Everything that came next happened in a daze as if I were watching from high above. Kolis laughed as the embers of life hummed violently in my chest.
He laughed as I dropped the blade, and it clattered off the marble floor. He gave his permission as I watched Attes lift the fallen draken, the
Primal’s jaw tensing as the male’s blood singed his flesh—as Kyn locked eyes with mine—eyes now clear of the liquor haze but full of burning hatred.
He deemed me worthy as Nyktos took my hand that had frozen in midair.
He dismissed us as the voices calmed, and that entity inside me settled to wait for what she was owed.
He left a mark that remained as I exited the atrium.
I didn’t remember walking the hall or the courtyard. I didn’t see Attes or Kyn, and if Nyktos spoke, I didn’t hear him. We’d accomplished what we’d come for. We entered the trees of Aios with the knowledge that Kolis didn’t recognize me as Sotoria and left knowing that Gemma had been right: Kolis had figured out how to create life.
But I left a piece of myself behind in that atrium—a small sliver of that goodness that Nyktos had spoken of. It had been carved out and now lay beside that blade on the marble scorched by the draken’s blood.
As Nyktos folded his arms around me, preparing for us to shadowstep back to the balcony of his private quarters, I knew I would never get that piece back.
An image of the draken flashed before me. “Take me to Attes and Kyn’s Court,” I rasped, feeling those tight, shallow breaths as he held me to his chest. “Take me to Vathi. I can bring him back.”
“Sera,” he whispered—pleaded, really. “You can’t do that.”
“Bringing him back won’t cause another’s death, right? The draken must be like a god.”
“Yes, but—”
I grasped the front of his tunic, keeping my voice low. “I can try. It hasn’t been that long, and we don’t know if Kolis will feel it, right? How can we be sure? I never brought a draken back. It’s not like I’ll Ascend him. I’ve brought animals back before and no one—”
“A draken is not the same thing as an animal, Sera,” Nyktos cut me off, his eyes flat as a balmy breeze stirred the golden leaves above us. “And when you did, it was felt. It was faint. Different. We didn’t know what we were feeling then, but we do now.”
“Okay. Then maybe he will feel something, but I have to do this. Please.” My hands shook as I tugged on his tunic. “What is the point of any of this if innocents are allowed to die? What is the point of sacrificing the few to save the many when the few become so numerous? Why is there even a balance if evil is allowed to continually upset it?” How does anyone stay good living like that?
Shadows bled beneath Nyktos’s flesh as he stared down at me. “We don’t. We survive instead. That is how we honor the sacrifice the draken never should’ve had to make.”
But that wasn’t enough. Not for me.
Not for her.
“That’s not enough,” I told him. “It will never be enough.”
Nyktos’s eyes closed as he cursed. Then the shadowy eather rose around us. My heart lurched as I tried to pull away, but Nyktos held me tight to his chest. Only seconds passed, and then cooler air that smelled of the sea replaced the warm air.
My eyes flew open as I jerked back. I didn’t get far. Nyktos had a hold of me, but I twisted in his embrace, realizing that we were on some sort of white stone balcony. Stunned, I saw green—the tips of lush, dark pines sweeping over rolling hills that swept up and up to snow-capped mountains. I turned, looking past an ivory-hued Rise as tall as what surrounded the House of Haides and then out to the pale blue waters of a sea.
“Where are we?” I whispered.
“In a place of bad life choices,” Nyktos muttered.
Wind suddenly roared across the balcony, whipping my hair as something large and black swept up. Wings. Large, leathery draken wings. Nyktos hauled me against his chest as a horned tail glided a hairsbreadth from where I’d stood.
“What the hell are you two doing here?” Attes demanded. “Without invitation or warning, I may add.”
Vathi.
Nyktos had brought me to Vathi.
I almost collapsed with relief as we turned to the open doors. Attes was striding toward us, patches of his tunic burned straight through to exposed, raw flesh.
“The draken,” I said in a hurry. “Where is he?” Attes drew up short. “Kyn took him to burn—”
“Stop him! You need to stop him right now.” I lurched forward, panic blossoming. “Please. Go get him and bring him to me. Please.”
A deep frown appeared as he glanced at Nyktos. “What the hell?” “Go!” I shouted, causing Attes to blink.
“Do it,” Nyktos ordered. “Quickly.”
Attes hesitated for just a moment, then a silvery mist whirled around him. A heartbeat later, he was gone. Slowly, I turned to Nyktos. We weren’t exactly alone. Across the courtyard, a black draken perched on the Rise, eyeing us warily.
“Thank you,” I uttered.
“Don’t thank me.” Nyktos stepped away, scrubbing a hand over his head.
“I’m sorry. I have to do this.” Heart twisting as Nyktos looked away, I rubbed my bloodless palms over the bodice of my gown, jerking them away when I felt tiny holes there. The draken’s blood had burned through my gown but hadn’t reached my skin. Memories of his pale, resigned face appeared once more, and bile choked me.
Nyktos made a rough sound as he turned, reaching for me.
“No! Don’t—” Unable to bear the contact, I stepped to the side. A gods-awful sourness settled in my chest, curdling my stomach. “I need to bring him back because he didn’t deserve that—I mean, he was basically a kid. And I don’t understand why Kolis would do that to one of Kyn’s draken. Simply because he can?”
“He did it because he knew the draken are one of the few things Kyn cares about. Kolis obviously planned to demand that price, and summoned him for that very reason,” he said, and I wondered if that was why Kyn had been so intoxicated. “Kolis knew what he was doing. He was making Kyn our enemy.”
I’d seen the hatred in Kyn’s eyes. There was no doubt in my mind that Kolis had succeeded. “But that draken did nothing wrong—”
“You’re right. He didn’t.” Tension bracketed his mouth. “But that doesn’t matter to Kolis. I doubt it ever has.”
I inhaled, but the breath barely went anywhere. “Do you think we can trust Attes?”
“It’s a little late to ask that question now,” he said. “But I fucking hope
so.”
I shoved a mass of tangled curls back from my face as that oily,
insidious weight slithered through my veins again.
What if we were too late? What if this didn’t work? I’d never brought back someone with a dual life.
Pressure began to build, and I turned, grasping the railing. I felt…sick in my own skin. As if I couldn’t scrape off the ugliness even if I took a wire brush to it.
“He returns,” Nyktos stated as I felt a faint tremor in my chest.
I turned back to the room, almost crying out when I saw Attes laying the slender, fair-haired draken on a table inside. I rushed in, nearly knocking over a potted snake plant in my haste.
“Kyn left to find himself some whiskey before he got started,” Attes said, his brows pinched as he drew a hand over the draken’s bloodless cheek. He looked at us. “I really don’t know what either of you think you’re going to do.”
“Yeah, well, you’re about to find out.” Nyktos stalked in behind me as I reached the draken’s side. “No one comes here.”
The blow I had delivered had been clean, but not all that quick. It would’ve taken several minutes for him to bleed out, and I hated thinking about those minutes, but I needed that extra time. The draken’s soul could’ve already entered Arcadia, and I couldn’t let myself think on what it meant to pull his soul back. And maybe I should. Because who was I to make this choice?
But nothing about this draken’s death had been natural. It hadn’t been his time. It hadn’t been my choice.
This was.
And right or wrong, I was willing to live with this one.
I placed my hands on his chest, mindful of the dried blood.
“No one ever comes into my private chambers,” Attes said in response to Nyktos’s order. “Until today, that is.”
“And you will not speak of what you’re about to see,” Nyktos continued, coming closer to the table as I closed my eyes, summoning the embers of life. “If you do, I will level your Court, Attes. And I will hunt you down. And it will not be your eyes I remove when I find you.”
The embers responded with a rush of heat and energy, flooding my veins. I saw silver, even behind my closed lids. I felt the power rushing through me, running down my arms and across my fingers. My palms warmed as eather sparked, tingling and absolute.
“You know, I’m getting really tired of your threats, Nyktos. You could actually think to—” Attes cut himself off with a gasp as the scent of freshly bloomed lilacs filled the space. “Holy fuck.”
I opened my eyes, sucking in air as a silvery glow rippled over the draken, washing over the puncture wound in his chest and then seeping inside. A staggering, high-pitched sound came from outside, something I recognized as a draken’s call. It was answered in a chorus that must have echoed through the entirety of the Court.
“Holy fuck,” Attes repeated, stumbling back from the table.
All the draken’s veins lit up, first at the chest and then along his neck and cheeks. For a brief second, the draken was luminous, bright as a star. Then the eather faded.
Heart pounding, I lifted my hands. “I…I don’t know if it will work.” Nyktos leaned in. “If it doesn’t, it will—”
“It won’t be okay,” I whispered. “Maybe I need to try again. I might need to try harder.” I went to place my hands on the draken’s chest.
“Sera.” Nyktos reached over, catching my hand. I started to pull free—
The draken’s chest rose in a deep, ragged breath as his eyes fluttered open—eyes that were an intense, cobalt blue. Just as Nektas’s had briefly been. The staggered call came again from outside.
“Thank gods,” I whispered, falling against the table as I smiled. “It worked.”
Nyktos squeezed my hand. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his whirling eyes. “It did.”
“I…” The young draken cleared his throat, blinking eyes that deepened into their normal polished, ruby hue. He looked down at his chest, placing a shaking hand against the now-healed skin. His gaze flew to mine. “Meyaah Liessa,” he rasped.
“No. Just Sera,” I told him, voice thick and trembling. “How do you feel?”
“I feel…okay,” he answered, glancing at Attes as the Primal inched closer to the table. “Just tired. Really tired.”
“I think that’s normal,” I said, lightly touching his arm. “You’ll likely need rest for a while. I hope you’re—” I cut myself off. “You will just need rest.”
“Yeah.” He looked at Attes again.
“He’ll need to shift forms,” the Primal explained, glancing at me before focusing on the draken. “You’ll be safe here to rest.”
He nodded, eyes closing. “Thad.” “Excuse me?” I questioned.
“Thad,” he repeated sleepily. “My name is Thad.”
 |
“You’re going to have to keep him hidden,” Nyktos said as I stood by the open doors. The mountains of Vathi were beautiful, but it was hard to see them with the dozen or so draken now lining the Rise. “Kolis likely felt that.”
Attes snorted. “Yeah, he did. We all felt that.” “He may even need to be hidden from Kyn.” “That could be a problem.”
I glanced over my shoulder, first checking the brown-and-black-scaled draken now curled up on his side on the table. His tail, still without its spikes, hung off the edge.
“Kyn cares for the draken.” Attes was pacing by the table. “He may think that one of the others took care of Thad, but he spends a lot of time in the mountains.”
“Then, when he wakes, you can bring him to the Shadowlands,” Nyktos offered. “Nektas will keep him safe and hidden.”
Attes nodded. “That he will.” “We cannot linger.”
“No.” Attes cocked his head toward me. “That charm she bears will not work here.”
“No,” I said. “It will not.”
“Kolis may send the dakkais here,” Nyktos warned. Nothing had happened yet, but I knew that didn’t mean anything. “To search for the embers.”
“We’ll be ready if he does.” “And?” Nyktos insisted.
Attes stopped in front of him. “And they will not learn of what happened here. I swear.” He turned toward me. “To you.”
I watched the Primal lower himself to one knee, placing one hand over his heart as he flattened his other palm against the floor. “I swear I will not betray what you’ve done today, meyaah Liessa.”
“That’s really not necessary,” I said. “The my-Queen part. I’m not your Queen.”
Attes lifted his head. “But you are—” “No, I’m not anything,” I cut him off.
The Primal of War and Accord frowned as he rose, turning to Nyktos. Nyktos shook his head.
Attes glanced back at me. “I knew something was…different about you. You didn’t feel like a godling.” He then said to Nyktos, “But I thought it was what you told Kolis. That you’d given her a lot of your blood.”
“You had to know when you left that wasn’t the case. You’re clever. You may have thought I was the source of power when you arrived, but you must have had your suspicions upon leaving.”
“I did,” Attes confirmed, his gaze sweeping over me. “I had a lot of suspicions when you didn’t respond to my presence like you should have.”
I tensed. “It was rude of you to even try.”
“There are far ruder things I could try,” he replied, but when Nyktos’s eyes narrowed, he added, “But I prefer not to be threatened for the sixteenth time today.”
“It hasn’t been sixteen times, but I’m sure we’ll get to that number soon enough,” Nyktos growled, the eather in his eyes stilling. “Why not say
something to Kolis, Attes? You could’ve gone to him with your suspicions before. You could now. You’d be favored like Hanan once was, and you know what that means. You don’t have to worry about your draken or vassals being dragged to Court to be slaughtered.”
“I know. And I could’ve.” Attes faced Nyktos. “But as I said before, I remember who your father was. I remember who you were meant to be.”
 |
Shadowy tendrils of eather settled around us as we returned to the Shadowlands. The stars were still faint, but the sky was beginning to darken as I stepped out of Nyktos’s embrace and turned to his balcony railing.
There were no snow-kissed mountains or deep green pines to look upon here, but there was a unique, eerie beauty to the crimson sea of leaves and the iron skies.
“What do you think will happen now?” I asked, folding my fingers over the cool stone railing. “With Attes? Kolis?”
“There’s really no way to know. Kolis may do nothing at the moment, or he may send a warning just as he did with us.” Nyktos joined me, placing his hand beside mine. “But I trust Attes. At least, with this. He was shaken, and I’ve never seen him shaken. He’ll keep quiet—at least long enough for us to hold the coronation and transfer the embers.”
I nodded as the embers pulsed in my chest, pressing against my skin. I ignored the feeling. “I know that we could be wrong and that what I just did could come back to bite us. But I had to…fix that.”
“I know,” he said. “Just because the rest of us have lived that way, it shouldn’t be…it shouldn’t be how it is.”
I glanced at him, but he said no more for several moments. Then he did.
“Why?” he asked. “Why did you speak out? You shouldn’t have done that, Sera. I could have handled whatever he would’ve dealt.”
I closed my eyes.
“I knew that he would demand a price. I knew it would be sick. Twisted. And I was prepared to do it. To carry the mark it would leave behind.” He was closer now, his voice low. “You didn’t have to speak up.
You didn’t need to feel this way. And I know you still feel guilt. Fixing it only lessened a little of that. You don’t deserve this.”
“And you do?” Opening my eyes, I looked over at him. “You deserve to carry those marks?”
Wisps of eather appeared in his eyes. “I’m used to it.”
The cool railing pressed into my palms. “That’s all the more reason it shouldn’t have been you.”
“That is exactly why it should have been me.”
“That’s bullshit,” I snapped, latching on to the anger because that was a far better feeling than this. “I’m sorry that I took that draken’s life, but I am not sorry that I prevented you from being forced to kill. And I hate myself for doing it, but I hate Kolis far more for demanding that it be done. So, yeah, even though I was able to bring Thad back, I still feel like shit over it. I’ll deal with it. And if you’re mad at me for stepping up, you’re going to deal with that and get the fuck over it.”
“I’m not mad at you, Sera.” His eyes flashed with intense bolts of essence. “I’m horrified that you put yourself in that position, and that you now have to live with that because of me.”
I sucked in a rattled breath. “I didn’t do it because of you. Kolis gets that honor. I did it for you. There’s a world of difference.”
Nyktos drew back as if I’d slapped him. “Again, I ask…why would you do that for me? I don’t deserve that. Not after I’ve hurt you. Not even before then.”
That was a good question. One I knew the answer to.
I wanted to protect Nyktos, even now, and that desire led to another question I didn’t want to think about right now. I couldn’t.
I turned my gaze to the crimson leaves, refocusing on far more important things. My voice trembled slightly as I said, “Do you think Dyses is what Gemma spoke of? Kolis’s reborn? These…Revenants?”
Nyktos didn’t answer for a long moment, but I felt his stare on me. “She said she never saw them during the day, but it has to be, right? Only a Primal could survive the destruction of their heart. Not a god.”
“But she also said that Kolis needed his graeca to perfect them.” My lips twisted. “Not sure how to perfect beyond being able to survive one’s heart being destroyed.”
“Neither do I. I can’t even be sure that Dyses was a god. He felt like one but…off in a way that was hard to process.” He exhaled heavily. “All I can hope is that Kolis doesn’t have many of them. That could prove problematic.”
A short, hoarse laugh left me. “I think that’s an understatement,” I said, swallowing. “How in the hell did he bring him back to life? He doesn’t have the embers of life in him anymore. Or could we be wrong about that?” “We’re not wrong. And I have no idea how the hell he did that because
Dyses isn’t a demis.”
It took me a moment to remember what Aios had told me about them. They were mortals Ascended by a god; those who didn’t have enough essence in them like the third sons and daughters to be Ascended. It was an act forbidden because it rarely succeeded and often changed the mortal in unpleasant ways. “How would you know?”
“I would feel that. They have a certain presence that a Primal can sense. A…wrongness,” he said, watching the distant figures of the guards patrolling the Rise. “Gemma said that the Revenants were Kolis’s work in progress. It’s possible that she’s seen them at different stages of creation.” His shoulders tensed. “Either way, he found a way to create life without the embers, something that could convince the other Courts that he does have that power within him. But who knows what kind of life he’s conjured? Or what they truly are.”
A shiver went through me. “Do you think he believed you? That you thought he had been the one who Ascended a god in the Shadowlands?”
“Fuck, no.” Nyktos laughed under his breath. “It’s possible that he believes I may not be aware of who it was and that I searched for the source, but there is no way he thinks that I believe it was him. He was saving face in front of Hanan and the Primals of Vathi.”
That made more sense than Kolis actually believing that Nyktos thought it was him. “But then that also means he knows that you realize another has the embers of life. Why would he let that slide?”
“It’s the same reason there was no immediate attack on Vathi. It’s because of what your Holland said. There is only so much he can do to me before he risks exposing exactly how much of a fraud he is,” he reminded me. “His control over the other Primals would weaken if they truly believed he no longer had embers of life in him. It’s possible that he believes he can
find the source before anyone else. But now I wish we’d had time to ask Attes what he thought about Dyses.”
I nodded, rubbing my palms back and forth over the railing. So did I, but lingering in Vathi wouldn’t have been wise, and I’d already engaged in enough unwise behavior for the day. Several moments of silence passed. “Kolis wasn’t what I expected,” I said, clearing my throat. “I mean, what he demanded as a price was what I expected, but before that? He was…”
“Measured? Calm?” he said with another short, dry laugh. “Kolis can be incredibly charming when he wants to be, and that is when he is the most dangerous.”
I remembered then what Aios had said. That Kolis had a way of making someone forget who and what they were. I looked down at my hands, seeing blood that had never touched my skin. “We have his permission.”
“It’s not the only thing we have, even though I don’t really trust that he gave his permission,” Nyktos said, and I had to agree with that sentiment. “We also know he didn’t recognize you.”
I nodded again.
“Something happened there. With you.” Nyktos angled his body toward mine. “I felt it.”
Throat constricting, I looked up at him. “Felt what?”
“Rage.” His eyes searched mine. “A rage I don’t think was yours. It felt different. Tasted different.”
“It wasn’t just mine,” I admitted quietly. “I don’t know how or why, but I know. I felt it.” I placed a hand on my chest. “Her anger. I could feel her looking through my eyes. Sotoria.”
Nyktos inhaled sharply. “I think Holland was wrong. I think a lot of us were wrong, and you were right.” His gaze swept over me. “You’re not Sotoria. You have two souls. Yours. And hers.”
