Our alliance did not begin well.
Even though we talked for a good two hours afterward โฆ the bickering, the back-and-forth, continued. With Tamlin there, none would declare what numbers they had, what weapons, what weaknesses.
As the afternoon slipped into evening, Thesan pushed back his chair. โYou are all welcome to stay the night and resume this discussion in the morningโ unless you wish to return to your own homes for the evening.โ
Weโre staying, Rhysand said.ย I need to talk to some of the others alone. Indeed, the others seemed to have similar thoughts, for all decided to stay. Even Tamlin.
We were shown toward the suites appointed for usโthe sunstone turning a deep gold in the late-afternoon sun. Tamlin was escorted away first, by Thesan himself and a trembling attendant. He had wisely chosen not to attack Rhys or me during the debating, though his refusal to even acknowledge us did not go unnoticed. And as he left, back stiff and steps clipped, he did not say a word. Good.
Then Tarquin was led out, then Helion. Until only Kalliasโs party and our own waited.
Rhys rose from his seat and dragged a hand through his hair. โThat went well. It would seemย noneย of us won our bet about whoโd fight first.โ
Azriel stared at the floor, stone-faced. โSorry.โ The word was emotionless
โdistant.
He had not spoken, had barely moved, since his savage attack. It had taken Mor thirty minutes after it to stop shaking.
โHe had it coming,โ Viviane said. โEris is a piece of shit.โ Kallias turned to his mate with high brows.
โWhat?โ She put a hand on her chest. โHe is.โ
โBe that as it may,โ Kallias said with cool humor, โthe question remains about whether Beron will fight with us.โ
โIf all the others are allying,โ Mor said hoarsely, her first words in hours, โBeron will join. Heโs too smart to risk siding with Hybern and losing. And Iโm sure if things go badly, heโll easily switch over.โ
Rhys nodded, but faced Kallias. โHow many troops do you have?โ
โNot enough. Amarantha did her job well.โ Again, that ripple of guilt that pulsed down the bond. โWeโve got the army that Viv commanded and hid, but not much else. You?โ
Rhys didnโt reveal a whisper of the tension that tightened in me, as if it were my own. โWe have sizable forces. Mostly Illyrian legions. And a few thousand Darkbringers. But weโll need every soldier who can march.โ
Viviane walked to where Mor remained seated, still pale, and braced her hands on my friendโs shoulders. โI always knew weโd fight alongside each other one day.โ
Mor dragged her brown eyes up. But she glanced toward Kallias, who seemed to be trying his best not to appear worried. Mor gave the High Lord a look as if to sayย Iโll take care of herย before she smiled at Viviane. โItโs almost enough to make me feel bad for Hybern.โ
โAlmost.โ Viviane grinned wickedly. โBut not quite.โ
We were led to a suite built around a lavish sitting area and private dining room. All of it carved from that sunstone, bedecked in jewel-toned fabrics, broad cushions clumped along the thick carpets, and overlooked by ornate golden cages filled with birds of all shapes and sizes. Iโd spied peacocks parading about the countless courtyards and gardens as weโd walked through Thesanโs home, some preening in the shade beneath potted fig trees.
โHow did Thesan keep Amarantha from trashing this place?โ I asked Rhys as we surveyed the sitting room that opened to the hazy sprawl of countryside far, far below.
โItโs his private residence.โ Rhys dismissed his wings and slumped onto a pile of emerald cushions near the darkened fireplace. โHe likely shielded it the same way Kallias and I did.โ
A decision that would weigh heavily on them for many centuries, I had no doubt.
But I looked to Azriel, currently leaning against the wall beside the floor-to-ceiling window, shadows fluttering around him. Even the birds in their cages nearby remained silent.
I said down the bond,ย Is he all right?
Rhys tucked his hands behind his head, though his mouth tightened.ย Likely not, but if we try to talk to him about it, itโll only make it worse.
Mor was indeed sprawled on a couchโone wary eye on Azriel. Cassian sat beside her, holding her feet in his lap. Heโd taken the spot closer to Azriel
โright between them. As if heโd leap into their path if need be.
You handled it beautifully,ย Rhys added.ย All of it.ย Despite my explosion?
Becauseย of your explosion.
I met his stare, sensing the emotions swirling beneath as I claimed a seat in an overstuffed chair near my mateโs pillow-mound.ย I knew that you were powerful. But I didnโt realize that you had such an advantage on the others.
Rhysโs eyes shuttered, even as he gave me a half smile.ย Iโm not sure even Beron knew until today. Suspected, maybe, but โฆ Heโll now be wishing heโd found a way to kill me in the cradle.
A shiver skittered down my spine.ย He knows about Elain being Lucienโs mate. He makes a move to harm or take her, and heโs dead.
Uncompromising will swept over the stars in his eyes.ย Iโll kill him myself if he does. Or hold him long enough for you to do the job. I think Iโd enjoy watching you.
Iโll keep it in mind for your next birthday.ย I drummed my fingers on the polished arm of the chair, the wood as smooth as glass.ย Do you really believe Tamlinโs claim that heโs been working for our side?
Yes.ย A beat of silence down the bond.ย And perhaps we did him a disservice by not even considering the possibility. Perhaps even I started to think him some warrior brute.
I felt tiredโin my bones, my breath.ย Does it change anything, though? In some ways, yes. In others โฆย Rhys surveyed me. No. No, it does not.
I blinked, realizing Iโd been lost in the bond, but found Azriel still by the window, Cassian now rubbing Morโs feet. Nesta had retired to her own room without a wordโand remained there. I wondered if Beronโs leaving despite her words โฆ Perhaps it had thrown her.
I got to my feet, straightening the folds of my shimmering gown.ย I should check on Nesta. Talk to her.
Rhys nestled deeper into his spread of pillows, tucking his hands behind his head.ย She did well today.
Pride fluttered at the praise as I crossed the room. But I got as far as the foyer archway when a knock thudded on the door that opened into the sunny hallway. I halted, the sheer panels of my dress swaying, sparkling like pale blue fire in the golden light.
โDonโt open it,โ Mor warned from her spot on the couch. โEven with the shield, donโt open it.โ
Rhys uncoiled to his feet. โWise,โ he said, prowling past me to the front door, โbut unnecessary.โ He opened the door, revealing Helionโalone.
Helion braced a hand on the door frame and grinned. โHowโd you convince Thesan to give you the better view?โ
โHe finds my males to be prettier than yours, I think.โ โI think itโs a wing fetish.โ
Rhys laughed and opened the door wider, beckoning him in. โYouโve really mastered the swaggering prick performance, by the way. Expertly done.โ
Helionโs robe swayed with his graceful steps, brushing his powerful thighs. He spied me standing by the round table in the center of the foyer and bowed. Deeply.
โApologies for the bastard act,โ he said to me. โOld habits and all.โ
Here it wasโthe amusement and joy in his amber eyes. The lightness that led to my own glow when lost to pure bliss. Helion frowned at Rhys. โYouย were on unnaturally nice behavior today. I was betting Beron would be dead by the end of itโyou canโt imagine my shock that he walked out alive.โ
โMy mate suggested it would be in our favor to appear as we truly are.โ โWell, now I look as bad as Beron.โ He strode straight past me with a
wink, stalking into the sitting room. He grinned at Azriel. โYou handing Erisโs ass to him will be my new fantasy at night, by the way.โ
Azriel didnโt so much as bother to look over his shoulder at the High Lord.
But Cassian snorted. โI was wondering when the come-ons would begin.โ
Helion threw himself onto the couch across from Cassian and Mor. Heโd ditched that radiant crown somewhere, but kept that gold armband of the upright serpent. โItโs been whatโfour centuries now, and you three still havenโt accepted my offer.โ
Mor lolled her head to the side. โI donโt like to share, unfortunately.โ โYou never know until you try,โ Helion purred.
The three of them in bed โฆ with him? I must have been blinking like a fool because Rhys said to me,ย Helion favors both males and females. Usually together in his bed. And has been hounding after that trio for centuries.
I consideredโHelionโs beauty and the others โฆย Why the hell havenโt they said yes?
Rhys barked a laugh that had all of them looking at him with raised brows. My mate just came up behind me and slid his arms around my waist, pressing a kiss to my neck.ย Would you like someone to join us in bed, Feyre
darling?
My skin stretched tight over my bones at the tone, the suggestion.ย Youโre incorrigible.
I think youโd like two males worshipping you. My toes curled.
Mor cleared her throat. โWhatever youโre saying mind to mind, either share it or go to another room so we donโt have to sit here, stewing in your scents.โ
I stuck out my tongue. Rhys laughed again, kissing my neck once more before saying, โApologies for offending your delicate sensibilities, cousin.โ
I pushed out of his embrace, out of the touch that still made me dizzy enough that basic thought became difficult, and claimed a chair adjacent to Mor and Cassianโs couch.
Cassian said to Helion, โAre your forces ready?โ
Helionโs amusement fadedโreshaping into that hard, calculating exterior. โYes. Theyโll rendezvous with yours in the Myrmidons.โ
The mountain range we shared at our border. Heโd refused to divulge such information earlier.
โGood,โ Cassian said, rubbing at the arch of Morโs foot. โWeโll push south from there.โ
โWith the final encampment being where?โ Mor asked, withdrawing her foot from Cassianโs hands and tucking both feet beneath her. Helion traced the curve of her bare leg, his amber eyes a bit glazed as he met hers.
Mor didnโt balk from the heated look. And a keen sort of awareness seemed to overtake herโlike every nerve in her body shook awake. I didnโt dare look toward Azriel.
There must have been multiple shields around the room, around every crack and opening where spying eyes and ears might be waiting, because Cassian said, โWe join Thesanโs forces, then eventually make camp along
Kalliasโs southwestern borderโnear the Summer Court.โ
Helion drew his gaze from Mor long enough to ask Rhys, โYou and pretty Tarquin had a moment today. Do you truly think heโll join us?โ
โIf you mean in bed, definitely not,โ Rhys said with a wry smile as he again sprawled on his spread of cushions. โBut if you mean in this war โฆ Yes. I believe he means to fight. Beron, on the other hand โฆโ
โHybern is focusing on the South,โ Helion said. โAnd regardless of whatย youย think Tamlinโs up to, the Spring Court is now mostly occupied. Beron has to realize his court will be a battleground if he doesnโt join us to push southwardโespecially if Summer has joined us.โ
Meaning the Spring Court and human lands would see the brunt of the battles.
โWill Beron choose to listen to reason, though?โ Mor mused.
Helion tapped a finger against the carved arm of his couch. โHe played games in the War and it cost himโdearly. His people still remember those choicesโthose losses. His own damn wife remembers.โ
Helion had looked at the Lady of Autumn repeatedly during the meeting. I asked, carefully and casually, โWhat do you mean?โ
Mor shook her headโnot at what Iโd said, but at whatever had occurred.
Helion fixed his full attention upon me. It was an effort not to flinch at the weight of that focus, the simmering intensity. The muscled body was only a maskโto hide that cunning mind beneath. I wondered if Rhys had picked that up from him.
Helion folded an ankle over a knee. โThe Lady of the Autumn Courtโs two older sisters were indeed โฆโ He searched for a word. โButchered. Tormented, and then butchered, during the War.โ
I shut out Nestaโs screaming, shut out Elainโs sobbing as she was hauled toward that Cauldron.
Lucienโs aunts. Dead before heโd ever existed. Had his mother ever told him this story?
Rhys explained to me, โHybernโs forces had swarmed our lands by that point.โ
Helionโs jaw clenched. โThe Lady of the Autumn Court was sent to stay with her sisters, her younger children packed off to other relatives. To spread out the bloodline.โ He dragged a hand through his sable hair. โHybern attacked their estate. Her sisters bought her time to run. Not because she was married to Beron, but because they loved each other. Fiercely. She tried to
stay, but they convinced her to go. So she didโshe ran and ran, but Hybernโs beasts were still faster. Stronger. They cornered her at a ravine, where she became trapped atop a ledge, the beasts snapping at her feet.โ
He didnโt speak for a long moment.
Too many details. He knew so many details.
I said quietly, โYou saved her. You found her, didnโt you?โ
A coronet of light seemed to flicker over that thick black hair. โI did.โ
There was enough weight, anger, and something else in those two words that I studied the High Lord of Day.
โWhat happened?โ
Helion didnโt break my stare. โI tore the beasts apart with my bare hands.โ A chill slid down my spine. โWhy?โ
He could have ended it a thousand other ways. Easier ways. Cleaner ways. Rhysโs bloody hands after the Ravensโ attack flashed through my mind.
Helion didnโt so much as shift in his chair. โShe was still youngโthough sheโd been married to that delightful male for nearly two decades. Married too young, the marriage arranged when she was twenty.โ
The words were clipped. And twentyโso young. Nearly as young as Mor had been when her own family tried to marry her to Eris.
โSo?โ A dangerous, taunting question.
And how his eyes burned at that, flaring bright as suns.
But it was Mor who said coolly, โI heard a rumor once, Helion, that she waited before agreeing to that marriage. For a certain someone who had met her by chance at an equinox ball the year before.โ
I tried not to blink, not to let any of my rising interest surface.
The fire banked to embers and Helion threw a half smile in Morโs direction. โInteresting. I heard her family wanted internal ties to power, and that they didnโt give her a choice before they sold her to Beron.โ
Sold her. Morโs nostrils flared. Cassian ran a hand down the back of her hair. Azriel didnโt so much as turn from his vigil at the window, though I could have sworn his wings tucked in a bit tighter.
โToo bad theyโre just rumors,โ Rhys cut in smoothly, โand canโt be confirmed by anyone.โ
Helion merely toyed with the gold cuff on his sculpted arm, twisting the serpent to the center of his bicep. But I furrowed my brows. โDoes Beron know you saved his wife in the War?โ He hadnโt mentioned anything during the meeting.
Helion let out a dark laugh. โCauldron, no.โ There was enough wry, knowing humor that I straightened.
โYou hadโan affair after you rescued her?โ
The amusement only grew, and Helion pushed a finger against his lips in mock warning. โCareful, High Lady. Even the birds report to Thesan here.โ
I frowned at the birds in cages throughout the room, still silent in Azrielโs shadowy presence.
I threw shields around them, Rhys said down the bond.
โHow long did the affair last?โ I asked. That withdrawn female โฆ I couldnโt imagine it.
Helion snorted. โIs that a polite question for a High Lady to be asking?โ But the way he spoke, that smile โฆ
I only waited, using silence to push him instead.
Helion shrugged. โOn and off for decades. Until Beron found out. They say the lady was all brightness and smiles before that. And after Beron was through with her โฆ You saw what she is.โ
โWhat did he do to her?โ
โThe same things he does now.โ Helion waved a hand. โBelittle her, leave bruises where no one but him will see them.โ
I clenched my teeth. โIf you were her lover, why didnโt you stop it?โ
The wrong thing to say. Utterly wrong, by the dark fury that rippled across Helionโs face. โBeron is a High Lord, and she is his wife, mother of his brood. She chose to stay.ย Chose. And with the protocols and rules,ย Lady, you will find that most situations like the one you were in doย notย end well for those who interfere.โ
I didnโt back down, didnโt apologize. โYou barely even looked at her today.โ
โWe have more important matters at hand.โ โBeron never called you out for it?โ
โTo publicly do so would be to admit that hisย possessionย made a fool of him. So we continue our little dance, these centuries later.โ I somehow doubted that beneath that roguish charm and irreverence, Helion felt it was a dance at all.
But if it had ended centuries ago, and sheโd never seen him again, had let Beron treat her so abominably โฆ
Whatever youโve just figured out, Rhys said,ย youโd better stop looking so shocked by it.
I forced a smile to my face. โYou High Lords really do love your melodrama, donโt you?โ
Helionโs own smile didnโt reach his eyes. But Rhys asked, โIn your libraries, have you ever encountered a mention of how the wall might be repaired?โ
Helion began asking why we wanted to know, what Hybern was doing with the Cauldron โฆ and Rhys fed him answers, easily and smoothly.
While we spoke, I said down the bond,ย Helion is Lucienโs father. Rhys was silent. Thenโ
Holy burning hell.
His shock was a shooting star between us.
I let my gaze dart through the room, half paying attention to Helionโs musing on the wall and how to repair it, then dared study the High Lord for a heartbeat.ย Look at him. The nose is the same, the smile. The voice. Even Lucienโs skin is darker than his brothersโ.ย A golden brown compared to their pale coloring.
It would explain why his father and brothers detest him so muchโwhy they have tormented him his entire life.
My heart squeezed at that.ย And why Eris didnโt want him dead. He wasnโt a threat to Erisโs powerโhis throne.ย I swallowed.ย Helion has no idea, does he?
It would seem not.
The Lady of Autumnโs favorite sonโnot only from Lucienโs goodness. But because he was the child sheโd dreamed of having โฆ with the male she undoubtedly loved.
Beron must have discovered the affair when she was pregnant with Lucien. He likely suspected, but there was no way to prove itโnot if she was sharing his bed, too.ย Rhysโs disgust was a tang in my mouth.ย I have no doubt Beron debated killing her for the betrayal, and even afterward. When Lucien could be passable as his own offspringโjust enough to make him doubt who
had sired his last son.
I wrapped my head around it. Lucien not Beronโs son, but Helionโs.ย His power is flame, though. Theyโve mused Beronโs title could go to him.
His motherโs family is strongโthat was why Beron wanted a bride from their line. The gift could be hers.
You never suspected?
Not once. Iโm mortified I didnโt even consider it.ย What does this mean, though?
Nothingโultimately nothing. Other than the fact that Lucien might be Helionโs sole heir.
And that โฆ it changed nothing in this war. Especially not with Lucien on the continent, hunting that enchanted queen. A bird of flame โฆ and a lord of fire. I wondered if theyโd found each other yet.
A door opened and shut in the foyer beyond, and I braced myself as Nesta appeared. Helion paused his debating the wall to survey her carefully, as he had done earlier.
Spell-Cleaver. That was his title.
She surveyedย himย with her usual disdain.
But Helion gave her the same bow heโd offered meโthough his smile was edged with enough sensuality that even my heart raced a bit. No wonder the Lady of Autumn hadnโt stood a chance. โI donโt think we were introduced properly earlier,โ he crooned to Nesta. โIโmโโ
โI donโt care,โ Nesta said with a snap of her wrist, striding right past him and up to my side. โIโd like a word,โ she said. โNow.โ
Cassian was biting his knuckle to keep from laughingโat the utter surprise and shock on Helionโs face. It wasnโt every day, I supposed, that anyone of either sex dismissed him so thoroughly. I threw the High Lord a semi-apologetic glance and led my sister out of the room.
โWhat is it?โ I asked when Nesta and I had entered her bedroom, the space bedecked in pink silk and gold, accents of ivory scattered throughout. The lavishness of it indeed put our various homes to shame.
โWe need to leave,โ Nesta said. โRight now.โ Every sense went on alert. โWhy?โ
โIt feels wrong. Something feels wrong.โ
I studied her, the clear sky beyond the towering, drape-framed windows. โRhys and the others would sense it. Youโre likely just picking up on all the power gathered here.โ
โSomething isย wrong,โ Nesta insisted.
โIโm not doubting you feel that way but โฆ If none of the others are picking it upโโ
โI am notย likeย the others.โ Her throat bobbed. โWe need to leave.โ
โI can send you back to Velaris, but we have things to discuss hereโโ โI donโt care about me, Iโโ
The door opened, and Cassian stalked in, face grave. The sight of the wings, the Illyrian armor in this opulent, pink-filled room planted itself in my
mind, the painting already taking form, as he said, โWhatโs wrong.โ
He studied every inch of her. As if there were nothing and no one else here, anywhere.
But I said, โShe senses something is offโsays we need to leave right away.โ
I waited for the dismissal, but Cassian angled his head. โWhat, precisely, feels wrong?โ
Nesta stiffened, mouth pursing as she weighed his tone. โIt feels like thereโs this โฆ dread. This sense that โฆ that I forgot something but canโt remember what.โ
Cassian stared at her for a moment longer. โIโll tell Rhys.โ And he did.
Within moments, Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel had vanished, leaving Mor and Helion in alert silence. I waited with Nesta. Five minutes. Ten. Fifteen.
Thirty minutes later, they returned, shaking their heads. Nothing.
Not in the palace, not in the lands around it, not in the skies above or the earth below. Not for miles and miles. Nothing. Rhys even checked with Amren, and found nothing amiss in VelarisโElain, mercifully, safe and sound.
None of them, however, were stupid enough to suggest that Nesta had made it up. Not with that otherworldly power in her veins. Or that perhaps the dread was a lingering effect of her time in Hybern. Like the crushing panic that Iโd struggled to face down, that still stalked me some nights.
So we stayed. We ate in our private dining room, Helion joining us, no sign of Tarquin or Thesanโcertainly not Tamlin.
Kallias and Viviane appeared midway through the meal, and Mor kicked Cassian out of his seat to make space for her friend. They chatted and gossipedโeven though Mor kept glancing at Helion.
And the High Lord of Day kept glancing at her.
Azriel barely spoke, those shadows still perched on his shoulders. Mor barely looked at him.
But we dined and drank for hours, until night was overhead. And though Rhys and Kallias were tense, careful around each other โฆ By the end of the meal, they were at least talking.
Nesta was the first to leave the table, still wary and on edge. The others made one final check of the grounds before we tumbled into the silk sheets of our cloud-soft beds.
Rhys and I left Mor and Helion talking knee to knee on the sitting room cushions, Viviane and Kallias long returned to their suite. I had no idea where Azriel went off toโor Cassian, for that matter.
And when I emerged from washing up in the ivory-and-gold bathing room and Helionโs deep murmur and Morโs sultry laugh flitted in from the hallโ when it moved past our door and thenย herย door creaked open and closed โฆ
Rhysandโs wings were folded in tightly as he surveyed the stars beyond the bedroom windows. Quieter and smaller here, somehow.
โWhy?โ
He knew what I meant.
โMor gets spooked. And what Az did today scared the shit out of her.โ โThe violence?โ
โThe violence as a result of what he feels, lingering guilt over the deal with Erisโand what neither of them will face.โ
โDonโt you think itโs been long enough? And that taking Helion to bed is likely theย worstย possible thing to do?โ
But I had no doubt Helion needed a distraction as much as Mor did. From thinking too long about the people they lovedโwho they could not have.
โMor and Azriel have both taken lovers throughout the centuries,โ he said, wings shifting slightly. โThe only difference here is the close proximity.โ
โYou sound remarkably fine with this.โ
Rhys glanced over a shoulder to where I lingered by the foot of the massive ivory bed, its carved headboard fashioned after overlapping waterlilies. โItโs their lifeโtheir relationship. They have both had plenty of opportunities to confess what they feel. Yet they have not. Mor especially. For private reasons of her own, Iโm sure. My meddling isnโt going to make it any better.โ
โButโbut heย lovesย her. How can he sit idly by?โ
โHe thinks sheโs happier without him.โ His eyes shone with the memoryโ of his own choice to sit back. โHe thinks heโs unworthy of her.โ
โIt seems like an Illyrian trait.โ
Rhys snorted, returning to the stars. I came up to his side and slid my arm around his waist. He opened his arm to me, cupping my shoulder as I rested my head against that soft spot where his own shoulder met his chest. A heartbeat later, his wing curved around me, too, enveloping me in his shadowed warmth. โThere will come a day when Azriel has to decide if he is going to fight for her or let her go. And it wonโt be because some other male
insults her or beds her.โ
โAnd what about Cassian? Heโs entangledโand enabling this nonsense.โ
A wry smile. โCassian is going to have to decide some things, too. In the near future, I think.โ
โAre he and Nesta โฆ?โ
โI donโt know. Until the bond snaps into place, it can be hard to detect.โ Rhys swallowed once, gaze fixed on the stars. I simply waited. โTamlin still loves you, you know.โ
โI know.โ
โThat was an ugly encounter.โ
โAll of it was ugly,โ I said. What Beron and Tamlin had brought up with Amarantha, what Rhys had been forced to reveal โฆ โAre you all right?โ I could still feel the clamminess of his hand upon mine as he spoke of what Amarantha had done.
He brushed a thumb down my shoulder. โIt wasnโt โฆ easy.โ He amended, โI thought Iโd vomit all over the floor.โ
I squeezed him a little tighter. โIโm sorry you had to share those thingsโ sorry you โฆ sorry for all of it, Rhys.โ I breathed in his scent, taking it deep into my lungs. Outโwe had made it out. โAnd I know it likely means nothing, but โฆ Iโm proud of you. That you were brave enough to tell them.โ
โIt doesnโt mean nothing,โ he said softly. โThat you feel that way about me
โabout today.โ He kissed my temple, and warmth flickered along the bond. โIt means โฆโ His wing curved closer around me. โI donโt have the words to tell you what it means.โ But as that love, that joy and light shimmered through the bond โฆ I understood.
He peered down at me. โAnd are you โฆ all right?โ
I nestled my head further into his chest. โI just feel โฆ tired. Sad. Sad that it turned so awfulโand yet โฆ yetย furiousย about everything that happened to me, to my sisters. I โฆโ I blew out a long breath. When I was back at the Spring Court โฆโ I swallowed. โI lookedโfor their wings.โ
Rhys went utterly still, and I took his hand, squeezing hard as he only said, โDid you find them?โ The words were barely a brush of air.
I shook my head, but said before the grief on his face could grow, โI learned that he burned themโlong ago.โ
Rhys said nothing for a lingering moment, his attention returning to the stars. โThank you for even thinkingโfor risking to look for them.โ The only traceโthe horrific remnantsโof his mother and sister. โI didnโt โฆ Iโm glad
he burned them,โ Rhys admitted. โI could happily kill him, for so many things, and yet โฆโ He rubbed his chest. โIโm glad he offered them that peace, at least.โ
I nodded. โI know.โ I ran my thumb over the back of his hand. And perhaps because of the raw, stark quiet, I confessed, โIt feels strange, to share a room, a bed, with you under the same roof as him.โ
โI can imagine.โ
For somewhere in this palace, Tamlinย wasย lying in bedโwell aware that I was about to enter this one with Rhysand. The past tangled and snarled, and I whispered, โI donโt thinkโI donโt think I can have sex here. With him so close.โ Rhys remained quiet. โIโm sorry ifโโ
โYou donโt need to apologize. Ever.โ
I looked up, finding his gaze on meโnot angry or frustrated, but โฆ sad. Knowing. โI want to share this bed with you, though,โ I breathed. โI want you to hold me.โ
Stars flickered to life in his eyes. โAlways,โ he promised, kissing my brow, his wings now enveloping me completely. โAlways.โ