โWhat?โ
โHeโs not dead,โ Warner says, โthough he is severely injured. I suspect they should be able to revive him.โ
โWhatโโIโm panicking, panicking in my bonesโโwhat are you talking aboutโโ
โPlease,โ Warner says. โSit down. Iโll explain.โ He folds himself onto the floor and pats the place beside him. I donโt know what else to do and my legs are now officially too shaky to stand on their own.
My limbs spill onto the ground, both our backs against the wall, his right side and my left side divided only by a thin inch of air.
1
2
3 seconds pass.
โI didnโt want to believe Castle when he told me I might have a . . . aย gift,โ Warner says. His voice is pitched so low that I have to strain to hear it even though Iโm only inches away. โA part of me hoped he was trying to drive me mad for his own benefit.โ A small sigh. โBut it did make a bit of sense, if I really thought about it. Castle told me about Kent, too,โ Warner says. โAbout how he can touch you and how theyโve discovered why. For a moment I wondered if perhaps I had a similar ability. One just as pathetic. Equally as useless.โ He laughs. โI was extremely reluctant to believe it.โ
โItโs not a useless ability,โ I hear myself saying.
โReally?โ He turns to face me. Our shoulders are almost touching. โTell me, love. What can he do?โ
โHe can disable things. Abilities.โ
โRight,โ he says, โbut how will that everย helpย him? How could it ever help him to disable the powers of his own people? Itโs absurd. Itโsย wasteful. It wonโt help at all in this war.โ
I bristle. Decide to ignore that. โWhat does any of this have to do with Kenji?โ
He turns away from me again. His voice is softer when he says, โWould you believe me if I told you I could sense your energy right now? Sense the tone and weight of it?โ
I stare at him, study his features and the earnest, tentative note in his voice.
โYes,โ I tell him. โI think Iโd believe you.โ
Warner smiles in a way that seems to sadden him. โI can sense,โ he says, taking a deep breath, โthe emotions youโre feeling most strongly. And because I know you, Iโm able to put those feelings into context. I know the fear youโre feeling right now, for example, is not directed toward me, but toward yourself, and what you think youโve done to Kenji. I sense your hesitationโ your reluctance to believe that it wasnโt your fault. I feel your sadness, your grief.โ
โYou can really feel that?โ I ask. He nods without looking at me.
โI never knew that was possible,โ I tell him.
โI didnโt eitherโI wasnโt aware of it,โ he says. โNot for a very long time. I actually thought it was normal to be so acutely aware of human emotions. I thought perhaps I was more perceptive than most. Itโs a big factor in why my father allowed me to take over Sector 45,โ he tells me. โBecause I have an uncanny ability to tell whenever someone is hiding something, or feeling guilty, or, most importantly, lying.โ A pause. โThat,โ he says, โand because Iโm not afraid to deliver consequences if the occasion calls for it.
โIt wasnโt until Castle suggested there might be something more to me that I really began to analyze it. I nearly lost my mind.โ He shakes his head. โI kept going over it, thinking of ways to prove and disprove his theories. Even with all my careful deliberation, I dismissed it. And while I am a bit sorryโ for your sake, not for mineโthat Kenji had to be stupid enough to interfere tonight, I think it was actually quite serendipitous. Because now I finally have proof. Proof that I was wrong. That Castle,โ he says, โwas right.โ
โWhat do you mean?โ
โI took your Energy,โ he tells me, โand I didnโt know I could. I could feel it all very vividly when the four of us connected. Adam was inaccessibleโ which, by the way, explains why I never suspected him of being disloyal. His emotions were always hidden; always blocked off. I was naive and assumed he was merely robotic, devoid of any real personality or interests. He eluded me and it was my own fault. I trusted myself too much to be able to anticipate a flaw in my system.โ
And I want to say, Adamโs ability isnโt so useless after all, is it? But I donโt.
โAnd Kenji,โ Warner says after a moment. He rubs his forehead. Laughs a little. โKenji was . . . very smart. A lot smarter than I gave him credit forโ which, as it turns out, was exactly his tactic. Kenji,โ he says, blowing out a breath, โwas careful to be an obvious threat as opposed to a discreet one.
โHe was always getting into troubleโdemanding extra portions at meals, fighting with the other soldiers, breaking curfew. He broke simple rules in order to draw attention to himself. In order to trick me into seeing him as an irritant and nothing more. I always felt there was something off about him, but I attributed it to his loud, raucous behavior and his inability to follow rules. I dismissed him as a poor soldier. Someone who would never be promoted. Someone who would always be recognized as a waste of time.โ He shakes his head. Raises his eyebrows at the ground. โBrilliant,โ he says, looking almost impressed. โIt was brilliant. His only mistake,โ Warner adds after a moment, โwas being too openly friendly with Kent. And that mistake nearly cost him his life.โ
โSoโwhat? You were trying to finish him off tonight?โ Iโm still so confused, trying to make an attempt to refocus the conversation. โDid you hurt him on purpose?โ
โNot on purpose.โ Warner shakes his head. โI didnโt actually know what I was doing. Not at first. Iโve only ever justย sensedย Energy; I never knew I couldย takeย it. But I touched yours simply by touching youโthere was so much adrenaline among the group of us that yours practically threw itself at me. And when Kenji grabbed my arm,โ he says, โyou and I, we were still connected. And I . . . somehow I managed to redirect your power in his direction. It was quite accidental but I felt it happen. I felt your power rush into me. Rush out of me.โ He looks up. Meets my eyes. โIt was the most extraordinary thing Iโve ever experienced.โ
I think Iโd fall down if I werenโt already sitting.
โSo you can takeโyou can just take other peopleโs powers?โ I ask him. โApparently.โ
โAnd youโre sure you didnโt hurt Kenji on purpose?โ
Warner laughs, looks at me like Iโve just said something highly amusing. โIf I had wanted to kill him, I would have. And I wouldnโt have needed such a complicated setup to accomplish it. Iโm not interested in theatrics,โ he says. โIf I want to hurt someone, I wonโt require much more than my own two hands.โ
Iโm stunned into silence.
โIโm actually amazed,โ Warner says, โhow you manage to contain so much without finding ways to release the excess. I could barely hold on to it. The transfer from my body to Kenjiโs was not only immediate, it was necessary. I couldnโt tolerate the intensity for very long.โ
โAnd I canโt hurt you?โ I blink at him, astonished. โAt all? My power just goesย intoย you? You just absorb it?โ
He nods. Says, โWould you like to see?โ
And Iโm saying yes with my head and my eyes and my lips and Iโve never been more terrified to be excited in my life. โWhat do I have to do?โ I ask him.
โNothing,โ he says, so quietly. โJust touch me.โ
My heart is beating pounding racing running through my body and Iโm trying to focus. Trying to stay calm. This is going to be fine, I say to myself. Itโs going to be fine. Itโs just an experiment. Thereโs no need to get so excited about being able to touch someone again, I keep saying to myself.
But oh, I am so, so excited.ย He holds out his bare hand. I take it.
I wait to feel something, some feeling of weakness, some depletion of my Energy, some sign that a transfer is taking place from my body to his but I feel nothing at all. I feel exactly the same. But I watch Warnerโs face as his eyes close and he makes an effort to focus. Then I feel his hand tighten around mine and he gasps.
His eyes fly open and his free hand goes right through the floor.
I jerk back, panicked. Iโm tipping sideways, my hands catching me from behind. I must be hallucinating. I must be hallucinating the hole in the floor not 4 inches from where Warner is still sitting on the ground. I mustโve been hallucinating when I saw his resting palm press too hard and go right through. I must be hallucinating everything. All of this. Iโm dreaming and Iโm sure Iโm going to wake up soon. That must be it.
โDonโt be afraidโโ
โH-how,โ I stammer, โhow did you d-do thatโโ
โDonโt be frightened, love, itโs all right, I promiseโitโs new for me, tooโโ โMyโmy power? It doesnโtโyou donโt feel any pain?โ
He shakes his head. โOn the contrary. Itโs the most incredible rush of adrenalineโitโs unlike anything Iโve ever known. I actually feel a little light- headed,โ he says, โin the best possible way.โ He laughs. Smiles to himself.
Drops his head into his hands. Looks up. โCan we do it again?โ โNo,โ I say too quickly.
Heโs grinning. โAre you sure?โ
โI canโtโI just, I still canโt believe you can touch me. That you reallyโI meanโโIโm shaking my headโโthereโs no catch? There are no conditions? You touch me and no one gets hurt? And not only does no one get hurt, but youย enjoyย it? You actuallyย likeย the way it feels to touch me?โ
Heโs blinking at me now, staring like heโs not sure how to answer my question.
โWell?โ
โYes,โ he says, but itโs a breathless word. โYes, what?โ
I can hear how hard his heart is beating. I can actually hear it in the silence between us. โYes,โ he says. โI like it.โ
Impossible.
โYou never have to be afraid of touching me,โ he says. โIt wonโt hurt me. It can only give me strength.โ
I want to laugh one of those strange, high-pitched, delusional laughs that signals the end of a personโs sanity. Because this world, I think, has a terrible, terrible sense of humor. It always seems to be laughing at me. At my expense. Making my life infinitely more complicated all the time. Ruining all of my best-laid plans by making every choice so difficult. Making everything so confusing.
I canโt touch the boy I love.
But I can use my touch to strengthen the boy who tried to kill the one I love.
No one, I want to tell the world, is laughing.
โWarner.โ I look up, hit with a sudden realization. โYou have to tell Castle.โ
โWhy would I do that?โ
โBecause he has to know! It would explain Kenjiโs situation and it could help us tomorrow! Youโll be fighting with us and it might come in handyโโ
Warner laughs.
He laughs and laughs and laughs, his eyes brilliant, gleaming even in this dim light. He laughs until itโs just a hard breath, until it becomes a gentle sigh, until it dissolves into an amused smile. And then he grins at me until heโs grinning to himself, until he looks down and his gaze drops to my hand, the one lying limp on my lap and he hesitates just a moment before his fingers brush the soft, thin skin covering my knuckles.
I donโt breathe. I donโt speak.
I donโt even move.
Heโs hesitant, like heโs waiting to see if Iโll pull away and I should, I know I should but I donโt. So he takes my hand. Studies it. Runs his fingers along the lines of my palm, the creases at my joints, the sensitive spot between my
thumb and index finger and his touch is so tender, so delicate and gentle and it feels so good it hurts, it actually hurts. And itโs too much for my heart to handle right now.
I snatch back my hand in a jerky, awkward motion, face flushing, pulse tripping.
Warner doesnโt flinch. He doesnโt look up. He doesnโt even seem surprised. He only stares at his now empty hands as he speaks. โYou know,โ he says, his voice both strange and soft, โI think Castle is little more than an optimistic fool. He tries too hard to welcome too many people and itโs going to backfire, simply because itโs impossible to please everyone.โ A pause. โHe is the perfect example of the kind of person who doesnโt know the rules of this game. Someone who thinks too much with his heart and clings too desperately to some fantastical notion of hope and peace. It will never help him,โ he sighs. โIn fact, it will be the end of him, Iโm quite sure of it.
โBut there is something about you,โ Warner says, โsomething about the wayย youย hope for things.โ He shakes his head. โItโs so naive that itโs oddly endearing. You like to believe people when they speak,โ he says. โYou prefer kindness.โ He smiles, just a little. Looks up. โIt amuses me.โ
All at once I feel like an idiot. โYouโre not fighting with us tomorrow.โ Warner is smiling openly now, his eyes so warm. โIโm going to leave.โ โYouโre going to leave.โ Iโm numb.
โI donโt belong here.โ
Iโm shaking my head, saying, โI donโt understandโhow can you leave?
You told Castle youโre going to fight with us tomorrowโdoes he know youโre leaving? Does anyone know?โ I ask him, searching his face. โWhat do you have planned? What are you going to do?โ
He doesnโt answer.
โWhat are you going toย do, Warnerโโ
โJuliette,โ he whispers, and his eyes are urgent, tortured all of a sudden. โI need to ask you somethiโโ
Someone is bolting down the tunnels. Calling my name.
Adam.