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Chapter no 18

A Court This Cruel and Lovely

 

 

 

Dinner was a buffet of breads, cheeses, fruits, vegetables, and meat. So much meat. The wine flowed freely, and the servants brought out sweet pastries, candied fruitsโ€ฆ It was the kind of meal Iโ€™d

dreamed of in my village. I didnโ€™t taste any of it.

The queenโ€™s ladies ignored me. Lisveth attempted to start a conversation a few times, but I was distracted, and she quickly gave up, likely tired of my one-word answers.

When my mind slowed enough, I listened to the ladiesโ€™ conversation, mentally taking notes of everything they were sayingโ€”even as I felt Lorianโ€™s eyes on me.

The five other ladies had been accompanying the queen for years. Lisvethโ€™s mother had been one of the queenโ€™s close friends, and sheโ€™d died from fever shortly after Lisveth was born when the healer hadnโ€™t arrived in time to save her life. Lisveth was the youngest of us all at just sixteen winters, and the queen treated her almost like a daughter at times.

Caraceli was the woman whoโ€™d once been in charge of the queenโ€™s fire and was closest to Katinaโ€”the woman the queen had found at the market.

The woman Iโ€™d arranged to return to her village.

When Katina arrived home, she would find her parents in excellent health. Caraceli seemed to hate me even more than Madinia, likely because Iโ€™d taken her friendโ€™s place.

Caraceli and Madinia also hated each other. Madinia seemed to hate everyone, but occasionally when the queen wasnโ€™t looking, sheโ€™d call Caraceliย fire girlย with a smug smile.

There was a reason no one seemed to like Madinia. And it wasnโ€™t just because her father was apparently so close to the king.

Pelopia and Alcandre were sitting at the other end of the table, murmuring quietly to each other. I hadnโ€™t yet learned how theyโ€™d come to be in the queenโ€™s employโ€”likely Auria could tell me later. Both had nodded to me, but other than Alcandreโ€™s comments about Gromalia, theyโ€™d stayed quiet. Likely because neither of them wanted to attract Madiniaโ€™s ire.

I could still feel Lorian watching me. How exactly had he ended up here? My heart thumped faster at the memory of the fae heโ€™d met with near the Gromalian border. I needed to know what Lorian was planning and how his plans would affect my own.

I risked a glance over my shoulder when the room went quiet. The queen had gotten to her feet. With a few murmured words to the king, she walked toward the door.

โ€œDo we need to follow her?โ€ I asked.

Lisveth shook her head. โ€œThe queen likes privacy after one of the kingโ€™s dinners. And sheย especiallyย enjoys being alone after the castle balls. Weโ€™re allowed to leave whenever we like.โ€

I studied the others at the kingโ€™s table, ignoring Lorian, who was deep in conversation with King Sabium. โ€œWho are the other people sitting with the king?โ€ I asked quietly.

Lisveth smiled. โ€œTheyโ€™re the kingโ€™s patriarchs. They own huge swaths of land, depending on how much of the kingโ€™s favor theyโ€™ve courted over the years. Down the end of the table is Patriarch Kofod.โ€ She nodded toward a man with a mournful expression who looked drunk already. โ€œNext to him is Patriarch Farrowโ€”Madiniaโ€™s father.โ€

I studied the man. Madiniaโ€™s mother must have been a beauty, because other than their red hair, the two had no other similarities that I could see. I glanced at Madinia. She raised one eyebrow at me.

Patriarch Farrow was sitting next to the king. A powerful man, indeed.

The Gromalian prince sat on his other side. โ€œAnd next to theโ€ฆprince?โ€ โ€œPatriarch Thueson.โ€ She smiled. Thueson had wiry white hair that

stood out from his head as if he couldnโ€™t help but run his hands through it. He looked deep in contemplation as he studied his plate. โ€œHeโ€™s a nice man,โ€ Lisveth said. โ€œMy father was rarely at court when I was young, and Patriarch Thueson always had a piece of honeyed fruit for me.โ€ She leaned close and lowered her voice to a whisper. โ€œHe hates court. Heโ€™d much rather be managing his lands with his husband, but the king enjoys his company and often insists he stay here. Next to him is Patriarch Greve.โ€ She nodded toward a man with a thin, sharp nose and a sallow complexion. Something like fear darted across her face, and I opened my mouth, but Lisveth turned back to face the table. Clearly, she didnโ€™t want to talk about it.

I waited a few more minutes, but none of the other ladies showed any signs of retiring. Finally, I pushed back my chair.

โ€œIโ€™m tired,โ€ I said.

Lisveth smiled at me. The others ignored me. โ€œGood night.โ€

I practically ran from the dining hall. I hadnโ€™t seen Rythos or the rest of the group, but if Lorian was here, I had little doubt they were around somewhere.

Someone took my arm, and I stumbled. Then I was being swept into an empty room.

Lorian glowered down at me. My stupid body wanted to arch against him. Clearly, all the stress was impacting my mind.

โ€œYou were supposed to get on a ship,โ€ he growled.

I took a deep breath, and his enticing scent wound toward me. He smelled wild, like the forest, and it reminded me of sleeping outdoors beneath the stars. โ€œIโ€™m going nowhere until Asinia is safe.โ€

He went still in that strange way he so often did. โ€œYouโ€™re risking everything for a woman who is probably dead already?โ€

I sniffed. โ€œI donโ€™t know how to explain friendship and loyalty to you.

You either know what those things are, or you donโ€™t.โ€

The ghost of a smile crossed his face. We both knew he was intensely loyal to his friends. โ€œTell me.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s simple. Sheโ€™s my best friend. More like a sister than a friend. And I know, without a doubt, that if I were the one whoโ€™d been taken, sheโ€™d do the

same for me.โ€

โ€œYet neither of you knew the other had power.โ€

Something Iโ€™d avoided thinking about until I could talk to Asinia.

โ€œOur friendship had secrets. But none of that matters now. The question is, what the hell areย youย doing here?โ€ I hissed.

He just raised one dark brow. โ€œHow about you tell me how a villager gets a position as one of the queenโ€™s ladies?โ€

โ€œAs soon as you tell me how a mercenary has a seat at the kingโ€™s table.โ€ He gave me a slow smile. โ€œI never said I was a mercenary.โ€

Of all theโ€” โ€œYouโ€™re not from Gromalia either!โ€

โ€œAccording to whom?โ€ He had the audacity to look affronted. โ€œThe idea ofย youย being a prince is ludicrous.โ€

โ€œAlmost as ludicrous as a villager being a queenโ€™s lady?โ€ I sneered at him.

โ€œAlthough, for a savage villager, you certainly manage to outshine the other ladies,โ€ he purred.

โ€œDonโ€™t try to distract me.โ€

He grinned down at me. โ€œBut you make it so easy.โ€ He reached a hand up to play with the curl that had been left free over my forehead. โ€œI like your real hair better. And I miss those strange eyes.โ€

โ€œStrange?โ€ โ€œStrangely beautiful.โ€

Something had sparked in Lorian since Iโ€™d seen him last. He was almostโ€ฆcharming. Was it because he was close to getting whatever it was heโ€™d come here for?

His hand slid to my chin. โ€œI missed the rest of you too. The way you scowl at me when I say something you disagree with. And that face you make when youโ€™re wondering what Iโ€™d look like naked.โ€

My heart thundered, an entirely unwelcome awareness flooding my body. โ€œI donโ€™t wonder what youโ€™d look like naked!โ€

โ€œAh, you wouldnโ€™t need to wonder, would you? Because you watched me bathing at the inn, you wicked thing.โ€

My cheeks blazed. I thought back to the way heโ€™d stretched, as if on display. Because he had been. This man was a predator at his core. Had I really thought he hadnโ€™t felt my eyes on him?

This conversation had quickly slipped out of my control.

Lorian shifted closer to me, leaning down to sniff at my neck. I pulled my head back and planted my hands on my hips. โ€œWhatever youโ€™re doing here, stay out of my way.โ€

His expression turned serious. โ€œOnly if you restrain yourself from spying on me.โ€

โ€œFine.โ€

He stepped back, his eyes still intent in that strange way.

He cursed, and then he was kissing me. His lips caressed mine achingly slowly. As if Iโ€™d stopped time for us. Warmth traveled through my body, my limbs strangely languid. One of his hands slid to my ribs, right beneath my breast, and I wanted to arch my body, wanted to writhe until he was touching me higher.

He slowly lifted his head. His expression was cold, but his eyesโ€ฆ blazed. โ€œUnless you want to end up in my bed, stay away from me.โ€

Of all theโ€”

I shoved against his chest, and he took his time stepping back. โ€œThat willย neverย happen,โ€ I hissed, ignoring his low laugh. I stalked out of the room.

Tibris was waiting for me in the servantsโ€™ hall near my chambers. โ€œIs everything okay?โ€

I leaned close, keeping my voice to the barest whisper. โ€œLorian is here.โ€

His face twisted into a deep scowl. โ€œTheย mercenary?โ€ he whispered back. โ€œDid you know about this?โ€

โ€œOf course not. I donโ€™t know what heโ€™s up to. I swear.โ€

I could see Tibris mentally calculating what Lorianโ€™s presence meant for our own plans.

โ€œHow did he get in here?โ€

โ€œYouโ€™ll love this. Heโ€™s pretending to be the Gromalian prince.โ€

Tibris let out a choked laugh. When he realized I was serious, he sighed. โ€œStay away from him, Pris.โ€

โ€œOh, I will.โ€

โ€œThe dungeon guards are already drunk. It seems they took advantage of the distraction in the castle. We should go see Asinia now.โ€

Shame stabbed into my gut. Iโ€™d been busy kissing Lorian, while Asinia and Demos were waiting for us. โ€œI need to get some food for her and Demos.โ€

He held up a sack. โ€œThe cook likes me.โ€

โ€œWhy am I not surprised?โ€

โ€œYou look good, Pris. Royal.โ€

While I hated the thought of lookingย royal, it was exactly what we needed. โ€œThank Vicer for me. I need to check on Wila.โ€ If she would even be willing to speak to me. โ€œSheโ€™s the reason the plan worked.โ€

Tibris was right. Both guards were slumped against the wall, one of them with his eyes at half-mast. It was difficult to pull the thread of my magic to me today, maybe because my mind was circling through so much information. But I managed to pause time long enough for us to sneak past the guards and make our way down the stone steps.

After experiencing a royal dinner, the dungeon seemed even worse. The scent of excrement and hopelessness was heavy in the air.

โ€œSetella,โ€ a voice whispered, and I whirled. Wila was in one of the cells closest to the stairs. She had a black eye and a split lip.

โ€œGo work on Asinia,โ€ I told Tibris. His gaze flicked between Wila and me, and I just nodded at him. โ€œItโ€™s okay. Go.โ€

Fury burned through me as I knelt outside her cage. โ€œThank you.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re welcome.โ€

โ€œMy real name is Prisca,โ€ I whispered. It was the least I could give her.

Wila studied me. Her eyes were strangely clear, and she seemed older than her years. โ€œPrisca. I like it. Vicer may not have told me who you were, but I figured it out. I hated you at first, you know.โ€

โ€œI know.โ€

โ€œI thought you were just another girl playing at being a rebel. Weโ€™ve been fighting back for years, and you thought you could stroll in here and change the world. It made me want to hit you.โ€

I smiled. โ€œI canโ€™t blame you.โ€

Wila smiled too. It must have hurt her lip. โ€œBut I was watching every move you made. You know, all this time, none of us ever tried to get that close to the queen?โ€ She waved her hand over my new dress. โ€œYouโ€™ve been here mere days, and today, we could have killed her if weโ€™d wanted.โ€

โ€œI wanted to.โ€ It was terrifying how much I wanted to. Iโ€™d changed so much since Iโ€™d left my village, I barely recognized myself.

โ€œI know. So did I. I would have listened to her screams and laughed and laughed.โ€ Wila smirked. โ€œBut youโ€™re thinking bigger. And thatโ€™s why I agreed to do this. Because youโ€™re going to make them pay.โ€

Her confidence both strengthened and terrified me. Gods, I hoped I could be the person she thought I was.

โ€œI will. How long did the queen say you have to stay down here?โ€ โ€œIโ€™m not getting out.โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€

She just ran a hand over her face.

Fury blazed through me. โ€œIโ€™ll get you out of here with the others.โ€

She slowly shook her head. โ€œNo, you wonโ€™t. The king intervened. He wasnโ€™t pleased with hisย belovedย coming so close to harm. Iโ€™ve been sentenced to die two days from today.โ€

The dungeon did one slow spin around me. Wila was still talking, but all I could hear was my blood rushing in my ears.

โ€œThen Iโ€™m getting you out tonight,โ€ I said through numb lips. โ€œNow.โ€

โ€œYou know you canโ€™t.โ€ Tears glistened in her eyes now. โ€œItโ€™s okay. Iโ€™ve been in this castle for over a year, and I havenโ€™t done anything greater than passing on information to Vicer. And not one scrap of information has saved a single life. This was something I could do thatย mattered.โ€

I clutched the bars between us, staring at her. โ€œYou canโ€™tย give up.โ€

Tears dripped down her cheeks. โ€œThey took my brother,โ€ she told me. โ€œWe were born minutes apart. I was away from the village that day, and I ran. By the time I got to the city, heโ€™d already burned. I never got to say goodbye. Never got to thank him for being the best brother I could have hoped for. The king took him from me without a thought. Because if his people found out just how many of us have magic, and why, all his lies would begin to fall apart. You have a brother.โ€ Her gaze drifted behind me in the direction Tibris had gone.

โ€œI do. And my brother wouldnโ€™t want me to throw your life away.

Neither would yours.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not. Youโ€™re going to free them, I know it. Promise me, Prisca. Promise me youโ€™ll free them. And one day, youโ€™ll come back and burn this fucking place to the ground.โ€

There was only one thing I could say. โ€œI promise.โ€

 

 

 

 

A scuff sounded to my left.

My hand instantly went to my dagger, and I turned. Prisca stood in my room, her face pale.

โ€œUsing your power to sneak into my rooms, wildcat? How very

scandalous.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t have time to play.โ€

Her eyes met mine, and I experienced another jolt at the color. I loathed the change. But more importantly, those eyes were desperate. Desperate in a way that filled me with a strange disquiet.

โ€œWhat is it?โ€

โ€œYou asked how I ended up as one of the queenโ€™s ladies. I worked with a woman named Wila. She dropped a lamp on the queenโ€™s dress. A lamp with fae fire. I froze time long enough for it to catch and for the queen to assume the people surrounding her did nothing.โ€

Her face had gone even paler, as if admitting to her deeds was sucking the life from her.

โ€œAnd then you put the fire out, drawing the queenโ€™s attention for your bravery and fast instincts.โ€

โ€œYes.โ€

I studied her. Sheโ€™d glanced away with that word, shifting on her feet. โ€œYouโ€™re not telling me all of it. From what Iโ€™ve learned of the queen, she usually keeps no more than six ladies at any one time.โ€

She stuck her chin out in that stubborn way she had, and I raised one eyebrow.

โ€œYou arranged for one of those ladies to disappear, didnโ€™t you, wildcat?โ€ โ€œI didnโ€™t kill her,โ€ she said quickly. โ€œSheโ€™s traveling back to her

village.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re a better schemer than Iโ€™d anticipated. Congratulations. That doesnโ€™t explain why youโ€™ve come to me so distraught, directly after we agreed to pretend the other doesnโ€™t exist.โ€

โ€œWilaโ€ฆIโ€™d thought she would be embarrassed. Maybe demoted. But they took her to the dungeon.โ€ Her voice broke, and something in my chest wrenched.

I sighed. โ€œTheyโ€™re putting her to death, and you want me to intervene.โ€ โ€œThe king heard what happened and decided to use it as proof of his

love,โ€ she spat. โ€œHe sentenced Wila to death. She dies at sunrise, two days from now.โ€

โ€œWhat exactly is it you think I can do?โ€

โ€œAnything.ย Please,ย Lorian. Iโ€™m begging you. If I take her now, theyโ€™ll start an investigation and increase security. Then I wonโ€™t be able to get Asinia out. Sheโ€™s still too weak to travel.โ€

My jaw clenched. She was asking for my help.ย Begging. And I couldnโ€™t give her what she wanted. What she needed. A strange kind of powerlessness punched into me. โ€œI canโ€™t.โ€

โ€œLorianโ€”โ€

I held up a hand. At some point in the past few weeks, dulling the hope in Priscaโ€™s eyes had turned from an absolute necessity to a living hell.

โ€œLet me tell you how executions happen here. The prisoner is led out the back entrance of the castle while blindfolded. Denied even the sight of one last sunrise. Theyโ€™re surrounded by guards at all times, dragged to one of the many squares in the city that were designed exactly for this purpose. Even if I could create a big enough distraction to get her free, the city gates would immediately be shut. Every man, woman, and child who attempted to leave would be searched. The violence would become inescapable until she was found. Many other innocent people would die.โ€

I knew all about the prisoners in this castle. Knew what happened to them. Every excruciating detail. And at some point, this vexing woman had become too important to me. Important enough that the thought of her going ahead with such plansโ€”and taking that long, lonely walk to her executionโ€ฆ

I would do whatever it took to make sure that didnโ€™t happen. Even if it meant I had to tie her up and hide her in a closet.

Prisca swayed on her feet. Her face had turned ashen. I took a step toward her, attempting to steady her. She flinched.

I forced my hands back to my sides. โ€œComing here was a mistake,โ€ I said. โ€œYouโ€™re not the only one with people you need to protect. I canโ€™t help you.โ€

She stumbled back toward the door. Her eyes met mine, and for a single moment, the amber shone through whatever charm she had in place.

โ€œOf course you canโ€™t. Youโ€™ve proven you have no concerns about leaving women to die. I donโ€™t know why I expected anything more of you.โ€ She turned and stalked out.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a low laugh.

Because despite everything Iโ€™d just said, I was going to try to get the maid out.

 

 

 

 

My door opened shortly after sunrise the next morning. Daselis swept in, throwing open the curtains.

โ€œThe queen expects her ladies to eat breakfast with her this morning,โ€ she said.

โ€œI can get myself ready.โ€ My voice was hoarse. After Iโ€™d begged Lorian for help, Iโ€™d cried myself to sleep.

Daselis just stalked into the bathing room. Water began running directly after, and I forced myself to get out of bed.

โ€œAre you okay?โ€ Erea whispered. โ€œYour eyes are all swollen, your face blotchy.โ€

โ€œIt must be difficult landing such a coveted position,โ€ Daselis said, stepping back into the room, her voice heavy with sarcasm. โ€œBathe.โ€

I didnโ€™t have it in me to argue. I made my way to the bathing room, stripped, and slipped into the bath, my mind whirling.

Iย hatedย that Lorian had sounded so assured. That every word heโ€™d said had made perfect sense. Iโ€™d known since Iโ€™d seen Asinia in the dungeon that Iโ€™d need a better strategy than โ€œuse my power to freeze time and sneak her

out of the castle.โ€ But the thought of Wila dying because of my stupid planโ€ฆ

I couldnโ€™t let her lose her life that way. Iย wouldnโ€™t.

Someone knocked on the bedroom door. Either Erea or Daselis must have opened it, because I heard murmuring. Erea poked her head into the bathing room.

โ€œThat was a messenger. Instead of eating in the queenโ€™s rooms, youโ€™ll be eating at a formal breakfast with the king. He has an announcement.โ€

A headache had begun to pound behind my right eye. But I nodded, stepping out of the bath.

โ€œYou need to hurry,โ€ Daselis said.

I was barely present as they helped me dress. My mind returned to Wila in that cell again and again. The bruises on her face. The freezing air. And the thought of her being taken from that cell, only to die. There had to be a way to get her out. If Lorian wouldnโ€™t help, Iโ€™d try something else.

I just needed a big enough distraction that I could buy Wila a day or two.

โ€œTime to go,โ€ Daselis said grimly.

Ereaโ€™s hands fluttered from where sheโ€™d been fixing my hair. โ€œIt looks perfect,โ€ I told her.

Getting to my feet, I made my way down to the royal dining hall. The last people I wanted to see were the king and queen. Although today, the thought of seeing Lorian was just as distasteful. The other ladies were already waiting, the same seat empty. I sat in it and glanced at Lisveth.

โ€œIs this something that happens often?โ€

She shook her head. โ€œUsually, the king doesnโ€™t rise for another few hours.โ€

Obviously being an evil bastard took it out of him. โ€œDo you know whatโ€™s going on?โ€

โ€œNope. Want some breakfast?โ€

My stomach was churning too much to eat. I shook my head, and she sighed. โ€œYou barely ate anything last night either. Are you feeling okay?โ€

โ€œIโ€™m fine. I just donโ€™t like big meals in the morning.โ€ A man I didnโ€™t recognize was sitting at the kingโ€™s table. A man with sharp features and cold gray eyes. โ€œWho is that?โ€

โ€œRothnic Boria. Heโ€™s the one who used his magic to create the horseless carriages. Heโ€™s one of the kingโ€™s favorites, and everyone at court is desperate to see what he does next with his magic and genius mind.โ€

โ€œAnd the man beside him?โ€

โ€œHis son Davis. Heโ€™sย obsessedย with Madinia, but she has been ignoring him for years.โ€

Davis was handsome, although he had a weak jaw. But his eyes were even colder than his fatherโ€™s, and something about him made me shiver. Maybe he was the perfect match for Madinia. Although I wouldnโ€™t wish someone with eyes that lifeless on anyone, even her.

We all stood as the king and queen walked in together. Behind them, Lorian strolled, his lithe movements making him seem less of the giant brute I knew him to be and moreโ€ฆelegant. Heโ€™d disappointed me. Not only because heโ€™d refused to help, but because Iโ€™d gone to him when I should have known better.

Lorian was surrounded by men dressed in Gromalian green. His gaze slid to mine, and a muscle twitched in his cheek. His eyes were empty, his expressionโ€ฆapologetic.

Dread swept through my body in a wave.

The king stayed on his feet, so everyone else did too.

โ€œYouโ€™re probably wondering why weโ€™re eating together this morning. Some of you may be aware that my queen was almost gravely injured yesterday. Iโ€™m pleased to announce that the woman responsible was executed this morning.โ€

My vision narrowed. I clutched at the top of my chair. No. No, no, no, no, no.

Lorian was staring intently at me. I knew that look. It was the same look heโ€™d given me every time he was about to berate me, about to order me to hold it together. I sucked in a deep breath, the backs of my eyes burning.

Donโ€™t fall apart here.

โ€œWhile she was put to death, she screamed a name that one of my guards recognized.โ€

The thought of Wila screaming as she diedโ€ฆ My knees went weak, and I was instantly covered in a greasy sweat.

The king was sweeping his gaze over the entire room. โ€œThat name belonged to her brother. One of theย corrupt.โ€ His voice lowered to a hiss. โ€œThe corrupt had infiltrated this castle.โ€

Murmurs sounded as the nobles processed this news.

I stayed very still, ignoring the instinct to make myself as small as possible. That would only draw attention.

โ€œDue to this event, my assessor will be examining every servant in this castle and the grounds.โ€

Lisveth leaned close. โ€œIโ€™m glad we donโ€™t count asย servants. The kingโ€™s assessor is scary.โ€

I gave her a nod. Tibris would be okay. He wasnโ€™t a hybrid. But he needed to get a message to Vicer. He still had another rebel in the castle, and they needed to get out.

The king was still talking, his cold gaze moving to our table. Lisveth straightened.

โ€œThankfully, another maid was nearby and saved my queen,โ€ he boomed. โ€œOne loyal to the crown. I have learned she has been rewarded with a temporary position as one of the queenโ€™s ladies.โ€

The kingโ€™s eyes met mine.

Smile like your life depends on it. Because it does.

I beamed, lowering my head in a bow. I could feel the courtโ€™s eyes on me. All of them judging, weighing.

โ€œNow, eat,โ€ the king said. โ€œAnd let us celebrate the burning of yet another of the corrupt.โ€

โ€œPromise me, Prisca. Promise me youโ€™ll free them. And one day, youโ€™ll come back and burn this fucking place to the ground.โ€

I looked over my shoulder at the king, who was smiling at Lorian.

Burn this fucking place to the ground.

I sucked in a steadying breath. Just a few minutes, and I could fall apart. โ€œI donโ€™t feel well,โ€ I murmured to Lisveth. โ€œIโ€™ll meet you in the queenโ€™s

quarters.โ€

Pelopiaโ€™s eyes widened. โ€œThe queen wonโ€™t like that.โ€

โ€œShe wonโ€™t like it if I disgrace myself here either.โ€ I smiled to soften my words, and after a moment, she smiled back.

I could feel eyes on me as I walked out of the hall. I made it as far as the closest storage room before I fell apart.

Slumping to my knees, I stuffed my fist in my mouth, sobs choking me.

My fault. Iโ€™d thought I could do this. Thought I could stroll into this castle and free the kingโ€™s prisoners. Instead, Iโ€™d gotten a good woman killed.

Strong arms surrounded me, and I lashed out. The guardsโ€” But I recognized that scent. I stilled, and then I swung my fist. โ€œYouโ€™ll have to do better than that, wildcat.โ€

Howย dareย he? โ€œDonโ€™t fucking touch me.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m sorry, Prisca.โ€ His voice was grim. โ€œWould you believe me if I told you I tried?โ€

โ€œNo.โ€

I was fighting him, rage burning through me as I hit and clawed. I made contact, and he cursed, catching my hands in his.

โ€œLet go,โ€ he growled. โ€œJust fucking let go.โ€ I bowed my head.

Lorian pulled me close. I lashed out at him again, and he ignored it, his arms tightening around me. I sobbed, great big gulping sobs that choked me until I could barely breathe. Lorian was silent, but one of his hands gently stroked my back.

This place was worse than I could have ever imagined.

Lorian began humming, his hand still slowly stroking my back. I kept crying.

Eventually, I wore myself out. Sniffling, I wiped my face on his shirt. He let that go.

The song was a tune Iโ€™d never heard before. Something strange and different. I finally lifted my head to find him gazing at the ceiling. His eyes met mine, and they blazed with barely suppressed wrath as he peeled me off him as if I were a kitten, his hand on the back of my neck. A tiny white line had appeared on his cheek. He was clenching his jaw. Lorian wasnโ€™t unaffected at all. He was just as furious as I was.

โ€œI tried,โ€ he said. โ€œThe kingโ€™s spies learned that I had asked about the woman whoโ€™d tripped near the queen, and they reported back to him. If anything, I hastened her death.โ€

Fresh tears flooded my eyes, and Lorian sighed. โ€œIโ€™d tell you not to blame yourself, but both of us know it wouldnโ€™t help. If you want to blame anyone, blame me.โ€

A group of women walked past the door, laughing and gossiping. How could they act like nothing had happened when an innocent woman had lost her life?

Because she wasย corrupt. Just like me. โ€œWhy are you really here, Lorian?โ€

His face closed off. In a swift movement, he clutched me to him once more so he could stand, dragging me to my feet. โ€œBecause the king took everything from my family. And now Iโ€™m going to take everything from him.โ€

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