There was a moment, after the campus tour, when Finny and I were alone, standing by the fountain. The sun was bleaching everything around us a painful, bright white. When the wind blew, the spray of the fountain cooled us, so we stayed where we were, waiting for The Mothers to stop taking pictures and head back to the hotel. I was looking around at everything, anything that wasnโt him, when he spoke.
โSo what do you think?โ he said. I shrugged.
โI like it, but Iโm not sure if I would be happy here.โ
โYou would be,โ he said. I looked up at him. He was looking at me. โWhy?โ I said. He shrugged.
โThere are lots of trees,โ he said.
***
Weโre heading home now. Finny is driving. It surprised meโthough it shouldnโt haveโwhen Aunt Angelina shook the keys and asked him if he wanted to take a turn. She offered me the front seat too, so I could stretch my legs out. In the backseat, The Mothers are feeling sentimental. They want to talk about the Christmas the power went out or Finnyโs fifth-grade soccer team or the poem about dead fairies I wrote when I was ten.
โDo you guys remember your first day of school?โ my mother says. โNo,โ I say.
โI do,โ Finny says.
โYou ran off without Finny,โ Aunt Angelina says. โHe was still clinging to my skirts in the door and you shot across the kindergarten to the monkey bars.โ
โAnd then you hung upside down and scared me to death,โ my mother says.
I donโt justย notย remember it; I donโtย believeย it either. I was terrified of being away from Finny and he was at home wherever we went.
โYou guys must have that backward,โ I say.
โYou were wearing a skirt and everyone could see your underwear,โ Mom says.
โYou were always the brave one,โ Aunt Angelina says.
โIt was you,โ Finny says. His eyes donโt leave the road. He does not see me glance over.
I donโt remember always being the brave one. I remember being afraid that he would leave me someday. I never would have left him.
***
โWhat about you?โ I had asked him. We were sitting on the edge of the fountain now. The Mothers were still wandering with the camera. I watched them as they walked this way and that.
โI like it too,โ he said. โReally?โ
โYeah,โ he said, โand itโs not too far from home.โ He paused then, and I looked back up at him. He wasnโt looking at me. โI think maybe Iโll go to New York for med school though.โ Finny in New York instead of me. By then, Iโll be married to Jamie and be back in Ferguson. Itโs funny how things donโt turn out the way you thought they would.
โWill you wear black turtlenecks and drink coffee for me?โ I said. โI donโt like coffee,โ he says. I laugh.
โYou know what? Me neither,โ I said. We both laughed. The Mothers took a picture of us but we didnโt know. They were far away and we are
small, sitting together on the corner of the fountain. Iโm looking at the ground; he is looking at me. We look as if we sit there every day, together.
On the way home, I look out the window and watch the trees fly by like road markers telling us how far we have come from where we were.