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Chapter no 10: Feyre

A Court of Frost and Starlight

I painted and painted and painted.

My heart thundered the entire time, steady as a war-drum.

I painted until my back cramped and my stomach gurgled with demands for hot cocoa and dessert.

Iโ€™d known what needed to come out of me the moment I perched on the rickety stool Iโ€™d dusted off from the back.

Iโ€™d barely been able to hold the paintbrush steady enough to make the first few strokes. From fear, yes. I was honest enough with myself to admit that.

But also from the sheer unleashing of it, as if I were a racehorse freed from my pen, the image in my mind a dashing vision that I sprinted to keep up with.

But it began to emerge. Began to take form.

And in its wake, a sort of quiet followed, as if it were a layer of snow blanketing the earth. Clearing away what was beneath.

More cleansing, more soothing than any of the hours Iโ€™d spent rebuilding this city. Equally as fulfilling, yes, but the painting, the unleashing and facing it, was a release. A first stitch to close a wound.

The tower bells of Velaris sang twelve before I stopped. Before I lowered my brush and stared at what Iโ€™d created. Stared at what gazed back.

Me.

Or how Iโ€™d been in the Ouroboros, that beast of scale and claw and darkness; rage and joy and cold. All of me. What lurked beneath my skin.

I had not run from it. And I did not run from it now. Yesโ€”the first stitch to close a wound. Thatโ€™s how it felt.

With my brush dangling between my knees, with that beast forever on canvas, my body went a bit limp. Boneless.

I scanned the gallery, the street behind the boarded-up windows. No one had come to inquire about the lights in the hours Iโ€™d been here.

I stood at last, groaning as I stretched. I couldnโ€™t take it with me. Not when the painting had to dry, and the damp night air off the river and distant sea would be terrible for it.

I certainly wasnโ€™t going to bring it back to the town house for someone to find. Even Rhys.

But here โ€ฆ No one would know, should someone come in, who had painted it. I hadnโ€™t signed my name. Didnโ€™t want to.

If I left it here to dry overnight, if I came back tomorrow, there would certainly be some closet in the House of Wind where I might hide it afterward.

Tomorrow, then. Iโ€™d come back tomorrow to claim it.

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