At once, the façade of my blank canvas began to crack.
My gaze swiveled from the Primal to Ione as I rose from the divan. Good gods, how could I have forgotten about Taric and not think about there being another god like him? One who could see right into my mind—and my memories.
Foolishly, I hadn’t prepared for this, and there was no time to do so now.
Dread took root, dampening my palms as the reality of the situation hit me with the force of an out-of-control carriage. This was bad, really bad.
“It will not take very long,” Kolis explained, that fabricated smile plastered across his face. “Ione will be quick and efficient.”
Pressure clamped down on my chest. Not only was I mere moments from Kolis discovering way too quickly that I was manipulating him, I also clearly remembered how painful it had been when Taric flipped through my
memories as casually as Callum had turned the pages of his book. “Sit down,” Kolis instructed, “so we can be done with this.”
I didn’t move. Outside the cage, Callum’s smile grew even wider. That bastard knew what was about to happen. Whether it was just his distrust of me or something else, I had no idea, but he looked like he was about to
witness all his dreams coming true.
The weight of the burgeoning fear was suffocating, threatening to crush me. My stomach twisted as the consequences of my lies being exposed loomed before me like a curse. I wouldn’t gain Ash’s freedom, and if Ione saw anything having to do with Sotoria’s soul and how I wasn’t truly her? I was as good as dead.
“Sit,” Kolis snapped, his patience already running thin.
I felt Sotoria then, near my thundering heart. I felt her fear and anger, and it joined mine, forming a combustible mix. The embers started to thrum.
“You seem…nervous,” Kolis remarked, his features stoic but his fingers curled inward.
I most definitely was.
The gold flecks in his eyes had stilled. “Why is that?”
My pulse pounded, and my mouth dried. Think, Sera. Think. “I am
afraid,” I admitted, my thoughts racing. I could only come up with one thing to say. “A god did this to me before, and it hurt.”
Kolis’s forehead creased as he eyed me.
“Taric,” Callum surmised, his lips pursing as he walked the length of the cage. “Well, I suppose we now know for sure what happened to him when we last learned he was somewhere near or in the Shadowlands.”
Kolis’s mouth tightened. “Taric found you?”
“It wasn’t just him. Cressa and another called Madis were with him,” I said, hoping this delay would allow me to come up with something else to say. “Why did you…?” I glanced at Ione, unsure how much she knew, and then deciding it wasn’t my problem if she wasn’t supposed to know. “Why
did you have him searching for the embers if you already knew where they were?”
“Because I didn’t have him searching for them. Obviously,” Kolis said in a slow, deliberate drawl as if explaining a complex idea to a child. “He was supposed to be searching for my graeca.”
His love.
I wasn’t the only one who’d assumed Taric and the others had been searching for that. Even Veses had.
“Did the others feed from you?” Kolis asked.
I shook my head. “No, it was only him. I…I didn’t know yet about who I was, but he seemed to already know it was me when he looked at me. I didn’t think he needed to feed. He just wanted to.”
A muscle twitched in the Primal’s jaw. “So, he fed from you but did not tell either you or Nyktos what he saw?”
“He really didn’t get the chance,” I told him.
Ione raised a brow as she continued staring at the floor.
Kolis’s chin lifted. “Well, we will see if that is true, won’t we?” My heart lurched, and I swung my head toward Ione.
“It does not need to be painful,” she said, looking up. “Though it is not
entirely comfortable. You will be tired afterward and perhaps have a headache, but it should not feel like any unimaginable pain.”
Yeah, well, the problem wasn’t the pain. I could deal with that. Still, I latched on to the excuse. “I can’t go through that again. It was horrible.” A tremor coursed down my spine, and it was more genuine than forced. “I won’t—”
“Seraphena.”
I locked up at Kolis’s whisper. Or had he yelled? I couldn’t be sure.
Whatever it was, his voice felt like it was everywhere.
Oh, gods.
A compulsion. He was using compulsion again.
“Look at me,” he coaxed, his tone soft and lilting yet heavy and laden with power.
His voice washed over me like a rising tide, seeping through my skin—
No.
My fingers twitched.
No. No.
The muscles in my neck spasmed as I fought, and the embers hummed wildly in my chest. If he gained control, there’d be nothing I could do.
Nothing. No. No—
“Seraphena.” Kolis was suddenly in front of me, his fingers on my chin.
I jerked back, starting to close my eyes. I could fight this, couldn’t I? I had Primal embers in me. I could fight this with…with—
“Look at me,” Kolis demanded, and a wave of power hit me hard. “Now.”
I tried…gods, I tried to resist. My muscles spasmed painfully. Air punched out of my lungs, and my eyes lifted past his mouth. His nostrils were flared with irritation. My gaze locked on his, and I felt it then, the compulsion seeping into my muscles, relaxing them. His power wrapped around my mind. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t.
I could do nothing but obey.
Golden flecks whirled in his eyes, slipping under and over the wisps of silvery eather. “You will sit, and you will not attempt to fight Ione. Do you understand?”
My lips moved, forming one word. “Yes.”
“That’s a good girl,” he murmured, running his thumb beneath my bottom lip, avoiding the healing skin there as I…
I stood still, unable to even shudder. “Sit,” he repeated.
Like a puppet, I sat.
Kolis turned to the goddess. “Do what needs to be done.” He was silent as Ione moved closer. “And do it as quickly as possible.” He glanced at me and then away. “I do not want her to feel any unnecessary pain.”
He said as much now, but that would soon change.
“Of course, Your Majesty.” Ione knelt before me. Dark eyes lit with eather met mine. “You seem to be aware of this, but to be clear, I will need to take your blood.”
I did know that. I fucking remembered that part clearly.
Ione blinked, seeming to remember only then that I could not respond.
She picked up my right hand, her touch cool. She halted, her brows lifting as her gaze flew to mine.
“Is there a problem?” Kolis demanded from where he lingered a foot—if that—behind the goddess.
Ione cleared her throat. “No.” “Then get on with it.”
She hunched her shoulders and carefully lowered my right hand to my lap and lifted my left. I thought that was strange, but I couldn’t really focus on that. My mind filled with what was to come. Would I have to react? To summon the embers and at least attempt to get free? I didn’t know.
Ione’s warm breath against the inside of my wrist was my only warning. A second later, the sharp tips of her fangs pierced my skin. I jerked, not even the compulsion able to prevent that.
The burning sting traveled up my arm, causing every muscle in my body to clench. Ione drew deeply on the wound, and that sting hit my neck. I wanted to tear my arm free from her light grasp, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t—
Then I felt it.
A scratching like fingers against my mind, slowly sinking in instead of digging in with claws like Taric had done. The tendons in my neck cramped, and I felt my mind open.
Ione was inside me, in my mind, slipping in easily. It wasn’t painless as she delved into my thoughts and memories. The supper I’d eaten was peeled
back, revealing the dreamless sleep, the conversation with Kolis, and my lies
—all my lies. She kept searching. Images of a sky full of stars but no moon flashed, then small waves crashing beneath the House of Haides. Those quickly blended into others. I saw the woods and heard myself telling Ash that I loved him. The flashes came in rapid succession as Ione saw what I’d seen. Heard what I’d said. She saw the truths. All of them. She saw the lies, too. Sweat broke out on my brow. A tremor rolled through me as sharp, stabbing pain shot through my head and ran down my spine.
I felt myself shaking on the inside, tears filling my eyes as the ebbing agony became a fire. My skin felt like it stretched, thinned. My vision blurred.
Not as painful? Ione had lied. I felt like I was burning from the inside, and there was no retreat. Nowhere to hide. Pressure built in my skull, sparking a fiery pain that settled there and took root. I shook, and a metallic taste gathered in my mouth.
Oh, gods, could Ash feel this, even in stasis? I didn’t want him to be aware and unable to do anything.
I couldn’t allow that. I wouldn’t.
The embers swelled beneath the pain, and I latched on to them. Stop. I focused on Ione, forcing her features to clear. Stop, I screamed as I…pushed. I pushed with my mind.
The goddess’s head snapped back. There was a brief glimpse of wide, dark eyes, and then she was skidding backward on her knees across the
shadowstone. She caught herself before she hit the cage bars, her chin jerking
up. Blood trickled from the corner of her lip.
“Well.” Callum sighed from outside the cage as I slumped forward, breathing raggedly. “That was inappropriate.”
Trembling, I smacked my hand over the bite as my muscles twitched and contracted, over and over. The fire was slow to leave, just as before.
“What did you see?” Kolis demanded, his voice close. Too close.
“Much,” Ione rasped, rising unsteadily to her feet. I tried to push through the lingering agony. “The embers in her are powerful.”
“I already know that,” Kolis stated. “Is she my graeca?”
My neck felt weak and loose as I lifted my head and saw Callum’s eager face. I called on the embers, and they fluttered much like my heart.
Godsdamnit, I didn’t have time for them to weaken on me. I would have seconds, if that—”
“She carries the soul of the one called Sotoria,” Ione answered, smoothly wiping the trickle of blood from her chin. “She is her.”
I froze.
Everything froze.
Even Callum’s stupid face. “Truly?” whispered Kolis.
“Yes.” Ione nodded, clasping her hands together. “It is her.” But that…that wasn’t true. And Ione knew it.
Callum pushed back from the cage, his head swaying to and fro.
“And does she…does she love Nyktos?” Kolis’s voice faltered and then steadied. “Is she in love with him?”
“She cares for him,” Ione answered, her eyes locked on mine. “But she
has never truly loved…nor been loved in return.” Ione broke eye contact and turned from me. “She wants to, though. She will do anything for that.”
My gods, the goddess was truly lying about everything. Well, except for that last part. I did want to be loved by Ash, and I would do anything for that. But the rest? Straight-up lies.
Stunned, I watched her walk to the table. While she filled a slender glass with the bubbly water, I tried to wrap my head around the fact that this
stranger had just saved my life.
“It’s really you.” Kolis’s voice was a gruff whisper, tearing me from my thoughts.
My gaze shot to the Primal. He looked at me as he had when I’d first said I was her, when he likely heard her voice in mine. I realized then that it was
the only time I’d seen him show any real emotion beyond anger. Everything else had been a reproduction. A copy of what he’d seen in others. But like then, his features came alive with a tangible sense of wonderment, his eyes widening with awe.
“I didn’t…” Kolis trailed off, not allowing himself to finish whatever it was he had been about to say.
The pain was almost gone from my head, but my body tensed with each passing second that Kolis’s stifling stare remained on me. It was clear to me that he hadn’t been a hundred percent convinced.
Now, he was.
It was yet another thing I should feel relief about—and I did. But his stare… I shifted, suddenly wishing I could put a whole realm’s-worth of distance between us.
“This has to be some sort of lie,” Callum said, sounding almost spooked.
“I do not lie,” Ione cut in, the eather pulsing in her eyes, turning them from night to day. “I have no reason to.”
Oh, but she most definitely did. I couldn’t know for sure why the goddess had done it, but I could only assume that, like the Primal she served, she was not a Kolis loyalist.
Even so, this was a huge risk for her. More so than it was for Attes. Ione had just lied straight to Kolis’s face about Sotoria, running the risk of another god coming in, reading my memories, and contradicting her.
Unless Ione and Taric were truly unique and the last of those who could do that.
“But she does not look like Sotoria,” Callum argued.
Two things occurred to me at once. The Revenant had just confirmed part of what Attes had claimed. That if I truly were Sotoria, I would look like her. But, more importantly, Callum must have known Sotoria.
“That means nothing,” Ione stated, and I had a feeling the goddess was lying again. “The rebirth of a soul is not common enough to know exactly how it will appear.”
My mind raced as the two argued. The first time Sotoria had died…gods, it had been hundreds of years ago, if not close to a thousand, back when Kolis ruled as the true Primal of Death, and his brother the Primal of Life. So exactly how old was Callum? Had Kolis created Callum even before he stole the embers from Eythos?
Or had Callum known her decades later, after she’d been ripped away from the peace of the Vale and brought back to life—after Kolis stole the
embers and brought her back? No one knew exactly how long she had lived that second life. But still, even that was hundreds of years ago.
Callum was clearly old, and Kolis could have been able to create Revenants before he stole the Primal embers of life.
“You should drink.” Ione offered the glass to me. “It will help settle your mind.”
Hand trembling slightly, I reached out and took the glass from her. Our
eyes met. “Thank you,” I said, hoping she knew it wasn’t just the water I was thanking her for.
A faint smile appeared on her thin lips, softening her sharper features. “You’re welcome.”
I took a sip of the fruity water and then gulped as Ione turned back to Kolis. His hands continuously opened and closed at his sides.
“I am happy that you have found your graeca,” Ione stated, and I nearly choked on my water, my eyes and throat burning. “You must be overjoyed.”
“I…I am,” Kolis murmured.
I thought maybe he should sit down since he appeared as if he were close to falling over.
“Is there anything else you need of me, Your Majesty?” Ione asked.
“No.” His hands stilled. “Your assistance is appreciated and won’t be forgotten.”
Ione nodded as she stepped back, bowing to Kolis before facing me. She smiled, the eather now a faint pulse behind her pupils. It was quick. I saw it. Kolis didn’t. His attention was fixed on me. I could feel it, like I was being suffocated in a too-heavy, coarse blanket.
“Good day, Consort.” Ione inclined her head. I mumbled something in response.
“Ione,” Kolis called out, and my fingers twitched around the glass. The false warmth in his voice immediately caused warning bells to go off.
The goddess stopped at the cage door. “Yes, Your Majesty?”
I lowered the glass to my lap, watching Kolis’s lips curve into a tight grin. “You addressed her as Consort.”
“Yes, I…” Her arched brows knitted. “Was I not supposed to?” “No,” Kolis answered. “You were not.”
Ione’s wary gaze darted between us. “I…I apologize. I’m—”
“It’s okay,” I interjected. “That is my title.”
Kolis’s head turned toward me, his eyes as still and flat as the waters of my lake, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to rise. “It is no longer how you are to be addressed.”
A sudden wave of dread flooded me, and I struggled not to show it on my face. It took everything for me to slip on that veil of nothingness again.
His stare held mine. “Your coronation was not recognized nor approved by me.”
My mouth parted in incredulity. That was a bald-faced lie.
“Therefore, the coronation itself was invalid,” he continued. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing as he turned his attention back to the goddess. “Do you understand?”
“I…I was unaware of this.” Ione lowered her gaze and nodded. “I do understand.”
I was nowhere near being the blank canvas I needed to be now as I clenched my teeth. My fury had nothing to do with losing my perceived rank in some ridiculous class structure; it was the message that he was sending to the other Primals. That any accusations of Kolis breaking tradition by taking me could be discredited.
Only the Primals Attes, and his brother Kyn, had been present when Kolis gave Ash and me his permission. The latter would likely back up whatever
Kolis claimed, but Attes…
He had sworn an oath to me.
However, the false King wasn’t aware of that. Just as he had no idea that Ione had lied to him.
My anger cooled as Ione crossed the chamber. Attes would have to support Ash, and that included telling the truth about Kolis giving his permission. Of course, the other Primals could choose not to believe Attes or Ash, but Kolis’s plans weren’t as clever as he thought they were.
“Your Majesty,” Callum began once Ione was gone.
“I know what you think, Callum. I understand it is hard to believe. And accept,” Kolis said, the flatness leaving his gaze, and the golden flecks burning brightly. “And you’re right. She looks different, but the similarities are there. I can see them.”
Callum said nothing, but he too stared at me.
Gods. One was bad enough, but both of them scrutinizing me? I wanted to gouge their eyes out.
“But it is her,” Kolis continued. The expression on Callum’s face grew increasingly more disturbing, reminding me of how I knew I’d looked at Tavius. “After all this time, my graeca has returned to me.”
Dragging my gaze from Callum, I looked up at the false King and felt my lips curve into a smile—a real one that had nothing to do with his words. His conviction meant only one thing I cared about. “I was telling you the truth
before.”
“I can see that.” Kolis’s stare softened, bringing life to his features once more. “I will honor my side of the deal,” he told me. “And you will honor yours.”
My stomach hollowed, but I felt myself nod and smile.
His chest rose with a deep breath as he looked at me. A second passed.
Then several. My smile began to fade. “Callum, I will find you later.” The Revenant bowed stiffly. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
As a kiss of unease bore down on the nape of my neck, I watched Callum leave the chamber, closing the door behind him.
“When you smile, you look more like I remember,” Kolis said, his voice thicker.
My gaze shifted back to the false King. Was he closer?
I hadn’t heard him move, but it felt as if he were. And as he stared, his
features lost some of that softness, turning thinner, starker. My unease grew at the clear change that had occurred upon my smile. Tiny goose bumps spread across my flesh. The embers stirred, but something else moved restlessly in my chest near them. It was an awareness, one that warned me I was not safe being alone with him.
I started to recognize the look in his eyes. I’d seen it in Ash before—a predatory need—but it didn’t even remotely evoke the same response coming from Kolis. My body didn’t flush hot with desire. I turned cold to the very core.
Fuck. I shouldn’t have smiled at him—
Wait, what was I thinking? I shouldn’t have smiled? I had only fucking smiled at the Primal. That was all. It was not an invitation, and I wasn’t ready. I was nowhere near the blank canvas I needed to be.
You will never be ready for that, a voice whispered, causing me to jerk, and my pulse to stutter. Had that…had that been Sotoria’s thought? Could she actually talk to me? Or was I losing my mind? The latter was likely, and I really needed to pull it together because I needed to figure a way out of this.
Despite believing that Kolis wanted more than to just share a bed with me yesterday, I wasn’t ready for what I saw in his stare now.
It was different than what I’d seen the day before. It was fiery. Alive.
More potent. He’d needed me to be Sotoria. Now, he fully believed that I was her, and that changed things.
I stood suddenly, mouth drying. Kolis showed no reaction to me moving. “I am feeling quite tired.”
“I have spent centuries waiting for you.” He spoke as if I hadn’t, and the almost guttural sound of his voice sent chills down my spine.
“That’s a long time,” I began, struggling to keep the creeping panic from my voice. “But—” I gasped.
Kolis was suddenly in front of me, causing me to take a step in retreat and battle the natural urge to force him to back off. “I have filled similar spaces with countless imitations of you.”
I cringed.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to recreate what I felt for you,” he said, taking my glass from my numb fingers. “But I was lonely.”
He’d really misunderstood my reaction to that statement.
His eyes closed. “I have been so damn lonely, so’lis.”
My muscles cramped with the effort it took to hold myself still instead of using my years of training on him. “And I’m sorry for that.”
Kolis pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around my stiff body so tightly that I felt his heart pounding against my chest. I had no idea what he’d done with my glass. “Not as sorry as I have been,” he murmured, cupping the back of my head.
Arms pinned to my sides, my fingers splayed. “Kolis—”
“You don’t have to worry about Kyn or anyone ever again. I have you now.” His head dropped to mine, and he inhaled deeply.
My eyes widened. Was he fucking smelling me again? I attempted to gain some space, as the horrid gown was no barrier, but his hold was immoveable.
“I need you,” he whispered.
All the muscles in my body went rigid. And, dear gods, revolting images flashed in my mind, threatening to flood the waning emptiness I’d crafted
inside myself.
“I just need to hold you.” Kolis shuddered. I blinked.
Okay, once again, that wasn’t where my horrified mind had gone, but I
wasn’t sure if it was any better. I didn’t want to be held by him.
Either I hadn’t given him an answer in a timely enough manner, or he simply didn’t wait, because he was suddenly sitting on the edge of the bed, and I was in his lap, my godsdamn feet dangling in the air.
His hand tangled in my hair as he continued to breathe me in. He was still shaking, and my entire being was in the midst of a frozen rebellion, barely
able to force a wisp of air into my lungs. Inside me, near the embers, a scream built. One only I could hear.
I struggled to stay calm and searched for a way to take his mind off me. “Will you release Nyktos now?”
He pressed his forehead against mine. “What?” he asked with a laugh that sounded uncertain.
My heart thudded heavily. “We made a deal,” I reminded him. “You promised to release him if—”
“I know what I promised,” he cut in, his voice changing, becoming thinner. “I cannot believe you would bring him up as I hold you.”
I suddenly became aware of how still Kolis had gone, and how hot his body had become.
“That you would even speak his name.” He drew back, and I saw then that his flesh…fuck, it had thinned. There was no golden aura of eather, and I saw the faint gleam of bone beneath his skin. Considering the last time I’d seen something like this, it wasn’t a good sign.
My fight-or-flight response kicked in. I jerked back as far as I could. Our gazes locked. It was just for a heartbeat or two, his eyes pools of golden- flecked eather.
Then he struck like a pit viper, sinking his fangs into my throat.
