Nyktos’s private quarters were a lot like his office and his bedchambers—a wide-open space outfitted with only the necessities. A large, oval table sat before doors leading to a balcony on a raised dais framed by two shadowstone pillars. Several chairs sat around the table, and I wondered how often he held meetings here. Two high-back chairs were seated by a credenza stocked with decanters of various sizes. I didn’t spy any of that radek wine. The only other piece of furniture was the thickly cushioned couch I sat on.
The walls were bare. No personal mementos, paintings, or portraits— not even a spare piece of clothing left about.
I glanced down at Reaver, sleeping with his head resting in my lap, and wondered what his room looked like in his home. Before she left to check in on Ector and find Aios, Bele had shared that Reaver had awakened briefly to ask for me. His concern pulled at my heart as I combed my fingers through his hair. He’d tried to protect me. Had nearly died because of it, and that still sent my heart racing. He was too young to experience any of this, and I knew if Kolis wasn’t stopped, the worst was yet to come.
As I watched Reaver’s chest rise and fall under the too-long shirt Bele had found for him, my thoughts spun from one thing to the next. But there was one thought that I kept coming back to.
He’d be willing to do anything for you.
What Veses had said lingered in the back of my mind like a bad dream, making me think of something else I’d heard. What Rhain had claimed after the Cimmerian came to the Rise.
I thought about those I’d seen in the courtyard of Cor Palace. Attes had appeared disgusted, but had Hanan shared the same sentiments? Kyn? Those who had been in the shadowy alcoves? If they had not been bothered by the horrors in that courtyard, they were likely also capable of depraved acts. And Veses…
I brushed Reaver’s hair back from his cheek as I counted his breaths.
Veses was likely capable of anything. And if Nyktos were truly willing to do anything for me?
Pressure settled on my chest as my thoughts traveled to terrible places. The kind that made the embers vibrate, but not with the urge to heal and restore life.
To end it.
I focused on breathing until I heard the soft click of the door. I lifted my gaze, my fingers stilling in Reaver’s hair as Nyktos walked out of the bathing chamber, dragging a towel across his damp chest. He’d waited until I finished bathing to take care of himself, and we hadn’t spoken much—and definitely not about what we’d shared.
I wasn’t sure we needed to discuss it.
I had no regrets. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been in control of my actions. I’d wanted him despite what I did and didn’t know. But that veneer of nothingness felt all the more fragile.
And I wasn’t sure if that was because of what we’d shared or what I was beginning to suspect.
Nyktos draped the towel over the back of a chair. “Still sleeping?” I glanced down at Reaver, nodding as concern picked away at me.
“A young draken could sleep through a war.” He crouched before us, gently rearranging the blanket around Reaver’s waist. “But I think the process of healing—fully healing—takes longer than the results we can immediately see. Both Gemma and Bele slept for some time, so you shouldn’t worry.”
I exhaled slowly, not even bothering to wonder if I had projected my concern or if Nyktos had simply read my emotions.
“And you?” he asked quietly. “How are you feeling?” “Nothing hurts.”
“I’m not talking about that.”
My eyes lifted to his, and…gods, there was a lot we needed to talk about. But I knew what he was referencing. “I wanted you,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “That was my choice. Mine. Not your blood.” I leaned into the cushion, careful not to disturb Reaver. “What will you do with her?”
“She’ll remain below.” He brushed a damp strand of his hair back behind his ear. “I didn’t hold back. The blast of eather put her in stasis.
She’ll probably be down for the count for a couple of days.”
I was relieved to hear one part of that. “And then what? You can’t keep her locked up forever.”
“And I can’t free her either.”
“Because she will go to Kolis.”
“Yeah, but besides that? I want to believe that once you become my Consort, she’ll know it’s a line she can’t cross and that she no longer has control.” Nyktos’s jaw tightened. “But I can’t be sure, especially knowing now that she’s already tried to take you before.” He looked at the table, his brows furrowing. “She never let on to the fact that she felt you.”
“How was she able to feel the embers when not even Kolis could?” I asked, frowning.
“Veses is the Primal of the Rites—of Ascensions. And not just mortal ones. If any Primal could sense a godling or a god when they were near their Ascension, it would be the true Primal of Life and her,” he explained. “But she hasn’t been able to sense even a godling nearing the end of their Culling since Kolis took my father’s embers—something she’s been vocally annoyed about over the years.”
“Let me guess,” I said. “Kolis’s act weakened her abilities?”
He nodded. “But none of us realized how powerful those embers in you are.”
I thought that over. “So, she knew that Taric and the other two gods were searching for the source of the energy that was felt in the mortal realm, and they ended up here. She also sensed something in me— eventually realizing that what she felt were the Primal embers. She put two and two together and ended up at me, and then figured…what? That Kolis would be angry with you for hiding me, so decided to have me dealt with so it didn’t blow back on you?”
“Seems to be that way,” he murmured, scratching at his chin.
“She cares about you.” The words soured my tongue, and I hated thinking them, let alone saying them, but if she was worried what might happen to Nyktos, she cared about him. Not only that, her actions could incite both Nyktos’s and Kolis’s anger.
Nyktos huffed out a humorless laugh. “In her own twisted way—or so she claims.”
I liked that even less than I did the idea of her remaining below in the cells for all the many reasons I didn’t want to think about. But also because
I felt like I was missing a key piece of information.
A delicate charge of energy danced from his flesh to mine as he touched my arm. “You should try to get some rest. It’s late. We can talk more about all of this later.”
“I don’t want to leave Reaver or risk waking him by moving,” I said, and Nyktos smiled faintly before lowering himself to the floor, sitting just below me. “Are you going to stay here?”
Nyktos tipped his head back against the cushion and stared at the ceiling. “As long as you are, I will.”
“You don’t have to do that.” “I know.”
“There has to be better seating.”
“I’m fine just here.” He glanced at me. “But you should still try to get some rest. Reaver will be fine.”
I nodded.
“But you’re not going to rest.” I half-shrugged.
“I could use compulsion, you know.” His fingers rubbed a patch of taut skin above his heart. “And make you do the sensible thing and rest.”
“But you won’t.”
“I won’t.” He sighed. “Morning will be here soon enough, and the day will be long.”
The coronation. Finally. Tomorrow would be long, as would the day after when we left for Irelone, but my mind wasn’t ready to relax. I couldn’t shake the feeling that a whole lot about Veses—and him and Veses—didn’t make sense. There was something I needed to know—had to understand. “You told her I was your Consort in title only.”
A shadow of emotion danced over his features, gone before I could decipher it. “I did.”
The breath I took hurt, and that should’ve served as a warning—one I didn’t heed. “Why?” I whispered. “You wanted the other Primals to believe that we shared some sort of attraction to one another, but you didn’t want her to think that?”
“She’s different,” he said, turning his head away as he dragged a hand over his face.
I tensed and then forced myself to relax as I glanced down at Reaver. “How so? Better yet, how did you even begin to explain why you’d take a
Consort in title only?”
Nyktos didn’t answer for several long moments as he stared at the bare stone walls. “It’s complicated, Sera.”
“I’m sure I can understand.”
“But it’s something that I cannot explain.”
The veneer cracked even further. “You mean it’s something you will not explain.”
Nyktos’s eyes closed as he dropped his hand to his bent knee.
I waited. When he said no more, it took a lot for me to keep the whirlwind of emotion rattling around inside me contained. “Do you care for her?”
“Fates.” He laughed flatly, shaking his head. “I pity her. I loathe her.
That’s all I feel for her.”
His answer left me even more confused. “And what do you feel for me?”
Nyktos was silent and then tipped his head back to look at me. Eather pulsed intensely behind his pupils. “I feel too many things. Curiosity and excitement that remind me of what I think yearning must feel like. Need. Want,” he said roughly, his voice low. “Amusement at times. Sometimes, even anger. But always awe. I am always in awe of you. I could keep going, but most of all, what I feel is the closest thing to peace I’ve ever experienced.”
 |
The messy knot of dark hair slid a little as the once-Chosen, now seamstress, tilted her head. “Don’t move,” Erlina ordered softly.
“Good luck with that,” Bele commented. Erlina laughed quietly.
I sent the goddess a narrow-eyed glare from where I stood on a stool in my bedchamber. Someone had cleaned up the mess Veses had left behind before I returned, but I swore I could still feel her here. Smell her. Roses. My lip curled.
“By the way,” Bele added from where she was sprawled across the settee, her head resting on one arm and her legs propped on the other. She
wasn’t even looking at me as she flipped a dagger in her hand for the umpteenth time, something she’d been doing since Aios had finished styling my hair and left. “I heard Jadis threw a massive fit when Nektas was leaving her and Reaver in the mountains and she realized that she wouldn’t be at the coronation.”
My brows lifted. “Really?” “Yep.”
Hearing that made me a little sad. I would’ve loved to have the younger draken there. But even with Kolis’s permission, that didn’t mean things wouldn’t go south. And after what’d happened to Reaver, no one wanted to risk the younglings.
“You’re moving again,” Bele said.
I glanced over at her. “No, I’m not.” “You’re swaying,” Erlina confirmed. I was?
“Yeah, swaying like you had one too many glasses of wine,” Bele tacked on.
“What are you even doing here?” I asked as Erlina snipped a thread near the curve of my hip. My tone bordered on my mother’s whenever she’d seen me somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. My earlier happiness at seeing Bele when she arrived with Aios had faded about five hundred remarks ago.
“Making sure you stand still.”
“You haven’t done a good job of that,” Erlina said around the needle she held between her teeth.
I rolled my eyes.
Bele snorted.
“I haven’t moved that much,” I defended.
Erlina’s hands stilled as she looked up at me with dark brown eyes, her brows raised.
“Whatever,” I muttered.
“I have never seen someone as antsy as you.” The dagger flipped into the air once more. “It’s like you have sparanea in your veins instead of blood.”
I frowned. “Sparanea?”
“Yeah, they’re everywhere in the mountains of Sirta, where it’s snowing,” she said, referencing Hanan’s Court. “They’re basically tiny
spiders that are really fast and super venomous.”
“What the fuck…?” I whispered, shuddering as my mind immediately began hurling images of tiny spiders crawling around inside me.
“That didn’t help,” Erlina said.
Bele giggled, the sound soft and airy. “Sorry. But, hey, at least I’m not talking about the spiders that are the size of a large dog.”
“Spiders the size of a dog?” I whispered.
“Yeah. They love the wetlands. Freaking huge. Scare the shit out of you when you see them scurrying about. But they don’t bite,” she continued while I decided I no longer had any desire to see more of Iliseeum if those things lived in the rest of the realm. “They’re more scared of you than you should be of them.”
“It is impossible not to be afraid of a spider the size of a dog.”
Bele snickered. “Then I probably shouldn’t tell you about the snakes
—”
“Please stop talking,” I told her. The goddess laughed.
Erlina snipped another thread. “It’s okay,” the seamstress said quietly.
“You know…if you’re nervous.” She glanced up at me. “Anyone would be.”
“True.” Bele caught the dagger an inch before it plunged into her chest. “It’s not every day that someone is crowned the Consort of the Primal God of Death before a massive crowd made up of gods and Primals.”
I stared at her as she tossed the blade into the air once more. “I hope you drop that dagger, and it ends up in your eye.”
Bele caught it. “And the entirety of Lethe,” she went on. “When I saw Ector earlier, he said that much of the council house was already bursting with people. You know, I’m kind of glad I have to remain behind. That is way too many people.”
My heart hammered. While I was relieved to know that Ector was up and moving about, I was more nervous than I’d thought I would be, and maybe even a little overwhelmed. Okay. A lot overwhelmed, which felt strange considering I had planned for this moment for most of my life. All of this felt surreal, and I doubted the lack of real sleep had anything to do with it.
“There.” Erlina straightened and stepped back, eyeing me. “That should be it.”
I blinked, slowly coming back to the moment. “What is?” “The gown.” The once-Chosen took my hand. “Here.”
She guided me to turn around on the stool so that I faced the standing mirror she had brought in with her. I saw myself.
My hair hadn’t been brushed to within an inch of its life but tamed by some serum Aios had rubbed between her palms after braiding the sides back. Pale curls and waves cascaded down my spine, glistening.
No veil covered my features, but I barely noticed the freckles. A shimmering gold powder highlighted the arch of my brow and cheekbones, and the mocha hue that Aios had lined my lids and lower lashes with somehow deepened the green of my irises. She’d stained my lips a color only a few shades darker than they normally were.
And the gown…
It wasn’t white or transparent but a warm, silver shade close to the rare color of Nyktos’s eyes when he was amused or relaxed. The sleeves were a delicate lace pattern that resembled the scrollwork I often saw on Nyktos’s and his guards’ tunics. That same scrolling design traveled over the rest of the gown, where it fit like a second skin from my breasts to my hips. From there, layers of soft gossamer and chiffon had been painstakingly stitched together so the skirt fell in wispy layers to the floor. Tiny diamonds twinkled from my arms, breasts, the waist, and the skirt. The gown was starlight.
“What do you think?” Erlina asked as she slid the small loop that was connected to the underside of the sleeve onto my forefinger on both hands.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.
“You’re beautiful.” Bele’s face appeared above my shoulder. “Really.” I cleared my throat. “Thank you.” I turned to Erlina. “Thank you.”
Her golden-brown cheeks warmed. “It was a pleasure and an honor to make this gown.”
“I don’t know how you did all of this. It would’ve taken me years.” I laughed shakily. “Actually, I couldn’t even do this in a lifetime.”
“Same,” Bele murmured, and Erlina shrugged off the comments, but her smile spread.
With Bele’s help, I carefully stepped down from the stool. “Will you be at the coronation?”
Erlina nodded. “Luckily, coronations are much like the Rites. All the mortals and godlings in attendance will be masked.”
I was happy to hear that she would be there, but concern still blossomed as I stepped into heeled shoes. “And will that be safe?”
“Mortals and godlings will be far enough away from the rest that they won’t be able to tell who is among them,” Bele answered. “And most of the Chosen who were brought into the Shadowlands have been here long enough that if any of the gods or Primals fed from them while in Dalos, their blood would’ve weakened by now.”
“Thank the Fates,” Erlina murmured. She then clasped my hands. “I will see you there, Your Highness.”
“Don’t—” Catching Bele’s pointed glare, I sighed. “I will see you there.”
Erlina left then with her sewing bag, leaving the mirror to be retrieved later. Bele closed the door behind her as I went to where the shadowstone dagger and its sheath lay on the chest by the wardrobe.
I picked it up and gently hiked up the skirt.
“What are you…?” Bele chuckled as I strapped the sheath around my thigh. “Nice touch.”
“Never leave without it,” I remarked, securing the sheath and then lowering my foot. I watched the skirt sparkle its way back to the floor.
“Just remember that dagger won’t do shit to a Primal,” Bele offered. “You know, in case any of them decide to give tradition a giant Primal middle finger.”
“Yeah, not like I’m going to forget that after shoving a dagger through Veses’ eye, and her pretty much brushing it off.”
“Fates, I wish I’d been there to see that.”
“It was really gross.” I glanced over at her. “She still sleeps?”
Bele nodded. “Hopefully, for the next hundred years, but I doubt we’ll get that lucky.”
“Yeah, but how long do we have before she’s missed and someone comes looking for her?” I asked. Though, hopefully, Nyktos managed to transfer the embers, and Veses’ whereabouts would be the least of anyone’s concerns as he Ascended as the true Primal of Life.
She snorted. “You really think the crowd Veses runs with would care enough to realize she’s missing? The answer would be no. To be honest, I bet most are grateful she’s gone.”
Well, that kind of…made me sad. And I didn’t want to feel bad for her because I was petty and still didn’t fully understand what the hell was going
on between her and Nyktos. He claimed he couldn’t stand her but let her feed from him and do who knew what else. And Veses did care about him, at least enough to not want to see him get in trouble with Kolis.
But I had a feeling someone knew what was going on between them. “Do you know if Rhain is still here?” I asked.
“He is. He’ll be one of your escorts to Lethe.”
I glanced at the closed doors. Now probably wasn’t the best time for this conversation, but… “I would like to see him really quick, if you know where he’s at.”
Curiosity marked her features. “He’s nearby. I’ll get him.” She looked at the gown. “Remember. Less movement is better.”
“I remember,” I said, smiling, even though standing still while Bele retrieved Rhain was easier said than done. Thankfully, she returned within minutes with one very confused-looking god.
“You needed to see me?” Rhain asked, coming to stand with his hand on the hilt of a sword.
“Yes.” I glanced at Bele. “Can you wait for us in the hall?” Her brows shot up. “Do I have to?”
“I would like it if you did.” “But I’m nosy.”
I stared at her while Rhain looked even more bewildered. “Fine,” Bele grumbled. “I’ll wait in the hall.”
Once the door was closed, I turned to Rhain. “There’s something I need to ask you.”
His head tilted toward the brighter light of the chandelier, turning his hair more red than gold. “And this isn’t something you could ask in front of Bele?”
“I didn’t think you’d answer if she or anyone else were present,” I told him.
“I have a bad feeling about where this is going,” he muttered, clearing his throat. “What is it you want to know?”
“In a few hours, I will be the Consort. I assume that means I have some level of authority when it comes to those here—even Nyktos’s guards.”
Rhain’s golden-brown eyes narrowed. “It does.”
“So, that means if I ask you something, you’d have to answer me
honestly, correct?”
“Yeah.” He drew out the word. “I guess so.”
“Then I’m hoping you’ll answer what I’m about to ask so that I don’t have to order you to do it in a few hours,” I said as wariness settled into his features. “I know this is likely a very inopportune time to ask this, but I want to know what Nyktos sacrificed for me.”
Rhain blinked, and it took a few seconds for his expression to smooth out. “I didn’t mean—”
“I don’t think you were being dramatic, as Ector claimed. You know something.”
He stared at me, his shoulders tensing. “Why do you want to know?” “Because I do.”
“Let me rephrase. Do you actually care if he did or didn’t?”
I stiffened. “I wouldn’t be asking you if I didn’t. You can believe that or not. I know I won’t be able to change your mind. And, to be honest, at this moment, I don’t really care if you do. Just answer my question. Please.”
Rhain held my stare, but then his gaze cut away. He cursed. “I shouldn’t have said a damn thing. He just might kill me if he finds out I did.”
I doubted that Nyktos would kill Rhain. “I won’t repeat what you tell me.”
His eyes shot back to mine, the glow behind his pupils brighter. “And I’m supposed to trust that?”
“Contrary to what you may believe about me, and despite your dislike of me, I don’t want to see you or anyone else here murdered,” I replied dryly. “Especially by Nyktos.”
“Yeah, well, I sure as fuck hope that’s true.” Rhain shifted from one foot to the other, cursing again as he lifted his gaze to the chandelier. “Eythos kept that damn deal he made with your ancestor quiet for a long time.”
Surprise flickered through me. I hadn’t expected this to come up.
“So did Nyktos. None of us even knew about it until…until another discovered it a few years back. How? The fuck if I know. The deals are only known to those who forged the deal and the Arae because those nosy bastards have to know just about everything,” he said, his lips pursing. “She only learned of the deal—not everything Eythos did on the side. But learning about you was all she needed.”
A chill of knowing swept up the back of my neck. “She?”
“Veses.” He laughed, but it was dry and rough. “Yeah, she found out a couple of years back. Threatened to tell Kolis that Nyktos had a Consort in the mortal realm—something she knew Kolis would be very intrigued by. And by intrigued, I mean Kolis would’ve taken you from the mortal realm and used you to get to Nyktos.”
Suddenly, I saw Veses in my mind, standing with Nyktos outside his office, touching him. I heard that you have taken a Consort. I’d assumed that question meant she hadn’t known. But there had been a strange tone to her voice—one not of surprise but of…annoyance.
And it would make sense that Nyktos had told her that I was a Consort in title only because she knew about the deal—knew better. Still didn’t sting any less, but it made sense.
“And, lucky for you, I guess, Veses’ obsession with Nyktos is greater than her loyalty to Kolis,” Rhain said, and unease exploded in my gut. “Nyktos was able to bargain with her. Got her to stay quiet.” He stared at the floor, his lips twisting into a sneer. “For a price.”
I went cold. Suddenly, I didn’t want to know. Felt maybe this was best left unknown. But what Veses had said about Nyktos lying to her clicked into place. Rhain had confirmed what I already knew—she didn’t know about the embers, but she suspected there was more. Something that he was hiding, even though he hadn’t known about the embers years ago. Something that he would be…
He’d be willing to do anything for you… I needed to know exactly what that was. “What was the price?” I asked hoarsely.
“He agreed to…service her needs with his blood. To feed her whenever she desired.”
My lips parted, and for a moment, I felt absolutely nothing.
“You would think that wouldn’t be often. Primals don’t need to feed that much unless they’ve been weakened, but Veses doesn’t go long without paying a visit. And what could he do? He couldn’t refuse her.” His gaze lifted to mine. “Not when your ass was on the line.”
Then I felt everything.
I jerked back a step, my entire body recoiling from what Rhain had said. I hadn’t understood why Nyktos would allow her to touch him or feed from him. Until now. But I did understand why he wouldn’t tell me. That he serviced Veses to keep the knowledge of the deal, of me, a secret.
Oh, gods. I thought I might be sick. “Why would he do that?” Rhain stared at me. “You know why.”
I slammed my eyes shut. He was right. I did know. The same reason he hadn’t taken me as his Consort three years ago. To protect me from Kolis. “Dear gods, I…”
The box I’d closed all those emotions away in shattered, and I couldn’t speak around the storm of them exploding through me. Disbelief and horror seized me, much like they had when Kolis had demanded his price, but this was ugly in an entirely different way. I took another step back as if I could distance myself, but I couldn’t. There was no distancing to be done.
How could he agree to something like that to protect me, even before he really knew me? Why would he subject himself to that—her demand of a thing that wouldn’t have been offered to her under any other circumstances?
He’d sacrificed the right to deny someone.
I suddenly thought about how shocked they had all been after learning that Nyktos didn’t react when I touched him. How they’d said he didn’t like to be touched—
And when he’d said he wanted no one but me. Wanted. Oh, gods.
“Maybe Veses wanted to take you out because she figured out what you had in you and how that could blow back on Nyktos. But she also knew that the leverage she had over him was coming to an end,” he said, and I heard what Nyktos had said the night before—that she no longer has control. “No one can tell me that doesn’t have something to do with her coming at you. Because once you become his Consort, you will no longer be a secret to protect.”
“He could’ve stopped—” I couldn’t bring myself to say it. “Others found out about me weeks ago. He didn’t know that she could still feel me nearing my Ascension…” I trailed off, falling silent.
Because the embers didn’t matter.
Nyktos hadn’t been protecting them. Not a week ago. Not months ago.
Or even years ago.
He had been protecting me.
“None of us understood why he tolerated her presence when it was clear that he couldn’t stand her.” Dragging a hand through his hair, he clasped the back of his neck, and my chest felt too tight. “But he didn’t tell
us, you know? Only Ector and I found out because, after one of her visits, he was in bad shape. She had…”
It took no amount of imagination to fill in what he wouldn’t say. If Nyktos were in bad shape, it could’ve been because Veses had taken too much blood.
“His cold skin,” I rasped. “He told me it was because he was Death.” “But he’s not the true Primal of Death,” Rhain said. “His flesh
shouldn’t feel that way.”
“It does because—” I sucked in a ragged breath. “It does because of her
feeding from him.”
Rhain didn’t answer. He didn’t need to because I knew. I’d been right about my suspicions.
Then my skin warmed, the embers in my chest vibrating as red-hot fury flooded my system, invading every cell of my body. A tremor hit me—
“Holy shit,” Rhain whispered, light flickering over his face and the walls as he stared at the shuddering chandelier. “That’s…that’s you. You’re doing that.” He snapped forward, crossing the distance between us. He clasped my cheeks, forcing my eyes to his. “You need to calm. Because I cannot stop you like Nyktos could without knocking your ass out in a far more painful way. That’s not really an option because Nyktos would get really pissed at me for hurting you. But I also don’t want to know what it feels like to have a palace come down on my head.”
The embers hummed powerfully, but the rage…it was like what I’d felt when I stared at Kolis—when I’d felt her inside me. But this was all me. My fury was so great, so terrible that it calmed me. Not the embers. Me. The embers still hummed, but I willed the chandelier to still.
And it did.
I inhaled sharply. “I’m going to kill her.”
Rhain’s eyes widened in alarm. “You can’t kill a Primal, Sera.” “Watch me try,” I promised.
