I only look at my phone because I know itโs Mom calling. I havenโt even turned off our block yet. Autumn must have already made her excuses and bolted.
โTechnically, Mom,โ I say instead of hello, โitโs raining and Iโm driving, so I shouldnโt have answered.โ
โMy advice worked, kiddo!โ Mom says. โI get one minute to gloat. And itโs barely raining.โ
Iโd forgotten what she said before leaving for the weekend: โTalk to her.โ Sheโd had a better view on the situation than I did.
Neither mother has ever said anything about us dating in all these years, not directly. Thatโs the thing about being raised by women: you learn about layers of communication from an early age. Without ever saying it, The Mothers have told me many times that they wished, for my sake, Autumn loved me back. It never occurred to me that maybe they were trying to tell me that sheย didย love me back.
โThis was not the outcome I was expecting,โ I admit to Mom, trying to share enough to get out of the conversation while saying as little as possible.
โItโs been quite a summer,โ she says, and I canโt help but laugh. โYeah.โ
โClaire and I are at our place having some champagne,โ Mom says, and I have to stifle another laugh. โAutumn has escaped to her room, and weโll leave her alone for now. I promise.โ Mom pauses. โShould I nudge Claire toward staying late or at our place tonight?โ
โUh, yeah. Sounds good,โ I say, blushing. Iโd thank my mother for intuiting my clandestine plans and assisting them, but itโs too much for me.
โOkay then,โ she says, relieving me. โIโll let you do what you need to. I love you. Iโm proud of you.โ
โYou always say youโre proud of me for the weirdest things, Mom,โ I tell her. โI love you too. Bye.โ
Iโm going to get two errands done at once by going to that gas station: buying the whole stock of Autumnโs favorite candies and some condoms. I figure the creepโs shift wonโt have started yet.
Iโm wrong though. I park in the same space as the night before, and I can see him through the window. Does he live here? Itโs truly raining now. Iโd planned to call Jack on my way to Sylvieโs, but I donโt like to drive and talk on my phone when itโs raining. I pull out my phone and scroll for Jackโs name.
โHey?โ He sounds confused, probably because he told me to call him after I broke up with Sylvie, and he knows itโs too early for that.
โHi,โ I say. โIโll be at Sylvieโs soon. I was calling to tell you that you were right.โ
โOf course I was right,โ Jack says. โAbout what?โ โAutumn and I are the two stupidest people on earth.โ โWait,โ he says. โHuh?โ
โShe loves me.โ Iโm so giddy, my voice sounds ridiculous even to my own ears. โWe talked about so many things last night, and she had no idea.
She never knew. She apologized for middle school, but it wasnโt all her fault. It was mine tooโand weโre together now.โ I stop short.
Thereโs silence on the other end. I almost think the call dropped when Jack says, โAre you sure?โ
โAll the way sure.โ I laugh. โIโm serious, dude. We spent all dayโtrust me. Sheโs in love me, I swear.โ
โOkay. Huh,โ Jack says. โUm, well, Iโm happy for you? And while youโre happy and distracted, I guess Iโll share my news. Alexis and I have been hooking up again.โ
โOh, come on, Jack,โ I say.
โItโs only for the rest of summer!โ he insists. โIโm not agreeing to indentured servitude again. Itโs just physical.โ
โItโs a good thing sheโs headed to Carbondale, because otherwise you two would end up accidentally married.โ
โWell, when you break it off with Sylvie, Lexy might cut me off,โ Jack says. โEspecially if you tell her that youโre going out with Princess Autumn Fucking Davis.โ
โDonโt call her that,โ I say.
โMy point is thatโs what they call her. Iโm only warning you.โ
โIf Alexis cuts you off because Iโm with Autumn, Iโll be doing you both a favor,โ I say. โAnd I already know how rough this is going to be with Sylvie. Youโre supposed to be celebrating with me and are failing miserably.โ
โIโm happy she apologized,โ Jack says.
โShe did so much more than that,โ I say. โTrust me.โ
โIโm happy that youโre happy,โ Jack says. โAre you at Sylvieโs yet?โ โIโm making a quick stop. Picking up a few things.โ I finally get out of
the car and bolt for the door. My hair gets soaked immediately. โDonโt put it off too long,โ Jack says.
โThis is an essential errand,โ I say as I head for the candy aisle. โThen Iโm on my way to Sylvieโs. I probably wonโt be able to call you later.โ
โWhy not?โ Jack asks. โYou should come by after.โ
Iโm loading up my arms with the sugar sludge and powder as I answer. โIโm gonna be with Autumn.โ I scan the aisles and realize this place
keeps the condoms behind the counter, so Iโm going to have to talk to the creep. โI should probably go. Iโll call you tomorrow.โ
โOkay, Finn.โ Jack sighs. โLater.โ
I hang up. Yup, there they are behind the counter.
I should not have assumed this guy wouldnโt start his shift this early. The pay is probably terrible, and the hours are likely long. Iโll simply ask for the condoms and hope he wonโt say something gross.
I approach the counter and wait. The creep is making jokes with the customer in front of me. He doesnโt notice me until itโs my turn and I drop the load of sugar onto the counter.
He looks behind me like heโs hoping to see her, and his face falls. I look at the shine of his forehead, not his eyes.
โAnd someโa twelve pack of condoms.โ I try to keep my voice casual.
I hate that this guy intimidates me. His behavior oozes everything I hate about stereotypes of my gender, yet somehow, thereโs a part of me that wants to be man enough for him. Itโs probably rooted in my dad not being around, but the point is guys like this one make me feel disgusted yet inadequate.
He rings up Autumnโs candy before grabbing the condoms from the shelf behind him. He glances at me with a smirk, trying to catch my eye. I need to tell Autumn the truth about this guy.
Iโm so in my head I donโt even hear him speak to me. โWhat?โ
โBig plans tonight?โ He taps the box of condoms with his index finger.
โYou are so gross,โ I hear myself say, and for a moment, the creep and I are both surprised. โSorry,โ I say, even though Iโm not. โStop leering at teen girls. Meet someone your own age.โ
The manโs shiny forehead is suddenly cut by a bright red-purple vein.
His mustache wiggles with his fury.
I throw down my money and head out. I vow to always carry cash with me for the rest of my life in case of a similar situation.
The man shouts something after me, but it doesnโt matter what because Iโm already sliding into my car. I pull out of the parking lot. I have places to be.