โCause of death was strangulation.โ
Iโm hovering over Laceyโs body, the pallor of her face an icy blue. The coroner stands to my left, clutching a clipboard; to my right, Detective Thomas hovers too close. I donโt know what to say, so I say nothing, my eyes flickering over the girl that I had just barely known. The girl who had wandered into my office one week ago and told me about her problems. Her problems that she had trusted me to solve.
โYou can tell by the bruising, just there,โ the coroner continues, pointing to her neck with a pen. โYou can see the finger marks. Same size and spacing as the ones found on Aubrey. Same ligature marks on the wrists and ankles, too.โ
I glance at the coroner and swallow.
โSo, youโre thinking theyโre related, then? Itโs the same guy?โ
โThatโs a conversation for another time,โ Detective Thomas interrupts. โRight now, weโre focusing on Lacey. Like I said, she was found in the alley behind your office. You ever go back there?โ
โNo,โ I say, staring down at the body before me. Her blonde hair is wet from the rain, sticking to her face like a web of spider veins. Her pale skin is even paler now, somehow, making her collection of scars even more visible, those thin, red slits checkered across her arms and chest and legs. โNo, I rarely go back there. Itโs really just for the garbage trucks to empty the dumpster. Everyone parks out front.โ
He nods, exhaling loudly. We stand in silence for a minute as he allows me to take it all in, to process the grisly sight before me. I realize, in this moment, that although Iโve been surrounded by death my entire life, this is the first time Iโve ever actually seen a dead body. The first time Iโve actually looked one in the eye. I imagine Iโm supposed to be remembering right nowโremembering La-ceyโs face, the way it looked in my office that afternoon, the way it looked before thisโbut my mind is a blank slate. I canโt conjure up any images of Lacey with pink skin and twitchy fingers
and tears welling in her eyes as she sits in my leather recliner, talking about her dad. All I can see is this Lacey. Dead Lacey. Lacey on a medical table being poked at by strangers.
โDoes anything look different to you?โ he asks finally, nudging me along. โMissing any clothes?โ
โI really canโt say,โ I respond, scanning her body. Sheโs wearing a black T-shirt and faded jean shorts, dirty Converse sneakers with doodles on the sides. I try to imagine her drawing on her shoes in school, bored, passing the time with a ballpoint pen. But I canโt. โLike I said, I wasnโt really paying attention to what she was wearing.โ
โOkay,โ he says. โItโs okay. Just keep trying. Take your time.โ
I nod, wondering if this is what Lena looked like a week after her life was taken. As she lay in a field or in a shallow grave somewhere. Before her skin peeled off and her clothes disintegrated, I wonder if she looked like this. Like Lacey. Pale and bloated from the hot, humid air.
โShe talk to you about that?โ
Detective Thomas nudges his head toward her arms, toward the tiny cuts in her skin. I nod.
โA little bit.โ
โHow about that?โ
He glances at the larger scar on her wrist, that thick, fleshy purple lightning bolt I had spotted days before.
โNo,โ I say, shaking my head. โNo, we didnโt get to that.โ
โFucking shame,โ he says quietly. โShe was too young to feel pain like that.โ
โYeah,โ I nod. โYeah, she was.โ
The room is quiet for a minute, all three of us taking a moment of silence to mourn not only the violence of this girlโs death, but of her life, too.
โDidnโt you check the alley before?โ I ask. โI mean, back when she was first reported missing?โ
Detective Thomas looks at me, and I see anger flash across his face. The fact that the body of this girl was found mere feet from the place she
was last seen and it took almost a week to find her doesnโt look good, and he knows it.
โYeah,โ he says at last, sighing loudly. โYeah, we did. Either she was somehow missed, or she was placed there later. Killed in another location and moved.โ
โItโs a pretty small area,โ I say. โNarrow. The dumpster takes up most of the space. If you checked back there, I canโt imagine you would have missed her. There arenโt many places to hideโโ
โHow do you know all this if you rarely go back there?โ
โI can see it from my lobby.โ I say. โMy window points in that direction.โ
He stares at me for a second, and I can tell heโs trying to make an assessment, determine if heโs just caught me in a lie.
โI obviously donโt have the best view,โ I add, trying to smile.
He nods, either satisfied with my answer or filing it away to revisit at another time.
โThatโs who found her,โ he says at last. โThe garbagemen. She was wedged behind the dumpster. When they lifted it up to empty it, they saw her body fall out.โ
โThen she was definitely moved,โ the coroner interrupts, tapping the backs of her arms. โThat right there is livor mortis. The pooling indicates that she died on her back, not in a seated position. Orย wedgedย anywhere.โ
A wave of nausea rolls through my stomach, and I try to stop my eyes from scanning her body again, evaluating her wounds, but I canโt. Sheโs bruised, mostly, her pale skin looking marbled in places where I now know gravity forced the blood to settle. The coroner had mentioned ligature marks, and my eyes trace the length of her limbs, from her shoulders down to her fingertips.
โWhat else do you know?โ I ask.
โShe was drugged,โ the coroner says. โWe found heavy traces of Diazepam in her hair.โ
โDiazepam. Thatโs Valium, right?โ Detective Thomas asks. I nod. โWas Lacey on medication for anxiety? Depression?โ
โNo.โ I shake my head. โNo, I had prescribed her some. But she wasnโt taking anything yet.โ
โThe growth level suggests the drugs were ingested about one week ago,โ the coroner adds. โSo, at the time of her murder.โ
Detective Thomas glances at the coroner after this new revelation, and I feel a sudden impatience reverberate through the room.
โHow soon can you have the full autopsy?โ The man looks at the detective, then at me.
โThe sooner I can get started, the sooner I can have it for you.โ
I feel both men glance over at me, a nonverbal cue that Iโve been less than helpful. But my eyes are still glued to Laceyโs arm. To the tiny cuts littering her skin, to the ligature marks on her wrist and the jagged purple scar stretching across her veins.
โWell, no offense, Doctor Davis, but I really didnโt bring you here for small talk,โ Detective Thomas says. โIf thereโs nothing else that you can remember, youโre free to go.โ
I shake my head, my eyes boring into her wrist.
โNo, I remembered something,โ I say, tracing the path her razor must have taken to make such a crooked mark. It must have been messy. โSomething about Lacey that day. Something thatโs different.โ
โOkay,โ he says, shifting his weight. He eyes me carefully. โLetโs hear
it.โ
โHer scar,โ I say. โI noticed her scar on Friday. I noticed she was
trying to cover it up with a bracelet. Wooden beads with a little silver cross on it.โ
The detective looks down at her arm now, her wrist bare. I remember that rosary dangling there, in front of her veins, maybe a reminder for the next time she felt the urge to cut into her skin. It was definitely there, on her wrist, when she was sitting in my office that afternoon, fidgeting in my leather recliner. And it was there when she got up and left, when she was grabbed outside my front door. When she was drugged, when she was killed.
But now itโs not.
โSomeone took it.โ