That voice, the shadowy whisper of midnight that never failed to send a myriad of shivers through me, was all his.
Ash’s.
My eyes closed. It was his voice. He was behind me. I knew that in my bones and heart but dreaming of my lake instead of falling into any nightmarish scenario was already a blessing. Dreaming of him? Finding him here, even in my dreams…that felt impossible.
Like a miracle.
The hand on my hip firmed, easing me onto my back. Fingers slightly calloused from decades of training with weapons trailed over my cheek, the touch so reverent that my breath caught.
“Open your eyes for me, liessa. I need to see them.” His breath danced over my lips. “Please.”
I responded as if compelled to, but his words held no compulsion. It was just how I reacted to him. Only him. My eyes opened, and I found myself staring into twin pools of molten silver.
Ash.
My heart fluttered out of control as a storm of emotions rushed through me, every fiber of my being swept up in the onslaught. All I could do was
stare in a heady mix of disbelief and joy as the breeze lifted the edges of his
chestnut hair, tossing the strands against the bronzed skin of his jaw.
My gaze tracked over his wide, expressive mouth. His lips parted, and he looked down, his eyes full of wispy strands of eather, brighter than I’d ever seen. This was only a dream. I knew that, but I still searched the strong
slashes of his brows and striking features for any signs of his battle with Kolis. There were no bruises. I looked down.
And my lips parted.
Nothing obscured my view of the delineated lines of his chest. Except for the faint scars that had been there before, there was no evidence of the dagger that Kolis had repeatedly plunged into his chest. No signs of wounds across
the tightly packed muscles of his abdomen. My gaze skipped lower, running over the fascinating indents on the insides of his hips—
My breath hitched once more. Like me, Ash was completely naked and fully, gloriously aroused. A deep heat spread through me. Gods, I had no idea how my mind could replicate every part of him in such startling detail.
But I was happy about it.
My gaze lifted. One side of his lips quirked up in a half-grin that tugged at my heart. Ash had smiled freely in the mortal realm but less in the Shadowlands. That had begun to change, though. More of his teasing nature had started to resurface, but then…
I didn’t want to think about any of that. Not now. What I wanted was to touch him. Desperately so. But my fingers curled into the grass. I feared that if I did, he would vanish on me and collapse into nothing.
And if that happened? Even in a dream? It would be an unbearable loss.
Because we didn’t have much time, and this counted. It had to.
Ash’s head tipped back and to the side as his gaze left mine and glided down. The intensity of his perusal was like a physical touch. My skin tingled, and the tips of my breasts tightened. Liquid heat pooled low in my stomach
as the other side of his lips rose in a mischievous quirk. His gaze lowered more, running over my stomach and then between my thighs. His stare was blatant and all-consuming, branding my skin. The tips of his fangs appeared as he drew his lower lip between his teeth.
“Liessa,” he repeated in that smoke-and-shadow voice of his, sliding his hand across my lower stomach, leaving a trail of liquid fire in its wake. His eyes returned to mine. “Is it really you? Come to taunt me in my dreams?”
“Your dreams?” I said, watching his eyes close briefly at the sound of my voice. “More like you’re in my dream.”
Ash chuckled, and I sucked in a reedy breath. That rough, low laugh created heat in my blood. Gods, no one else could make such a simple thing sound so hedonistic. “Even in my dreams, you argue with me.”
“I’m not arguing with you.” “You’re not?”
“No.” I totally was.
That laugh came again, teasing my lips, and then his mouth was on mine. There was no pain from my split lip, but I was dreaming. Of course, there’d be no pain. But nothing could’ve prepared me for the feel of his mouth against mine. It came as a shock to the senses because it felt so damn real. I
didn’t think any memories could capture the soft-yet-unyielding firmness of his lips.
But then I wasn’t really thinking anymore because Ash’s kisses obliterated all thoughts. They always had. It was just us. His mouth, and how he kissed like a man dying of thirst, taking from me, drawing my tongue in to duel with his, and sipping from my lips. The slower, more languid kisses
were electric, sending sparks of desire dancing all over my body. In that
moment, my senses were overloaded, and it was hard to think of anything but the sensation of his lips on mine. I was breathless by the time he drew back.
“I dreamt that I could hear you calling my name.” He caught my lower lip between his teeth. I gasped at the quick nip. “I dreamt that you were in need of me.”
I listened, my heart racing as his hand swept up, curving around my breast. My back arched.
“But I shouldn’t be able to dream,” he said. I wasn’t sure what he meant, but then his voice changed, taking on a velvety quality, smooth and rich like the sweetest chocolate. “Touch me. Touch me, liessa, so that I know you’re real. Please.”
Gods, there was no way I could do anything but what he demanded, what he pleaded for. Hands trembling, I pressed my fingers against his cheeks. I trembled at the contact. His skin was hard, warm, and so very real. As his mouth moved over mine, I drew my hands down his chest, marveling at the feel of him. My fingers skimmed the tight ridges of his stomach.
Ash moaned against my lips, and the sound heated my blood even more. I could feel him against my thigh, hard and thick. His mouth left mine, and my
eyes fluttered open. He was looking down at me once more, his gaze slowly tracking over my face for several seconds. “Thirty-six.”
My freckles.
My heart swelled so swiftly and strongly that I wouldn’t have been surprised if I floated right off the grass.
“I had to count them.” His hand came to my jaw. “Just to make sure they were all where they’re supposed to be.”
Dreaming of him counting my freckles made sense. His tendency to do that was something that made my heart melt. But the rest? What a strange thing for me to have dreamt him saying.
Ash’s lips captured mine once more, giving me no time to dwell on that.
And when he kissed like this, as if I were the only thing in the world that could sustain him, I could do nothing but happily drown in those kisses.
And I did.
I kissed him back, saying everything I felt without uttering a single word, conveying a depth of emotion that words could never do justice to. I kissed him like it might be the last chance I’d get.
And it really could be.
A knot of sadness threatened to form and ruin the moment, but I refused to let it. I clasped his shoulders, feeling the slightly raised skin under the ink that had been driven into his flesh.
Ash shook, breathing raggedly as he pressed his forehead to mine. His hand splayed across my cheek, and that trembled, too. “I miss you,” he whispered hoarsely. “I don’t…I don’t know how much time has passed. A
day? Two? A week? Only a few hours? I don’t know, liessa, but I miss you, even as I sleep so deeply.”
Something about what he said caused my skin to prickle. A feeling, or maybe a memory, prodded me, but I couldn’t figure it out.
And I didn’t think it mattered right now. “I’m here, Ash.” He shuddered.
“So don’t miss me.” I touched his jaw, feeling the slight stubble there.
“Love me instead.”
“I do,” Ash swore. “Fates, Sera, I do.”
I lifted my head, bringing our mouths together, even though his words reminded me that I was dreaming, that all of this was me creating what I wanted to feel and hear. And, gods, I wanted nothing more than to hear Ash say that he loved me. That he was capable of it. And if I could only get that in a dream, I’d take it without shame. My tongue parted his lips, and his answering groan was the sound of pure bliss.
Ash’s palm returned to my breast. A breathy moan left me as he dragged the rough pad of his thumb over the hardened nipple. I sank a hand into the soft strands of his hair, curling my fingers around them as his hand skated down my stomach and then between my thighs. The feeling of him there, his fingers slipping through the dampness and into me, was another shock to the senses. I cried out, the sound caught by his kiss. My hips rose at the wicked, torturous pressure of his finger sinking into me. I ground against his hand, tension spinning, and…gods, I’d never felt something like this in a dream before. Never anything this intense.
I felt the sharp tip of one fang against my tongue and shivered. His bite never caused pain, only sensual, decadent pleasure. Not like—
My hand tightened in his hair. There was no space for that. Not in my dreams. Not when I was living in a state I didn’t want to wake from.
But I knew I would.
That knowledge filled me with a keening, desperate yearning. I pulled on him, wanting to feel his weight on me. Needing to. “I need you.” I gripped
his arm with my other hand, feeling his muscles jump. “I need you, Ash. Please.”
“You have me, liessa.” Ash, thank the gods, obliged without hesitation.
He shifted, his large body coming down over mine, caging me. The coarser
hairs of his legs teased mine as he settled between my thighs. “You’ve always had me.” The tip of a sharp fang dragged along my lower lip, creating tiny
knots of pleasure as the hot, hard length of him pressed against my core. “I’ve always had you.”
The feel of him sparked a pulsing twist of pleasure that ignited frenzied need because he felt…gods, he felt better than a memory.
A deep sound rumbled from Ash. His hand returned to my hip, and he pressed into me as his kisses turned fiercer, deeper, and rougher. With each drugging, tugging brush and pull of his mouth, tiny fires erupted through me. Then, with one thrust, he seated himself fully.
My cry was lost in his hoarse shout as a jolt of surprise swept through me, causing me to lock up. I could feel the little bite of pain from his size and the pulsing pleasure of him filling and stretching me.
I could really feel him.
Pulse racing, my eyes flew open, and my gaze collided with Ash’s. His body had stilled, too, but the bright-as-the-moon eather in his eyes whirled wildly. Neither of us moved or spoke for several moments as the embers in my chest started to hum.
“You feel…” Ash shook his head, his voice thick. His eyes were wide, the hollows under his cheeks starker as I felt him jerk inside me. “You feel as if
you’re here.”
As did he.
I inhaled deeply, catching the faint scent of lilacs—stale lilacs. My heart turned over heavily, and fear coursed through me. Was I waking up? My already-pounding heart sped up. No, I wasn’t ready for that. I would never be.
“Love me,” I ordered—begged, really. “Love me.” “Always,” he rasped.
Tears dampened my lashes. I squeezed my eyes shut against them, not
wanting to feel the hopelessness they evoked. I didn’t want a sorrow-filled experience in my dreams.
I wanted to burn.
Ash’s head dipped, his mouth closing over the tip of a breast. He drew my nipple into his hot mouth. I gasped as a new wave of pleasure rolled through me. His hips began to move, and my gasp quickly turned to a moan.
He lifted his head, nuzzling my neck under my ear. “You’re so beautiful.
Damn it, Sera, you’re so fucking beautiful.”
A shaky breath left me. I couldn’t feel more beautiful than I did right then.
“Tell me,” he murmured against the skin of my throat. “Tell me you love me, and I’ll show you my gratitude. I swear to you.”
“I love you,” I guided his head up, his eyes meeting mine. “I love you so much, Ash.”
Another tremor ran through him. He said something too low and quick for me to understand, but he did exactly as he swore he would.
The plunges and retreats picked up speed, moving faster and going deeper. We were all teeth and tangled limbs, greedy and desperate. We moved together, his hips thrusting down and mine surging to his. Pleasure spiked, making me dizzy and breathless in a way that conjured no fear, only want and need.
The muscles of his arms flexed, then he grasped my hip, lifting me until my ass was off the ground. I clasped the back of his neck, wrapping my legs around his waist. Gods, the angle…
Hot, tight shudders racked my body as his moved in a furious rhythm.
The release came fast and hard. I fractured, his name falling from my lips and whispering against his flesh. He followed with a shout, driving me into the ground, bolts of pleasure arcing, leaving both of us panting and breathless, our skin slick with a sheen of sweat—mine warm, and his…
Ash felt cold.
Like he did when he needed to feed. I didn’t know why my memories decided to capture him that way now, but my thoughts scattered at the sound of his throaty laugh.
“Fates.” Ash’s cheek dragged against mine when he turned his head. His kiss was featherlight and tender as he eased from me, shifting so he braced
the bulk of his weight. “How can this be a dream?”
“I don’t know.” I sighed as his nose touched mine. That too had cooled. A moment passed, and I let out a shaky breath. “It feels…”
“Real.” Ash nipped my lower lip once more, and when I gasped, his curled upward. “That felt real, didn’t it?”
I grinned, loving the sight of his smile. “Yes.”
His tongue flicked out, soothing the sting of his bite. “You feel real, Sera.
So much so that I almost think we’re…”
Waiting for an answer, I searched his features. “What?”
His throat worked on a swallow, and he drew his fingers over the freckles on my chin. “I don’t know.” He smiled then, but it didn’t reach his stunning silver eyes. “But I feel as if the Fates have rewarded me.”
“You feel like that?” I laughed quietly. “This is such a strange dream—a good one, but strange.”
“I’ve never dreamt of anything better.” “Neither have I,” I whispered.
Ash’s lips found mine, and my heart fluttered as if it had grown wings.
The unrelenting need to hold on to him and cherish every moment spent in his presence surged through my entire being.
And I did.
I thought we lay there for a while, his forehead resting against mine, and our bodies still pressed tightly together. It felt like that—like the real passing of seconds and minutes.
But I’d never felt time in a dream before.
“Sera…” He spoke my name against my lips. “You have no idea how I wish this were real.”
“I do.” I found his mouth and kissed him. Even his lips were cold now. He lifted his head, and his chest rose sharply against mine. “Sera.”
The way he said my name had my pulse spiking. My eyes fluttered open.
His were wide.
“What happened?” His gaze darted wildly over my face. My concern rose. “Fucking Fates, did I hurt you?”
“What?” I frowned. “Of course, not.”
The eather pulsed brightly. “Your lip is split, and your jaw…it’s swollen.
It wasn’t like that before.”
A shiver tiptoed down my spine. I managed to wiggle an arm between us and touch my lip. I winced at the flare of pain.
Ash moved quickly, catching my wrist. He pulled my hand away. “Don’t poke at it.” He drew my fingers to his mouth, dropping devastatingly gentle kisses on their tips.
Confusion swirled as I lifted my gaze to his. “It hurts.”
His skin thinned until I saw the dark shadows of eather beneath his flesh. “I can see that it would.”
“But it stopped hurting the moment I started dreaming…” I trailed off. “Are these injuries real?” Ash’s eyes had gone as flat as I’d seen Kolis’s
turn before. He cursed. “Did he do this?” Frost dripped from his tone. “Has
Kolis hurt you?”
“I don’t…” I slammed my eyes shut. “I don’t know why I would dream this.”
“This isn’t your…”
My brows pinched together. His skin had gotten even colder. The next breath I took carried that sweet-stale stench again as I opened my eyes.
“My fear,” he said, cursing. “Your fear?”
“Yes.” Shadows stained the skin under his eyes where none had been before. Hollows had formed under his cheekbones. His lips were tinted blue. “Even in sleep, my fear for you consumes me.”
I stiffened at the sight of him. He was changing right before my eyes. His normally golden skin lost its color. Then the edges of Ash’s face blurred. My chest spasmed. His shoulders did the same.
“Liessa?” His head jerked at the sound of a…footstep?
My skin pimpled all over. A sudden pressure spread along the nape of my neck. My gaze flew to where my fingers were pressed tightly into the skin of his arms. “I can’t feel you.” My throat dried as I held on tighter. Or thought I did. I could barely feel his skin beneath mine anymore. “I can’t feel you any longer.”
“It’s okay,” Ash told me, his voice rough.
But it wasn’t okay. The tall, sweeping elms above us collapsed into smoke. The breeze vanished. Bone-deep desperation rose as I looked up at him.
“I don’t want to wake up,” I whispered, my heart cracking. I grabbed hold of him, but I couldn’t feel him. “Please, don’t let me wake up. I don’t want to
leave you. Please.”
A noise came from Ash that sounded as if it had been dragged from the depths of his soul. “Sera—”
I jolted awake, my eyes flying open. I dragged in a ragged breath and tried to ease the pressure clamping down on my chest. My eyes burned with tears, causing the bars to blur just as Ash’s face had.
It had been a dream.
I knew that, but it had felt real. I could still feel Ash—his touch and kisses, the weight of him against my body. I could even feel that now, the fullness of him inside me and the dampness between my thighs. My hands
still tingled with the feeling of his flesh against mine. It all felt so damn real. Still did.
But it couldn’t be.
Because there were no bright stars above me, only bars. And beneath me? The softness of the divan I’d fallen asleep on. There was no tranquil quiet— the distant, guttural howls of the dakkais could be heard.
I was once more caged.
