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Chapter no 32

A Court of Thorns and Roses

I gave myself a minuteโ€”just one minuteโ€”to kneel in the remnants of the entry hall.

Then I eased to my feet, careful not to disturb any of the shattered glass or wood orโ€”blood. There were splatters of it everywhere, along with small puddles and smears down the gouged walls.

Another forest, I told myself. Another set of tracks.

Slowly, I moved across the floor, tracing the information left. It had been a vicious fightโ€”and from the blood patterns, most of the damage to the house had been done during the fight, not afterward. The crushed glass and footprints came and went from the front and back of the house, as if the whole place had been surrounded. The intruders had needed to force their way in though the front door; theyโ€™d just completely shattered the doors to the garden.

No bodies, I kept repeating to myself. There

were no bodies, and not much gore. They had to be alive. Tamlinย hadย to be alive.

Because if he were dead โ€ฆ

I rubbed my face, taking a shuddering breath. I wouldnโ€™t let myself get that far. My hands shook as I paused before the dining room doors, both barely hanging on their hinges.

I couldnโ€™t tell if the damage was from his lashing out after Rhysandโ€™s arrival the day before my departure or if someone else had caused it. The giant table was in pieces, the windows smashed, the curtains in shreds. But no bloodโ€”there was no blood here. And from the prints in the shards of glass โ€ฆ

I studied the trail across the floor. It had been disturbed, but I could make out two setsโ€”large and side by sideโ€”leading from where the table had been. As if Tamlin and Lucien had been sitting in here as the attack happened, and walked out without a fight.

If I was right โ€ฆ then they were alive. I traced the steps to the doorway, squatting for a moment to work through the churned-up shards, dirt, and

blood. Theyโ€™d been met hereโ€”by multiple sets of prints. And headed toward the gardenโ€”

Debris crunched from down the hall. I drew my hunting knife and ducked farther into the dining room, scanning for a place to hide. But everything was in pieces. With no other option, I lunged behind the open door. I pressed a hand over my mouth to keep from breathing too loudly and peered through the crack between the door and the wall.

Something limped into the room and sniffed. I could only see its backโ€”cloaked in a plain cape, medium height โ€ฆ All it had to do to find me was shut the door. Perhaps if it came far enough into the dining room, I could slip outโ€”but that would require leaving my hiding spot. Perhaps it would just look around and then leave.

The figure sniffed again, and my stomach clenched. It could smell me. I dared a better glance at it, hoping to find a weakness, a spot for my knife, if things came down to it.

The figure turned slightly toward me.

I cried out, and the figure screeched as I shoved

away the door.ย โ€œAlis.โ€

She gaped at me, a hand on her heart, her usual brown dress torn and dirty, her apron gone entirely. Not bloodied, thoughโ€”nothing save for the slight limp that favored her right ankle as she rushed for me, her tree-bark skin bleaching birch white. โ€œYou canโ€™t be here.โ€ She took in my knife, the bow and quiver. โ€œYou were told to stay away.โ€

โ€œIs he alive?โ€ โ€œYes, butโ€”โ€

My knees buckled at the onslaught of relief. โ€œAnd Lucien?โ€

โ€œAlive as well. Butโ€”.โ€

โ€œTell me what happenedโ€”tell meย everything.โ€ I kept an eye on the window, listening to the manor and grounds around us. Not a sound.

Alis grasped my arm and pulled me from the room. She didnโ€™t speak as we hurried through the empty, too-quiet hallsโ€”all of them wrecked and bloodied, but โ€ฆ no bodies. Either theyโ€™d been hauled away, orโ€”I didnโ€™t let myself consider it as we entered the kitchen.

A fire had scorched the giant room, and it was

little more than cinders and blackened stone. After sniffing about and listening for any signs of danger, Alis released me. โ€œWhat are you doing here?โ€

โ€œI had to come back. I thought something had gone wrongโ€”I couldnโ€™t stay away. I had to help.โ€

โ€œHe told you not to come back,โ€ Alis snapped. โ€œWhere is he?โ€

Alis covered her face with her long, bony hands, her fingertips grappling into the upper edge of her mask as if trying to tear it from her face. But the mask remained, and Alis sighed as she lowered her tree-bark hands. โ€œShe took him,โ€ she said, and my blood went cold. โ€œShe took him to her court Under the Mountain.โ€

โ€œWho?โ€ But I already knew the answer. โ€œAmarantha,โ€ Alis whispered, and glanced

again around the kitchen as if fearful that speaking her name would summon her.

โ€œWhy? And who is sheโ€”whatย is she? Please,

pleaseย just tell meโ€”just give me the truth.โ€

Alis shuddered. โ€œYou want the truth, girl? Then here it is: she took him for the curseโ€”because the

seven times seven years were over, and he hadnโ€™t shattered her curse. Sheโ€™s summoned all the High Lords to her court this timeโ€”to make them watch her break him.โ€

โ€œWhat is sheโ€”wh-what curse?โ€ A curseโ€”the curseย sheย had put on this place. A curse that I had failed to even see.

โ€œAmarantha is High Queen of this land. The High Queen of Prythian,โ€ Alis breathed, her eyes wide with some memory of horror.

โ€œBut the seven High Lords rule Prythianโ€” equally. Thereโ€™s no High Queen.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s how it used to beโ€”how itโ€™s always been. Until a hundred years ago, when she appeared in these lands as an emissary from Hybern.โ€ Alis grabbed a large satchel that she must have left by the door. It was already half full of what looked like clothes and supplies.

As she began sifting through the ruined kitchen, gathering up knives and any food that had survived, I wondered at the information the Suriel had given meโ€”of a wicked faerie king who had spent centuries resenting the Treaty heโ€™d been forced to

sign, and who had sent out his deadliest commanders to infiltrate the other faerie kingdoms and courts to see if they felt as he didโ€”to see if they might consider reclaiming the human lands for themselves. I leaned against one of the soot-stained walls.

โ€œShe went from court to court,โ€ Alis went on, turning an apple over in her hands as she inspected it, deemed it good enough, and stuffed it into the bag, โ€œcharming the High Lords with talk of more trade between Hybern and Prythian, more communication, more sharing of assets. The Never-Fading Flower, they called her. And for fifty years, she lived here as a courtier bound to no court, making amends, she claimed, for her own actions and the actions of Hybern during the War.โ€

โ€œShe fought in the War against mortals?โ€

Alis paused her gathering. โ€œHer story is legend among our kindโ€”legend, and nightmare. She was the King of Hybernโ€™s most lethal generalโ€”she fought on the front lines, slaughtering humans and any High Fae and faeries who dared defend them. But she had a younger sister, Clythia, who fought at

her side, as vicious and wretched as she โ€ฆ until Clythia fell in love with a mortal warrior. Jurian.โ€ Alis loosed a shaking sigh. โ€œJurian commanded mighty human armies, but Clythia still secretly sought him out, still loved him with an unrelenting madness. She was too blind to realize that Jurian was using her for information about Amaranthaโ€™s forces. Amarantha suspected, but could not persuade Clythia to leave himโ€”and could not bring herself to kill him, not when it would cause her sister such pain.โ€ Alis clicked her tongue and began opening the cabinets, scanning their ravaged insides. โ€œAmarantha delighted in torture and killing, and yet she loved her sister enough to stay her hand.โ€

โ€œWhat happened?โ€ I breathed.

โ€œOh, Jurian betrayed Clythia. After months of stomaching being her lover, he got the information he needed, then tortured and butchered her, crucifying her with ash wood so she couldnโ€™t move while he did it. He left the pieces of her for Amarantha to find. They say Amaranthaโ€™s wrath could have brought down the skies themselves, had

her king not ordered her to stand down. But she and Jurian had their final confrontation laterโ€”and since then, Amarantha has hated humans with a rage you cannot imagine.โ€ Alis found what looked to be a jar of preserves and added it to the satchel.

โ€œAfter the two sides made the Treaty,โ€ Alis said, now going through the drawers, โ€œshe butchered her own slaves, rather than free them.โ€ I blanched. โ€œBut centuries later, the High Lords believed her when she told them that the death of her sister had changed herโ€”especially when she opened trade lines between our two territories. The High Lords never knew that those same ships that brought over Hybernian goods also brought over her own personal forces. The King of Hybern didnโ€™t know, either. But we all soon learned that, in those fifty years she was here, she had decided she wanted Prythian for her own, to begin amassing power and use our lands as a launching point to one day destroy your world once and for all, with or without her kingโ€™s blessing. So forty-nine years ago, she struck.

โ€œShe knewโ€”knew that even with her personal

army, she could never conquer the seven High Lords by numbers or power alone. But she was also cunning and cruel, and she waited until they absolutely trusted her, until they gathered at a ball in her honor, and that night she slipped a potion stolen from the King of Hybernโ€™s unholy spell book into their wine. Once they drank, the High Lords were prone, their magic laid bareโ€”and she stole their powers from where they originated inside their bodiesโ€”plucked them out as if she were taking an apple from its branch, leaving them with only the basest elements of their magic. Your Tamlinโ€”what you saw of him here was a shade of what he used to be, the power that he used to command. And with the High Lordsโ€™ power so greatly decreased, Amarantha wrested control of Prythian from them in a matter of days. For forty-nine years, we have been her slaves. For forty-nine years, she has been biding her time, waiting for the right moment to break the Treaty and take your landsโ€”and all human territories beyond it.โ€

I wished there were a stool, a bench, a chair for me to slump into. Alis slammed shut the final

drawer and limped for the pantry.

โ€œNow they call her the Deceiverโ€”she who trapped the seven High Lords and built her palace beneath the sacred Mountain in the heart of our land.โ€ Alis paused before the pantry door and covered her face again, taking a few steadying breaths.

The sacred mountainโ€”that bald, monstrous peak Iโ€™d spotted in the mural in the library all those months ago. โ€œBut โ€ฆ the sickness in the lands โ€ฆ Tamlin said that the blight took their powerโ€”โ€

โ€œSheย is the sickness in these lands,โ€ Alis snapped, lowering her hands and entering the pantry. โ€œThere is no blight but her. The borders were collapsing because she laid them to rubble. She found it amusing to send her creatures to attack our lands, to test whatever strength Tamlin had left.โ€

If the blight was Amarantha, then the threat to the human realm โ€ฆย Sheย was the threat to the human realm.

Alis emerged from the pantry, her arms full of various root vegetables. โ€œYou could have been the

one to stop her.โ€ Her eyes were hard upon me, and she bared her teeth. They were alarmingly sharp. She shoved the turnips and beets into the bag. โ€œYou could have been the one to free him and his power, had you not been so blind to your own heart. Humans,โ€ she spat.

โ€œIโ€”I โ€ฆโ€ I lifted my hands, exposing my palms to her. โ€œI didnโ€™t know.โ€

โ€œYou couldnโ€™t know,โ€ Alis said bitterly, her laugh harsh as she entered the pantry again. โ€œIt was part of Tamlinโ€™s curse.โ€

My head swam, and I pressed myself further against the wall. โ€œWhat was?โ€ I fought the rising hitch in my voice. โ€œWhat was his curse? What did she do to him?โ€

Alis yanked remaining spice jars off the pantry shelf. โ€œTamlin and Amarantha knew each other beforeโ€”his family had long been tied to Hybern. During the War, the Spring Court allied with Hybern to keep the humans enslaved. So his father

โ€”his father, who was a fickle and vicious Lordโ€” was very close with the King of Hybern, to Amarantha. Tamlin as a child often accompanied

him on trips to Hybern. And he met Amarantha in the process.โ€

Tamlin had once said to me that he would fight t oย protectย someoneโ€™s freedomโ€”that he would never allow slavery. Had it been solely because of shame for his own legacy, or because he โ€ฆ heโ€™d come to somehow know what it was to be enslaved?

โ€œAmarantha eventually grew to desire Tamlinโ€” to lust for him with her entire wicked heart. But heโ€™d heard the stories from others about the War, and knew what Amarantha and his father and the Hybern king had done to faeries and humans alike. What she did to Jurian as punishment for her sisterโ€™s death. He was wary of her when she came here, despite her attempts to lure him into her bed

โ€”and kept his distance, right up until she stole his powers. Lucien โ€ฆ Lucien was sent to her as Tamlinโ€™s emissary, to try to treat for peace between them.โ€

Bile rose in my throat.

โ€œShe refused, and โ€ฆ Lucien told her to go back to the shit-hole sheโ€™d crawled out of. She took his

eye as punishment. Carved it out with her own fingernail, then scarred his face. She sent him back so bloody that Tamlin โ€ฆ The High Lord vomited when he saw his friend.โ€

I couldnโ€™t let myself imagine what state Lucien had been in, then, if it had made Tamlin sick.

Alis tapped on her mask, the metal pinging beneath her nails. โ€œAfter that, she hosted a masquerade Under the Mountain for herself. All the courts were present. A party, she saidโ€”to make amends for what sheโ€™d done to Lucien, and a masquerade so he didnโ€™t have to reveal the horrible scarring on his face. The entire Spring Court was to attend, even the servants, and to wear masksโ€”to honor Tamlinโ€™s shape-shifting powers, she said. He was willing to try to end the conflict without slaughter, and he agreed to goโ€”to bring all of us.โ€

I pressed my hands against the stone wall behind me, savoring its coolness, its steadiness.

Pausing in the center of the kitchen, Alis set down her satchel, now full of food and supplies. โ€œWhen all were assembled, she claimed that peace

could be hadโ€”if Tamlin joined her as her lover and consort. But when she tried to touch him, he refused to let her near. Not after what sheโ€™d done to Lucien. He saidโ€”in front of everyone that night

โ€”that he would sooner take a human to his bed, soonerย marryย a human, than ever touch her. She might have let it go, had he not then said that her own sister had preferred a humanโ€™s company to hers, that her own sister had chosen Jurian over her.โ€

I winced, already knowing what Alis would say as she braced her hands on her hips and went on. โ€œYou can guess how well that went over with Amarantha. But she told Tamlin that she was in a generous moodโ€”told him sheโ€™d give him a chance to break the spell sheโ€™d put upon him to steal his power.

โ€œHe spat in her face, and she laughed. She said he had seven times seven years before she claimed him, before heย hadย to join her Under the Mountain. If he wanted to break her curse, he need only find a human girl willing to marry him. But not any girlโ€” a human with ice in her heart, with hatred for our

kind. A human girl willing to kill a faerie.โ€ The ground rocked beneath me, and I was grateful for the wall I leaned against. โ€œWorse, the faerie she killed had to be one ofย hisย men, sent across the wall by him like lambs to slaughter. The girl could only be brought here to be courted if she killed one of his men in an unprovoked attackโ€”killed him for hatred alone, just as Jurian had done to Clythia โ€ฆ So he could understand her sisterโ€™s pain.โ€

โ€œThe Treatyโ€”โ€

โ€œThat was all a lie. There was no provision for that in the Treaty. You can kill as many innocent faeries as you want and never suffer the consequences. You just killed Andras, sent out by Tamlin as that dayโ€™s sacrifice.โ€ย Andras was looking for a cure, Tamlin had said. Not for some magical blightโ€”but a cure to save Prythian from Amarantha, a cure for this curse.

The wolfโ€”Andras had just โ€ฆ stared at me before I killed him.ย Letย me kill him. So it could begin this chain of events, so that Tamlin might stand a chance of breaking the spell. And if Tamlin had sent Andras across the wall, knowing he might

very well die โ€ฆย Oh, Tamlin.

Alis stooped to gather up a butter knife, twisted and bent, and carefully straightened out the blade. โ€œIt was all a cruel joke, a clever punishment, to Amarantha. You humans loathe and fear faeries so much it would be impossibleโ€”impossible for the same girl who slaughtered a faerie in cold blood to then fall in love with one. But the spell on Tamlin could only be broken if she did just that before the forty-nine years were overโ€”if that girl said to his face that she loved him, and meant it with her entire heart. Amarantha knows humans are preoccupied with beauty, and thus bound the masks to all our faces, to his face, so it would be more difficult to find a girl willing to look beyond the mask, beyond his faerie nature, and to the soul beneath. Then she bound us so we couldnโ€™t say a word about the curse. Not a single word. We could hardly tell you a thing about our world, about our fate. He couldnโ€™t tell youโ€”none of us properly could. The lies about the blightโ€”that was the best he could do, the best we could all do. That I can tell you now โ€ฆ it means the game is over, to her.โ€

She pocketed the knife.

โ€œWhen she first cursed him, Tamlin sent one of his men across the wall every day. To the woods, to farms, all disguised as wolves to make it more likely for one of your kind to want to kill them. If they came back, it was with stories of human girls who ran and screamed and begged, who didnโ€™t even lift a hand. When they didnโ€™t come backโ€” Tamlinโ€™s bond with them as their Lord and master told him theyโ€™d been killed by others. Human hunters, older women, perhaps. For two years he sent them out, day after day, having to pick who crossed the wall. When all but a dozen of them were left, it broke him so badly he stopped. Called it all off. And since then, Tamlin has been here, defending his borders as chaos and disorder ruled in the other courts under Amaranthaโ€™s thumb. The other High Lords fought back, too. Forty years ago, she executed three of them and most of their families for banding together against her.โ€

โ€œOpen rebellion? What courts?โ€ I straightened, taking a step away from the wall. Perhaps I might find allies among them to help me save Tamlin.

โ€œThe Day Court, Summer Court, and Winter Court. And noโ€”it didnโ€™t even get far enough to be considered an open rebellion. She used the High Lordsโ€™ powers to bind us to the land. So the rebel lords tried calling for aid from the other Fae territories using as messengers whatever humans were foolish enough to enter our landsโ€”most of them young women who worshipped us like gods.โ€ The Children of the Blessed. They had indeed made it over the wallโ€”but not to be brides. I was too battered by what Iโ€™d heard to grieve for them, rage for them.

โ€œBut Amarantha caught them all before they left these shores, and โ€ฆ you can imagine how it ended for those girls. Afterward, once Amarantha also butchered the rebellious High Lords, their successors were too terrified to tempt her wrath again.โ€

โ€œAnd where are they now? Are they allowed to live on their lands, like Tamlin was?โ€

โ€œNo. She keeps them and their entire courts Under the Mountain, where she can torment them as she pleases. Othersโ€”others, if they swear

allegiance, if they grovel and serve her, she allows them a bit more freedom to come and go Under the Mountain as they will. Our court was only allowed to remain here until Tamlinโ€™s curse ran out, but โ€ฆโ€ Alis shivered.

โ€œThatโ€™s why you keep your nephews in hidingโ€” to keep them away from this,โ€ I said, glancing at the full satchel at her feet.

Alis nodded, and as she went to right the overturned worktable, I moved to help her, both of us grunting at the weight. โ€œMy sister and I served in the Summer Courtโ€”and she and her mate were among those put down for spite when Amarantha first invaded. I took the boys and ran before Amarantha had everyone dragged Under the Mountain. I came here because it was the only place to go, and asked Tamlin to hide my boys. He didโ€”and when I begged him to let me help, in whatever small way, he gave me a position here, days before the masque that put this wretched thing on my face. So Iโ€™ve been here for nearly fifty years, watching as Amaranthaโ€™s noose grew tighter around his neck.โ€

We set the table upright again, and both of us panted a bit as we slumped against it.

โ€œHe tried,โ€ Alis said. โ€œEven with her spies, he tried finding ways to break the curse, to do anything against it, against having to send his men out again to be slaughtered by humans. He thought that if the human girl loved true, then bringing her here to free him was another form of slavery. And he thought that if he did indeed fall in love with her, Amarantha would do everything she could to destroy her, as her sister had been destroyed. So he spent decades refusing to do it, to even risk it. But this winter, with months to go, he just โ€ฆ snapped. He sent the last of his men out, one by one. And they were willingโ€”they had begged him to go, all these years. Tamlin was desperate to save his people, desperate enough to risk the lives of his men, risk that human girlโ€™s life to save us. Three days in, Andras finally ran into a human girl in a clearingโ€”and you killed him with hate in your heart.โ€

But I had failed them. And in so doing, Iโ€™d damned them all.

I had damned each and every person on this estate, damned Prythian itself.

I was glad I was leaning against the tableโ€™s edge

โ€”or else I might have slid to the floor.

โ€œYou could have broken it,โ€ Alis snarled, those sharp teeth mere inches from my face. โ€œAll you had to do was say that you loved himโ€”say that you loved him and mean it with your whole useless human heart, and his power would have been freed. You stupid,ย stupidย girl.โ€

No wonder Lucien had resented me and yet still tolerated my presenceโ€”no wonder heโ€™d been so bitterly disappointed when I left, had argued with Tamlin to let me stay longer. โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ I said, my eyes burning.

Alis snorted. โ€œTell that to Tamlin. He had only three days after you left before the forty-nine years were over.ย Three days, and he let you go. She came here with her cronies at the exact moment the seven times seven years were over and seized him, along with most of the court, and brought them Under the Mountain to be her subjects. Creatures like me are tooย lowlyย for herโ€”though sheโ€™s not

above murdering us for sport.โ€

I tried not to visualize it. โ€œBut what of the King of Hybernโ€”if sheโ€™s conquered Prythian for herself and stolen his spells, then does he see her as insubordinate or as an ally?โ€

โ€œIf they are on bad terms, he has made no move to punish her. For forty-nine years now, sheโ€™s held these lands in her grip. Worse, after the High Lords fell, all the wicked ones in our landsโ€”the ones too awful even for the Night Courtโ€”flocked to her. They still do. Sheโ€™s offered them sanctuary. But we knowโ€”we know sheโ€™s building her army, biding her time before launching an attack on your world, armed with the most lethal and vicious faeries in Prythian and Hybern.โ€

โ€œLike the Attor,โ€ I said, horror and dread twisting in my gut, and Alis nodded. โ€œIn the human territory,โ€ I said, โ€œrumor claims more and more faeries have been sneaking over the wall to attack humans. And if no faeries can cross the wall without her permission, then that has to mean sheโ€™s been sanctioning those attacks.โ€

And if I was right about what had happened to

Clare Beddor and her family, then Amarantha had given the order for that, too.

Alis swiped some dirt I couldnโ€™t see from the table we leaned against. โ€œI would not be surprised if she has sent her minions into the human realm to investigate your strengths and weaknesses in anticipation of the destruction she one day hopes to cause.โ€

This was worseโ€”so much worse than I had thought when I warned Nesta and my family to stay on alert and leave at the slightest sign of trouble. I felt sick to think of what kind of company Tamlin was keepingโ€”sick at the thought of him being so desperate, so stricken by guilt and grief over having to sacrifice his sentries and never being able to tell me โ€ฆ And heโ€™d let me go. Let all their sacrifices, let Andrasโ€™s sacrifice, be in vain.

Heโ€™d known that if I remained, I would be at risk of Amaranthaโ€™s wrath, even if I freed him.

โ€œI canโ€™t even protect myself against them, against whatโ€™s happening in Prythian โ€ฆ Even if we stood against the blight, they would hunt you downโ€”she would find a way to kill you.โ€

I remembered that pathetic effort to flatter me upon my arrivalโ€”and then heโ€™d given up on it, on any attempt to win me when Iโ€™d seemed so desperate to get away, to never talk to him. But heโ€™d fallen in love with me despite all thatโ€” known Iโ€™d loved him, and let me go with days to spare. He had put me before his entire court, before all of Prythian.

โ€œIf Tamlin were freedโ€”if he had his full powers,โ€ I said, staring at a blackened bit of wall, โ€œwould he be able to destroy Amarantha?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know. She tricked the High Lords through cunning, not force. Magicโ€™s a specific kind of thingโ€”it likes rules, and she manipulated them too well. She keeps their powers locked up inside herself, as if she canโ€™t use them, or can access very little of them, at least. She has her own deadly powers, yes, so if it came down to a fightโ€”โ€

โ€œBut is he stronger?โ€ I started wringing my hands.

โ€œHeโ€™s a High Lord,โ€ Alis replied, as if that were answer enough. โ€œBut none of that matters now. Heโ€™s to be her slave, and weโ€™re all to wear these

masks until he agrees to become her loverโ€”even then, heโ€™ll never regain his full powers. And sheโ€™ll never let those Under the Mountain go.โ€

I pushed off the table and squared my shoulders. โ€œHow do I get Under the Mountain?โ€

She clicked her tongue. โ€œYou canโ€™t go Under the Mountain. No human who goes in ever comes out.โ€

I squeezed my fists so hard that my nails bit into my flesh. โ€œHow. Do. I. Get. There.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s suicideโ€”sheโ€™ll kill you, even if you get close enough to see her.โ€

Amarantha had tricked himโ€”she had hurt him so badly. Hurt them all so badly.

โ€œYouโ€™re a human,โ€ Alis went on, standing as well. โ€œYour flesh is paper-thin.โ€

Amarantha must also have taken Lucienโ€”she had carved out Lucienโ€™s eye and scarred him like that. Did his mother grieve for him?

โ€œYou were too blind to see Tamlinโ€™s curse,โ€ Alis continued. โ€œHow do you expect to face Amarantha? Youโ€™ll make things worse.โ€

Amarantha had taken everything I wanted,

everything I finally dared desire. โ€œShow me the way,โ€ I said, my voice trembling, but not with tears.

โ€œNo.โ€ Alis slung her satchel over a shoulder. โ€œGo home. Iโ€™ll take you as far as the wall. Thereโ€™s naught to be done now. Tamlin will remain her slave forever, and Prythian will stay under her rule. Thatโ€™s what Fate dealt, that was what the Eddies of the Cauldron decided.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t believe in Fate. Nor do I believe in some ridiculousย Cauldron.โ€

She shook her head again, her wild brown hair like glistening mud in the dim light.

โ€œTake me to her,โ€ I insisted.

If Amarantha ripped out my throat, at least I would die doing something for himโ€”at least I would die trying to fix the destruction I hadnโ€™t prevented, trying to save the people Iโ€™d doomed. At least Tamlin would know it was for him, and that I loved him.

Alis studied me for a moment before her eyes softened. โ€œAs you wish.โ€

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