I PRESS my cheek against the cool leather seat, blatantly staring at Crew Lancaster, not caring one bit that I might look foolish. He doesnโt seem to mind.
Drinking in all the male beauty sitting in front of me is almost overwhelming, heโs so attractive. I love how his cheeks turned slightly pink thanks to the cold air, making him look younger. Softer.
Though thereโs not much about Crewโs face that anyone could consider soft. Heโs all hard angles and sharp lines. High cheekbones, firm jaw and square chin. Dark brows that are currently lowered as he watches me, those cool blue eyes growing warmer the longer he stares, as if he likes what he sees.
I like what I see too.
The only thing I can consider soft on Crewโs handsome face is his mouth. His lips are pink, the lower lip much fuller than the top, and theyโre currently parted, his gaze lingering on my mouth until it lifts to meet mine.
My body grows warm, and not just because of the thick coat Iโm wearing. Heโs thinking about kissing me. I know he is. And itโs all I want. I want to know what he tastes like. What kind of kisses will he deliver? Soft and sweet? Fierce and rough?
Maybe a combination of both.
โYou keep staring at me like that andโฆโ His voice drifts.
โAnd what?โ
His broad chest rises and falls, as if he just took a deep, maybe even nervous, breath. โI canโt be held responsible for what I might do.โ
โTell me what you want to do to me.โ Even though it scares me a little, I want to hear every single dirty word he can come up with.
All of them.
He glances over at the driver. โI donโt want to say it out loud. You might get embarrassed, Birdy.โ
โI wonโt. I promise.โ I press my thighs together, trying to ease the sudden throbbing, but it only makes things worse. โWhisper it in my ear.โ
Crew reaches out, his hand going to the seatbelt buckle and undoing it. I shrug the strap away from my body, letting him take my hand and pull me closer. Until Iโm sitting in the center of the back seat, and heโs strapping me back in, his hand brushing against my chest as he pulls the belt across me, then pushes the buckle into the slot.
Weโre sitting so close I can see the stubble lining his cheeks. Feel his body heat seeping into my side, making me even hotter. We stare at each other, the tension growing between us, and I swallow hard, ready to say something, when he leans in, his mouth at my ear, his soft exhale making me shiver.
โI want to kiss you. Taste you. Kiss your neck. Nibble it. Run my hands under your sweater, slip them under your bra, until Iโm squeezing your tits. Pinching your nipples.โ
I avert my gaze, my breaths coming faster.
โIโd take off your sweater. Your skirt. Kiss you all over your body. Tell you how fucking beautiful you are, because you are so damn beautiful, Wren. The prettiest little birdy Iโve ever seen.โ
I close my eyes, savoring his compliment.
โIโd slip my hand beneath your panties and find you soaking wet. All for me. Iโd finger you until youโre begging me to make you come, and when
you eventually explode all over my hand, Iโd make you lick my fingers clean.โ
My eyes fly open to find him watching me, his gaze dark. Intense. I glance down at his lap to see he has an erection.
Oh God. What would he do if I reached over and touched it?
He moves even closer, his mouth brushing against my earlobe and I bite back the moan that wants to escape. โAfter I fucked you with my fingers, Iโd fuck you with my tongue. Iโd lick you from front to back, until youโre screaming and coming so hard you almost blackout.โ
My heart races, my chest rising and falling so fast, it almost hurts. He pulls away, his gaze finding mine once more as he says, โThatโs what I would do to you. For starters.โ
Thereโs so much promise in his expression. In his words. And I realize I donโt want to be promised to my father anymore.
I want this boy. I donโt care if it doesnโt last. Maybe I donโt want it to.
I just want to know what it feels like to have a man make me come. To feel his soft hair brush against my thighs as he lavishes my most private spot with his tongue. His fingers. I want to touch him. Everywhere. I want to feel his mouth on mine, his tongue thrusting.
Without thought, I lunge forward, reaching for the beanie still on his head, tearing it off, exposing his rumpled hair. I thrust my hands into the silky softness, straightening it as best I can, not saying a word. He lets me, remaining quiet as well, his eyelids falling shut briefly when I continue stroking his hair, as if it feels good.
I hope it does. Thatโs all I want too. To make him feel good, in the hopes heโll do the same for me.
โIโm not doing anything beyond kissing,โ I warn him, not wanting him to think Iโll let this go any farther than that.
โI only want to kiss you,โ he reassures, his lips quirked up in a barely-there smile.
The smile throws me off. Do I amuse him? I donโt know how to feel about any of this. Excited. Nervous. Scared. Ready.
All of the above.
โOkayโฆgood. Because Iโm not about to let you do whatever you want to me, just so you know.โ
โDonโt worry, Wren. Your virginity is safe.โ He pauses. โFor now.โ I go completely still, staring at him.
If what weโre doing progresses further, then yesโฆ Heโs right.
When I circle my shaking hands around his nape, he bends down, his mouth hovering just above mine.
โYou know this isnโt going to end well,โ he murmurs as he traces my jaw with his fingertips.
I stare at him, hating what he said. Hating more that I agree with him.
โYou sure you want me to be your first?โ He drifts his fingers across my cheek, sliding them into my hair, holding the side of my head, forcing me to meet his gaze. โBecause after I take one, Iโm going to want them all.โ
I nod slowly, unable to look away from him. Heโs got me in a trance, and I donโt ever want to come out of it.
โIโm going to make you feel so good, Birdy.โ He returns his mouth to my ear, his voice a guttural whisper as he murmurs, โYou promise to do the same for me?โ
โYes,โ I whisper, a whimper leaving me when he pulls away slightly. โThen Iโm yours.โ His lips brush mine. โAll yours.โ
The moment our mouths connect, Iโm lost. He kisses me once. Twice. He hums low in his throat, and my body responds to the sound with a slow,
steady pulse between my legs. I part my lips with every brush of his mouth, my breath catching when his tongue teases mine, then retreats.
Oh God. I want him to do that again.
His hand falls to my cheek, angling my head just so as we continue to kiss, his tongue teasing mine. Every gentle flick or slow circle of his tongue to mine makes me aware of my body. How itโs coming to life. Tingles sweeping over my skin. A surge of moisture between my thighs. His hand falls to my neck, his skimming fingers making me shiver as he tilts my head back further, deepening the kiss.
My body catches fire and I grip the back of his head, holding him to me. His other hand is at my waist and he tries to pull me closer, but our coats are blocking us. A frustrated whimper rings in the air and I realizeโฆ
It came from me.
He whispers my name against my lips, and I sigh, the sound full of so much longing, Iโm almost embarrassed. But it doesnโt deter him. He slips his fingers just under the hem of my sweater, his hand on my bare skin making me flush hot everywhere. I drop my hands to his broad shoulders, testing his strength, and he groans. The sound gives me the courage to keep touching him and I run my hand down the front of his chest. Rest it right where his heart thunders beneath my palm, and I have a realization.
I affect him just as much as he affects me.
The car picks up speed, racing down the city streets, and I wonder briefly where weโre at. Where Peter is taking us.
I break away from Crewโs still-seeking lips, trying to catch my breath, and he kisses my neck, his mouth hot and damp against my sensitive skin. I think of my dad. The car he hired to drive me to the gallery this morning. How I never called that driver to pick me up and take me home. Iโm sure he reported back to my father.
Theyโre probably worried about me.
โWhat time is it?โ I ask, panting softly between each word.
Crew lifts away from my neck, studying me. His face is flushed, his mouth damp and swollen, and I lean in, pressing my mouth to his once. Twice. โCheck your phone,โ I whisper.
He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls his phone out, glancing at the screen before he returns his attention to me. โAlmost three.โ
A wave of panic washes over me, making all of those delicious, needy feelings disappear, just like that.
โOh no.โ I glance around the car, stopping to stare out the window, but I donโt recognize where weโre at. โI should get home.โ
โBirdy, waitโโ
โI need to go,โ I interrupt. โMy dad will be there soon. Or he might already be home. I donโt know. Peter?โ
โYes?โ the driver asks, his gaze finding mine in the rearview mirror.
I canโt even be embarrassed that he witnessed us kissing in the back seat. Iโm sure I look a mess. I feel like one. All rumpled and hot and flustered. โCan you take me directly to my apartment?โ
โOf course. Whatโs the address?โ
I rattle it off to him before I turn my attention to Crew, who looks more than a bit agitated.
And even a little angry.
โIโm sorry,โ I whisper, a sharp pain stabbing me in the chest. โI hate to rush, but I have to get home. Iโm sure my parents are worried.โ
Are they though? Maybe not, but my father fully expects me to be home, waiting upon his arrival. Iโve never defied them in my life, and I feel like Iโm already in trouble.
Even though I havenโt really done anything wrong.
Crewโs expression softens, and he touches my hair. Cups the side of my head. โI donโt want them to worry about you. Send them a text.โ
I shake my head. Thatโll just open me up to a litany of questions I donโt want to answer. Not right now, while Crew can bear witness to the interrogation going down. โHow far are we from my place, Peter?โ
โTwenty minutes if traffic is light,โ the driver answers.
โThank you.โ I settle back against the seat, staring out the window, my mind awhirl with all of the terrible possibilities. I can feel Crew watching me and I hate that Iโm in the midst of a panic attack in front of him.
He takes my hand, linking our fingers together. โDonโt stress, Birdy.โ โIโm not stressed,โ I automatically say, keeping my gaze on the window. Iโm afraid if I look at him, I might burst into tears.
He shifts closer, his mouth once again at my ear. โLiar. I know you better than you think.โ
I swallow hard, not saying anything in response. Thatโs what Iโm afraid of.