moonlight.

Pulling it on, I heard a sound that had been strangely absent.

Theย birds.

They called out to one another, singing their songs as life stirred once more in the woods.

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