Iย didnโt know what I was supposed to do with the stained-glassย ornament or what to make of the words written under the stair, but as Libby helped me let my hair down that night, one thing was perfectly clear.
The game wasnโt over.
The next morning, with Oren in my wake, I went in search of Jameson and Grayson. I found the former in the solarium, shirtless and standing in the sun.
โGo away,โ he said when I opened the door, without even looking to see who it was.
โI found something,โ I told him. โI donโt think the date is the answerโat least, not all of it.โ
He didnโt reply.
โJameson, are you listening to me? Iย found something.โ For what little time Iโd known him, heโd been driven, obsessed. What I held in my hand should have engendered at least a glimmer of curiosity, but when he turned to face me, his eyes dull, all he said was โToss it over with the rest.โ
I looked, and in a nearby trash can, I saw at least half a dozen stained- glass octagons, identical to the one that I held, right down to the ribbon.
โThe numbers ten and eighteen are everywhere in this godforsaken house.โ Jamesonโs voice was muted, his manner contained. โI found them scratched onto a panel on my closet floor. That little purple bugger was underneath.โ
He didnโt bother gesturing to the trash can or specifying which piece of stained glass he was referring to.
โAnd the others?โ I asked.
โOnce I started looking for the numbers, I couldnโt stop, and once you see it,โ Jameson said, his voice low, โyou canโt unsee it. The old man thought he was so smart. He must have hidden hundreds of those things, all over the house. I found a chandelier with eighteen crystals in the outer circle and ten in the middleโand a hidden compartment down below. There are eighteen stone leaves on the fountain outside, and ten finely drawn roses in its bowl. The paintings in the music roomโฆโ Jameson looked down. โEverywhere I look, everywhere I go, another reminder.โ
โDonโt you see,โ I told him fiercely. โYour grandfather couldnโt have done this all after Emily died. You would have noticedโโ
โWorkmen in the house?โ Jameson said, finishing my sentence. โThe great Tobias Hawthorne added a room or wing to this place every year, and in a house this size, something is always needing to be replaced or repaired. My mother was always buying new paintings, new fountains, new chandeliers. We wouldnโt have noticed a thing.โ
โTen-eighteen isnโt the answer,โ I insisted, willing his eyes to mine. โYou have to see that. Itโs a clueโone he didnโt want us to miss.โ
Us.ย Iโd saidย usโand I meant it. But that didnโt matter.
โTen-eighteen is answer enough,โ Jameson said, turning his back on me. โI told you, Avery: Iโm not playing anymore.โ
Grayson was harder to find. Eventually, I tried the kitchen and found Nash instead.
โHave you seen Grayson?โ I asked him.
Nashโs expression was guarded. โI donโt think he wants to see you, kid.โ
The night before, Grayson hadnโt blamed me. He hadnโt lashed out. But after heโd told me about Emily, heโd walked away.
Heโd left me alone.
โI need to see him,โ I said.
โGive it some time,โ Nash advised. โSometimes, you gotta excise a wound before it can heal.โ
I ended up back on the staircase to the East Wing, back in front of the portrait. Oren got a call, and he must have decided the threat to me was contained enough now that he didnโt need to watch me mope around Hawthorne House all day. He excused himself, and I went back to staring at Tobias Hawthorne.
It had seemed like fate when Iโd found the clue in this portrait, but after talking to Jameson, I knew that it wasnโt a signโor even a coincidence. The clue Iโd found had been one of many.ย You didnโt want them to miss this, I addressed the billionaire silently. If he really had done all of this after Emilyโs death, his persistence seemed cruel.ย Did you want to make sure that they wouldnโt forget what happened?
Is this whole twisted game just a reminderโan incessant reminderโto put family first?
Is that all I am?
Jameson had said, right from the beginning, that I was special. I hadnโt realized until now how badly Iโd wanted to believe that he was right, that I wasnโt invisible, wasnโt wallpaper. I wanted to believe that Tobias Hawthorne had seen something in me that had told him I could do this, that I could handle the stares and the limelight, the responsibility, the riddles, the threatsโall of it. I wanted to matter.
I didnโt want to be the glass ballerina or the knife. I wanted to prove, at least to myself, that I wasย something.
Jameson may have been done with the game, but I wanted to win.