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Chapter no 59

A Court of Silver Flames

Nesta opened her eyes.

She knew she was warm and content, though it took her a moment to remember the reason. To realize she was still in Cassianโ€™s arms. She reveled in it. Savored each breath that brushed against her temple, felt the press of his fingers along her lower back. A calm settled over her, strikingly similar to what she felt when she did her daily Mind-Stilling.

Cassian awoke soon after, giving her a sleepy, sated smile. It softened into something tender, and for long minutes, they lay there, staring at each other, Cassian idly brushing his hand down her back. Caressing soon turned to more fervent touching, and as the dawn broke, they tangled again, their lovemaking thorough and unhurried.

When she again lay sweating and panting beside him, running a finger down the groove of his muscled stomach, Nesta murmured, โ€œGood morning.โ€

Cassianโ€™s fingers idly smoothed her hair. โ€œGood morning to you, too.โ€ He glanced toward the mantelโ€”the small wooden clock in its center, then lurched upright. โ€œShit.โ€

Nesta frowned. โ€œYou have somewhere to be?โ€ He was already hopping into his pants, scanning the floor for the rest of his clothes. Nesta silently pointed to the other side of the bed, where his shirt lay atop her dress.

โ€œSnowball fight. Iโ€™ll be late.โ€

Nesta had to unload each word of his statement. But she could only ask, โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œAnnual tradition, with Rhys and Az. We go up to the mountain cabin

โ€”remind me to take you there one dayโ€”and โ€ฆ Well, itโ€™s a long story, but weโ€™ve done it pretty much every year for centuries, and I havenโ€™t won in years. If I donโ€™t win this year, I willย neverย hear the end of it.โ€ All of this was said while shoving himself into his shirt, leather jacket, and boots.

Nesta just laughed. โ€œYou threeโ€”the most feared warriors in all the land

โ€”have an annualย snowballย fight?โ€

Cassian reached the door, throwing her a wicked grin. โ€œDid I mention we take a steam in the birchin attached to the cabin afterward?โ€

From that wicked grin, she knew he meantย completely naked. Nesta sat up, hair sliding over her breasts. His eyes dipped lower, a muscle pounding in his neck. For a heartbeat she hoped heโ€™d lunge for her again. Indeed, his nostrils flared, scenting the need that boiled in her just at the sight of his gaze roving freely over her body, the way every part of him tensed.

But Cassian swallowed, grin and wickedness fading as he cleared his throat. โ€œAfter the fight, I need to do a comprehensive inspection of the legions in Illyria for a few days. Iโ€™ll be back after that.โ€

Without so much as a farewell kiss, he vanished.

 

 

Three days passed with no word from Cassian. Heโ€™d been replaced in training by a stone-faced Azriel, who was more aloof than usual and wouldnโ€™t even give her a smile. But he didnโ€™t object when she brought her Symphonia to the ring each morning for some extra motivation while exercising. The priestesses had marveled at the gift, a few of them dancing to the music, but Nesta had only been able to think about how much time and effort Cassian had put into it. How he had known what such a present would mean to her.

Her entire body ached with need, setting her teeth on edge. Three days without him might as well have been three months. Sheโ€™d become desperate enough for him that her hand now slid between her legs in the bath, in bed, even during lunch in her room. But release left her empty, as if her body

knew it needed him in her, filling her. Sheโ€™d asked Azriel every day when heโ€™d be back, and Azriel had only said,ย Soon, before conducting their lessons.

Maybe sheโ€™d gone mad. Maybe that was what that iron wall around her mind had beenโ€”the thing that kept her sanity in check. Surely it wasnโ€™t normal to think of a person this much, need themย thisย much.

It was that worry that hounded her as they wrapped up lessons, panting and sweating despite the frigid morning thanks to the Valkyrie sprints theyโ€™d been practicing: ten seconds at a full sprint, thirty seconds trotting, another ten seconds sprinting โ€ฆ For fifteen minutes straight. Once they could get through it, theyโ€™d add in their shields. Then swords. All of it designed to build their stamina and focus on controlling their breathing between bursts of attack and retreat. All of it utter insanity that couldnโ€™t quite dull the edge of Nestaโ€™s fretting as she asked Emerie and Gwyn, โ€œDo you want to stay over at the House with me tonight?โ€ She motioned to the archway. โ€œHave a read-in or something?โ€

Gwyn blinked, considering. She had not set foot outside of the library save to come to these lessons or to use the practice ring to hack at that ribbon. But she said, โ€œIโ€™ll ask Clotho.โ€

Emerie smirked at Nesta, as if aware of why she needed company. โ€œSure.โ€

That evening, Nesta and Emerie read in companionable silence in the private library, waiting for Gwyn. Emerie had sprawled across the armchair, legs dangling over an arm, her back against the other. Without looking up from the book in her lap, she said, โ€œCassian must beย reallyย good at sex, if youโ€™re so tied up in knots while heโ€™s gone.โ€

Nesta cleared her throat, dispelling the memories of his mouth, his strong body, the way his silken black hair fell on either side of his face as he lay over her, swaying as he pounded into her. โ€œHeโ€™s โ€ฆโ€ She made a low noise in her throat.

โ€œI figured,โ€ Emerie said, chuckling. โ€œHeโ€™s got the Walk.โ€ โ€œThe Walk?โ€

Emerie smirked. โ€œYou know, when a male knows how to use his cock well and struts around with that swagger that basically declares it to

everyone.โ€

Nesta rolled her eyes. โ€œIโ€™d hope he knows how to use it well after being alive for five hundred years.โ€ She snorted. โ€œThough Iโ€™ve met plenty who proved that wrong.โ€

Emerie arched a brow for her to continue, but a knock sounded on the library door. Gwynโ€™s head popped in, and she scanned the room before entering. She bore a small bag, presumably of what sheโ€™d need for the night. Nesta had already asked the House to prepare a bedroom for all three of them to share, and sheโ€™d entered the private library to find it transformed: by the window against the far wall, a worktable and chairs had been swapped for three cots, each laden with blankets and pillows.

Gwyn smiled, though her pulse pounded wildly against the column of her throat. โ€œSorry Iโ€™m late. Merrill made me go over a paragraph with herย ten times.โ€ Gwyn sighed. โ€œPlease tell me all the chocolate is for us.โ€

The House had stocked the table between the armchairs with piles of chocolate: truffles and confections and bars of it. Along with cookies and small finger cakes. And a platter of cheeses and fruit. And carafes of water and various juices.

Gwyn surveyed the table. โ€œDid you go to all this trouble?โ€

โ€œOh, no,โ€ Emerie said, eyes glowing. โ€œNestaโ€™s been holding out on us.โ€

Nesta scoffed, but Emerie said, โ€œThe House will get youย anything you want. Just say it aloud.โ€ At Gwynโ€™s raised brows, Emerie said, โ€œIโ€™d like a slice of pistachio cake, please.โ€

A plateful of one appeared before her. As well as a bowl of whipped cream topped with raspberries.

Gwyn blinked. โ€œYou live in a magic house.โ€

โ€œIt likes to read,โ€ Nesta admitted, patting a stack of the romances. โ€œWeโ€™ve bonded over that.โ€

Gwyn whispered to the room, โ€œWhatโ€™s your favorite book?โ€

One thumped on the table beside Emerieโ€™s cake, and Gwyn squawked in surprise. But then rubbed her hands together. โ€œOh, this is delightful.โ€

โ€œThat smile means trouble,โ€ Emerie said. Gwynโ€™s grin just widened.

 

 

Two hours later, Nesta found herself fully clothed in a bathtub in the middle of the private library, the entire thing filled with bubbles. No water, just bubbles. In matching tubs on either side of her, Emerie and Gwyn were giggling. โ€œThis is ridiculous,โ€ Nesta said, even as her mouth curved upward.

Each one of their requests had gotten more and more absurd, and Nesta might have felt like they were exploiting the House had it not been so โ€ฆ exuberant in answering their commands. Adding creative flourishes.

Like the fact that each bubble held a tiny bird fluttering about inside.

Silent fireworks still exploded in the far corner of the room, and a miniature pegasusโ€”Nestaโ€™s request, made only when her friends goaded her into submitting oneโ€”fed on a small patch of grass by the shelf, content to ignore them. A cake taller than Cassian stood in the center of the room, lit with a thousand candles. Six frogs danced circles around a red-and-white-spotted toadstool, the waltzes provided by Nestaโ€™s Symphonia.

Emerie wore a diamond crown and six strings of pearls. Gwyn sported a broad-brimmed hat fit for any fine lady, perched at a rakish angle on her head. A lace parasol leaned against her other shoulder, and she twirled it idly as she surveyed the windows, the world beyond, and said in a hushed voice, โ€œI sometimes wonder if I shall ever have the courage to go out there again. I fear every day that I wonโ€™t.โ€

Nestaโ€™s smile slid away. She considered her words before she said, โ€œI feel the same.โ€

Because this existence, living in the House, training, working in the library โ€ฆ It wasnโ€™t real life. Not entirely. When she was allowed to return to the city proper, then sheโ€™d face life again. See if she was worthy of it. The thought made her stomach twist.

Dispelling the gloom, Gwyn leaped out of her tub, bubbles spraying, and padded for her bag. โ€œNow, donโ€™t you two dare laugh at me, but I brought something for us to do. I didnโ€™t realize weโ€™d have a magic house to keep us occupied.โ€ She pulled out a bundle of various colored threads. โ€œMy sister and I used to braid bracelets and put these little charms on them full

of wishes for each other.โ€ She lifted a sack, dumping a few silver coins into her palm. They were no larger than her pinkie nail, and as thin as a wafer. Her voice grew soft. โ€œWe believed that the wish would come true once the bracelet fell off.โ€

Emerie asked gently, โ€œWhat was her name?โ€

โ€œCatrin.โ€ Gwynโ€™s voice held so much pain and longing. โ€œWe were fraternal twins. Her hair was dark as onyx, her skin pale as the moon. And she was as moody as the sea.โ€ She laughed quietly. โ€œDespite her faultsโ€” and mineโ€”we loved each other dearly. We were all each other had while growing up. She was the only one I could truly rely on. I miss her every day.โ€

Nesta couldnโ€™t stop herself from thinking of Feyre.

Gwyn said, โ€œI wish I could just have one more moment with her. Just one, to tell her that I love her and say good-bye.โ€ She wiped at her eyes, lifting her head. Looked right at Nesta. โ€œItโ€™s what really mattered in the end, you know. Not our petty fights or differences. I forgot all of that the moment she โ€ฆโ€ Gwyn shook her head. โ€œItโ€™s all that matters.โ€

Nesta nodded slowly. Perhaps it wasnโ€™t just her and Feyre, then. Perhapsย allย sisters had difficulties, fights, chasms between them. She wasnโ€™t perfect, but โ€ฆ neither was Feyre. They had both made mistakes. And both had long, long lives ahead of them. What had occurred in the past did not have to dictate the future.

So Nesta nodded again, letting Gwyn see her understanding. โ€œItโ€™s all that matters,โ€ Nesta agreed.

Gwyn smiled, and then straightened, clearing her throat. โ€œI managed to track the thread and charms down before Solstice, thinking Iโ€™d make them for you as little presents, but they took longer to arrive than I thought they would. So I figured we could make the bracelets tonight.โ€ She carefully set the materials upon the nearest table.

Nesta and Emerie rose to survey the variety of threads: all colors and hues, all carefully bundled. โ€œShow me how to do it,โ€ Emerie said softly. Nesta wondered if Gwynโ€™s words had resonated with her, tooโ€”what pain and hope Emerie might be holding within her.

But Gwyn grinned, beginning her demonstration by selecting three colors that she thought matched Emerieโ€™s spirit, she claimed. Green, purple, and gold. Nesta refrained from snickering and selected colors for Gwyn: blue, white, and teal. Emerie, in turn, selected Nestaโ€™s colors: navy blue, crimson, and silver. Nesta and Emerie dutifully tried to copy Gwynโ€™s โ€œeasyโ€ steps: doubling up the thread, knotting it, cutting the looped bits, then pinning the top of the bracelet beneath a heavy book as they separated each length by color. And then began a process of looping and pulling, back and forth. Emerieโ€™s knots were flawless. Nestaโ€™s โ€ฆ

โ€œYour bracelet is going to be an eyesore, Gwyn.โ€ Nesta scowled at the wobbly, bunched-up mess that was her first ten rows.

โ€œKeep going,โ€ Gwyn said, leagues ahead on her own bracelet and beginning to add pretty patterns within the rows. โ€œThe knots will get better-looking with practice. Just tell me when youโ€™ve gotten to the halfway point and then weโ€™ll add the charm.โ€

They worked in music-filled companionship, idle chatter bouncing between them, Emerie and Gwyn occasionally laughing at Nestaโ€™s awful workmanship. โ€œNow,โ€ Gwyn said when they were halfway through, โ€œwe make wishes for each other.โ€ She reached for one of the tiny coins. โ€œIโ€™ll just hold this in my hand, think of something for Emerie, andโ€”โ€

โ€œWait,โ€ Nesta said, catching Gwynโ€™s hand before it could touch the charm. โ€œLet me.โ€

Her friends regarded her curiously, and Nesta swallowed. โ€œLet me make a wish for all of us,โ€ she explained, gathering the three charms. A small gift

โ€”for the friends who had become like sisters.

A chosen family. Like the one Feyre had found for herself.

Nesta squeezed the charms in her palm, closing her eyes, and said: โ€œI wish for us to have the courage to go out into the world when we are ready, but to always be able to find our way back to each other. No matter what.โ€

Gwyn and Emerie cheered at that. And when Nesta opened her eyes, palm unfurling, she could have sworn the coins glowed faintly.

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