Jacks’s back hit the ground as Evangeline flung herself at him. “You monster!” she cried, and cursed.
He’d never heard her curse properly before. She wasn’t very good at it, but she was trying furiously.
As they fell to ground, she landed on his chest with a force that ought to have knocked the air from her lungs, but it didn’t stop her from wailing, “Why did you do that? You can’t just go around killing people!”
She continued to thrash on top of him. Her knees were on either side of his waist as she whaled at him with her hands. Jacks couldn’t tell if she was trying to hit him or stab him, and he suspected she didn’t know what she was trying to do, either.
If she wanted to stab him, she was holding the knife in the wrong direction as her fists continued to beat his chest. Another day, he might have been pleased that she was at least trying to protect herself. But as usual, Evangeline had no idea what sort of danger she was actually in.
Jacks trapped both of her wrists in his gloved hands and yanked them above her head before she could accidentally slice his throat.
“He’s not really dead,” he ground out. “The actual monster, the one I just stabbed, will come back to life. And when he does, we need to be gone.”
“There is no we. I know who you are!” Evangeline finally tore her hands free, reared back, and pointed her dagger directly at his heart. This time, the blade was pointed in the proper direction. Her hands were shaking, but her voice was still furious and hurt. “I saw your portrait in the scandal sheets— along with a story about everyone you murdered last night!”
“I didn’t murder anyone last night.” “You killed someone in front of me!”
“That wasn’t murder. He was trying to kill you.”
Evangeline screwed her mouth to the side. She knew he was right. But she didn’t move the dagger. She kept it pointed at his heart. He could see in her eyes that she believed it was the right thing, to end him. And she wasn’t entirely wrong.
“I deserve this,” he said. “I probably deserve a lot worse. But this is not
the day to kill me. I’m trying very hard to keep you alive.”
Jacks grabbed her arms again and flipped her over, trapping her beneath his body. He tried to be gentle, he tried not to hurt her. But he needed her to understand before he let her go. “Yes, I am a murderer. I enjoy hurting people. I like blood. I like pain. I am a monster, but whether you remember it or not, I’m your monster, Evangeline.”
Her breath caught.
For a second, Jacks could have sworn it wasn’t anger or fear he saw in her eyes. Her neck turned pink and her cheeks flushed . . . differently from before. He couldn’t tell if she was finally remembering.
But he was selfish enough to hope that she was.
He debated keeping her trapped under him until she did. He knew it was a bad idea, but he wanted her to remember him. He wanted her to look at him, just once, and know him the way she had before.
It was cruel of him to want her to want him again. If she remembered, it would only hurt her more.
He was still haunted by the last time he’d seen her with her memories. It had been right outside the Valory. Hours before, he’d felt her die in his arms.
Evangeline had no idea what had happened, no clue that Jacks had already used the stones to turn back time for her.
She was trying to talk him out of using them to go back to Donatella.
She’d asked him to come with her instead. After everything, she’d still wanted him.
Jacks had so badly wanted to tell her that he couldn’t even remember what Donatella looked like, that Evangeline’s face was the only one he saw whenever he closed his eyes, that he would go with her anywhere . . . if he could.
But he couldn’t see her die again. His first fox had believed in him, and she had died, just like Evangeline would. There was only one way their story ended, and it wasn’t happy. Her hope might have been powerful, but it wasn’t magic. It wasn’t enough.
It was better to hurt her, better to break her heart, to do whatever he needed to do, to keep her alive and to keep her away from him.
That hadn’t changed.
But today, Jacks was failing at letting her go. He wanted to keep her pressed to the floor beneath him. He would have set the world on fire and then let it all burn just to keep holding her like this.
He glanced to the side. Castor was motionless. His chest was still, his eyes were frozen open. He really did look dead. But it wouldn’t be much longer until he returned to life.
Jacks had to get Evangeline out of here.
She was still flushed beneath him, her face red, her breathing heavy. He could see that she hadn’t decided whether to trust him, but he couldn’t waste any more time.
He jumped up from the ground. Then he grabbed her hand and yanked her to her feet before he reached for the rope in his belt.
“What are you doing?” she started, but Jacks didn’t give her the chance to break away. He pulled her back to him and quickly tied her wrist to his.
