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Chapter no 20

A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire (Blood and Ash Series #2)

โ€œYouโ€™ve been entirely too quiet today,โ€ Casteel pointed out again, several hours into the ride to Spessaโ€™s End.

โ€œHave I?โ€ I asked, knowing full well there was no point denying it. The back of my neck tightened. Conversation had hummed all around me. Jokes had been shared. Playful insults were often traded, and while Casteel was their Prince, his status didnโ€™t give him immunity. Few questions and comments had been directed at me, mostly about my training and how I was able to keep it hidden. Other than explaining how I trained with Vikter, I remained silent.

There was less opportunity for me to mess up that way. โ€œYou have,โ€ he said.

Aware of how close Delano and Naill were, riding only a few paces behind us, I said, โ€œIโ€™ve beenโ€ฆcaught up in the scenery.โ€

โ€œThe scenery?โ€ he repeated. โ€œYouโ€™ve been engrossed in staring atโ€ฆ trees?โ€

My brow creased as I nodded. Tall pines crowded the road to Spessaโ€™s End, growing so close to one another, their branches stretched from tree to tree. Very little could be seen beyond them.

โ€œI had no idea you were so invested in the common evergreen.โ€

The corners of my lips turned down as I stiffened, pulling away from where Iโ€™d been leaning into Casteel. โ€œI would think youโ€™d be grateful that Iโ€™m quiet.โ€

โ€œWhy in the world would you think Iโ€™d be grateful for that?โ€

I sent him an arched brow over my shoulder. โ€œReally?โ€ I drawled in a low voice.

His eyes narrowed, and as I returned to staring at the snow-tipped pines, he nudged Setti forward. The large horse responded at once, drawing ahead of the group. โ€œWhatโ€™s really going on with you?โ€ he asked, his voice low.

โ€œI have no idea what youโ€™re talking about.โ€ I lifted my head at the flutter of wings. A bird, larger than Iโ€™d ever seen, took flight from the top of

one of the pines, soaring gracefully into the sky. The wingspan was enormous, at least several feet. โ€œGood gods, what kind of bird is that?โ€

โ€œI do believe itโ€™s a silver hawk. Theyโ€™re known to snatch small animals and even children if theyโ€™re hungry enough.โ€

My eyes widened. โ€œIโ€™d heard stories about birds that could pick up children, but I thought they were just tales.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m sure many things in these woods are the subject of such tales, but there is only one tale Iโ€™m interested in hearing.โ€ Using his arm around my waist to tug me back against him, his voice was just above my ear as he added, โ€œAnd that is why youโ€™re suddenly as quiet as a ghost.โ€

โ€œDo you need to hold me this tightly to ask that question?โ€ I snapped. He chuckled. โ€œThere she isโ€”my Princess.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ve been here this whole time, and Iโ€™m not your Princess.โ€ โ€œTechnically, youย areย my Princess, and no, you havenโ€™t been here the

whole time,โ€ he replied. โ€œThe Poppy I know isnโ€™t quiet and meek. At least not the one without the veil.โ€

I stared ahead mutinously as his observation struck too close to home for comfort.

โ€œAnd this Poppy, the one who says nothing, only showed up this morning,โ€ he went on. โ€œYou say itโ€™s not because you chose to be the one who ended that bastard Ascendedโ€™s life. I know you well enough to believe that.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know why you think you know me so well,โ€ I retorted, even though he did know more about me than anyone, including Vikter, Tawny, and my brother.

โ€œI know that you did what you felt was right and that is the end of that. Youโ€™re not one to wallow in your choices,โ€ he said, and heย wasย right. Ugh. โ€œYou said it wasnโ€™t because of last night, and Iโ€™m inclined to believe that to be the truth.โ€

โ€œIf I said I didnโ€™t care what you believe, would it make a difference and force you to be quiet?โ€

โ€œNo.โ€

I sighed.

โ€œIโ€™m a wagering sort of man, so Iโ€™m willing to bet it has everything to do with ourย understanding.โ€

Irritation flared hotly. Why did he have to be so observant? It was annoying.

โ€œSo, instead of telling me nothing is wrong, Iโ€™m hoping youโ€™ll be honest with me.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m hoping that hawk returns, and instead of snatching up poor helpless animals and children, it grabs you.โ€

Casteel laughed, the sound rumbling through me. I knew if I turned around, I would see the hint of fangs and those damn dimples. โ€œI fear that your hopes will go unanswered.โ€

โ€œAs per usual,โ€ I muttered.

He ignored that. โ€œIโ€™m not going to let this go, and you of all people should know that Iโ€™m persistent when I want something.โ€

A shiver curled down my spine, and the hand that had ended up between the folds of my cloak at some point during the journey, slid from my hip to my stomach. Swallowing hard, I ordered myself to think of anything that didnโ€™t involve his hand and how low it sat on my belly.

โ€œTalk to me, Poppy,โ€ he whispered near my ear as his fingers began to move. Every cell in my body seemed to focus on those digits. โ€œPlease?โ€

Please.

The soft request caught me off guard. It was so rare to hear that word pass his lips, even before his identity had been revealed. I gave a small shake of my head. โ€œIโ€ฆI donโ€™t know how to act.โ€

He angled his head so he could look at me. โ€œWhat do you mean?โ€

His fingers were still moving, tracing circles that swept above my navel and then below. My face felt hot, and I wasnโ€™t sure if it was due to embarrassment or the slow, lazy pace of his movements, which reminded me too much of those dark, early morning hours. โ€œI donโ€™t know how Iโ€™m supposed to behave in a way that will convince others that weโ€™reโ€ฆ together.โ€

His fingers halted for a heartbeat and then started moving once more. โ€œYou just need to be yourself, Poppy.โ€

That sounded easier said than done. โ€œBeing myself would likely mean arguing with you constantlyโ€”โ€

โ€œAnd threatening to stab me,โ€ he interjected. โ€œI know.โ€

โ€œHow is me threatening to stab you going to convince anyone that this engagement is real?โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll admit, that would lead the average person to believe there were no fond feelings between us, but no one would believe that I would choose a submissive Maiden over my brother. Theyโ€™d expect me to fall for someone

as fiery as she is kind, braveโ€ฆeven to a fault. Someone who pushes back.โ€ His fingers now moved up and down in a straight line, but for once, his words were far more distracting. โ€œTheyโ€™d expect someone like you, to be honest. Not the veiled Maiden. That is not who you are.โ€

Unsettled by what heโ€™d said, my grip tightened on the pommel. โ€œYouโ€™re right. Iโ€™m not the veiled Maiden. Not anymore, but Iโ€ฆโ€ My gaze lifted to the strip of gray sky. โ€œItโ€™s what Iโ€™m used to, I guess. Iโ€™m not used to this.โ€

โ€œI imagine youโ€™re not used to any of this, and I donโ€™t mean the whole being kidnapped part.โ€

A wry grin twisted my lips. โ€œAll of this is new. The lack of the veil and being allowed to speak whenever I want, to whomever I want. Or being able to use my abilities and not hide them. I canโ€™t even remember the last time I ate supper at a table with more than just one or two people. Iโ€™m not used to being in a room full of individuals, being the center of attention, yet somehow still invisible to them. Iโ€ฆโ€ I trailed off before I admitted what had found its way to the surface. I wasnโ€™t sure if even I knew who I was without the veil and all its limitations, because even though there were still rules, new ones to follow, this was unlike anything before. โ€œI guess what I was like as the Maidenโ€”โ€

โ€œWhat you were forced to be like as the Maiden,โ€ he corrected softly.

I nodded. โ€œI guess itโ€™s what Iโ€™m comfortable with when I donโ€™t know whatโ€™s expected of me. And silenceโ€”docilityโ€”was always expected.โ€

โ€œBut was it easy?โ€

The sweep of his fingers, drifting even lower, snagged my attention, sending a flash of molten heat through me and causing me to wonder if I had the foresight to set boundaries with this whole agreement. Surely, what he was doing with his hand wouldnโ€™t convince anyone of our relationship since it was hidden beneath the cloak.

โ€œPrincess?โ€ he murmured, his lips grazing my ear.

I exhaled shakily, hoping that what Kieran had said about Casteel and a wolvenโ€™s ability to scent desire was grossly exaggerated. โ€œIโ€ฆI often wanted to screamโ€”just scream for no good reason, in the middle of the Great Hall during the City Council meetings. I wouldโ€™ve loved to have screamed right in Priestess Analiaโ€™s face.โ€

He barked out a short, rough laugh. โ€œI wouldโ€™ve expected a far more violent desire when it came to that bitch. And I still donโ€™t use that word

often, yet I use it proudly when it comes to her.โ€

I grinned, feeling a savage joy at seeing the Priestessโ€™s eyes widen when Hawke had put her in her place. โ€œAnd Iโ€ฆI hated just standing there and listening to the Duke get upset because I didnโ€™t walk quietly enoughโ€”โ€

โ€œHe seriously lectured you about that?โ€

โ€œYes.โ€ I laughed, but there was nothing funny about any of this. โ€œHeโ€™d lecture me about anything. Find any reason for aย lesson. Not standing straight enough. Being too quiet. Not speaking quickly enough when spoken toโ€”when I was allowed to respond, which was everchanging. Iโ€ฆโ€ I shook my head. โ€œI wanted to scream in his faceโ€”no, thatโ€™s not true. I wanted to punch him. Often. With my fists.โ€ I paused. โ€œWith a dagger.โ€

Casteel was silent for a moment. โ€œHow did you deal with him? Thatโ€™s something I canโ€™t wrap my head around. Youโ€™re not weak. Youโ€™re not a pushover. Thatโ€™s inherently the opposite of who you are. How did you never push back?โ€

I stiffened, feeling shame creep in. โ€œI couldnโ€™t.โ€

โ€œI know that,โ€ he immediately reassured. โ€œI didnโ€™t mean to suggest that you could have. You were trapped. Just like I was, and if anyone thinks you should have, then they have never been in a position where they had to do anything to survive.โ€

I relaxed a little. โ€œI justโ€ฆyou know, it took a couple of times for me to learn how to disassociate from it. I would be there, but I would think of somethingโ€”anythingโ€”else. Sometimes, I thought about all the ways I would one day pay him back for every foul thing he did or said. Other times, I imagined training with Vikter. When it was too hard to focus, I just counted. I would count as high as I could.โ€

He seemed to have stopped breathing. โ€œIโ€™m glad I killed him.โ€

โ€œMe, too.โ€ I cleared my throat. โ€œAnyway, it wasnโ€™t always easy, but sometimes, it wasโ€ฆeasier to just do what they wanted, to be what they expected. I know that sounds terrible.โ€

โ€œMaybe to those whoโ€™ve never survived a cane to the skin for no reason.โ€ His voice had hardened. โ€œWe all do what we need to survive. I did countless things I never thought I would do,โ€ he admitted freely without an ounce of shame. And Iโ€ฆ

I envied that, but our situations were different. His was a matter of survival, life and death. Mine was not that. โ€œBut I think choosing the easier

path is why I ignored my suspicions about the Ascended, or at least, it helped to dismiss them.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t think you were alone in choosing that path. Iโ€™m sure many others in Solis have shared your suspicions, but it was easier to look past them, even if that meant suffering or sacrifice.โ€

I nodded. โ€œBecause the alternative would be the upending of everything you believe to be true. And not only that, it comes with the realization of the part you played. At least for me, it does. I was toted out to the people, put on display to remind everyone that the gods could choose anyoneโ€”that they too could be Blessed one day. And I always knew I wasnโ€™t Chosen,โ€ I whispered the last part, my chest heavy. โ€œBut I went along with it. And the whole time, they were stealing children to feed on. Taking good people and turning them into monsters. The easier choice I made too often didnโ€™t make me a part of the problem.โ€

Casteel said nothing, but his fingers still moved idly.

โ€œIt made me a part of the system that bound an entire kingdom in chains created of fear and false beliefs.โ€ I turned my cheek toward him. โ€œYou know thatโ€™s true.โ€

โ€œYes.โ€ His breath danced along the corner of my lips. โ€œIt is true.โ€ I lowered my gaze to the hardened soil of the road.

โ€œBut you know what else is true? Right now, you are destroying an intricate section of the system that has chained an entire kingdom for hundreds of years,โ€ he added. โ€œYou should never forget that you were once an accessory, but you also shouldnโ€™t forget what you are now a part of.โ€

I looked forward, at the narrow road ahead and the snow-heavy needles. โ€œBut does the present really make amends for the past?โ€

Casteel didnโ€™t answer immediately. โ€œWho is the judge of that? The gods? They sleep. Society? How can they make decisions unbiasedly when they are prejudiced by their own sins?โ€ he questioned, and I had no answer. โ€œLet me ask you this. Do you blame Vikter?โ€

I frowned. โ€œFor what?โ€

โ€œHe was like a father to you, Poppy. He had to know how much you struggled with the whole Maiden thing. Even if he didnโ€™t realize how much you struggled, he had to have seen it.โ€

The last conversation Iโ€™d had with Vikter, right before the attack at the Rite, had been about how I truly felt being the Maiden.

โ€œAnd he knew what the Duke was doing to you, didnโ€™t he? But he didnโ€™t stop it,โ€ he added quietly.

I craned my head to the side. โ€œWhat could he have done? If he spoke one word or intervened, he wouldโ€™ve been fired and ostracized, and that is a fate close to a death sentence. Or, he wouldโ€™ve been killed. And then I wouldnโ€™t have been trained. I never wouldโ€™ve learned how to defend myself. Vikter did everything he could,โ€ I defended vehemently. โ€œJust like my mother and father did the night they were killed.โ€

โ€œBut one could argue that the right thing wouldโ€™ve been to intervene. To stop the Duke from hurting you,โ€ he said. โ€œAnd I know Iโ€™m not one to talk about doing the right thing, but he couldโ€™ve chosen the more difficult path. Either way, you donโ€™t hold it against him. And if you did, youโ€™ve forgiven him, right?โ€

Heart aching, I faced forward. โ€œThere was nothing to forgive. But heโ€ฆ you heard what he said to me before he died.โ€

โ€œHe apologized for failing you,โ€ Casteel confirmed.

Tears burned the backs of my eyes. His last words ever spoken were brutal. I hadnโ€™t regretted what Iโ€™d said to him before the attack, but now? Now, I wished I hadnโ€™t spoken so freely. I would do anything for Vikter to have died feeling as if heโ€™d done right by me. And he had done just that to the best of his ability. He was the reason I could hold a sword and fire an arrow, fight with my hands and my mind.

โ€œI think Vikter knew that you never held his inaction against him, but whether or not he believed heโ€™d done all that he could was up to him,โ€ Casteel continued softly. โ€œI think it comes down to whether you can make amends with yourself.โ€

I saw the point he was making, but I didnโ€™t know if anything I did from this moment on would be enough to erase being a silent party to the Ascended.

โ€œIn the meantime, while you try to figure out if you can make amends with yourself, it helps to find someone to blame. And in your caseโ€”and Vikterโ€™sโ€”blame can be shared.โ€

โ€œWith the Ascended?โ€ I surmised. โ€œDo you not agree?โ€

The Ascended created the system Vikter and I and everyone else became a part of, unintentionally reinforced, and ultimately became victims of in different ways. My mother hadnโ€™t been able to defend herself or me

because of the limitations the Ascended placed upon women. Families handed over their children to the Court or to the Temples because the Ascended taught them it was the only way to appease the gods and then used the very monsters they created to reinforce those fears. Mr. Tulis made the choice to shove a knife deep inside me, but the kingdom the Ascended created was what drove him to that. Vikter could never speak against the Duke without repercussions that wouldโ€™ve either had him removed from my life completely or ended his. And Iโ€ฆ

I had my freedom stripped from me and was kept so sheltered that I could turn to no one with my suspicions. And the Queen, she who cared for me so tenderly, was the foundation of that system. There was no denying that. Nor was there any denying that the system would only strengthen and grow unless access to the Atlantians was cut off. Even without the ability to make more Ascended, they would still be strong if they remained in control. If Casteelโ€™s father did not go to war against them.

But war was never one-sided. Casualties always piled up on both sides, and the losses were always the greatest among the most innocent. Many of those who would be free if Atlantia went to war with Solis would die before they even realized how much theyโ€™d been chained.

โ€œYes. They are to blame,โ€ I said finally, raggedly. I had no idea how we strayed so far off topic. Brushing a stray piece of hair back from my face, I cleared my throat. โ€œSo, there is your answer to why Iโ€™ve been quiet. If Iโ€™d known that insulting and threatening you would convince others of our agreement, I wouldโ€™ve pulled a knife on you this morning in the banquet hall.โ€

โ€œWell, I wouldnโ€™t go that far,โ€ he said, squeezing me. โ€œBut if I may make a suggestion? I would stop calling our engagement an agreement or understanding. That sounds entirely too business-like. As if weโ€™re discussing the trade of milk cows.โ€

โ€œBut isnโ€™t that what this is?โ€

โ€œI would say that what we have is a very intimate agreement. So, no.โ€ โ€œWhat we have is simply an impersonal agreement and nothing more.โ€ โ€œImpersonal? Is that so?โ€ His hand drifted lower, over the flap of

buttons on my pants.

My breath hitched. โ€œYes.โ€ โ€œTruly?โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ I hissed.

โ€œInteresting. It didnโ€™t seem impersonal last night,โ€ he murmured, and then caught the lobe of my ear between his teeth. I gasped, my eyes wide as the little nip set fire to my blood. Slowly freeing the sensitive flesh, he chuckled as his lips touched the space behind my ear, and then I felt the indecent thrill of his sharp teeth dragging over the skin of my throat.

For a moment, all thoughts scattered. My boiling blood roared in my ears, through my body, tightening my breasts and settling between my legs, where his fingers ventured dangerously close. They made those tiny circles that tugged at the seam of my pants, rubbing it against my very center. My back arched without thought, and a hidden, reckless part of me wished I could will those fingers lowerโ€”

โ€œAnd now?โ€ he repeated. โ€œSure doesnโ€™t feel impersonal.โ€

I reacted without thought, slamming my elbow into his stomach.

Casteel grunted out a curse.

โ€œPlease donโ€™t fight atop the horse,โ€ Delano called out from somewhere behind us. โ€œNone of us wish to watch Setti trample either of you.โ€

โ€œSpeak for yourself,โ€ came Kieranโ€™s droll voice.

Casteel straightened behind me. โ€œDonโ€™t worry. Neither of us will fall.

It was just a love tap.โ€

โ€œThat did not look like a love tap,โ€ Naill commented.

โ€œThatโ€™s because it was a very passionate one,โ€ Casteel replied.

โ€œYouโ€™re about to get a love tap to your face,โ€ I muttered under my breath.

Casteel curled his arm more firmly around my waist as he laughed. โ€œThereโ€™s the vicious little creature. I missed her.โ€

โ€œWhatever,โ€ I grumbled.

He leaned into me, lowering his voice once more. โ€œBack to the original subject at hand, ourย engagementย is far more believable when youโ€™re hitting me than when youโ€™re standing by quietly.โ€

My brows snapped together. โ€œThat sounds like a very dysfunctionalโ€ฆ engagement.โ€

โ€œYou canโ€™t spell dysfunctional without fun, now can you?โ€ โ€œThatโ€ฆI donโ€™t even know what to say to that.โ€

โ€œMy point is that you just need to be yourself, Princess. Couples argue.

They fight. Most donโ€™t go around stabbing or punching the otherโ€”โ€ โ€œMost donโ€™t start off being lied to or kidnapped,โ€ I interrupted.

โ€œTrue, which has led to the stabbing and punching, but people who are in love enough to marryโ€”the ones that people know are together before they even realize itโ€”never consist of just one person, one personality, or one will. They fight. They argue. They disagree. They make up. They talk. They agree. The one thing they never are is perfect.โ€

โ€œAre you telling me that the key is for us to fight and make up?โ€ I asked, because there was no way anyone could look at us, see the way we behaved toward each other, and think we were madly in love. They probably thought we were insane.

โ€œWhat Iโ€™m telling you is that there is no one way anyone behaves in a relationship. There isnโ€™t a textbook of things to do or how to behave with the exception of the stabbing. I take back my fun in dysfunctional statement.โ€

โ€œThank the gods.โ€

โ€œI just want to make sure you understand that, so when youโ€™re free and if you decide to leaveโ€”โ€

โ€œIf? You mean when I leave?โ€

โ€œYes. My apologies,โ€ he demurred. โ€œWhenย you leave and go out into the world and find yourself a mate who has never liedโ€”โ€

โ€œOr kidnapped me?โ€

โ€œOr kidnapped you, there should be no stabbing or punching. Only kisses and promises upheld until dying breaths and beyond,โ€ he said. โ€œThat is what you deserve from who you choose to love.โ€

I didnโ€™t know what to make of thatโ€”of him speaking of meโ€ฆme loving someone elseโ€”loving someone for real. Acid pooled in my stomach. โ€œThe thing is, you wonโ€™t mess up if you get mad. You wonโ€™t do the wrong thing. Each couple is different. Some spend their time whispering sweet words in each otherโ€™s ears. Some spend the time baiting one another. Both enjoying being the tiger in the cat and mouse chase. That is us,โ€ he said. โ€œOr who we appear to others. This wonโ€™t be hard. Not with the passion between us, and before you try to lie and say there is none, just know that it

would provoke me into proving Iโ€™m right.โ€

The last thing I needed was for him to prove that he was right. There was passion between us, whether it was right or wrong, and I supposed it would be far harder to do this if we couldnโ€™t physically bear one anotherโ€™s touch.

And what he said made too much sense. Not the nonsense about us both being the cat in the cat and mouse chase, which made no sense whatsoever. However, the part about there being no textbook to follow, no guidelines did make sense. So much so, it felt like something I shouldโ€™ve known.

โ€œYou probably think Iโ€™m foolish for not knowingโ€”โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t think youโ€™re foolish. I never haveโ€”well, I take that back. I thought you were pretty foolish when you tried to escape,โ€ he said, and my eyes rolled. โ€œYouโ€™ve never been in a relationship, and you really havenโ€™t been around many normal ones, so I understand why you wouldnโ€™t be sure how to act. And itโ€™s not like this is a normal situation.โ€

Feeling a little better, I relaxed some. โ€œAnd youโ€™ve been in a relationship. I mean, you said youโ€™ve been in love before.โ€

โ€œI have.โ€

I watched the snow slip from branches as we passed, thinking of Alastirโ€™s daughter. Shea. That was such a beautiful name, and maybe since Casteel had shared things with me before, he would be willing to talk about her. โ€œWhatโ€ฆwhat happened?โ€

His fingers stilled and he was quiet for so long that I didnโ€™t think heโ€™d answer, which made me all the more curious. But then he spoke. โ€œSheโ€™s gone.โ€

Even though I already knew that, I felt a piercing ache in my heart, and I opened myself to him without giving it much thought. The moment I connected with him, I was hit by a wave of anguish so potent that it almost shielded the thread of anger underneath. Iโ€™d been right. Casteelโ€™s pain and sadness wasnโ€™t just for his brother. It was also for this faceless woman.

I thought about what Casteel had told me the night of the Rite, before the attack. Heโ€™d taken me to the willow in the gardens, and heโ€™d told me about a place he used to go with his brother and his best friend. A cavern they had turned into their own private world. Heโ€™d said that heโ€™d lost his brother and then his best friend a few years later. Could that best friend have been Shea, this woman he loved?

But his painโ€ฆ

Before I even knew what I was doing, Iโ€™d let go of the saddle and started to remove my gloveโ€”

โ€œDonโ€™t,โ€ he warned softly, and my hands froze. โ€œI appreciate the gesture, but I donโ€™t need you to take away my pain, nor do I want that.โ€

Still connected to him, I couldnโ€™t imagine how that was possible. The agony that waited beneath the smirks and the teasing glancesโ€”under all his masksโ€”was nearly unbearable. It threatened to drag me to the frozen ground. Being trampled by Setti was almost preferable to what festered from the wounds that couldnโ€™t be seen. โ€œWhy wouldnโ€™t you want that?โ€

โ€œBecause the pain is a reminder and a warning. One I plan to never forget.โ€

I severed the connection as nausea threatened to creep up my throat. โ€œDid sheโ€ฆdid she die because of the Ascended?โ€

โ€œEverything that has rotted in my life has been tied to the Ascended,โ€ he said, his hand returning to my hip.

โ€œIโ€™m tied to the Ascended,โ€ I said before I could stop myself, before I could ignore the strange stinging.

Casteel didnโ€™t respond. He didnโ€™t say anything. Seconds ticked by and turned into minutes, and it felt as if there was a band tightening around my chest.

Staring straight ahead, I spent the next however many hours wondering how he could stand to even be near meโ€”be close to someone tied to the Ascended as I was. They took his brother. They took the person he loved. They took his freedom. What else could they take from him?

His life?

A chill swept over my skin as I sat straight, my hands clutching the saddle. The idea of Casteel dying, of him no longer being there with those frustrating smirks and teasing glances, his quick-witted replies, and those damn, infuriating dimples? I couldnโ€™t even consider it. He was too vivid, too bright to think of him no longer being there.

But he would be gone one day. When this was all over and we parted ways, he would be gone from my life. That was what I wantedโ€”what I planned.

Then why did I suddenly feel like crying?

 

 

We camped out near the road, several hours after the sun had set. It was cold, but not nearly as cold as it had been in the Blood Forest. Casteel hadnโ€™t spoken much beyond offering me food or asking if I needed a break,

but as I lay there in the middle of the starless night, he returned to my side, stretching out behind me. I woke in his arms.

The next three days were just like that.

Casteel barely spoke. Whatever he felt, and I didnโ€™t open myself up to him to truly know, was a shadow colder than the nights. So many times, I wanted to askโ€”I wanted to tell him that I knew about Shea. That I was sorry heโ€™d lost her. I wanted to ask questions about herโ€”about them. I wanted him to do what Alastir had said he hadnโ€™t. I wanted him to talk, because I knew his silence fed his anguish. I said nothing, though, telling myself it wasnโ€™t my place. That the less I knew, the better.

But he came to my side in the night, and he was there when a nightmare found me, waking me before I could give sound to the screams building inside me. He held me in silence, his hand stroking my back until I fell back to sleep.

The nightmaresโ€ฆthey were different. Patchy, as if I were popping in and out of them instead of following the events of the night as before. They didnโ€™t make any sense to me, either. Not the wounds on my mother, not the screams or the choking smoke. Not that creepy voice whispering about bleeding poppies. It was like the nightmares werenโ€™t real anymore.

That was what I was thinking about as we saddled the horses and traveled the road to Spessaโ€™s End on the fourth day. I had no idea how much time had passed when I saw something in the trees to my left. I couldnโ€™t make out what it was, and just when I thought I was seeing things, I saw it again, several trees down the road.

It hung from a limb stripped of pine needles and bare of snow. A rope shaped into some kind of symbolโ€”a circle. I twisted in my seat, but I couldnโ€™t find where it had been in the mass of trees. The arm around my waist tightened, the first reaction from Casteel in days. I could feel the tension in his arm as I scanned the woods.

The shape tugged at the recesses of my memory. It looked like something Iโ€™d seen before. To the right, I saw it againโ€”a brown rope hanging from another bare limb, fashioned almost like a noose, but with a stick or something crossing through the center.

Iโ€™d seen something similar in the Blood Forest. Except it had been created out of rocks and had reminded me of the Royal Crest. But now that I could see this one more clearly, I realized it was onlyย likeย the Crest.

It wasnโ€™t a straight line like an arrow, situated at a slant, but one that was slanted in the opposite direction. And thatโ€ฆthat wasnโ€™t a stick bound to the rope. It was too ashen in color, the ends knobby.

Oh, gods.

It was aย bone.

Setti slowed, and Casteelโ€™s arm slid away from me.

Slowly, I lifted my gaze, and trepidation took hold. There were dozens of them hanging amongst the trees, all different, at dizzying heights.

โ€œCasteel?โ€ I said quietly. โ€œDo you see whatโ€™s in the trees?โ€ โ€œYes.โ€

โ€œI saw the same shapes in the Blood Forest.โ€ โ€œCas,โ€ Kieranโ€™s voice was low, barely audible.

โ€œI know,โ€ he answered, and I heard a quiet snap of a clasp. When his arm came back around me, he held the strange bow in my lap. As close as it was, I could see that the nocked arrow was thicker than normal, and although Iโ€™d seen the kind of damage the bolt could do, it was still somehow unfathomable.

I stared at the bow and the bloodstone arrow. โ€œIs it Craven?โ€ I asked, having seen the rocks right before they arrived. I looked down, seeing no mist.

โ€œI donโ€™t think Craven have started to decorate trees with craft projects, Princess,โ€ he said, and my heart gave a stupid little leap. It was the first time heโ€™d called me that in days. He shifted the handle of the bow into my hand. โ€œThe lovely decorations are courtesy of the Dead Bones Clan.โ€

โ€œThe what?โ€ I turned my head toward his.

โ€œThey used to live all across Solis, especially where the Blood Forest is now, but theyโ€™ve since relocated to these woods and hills over the past several decades.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ve never heard of them.โ€

โ€œThere are a lot of things the Ascended donโ€™t share with the people of Solis. Like the fact that there are people who live and survive outside the protection of the Rise.โ€

โ€œHow?โ€ I demanded. Many of the villages outfitted with smaller Rises were often overrun by Craven.

โ€œThey survive by any means necessary. For this clan, one of those means is by slaughtering anyone they view as a threat. Supposedly, they eat who they kill and will often use the flesh for masks and the bonesโ€”well,

you already saw what they like to do with the bones. You know what they sayโ€”waste not, want not.โ€

My mouth dropped open. โ€œIโ€ฆโ€

โ€œYeah, Princess, there really arenโ€™t any words. We try to avoid them when we pass through here. Normally, we donโ€™t have any problems. But in case we do.โ€ He folded a hand over mine. โ€œFeel this metal piece? Itโ€™s the trigger. You aim this bow just like you would a normal one, but instead of pulling the string back, you press on this, and it fires the arrow.โ€

I had so many questions, but I curled my fingers around the wooden handle, getting a feel for its weight. Instinct told me that the important thing was to focus on his instructions. โ€œOkay.โ€

โ€œThe arrow is nocked the same, except itโ€™s held in place. All you need to do is aim and pull the trigger. Bloodstone bolts will also kill mortals,โ€ he instructed. โ€œYou know what to do if we have any problems with these people. Stay alive.โ€

I started to respond, but Kieran shouted. No more than a second later, Casteel jerked me back against him. The handle of the bow pressed into my stomach as something whizzed mere inches from my face. My head jerked to the right as a branch on the other side of the road snapped in two, taken down byโ€”

โ€œIn the trees!โ€ Naill shouted. โ€œTo the left!โ€

Casteel wheeled Setti, guiding the powerful horse around so that I was facing to the right. He shifted in the saddle, his body pressing mine down as flat as I could goโ€”

There was another shot, and then Casteel was gone from Settiโ€™s back, driven to the ground.

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