It was a party like any otherโeven if it would likely be my last. Faeries drank and lounged and danced, laughing and singing bawdy and ethereal songs. No glimmer of anticipation for what might occur tomorrowโwhat I stood to alter for them, for their world. Perhaps they knew I would die, too.
I lurked by a wall, forgotten by the crowd, waiting for Rhysand to beckon me to drink the wine and dance or do whatever it was he wished of me. I was clothed in my typical attire, tattooed from the neck down with that blue-black paint. Tonight my gossamer gown was a shade of sunset pink, the color too bright and feminine against the whorls of paint on my skin. Too cheery for what awaited me tomorrow.
Rhysand was taking longer than usual to summon meโthough it was probably because of the supple-bodied faerie perched in his lap, caressing his hair
with her long greenish fingers. Heโd tire of her soon.
I didnโt bother to look at Amarantha. I was better off pretending she wasnโt there. Lucien never spoke to me in public, and Tamlin โฆ It had become difficult to look at him in recent days.
I just wanted it done. I wanted that wine to carry me through this last night and bring me to my fate. I was so intent on anticipating Rhysandโs order to serve him that I didnโt notice that someone stood beside me until the heat from his body leaked onto mine.
I went rigid when I smelled that rain and earthen scent, and didnโt dare to turn to Tamlin. We stood side by side, staring out at the crowd, as still and unnoticeable as statues.
His fingers brushed mine, and a line of fire went through me, burning me so badly that my eyes pricked with tears. I wishedโwished he wasnโt touching my marred hand, that his fingers didnโt have to caress the contours of that wretched tattoo.
But I lived in that momentโmy life became beautiful again for those few seconds when our
hands grazed.
I kept my face set in a mask of cold. He dropped his hand, and, as quickly as he had come, he sauntered off, weaving through the crowd. It was only when he glanced over his shoulder and inclined his head ever so slightly that I understood. My heart beat faster than it ever had during my trials, and I made myself look as bored as possible before I pushed off the wall and casually strolled after him. I took a different route, but headed toward the small door half hidden by a tapestry near which he lingered. I had only moments before Rhysand would begin looking for me, but a moment
alone with Tamlin would be enough.
I could scarcely breathe as I moved nearer and nearer to the door, past Amaranthaโs dais, past a group of giggling faeries โฆ Tamlin disappeared through the door as quick as lightning, and I slowed my steps to a meandering pace. These days no one really paid attention to me until I became Rhysโs drugged plaything. All too quickly, the door was before me, and it swung open noiselessly to let me in.
Darkness encompassed me. I saw only a flash of green and gold before the warmth of Tamlinโs body slammed into me and our lips met.
I couldnโt kiss him deeply enough, couldnโt hold him tightly enough, couldnโt touch enough of him. Words werenโt necessary.
I tore at his shirt, needing to feel the skin beneath one last time, and I had to stifle the moan that rose up in me as he grasped my breast. I didnโt want him to be gentleโbecause what I felt for him wasnโt at all like that. What I felt was wild and hard and burning, and so he was with me.
He tore his lips from mine and bit my neckโbit it as he had on Fire Night. I had to grind my teeth to keep myself from moaning and giving us away. This might be the last time I touched him, the last time we could be together. I wouldnโt waste it.
My fingers grappled with his belt buckle, and his mouth found mine again. Our tongues dancedโ not a waltz or a minuet, but a war dance, a death dance of bone drums and screaming fiddles.
I wanted himโhere.
I hooked a leg around his middle, needing to be
closer, and he ground his hips harder against me, crushing me into the icy wall. I pried the belt buckle loose, whipping the leather free, and Tamlin growled his desire in my earโa low, probing sort of sound that made me see red and white and lightning. We both knew what tomorrow would bring.
I tossed away his belt and started fumbling for his pants. Someone coughed.
โShameful,โ Rhysand purred, and we whirled to find him faintly illuminated by the light that broke in through the doorway. But he stood behind usโ farther into the passage, rather than toward the door. He hadnโt come in through the throne room. With that ability of his, he had probably walked through the walls. โJust shameful.โ He stalked toward us. Tamlin remained holding me. โLook at what youโve done to my pet.โ
Panting, neither of us said anything. But the air became a cold kiss upon my skinโupon my exposed breasts.
โAmarantha would be greatly aggrieved if she knew her little warrior was dallying with the
human help,โ Rhysand went on, crossing his arms. โI wonder how sheโd punish you. Or perhaps sheโd stay true to habit and punish Lucien. He still has one eye to lose, after all. Maybe sheโll put it in a ring, too.โ
Ever so slowly, Tamlin removed my hands from his body and stepped out of my embrace.
โIโm glad to see youโre being reasonable,โ Rhysand said, and Tamlin bristled. โNow, be a clever High Lord and buckle your belt and fix your clothes before you go out there.โ
Tamlin looked at me, and, to my horror, did as Rhysand instructed. My High Lord never took his eyes off my face as he straightened his tunic and hair, then retrieved and fastened his belt again. The paint on his hands and clothesโpaint fromย meโ vanished.
โEnjoy the party,โ Rhysand crooned, pointing to the door.
Tamlinโs green eyes flickered as they continued to stare into mine. He softly said, โI love you.โ Without another glance at Rhysand, he left.
I was temporarily blinded by the brightness that
poured in when he opened the door and slipped out. He did not look back at me before the door snicked shut and darkness returned to the dim hall.
Rhysand chuckled. โIf youโre that desperate for release, you should have asked me.โ
โPig,โ I snapped, covering my breasts with the folds of my gown.
With a few easy steps, he crossed the distance between us and pinned my arms to the wall. My bones groaned. I could have sworn shadow-talons dug into the stones beside my head. โDo you actually intend to put yourself at my mercy, or are you truly that stupid?โ His voice was composed of sensuous, bone-breaking ire.
โIโm not your slave.โ
โYouโre a fool, Feyre. Do you have any idea what could have happened had Amarantha found you two in here? Tamlin might refuse to be her lover, but she keeps him at her side out of the hope that sheโll break himโdominate him, as she loves to do with our kind.โ I kept silent. โYouโre both fools,โ he murmured, his breathing uneven. โHow did you not think that someone would notice you
were gone? You should thank the Cauldron Lucienโs delightful brothers werenโt watching you.โ
โWhat do you care?โ I barked, and his grip tightened enough on my wrists that I knew my bones would snap with a little more pressure.
โWhat do I care?โ he breathed, wrath twisting his features. Wingsโthose membranous, glorious wingsโflared from his back, crafted from the shadows behind him. โWhat doย Iย care?โ
But before he could go on, his head snapped to the door, then back to my face. The wings vanished as quickly as they had appeared, and then his lips were crushing into mine. His tongue pried my mouth open, forcing himself into me, into the space where I could still taste Tamlin. I pushed and thrashed, but he held firm, his tongue sweeping over the roof of my mouth, against my teeth, claiming my mouth, claiming meโ
The door was flung wide, and Amaranthaโs curved figure filled its space. TamlinโTamlin was beside her, his eyes slightly wide, shoulders tight as Rhysโs lips still crushed mine.
Amarantha laughed, and a mask of stone slammed down on Tamlinโs face, void of feeling, void of anything vaguely like the Tamlin Iโd been tangled up with moments before.
Rhys casually released me with a flick of his tongue over my bottom lip as a crowd of High Fae appeared behind Amarantha and chimed in with her laughter. Rhysand gave them a lazy, self-indulgent grin and bowed. But something sparked in the queenโs eyes as she looked at Rhysand. Amaranthaโs whore, theyโd called him.
โI knew it was a matter of time,โ she said, putting a hand on Tamlinโs arm. The other she liftedโlifted so Jurianโs eye might see as she said, โYou humans are all the same, arenโt you.โ
I kept my mouth shut, even as I could have died for shame, even as I ached to explain. Tamlinย hadย to realize the truth.
But I wasnโt given the luxury of learning whether Tamlin understood as Amarantha clicked her tongue and turned away, taking her entourage with her. โTypical human trash with their inconstant, dull hearts,โ she said to herselfโnothing more than
a satisfied cat.
Following them, Rhys grabbed my arm to drag me back into the throne room. It was only when the light hit me that I saw the smudges and smears on my paintโsmudges along my breasts and stomach, and the paint that had mysteriously appeared on Rhysandโs hands.
โIโm tired of you for tonight,โ Rhys said, giving me a light shove toward the main exit. โGo back to your cell.โ Behind him, Amarantha and her court smiled with glee, their grins widening when they beheld the marred paint. I looked for Tamlin, but he was stalking for his usual throne on the dais, keeping his back to me. As if he couldnโt stand to look.
I donโt know what time it was, but hours later, footsteps sounded inside my cell. I jolted into a sitting position, and Rhys stepped out of a shadow. I could still feel the heat of his lips against mine, the smooth glide of his tongue inside my mouth,
even though Iโd washed my mouth out three times with the bucket of water in my cell.
His tunic was unbuttoned at the top, and he ran a hand through his blue-black hair before he wordlessly slumped against the wall across from me and slid to the floor.
โWhat do you want?โ I demanded.
โA moment of peace and quiet,โ he snapped, rubbing his temples.
I paused. โFrom what?โ
He massaged his pale skin, making the corners of his eyes go up and down, out and in. He sighed. โFrom this mess.โ
I sat up farther on my pallet of hay. Iโd never seen him so candid.
โThat damned bitch is running me ragged,โ he went on, and dropped his hands from his temples to lean his head against the wall. โYou hate me. Imagine how youโd feel if I made you serve in my bedroom. Iโm High Lord of the Night Courtโnot her harlot.โ
So the slurs were true. And I could imagine very easily how much I would hate himโwhat it would
do to meโto be enslaved to someone like that. โWhy are you telling me this?โ
The swagger and nastiness were gone. โBecause Iโm tired and lonely, and youโre the only person I can talk to without putting myself at risk.โ He let out a low laugh. โHow absurd: a High Lord of Prythian and aโโ
โYou can leave if youโre just going to insult me.โ
โBut Iโm so good at it.โ He flashed one of his grins. I glared at him, but he sighed. โOne wrong move tomorrow, Feyre, and weโre all doomed.โ
The thought struck a chord of such horror that I could hardly breathe.
โAnd if you fail,โ he went on, more to himself than to me, โthen Amarantha will rule forever.โ
โIf she captured Tamlinโs power once, whoโs to say she canโt do it again?โ It was the question I hadnโt yet dared voice.
โHe wonโt be tricked again so easily,โ he said, staring up at the ceiling. โHer biggest weapon is that she keeps our powers contained. But she canโt access them, not whollyโthough she can control
us through them. Itโs why Iโve never been able to shatter her mindโwhy sheโs not dead already. The moment you break Amaranthaโs curse, Tamlinโs wrath will be so great that no force in the world will keep him from splattering her on the walls.โ
A chill went through me.
โWhy do you think Iโm doing this?โ He waved a hand to me.
โBecause youโre a monster.โ
He laughed. โTrue, but Iโm also a pragmatist. Working Tamlin into a senseless fury is the best weapon we have against her. Seeing you enter into a foolโs bargain with Amarantha was one thing, but when Tamlin saw my tattoo on your arm โฆ Oh, you should have been born with my abilities, if only to have felt the rage that seeped from him.โ
I didnโt want to think much about his abilities. โWhoโs to say he wonโt splatter you as well?โ
โPerhaps heโll tryโbut I have a feeling heโll kill Amarantha first. Thatโs what it all boils down to, anyway: even your servitude to me can be blamed on her. So heโll kill her tomorrow, and Iโll be free before he can start a fight with me that will reduce
our once-sacred mountain to rubble.โ He picked at his nails. โAnd I have a few other cards to play.โ
I lifted my brows in silent question.
โFeyre, for Cauldronโs sake. I drug you, but you donโt wonder why I never touch you beyond your waist or arms?โ
Until tonightโuntil that damned kiss. I gritted my teeth, but even as my anger rose, a picture cleared.
โItโs the only claim I have to innocence,โ he said, โthe only thing that will make Tamlin think twice before entering into a battle with me that would cause a catastrophic loss of innocent life. Itโs the only way I can convince him I was on your side. Believe me, I would have liked nothing more than to enjoy youโbut there are bigger things at stake than taking a human woman to my bed.โ
I knew, but I still asked, โLike what?โ
โLike my territory,โ he said, and his eyes held a far-off look that I hadnโt yet seen. โLike my remaining people, enslaved to a tyrant queen who can end their lives with a single word. Surely Tamlin expressed similar sentiments to you.โ He
hadnโtโnot entirely. He hadnโt been able to, thanks to the curse.
โWhy did Amarantha target you?โ I dared ask. โWhy make you her whore?โ
โBeyond the obvious?โ He gestured to his perfect face. When I didnโt smile, he loosed a breath. โMy father killed Tamlinโs fatherโand his brothers.โ
I started. Tamlin had never saidโnever told me the Night Court was responsible for that.
โItโs a long story, and I donโt feel like getting into it, but letโs just say that when she stole our lands out from under us, Amarantha decided that she especially wanted to punish the son of her friendโs murdererโdecided that she hated me enough for my fatherโs deeds that I was to suffer.โ
I might have reached a hand toward him, might have offered my apologiesโbut every thought had dried up in my head. What Amarantha had done to him โฆ
โSo,โ he said wearily, โhere we are, with the fate of our immortal world in the hands of an illiterate human.โ His laugh was unpleasant as he
hung his head, cupping his forehead in a hand, and closed his eyes. โWhat a mess.โ
Part of me searched for the words to wound him in his vulnerability, but the other half recalled all that he had said, all that he had done, how his head had snapped to the door before heโd kissed me. Heโd known Amarantha was coming. Maybe heโd done it to make her jealous, but maybe โฆ
If he hadnโt been kissing me, if he hadnโt shown up and interrupted us, I would have gone out into that throne room covered in smudged paint. And everyoneโespecially Amaranthaโwould have known what Iโd been up to. It wouldnโt have taken much to figure out whom Iโd been with, especially not once they saw the paint on Tamlin. I didnโt want to consider what the punishment might have been.
Regardless of his motives or his methods, Rhysand was keeping me alive. And had done so even before I set foot Under the Mountain.
โIโve told you too much,โ he said as he got to his feet. โPerhaps I should have drugged you first. If you were clever, youโd find a way to use this
against me. And if you had any stomach for cruelty, youโd go to Amarantha and tell her the truth about her whore. Perhaps sheโd give you Tamlin for it.โ He slid his hands into the pockets of his black pants, but even as he faded into shadow, there was something in the curve of his shoulders that made me speak.
โWhen you healed my arm โฆ You didnโt need to bargain with me. You could have demanded every single week of the year.โ My brows knit together as he turned, already half-consumed by the dark. โEvery single week, and I would have said yes.โ It wasnโt entirely a question, but I needed the answer.
A half smile appeared on his sensuous lips. โI know,โ he said, and vanished.